The Narcissistic Truths – No. 95

we-listen-but

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21 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 95”

  1. Good lord! This is by far the most informative page on narcissist I have ever read! Dude, you have exposed yall to a degree of me trying to figure out my escape out of this crazy ass relationship im in! My health my mind you name it has deteriorated since being in this relationship with this narc! You have so many books, I dont know which to get first! But I tell you what! Im coming out of this in the name of Jesus! Im exhausted and drained! Sigh…….thank you for helping empaths, codependents etc…we dont deserve this abuse. We dont!

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      1. N hear what they want to hear during seducing period so they can use it in the future against us. .. sad but true…

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  2. Which narc? The lesser, mid-range or greater? If they do not hear, how is it they claim to know us so well and take the time to read our facial cues, micro expressions, and body language? All of the context embedded cues we give up says a lot than what we say in words? Could you readdress me to another article that may answer this if it’s redundant?

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  3. It is real! He never remembered what I told him… while I remember every single words…
    H.G. i would to say you thank you because it is now 2 weeks that he come back to hoovering me (and neither he is working time, he gives only a few crumbs occasional more) and I’m able to say NO to his requests (and I had no great anxieties or falls mood) even though I reply to his messages and phone calls. I have to restablish “no contact”.

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  4. My experience is very different. My narc does listen and has an incredible memory. Ive relied on his memory of things in the past bc mine hasnt been as sharp. That could be a result of the relationship. Youre so in it you forgot life around you. He does listen and databases it in his head to use later. He really studies people. He would tell me he was quiet and lacked confidence around women but its the reverse hes exceptionally charming and knows what we like and thats to be heard and attention put on us. He knows all my feel good buttons and one is being listened to and taking an interest in what i contribute to our conversations. One of my favorite things in our relationship is our conversations. We never run out of things to talk about. That all said, he has used so much of what ive confided in him to draw me into him and as fear tactics to control me. He knows im afraid of abandonment and has implemented that fear in different ways to throw me a loop, usually when hes bothered about something ive done or said or just to create drama. Narcs get bored of the same humdrum and like to shake things up. Hes also used what ive told him to really tap into my deep psychi. Like talking to me about things that happened to me growing up. He knows about the sexual abuse as well. So in my situation he does listen and it feels oh so good until its used in an undesirable way.

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  5. Oh you hear all right. It’s just selective hearing. I had to repeat some things over and over but then my narc brought something up I said a year earlier as an excuse against me.

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    1. Indeed Brian, although there is an extended version of the Empath Miranda Obligation (rights?!)

      Everything you say will be recorded and used against you at a later date.
      Everything you did not say will be invented on your behalf.
      Everything you did will be construed against you.
      Everything you did not do will be used against you.
      Are you looking at me funny?

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