“Glow worm”

From the obvious and well-used to the corruptions and bastardisation of your first name through to the downright bizarre, pet names are a standard feature of relationships. Parents may have a nickname or pet name for their child, we use nicknames for our friends but most often they are used in the context of an intimate relationship. Their use is to denote endearment and to highlight something special and unique (although using babe is not going to win awards in that category) between that person and their significant other. When used in the context of a non-narcissistic relationship they are relatively harmless, perhaps hinting at something which teases and might be mildly embarrassing (e.g. calling someone glow worm because they go red and become embarrassed easily) but generally they are used as a fond and kind epitaph. That situation becomes corrupted and entirely different in our hands. We regularly use pet names for our primary sources, but our motives for doing so are not about being genuinely endearing but for a host of more nefarious reasons.

  1. It is done to appear to endearing to you so that you think you are special to us. You merit being given a pet name and therefore you are led to think that we naturally care and love you since we have taken this step. This is done because it is a standard step in many intimate relationships and all we are doing is mimicking that for the purposes of making you think that the relationship between you and us is wonderful, special and marvellous.
  1. You are our possession. By giving you a label in this manner we are branding you and stamping on you that you belong to us. It enables us to exert control over you.
  1. We objectify all of our appliances and by giving you a pet name we are reinforcing that. We may call you “angel” but in our minds you are just an angel, one of hundreds no thousands out there. In the way that those who find themselves in a perilous situation might use their name with an aggressor of kidnapper in order to humanise themselves and the other person, we utilise pet names to dehumanise you. It is our stand point that you are an object to us and it is far easier to control and abuse an object.
  1. We use the same pet names for many of our appliances. There will be differences when for example the pet name plays on your name, so if you are called, Rebecca, we may call you Beccipops, but if it is a pet name which is nothing to do with your actual name or a distinct attribute of yours then you should be aware that several primary sources before you all got the same name and the ones that comes after you will as well.
  1. By using a pet name and keeping it the same for all our primary sources we minimise the risk of calling you, accidentally, by the wrong name and bringing about questioning and a challenge. Thus, if we call you “Sugarbumps” and we are having an affair, the other person will also be called “Sugarbumps”. If you were ever granted access to a narcissist’s phone, do not be surprised to see Sugarbumps1 and Sugarbumps2 in the directory.
  1. As with many things narc, what we grant we then take away in order to upset you and exert control over you. Thus if we always referred to you as “Hot stuff” you can expect that come devaluation you would be referred to by your actual name instead of there may even be a corruption of the pet name, for instance calling you “Cold stuff” instead. This is done to make you react and feel hurt by this change in the affectionate pet name.
  1. In some instances, the pet name may actually seem like a compliment to you but actually has a hidden meaning to our kind and whilst you smile when you hear this name being used, we are actually laughing at you on the inside because you do not realise that you are being insulted. One example might be by jokingly referring to you as the boss. Thus in front of you and our coterie we may say,

“Thanks for asking, I will have to run it by the boss.”

You smile at this affectionate deference to your authority oblivious to the fact that my coterie and I know is means Best Of Seven Sluts, being a reference to how we regard you sexually.

  1. In some cases, we forget who you actually are (because we regard you as an object) but if we call all objects “Munchkin” then we can fall back on that and refer to you by this name without appearing stupid for forgetting what you are called.
  1. We may invent new and different pet names which are insulting, disrespectful and unpleasant when we embark on our devaluation of you. We may call you The Rash because you keep appearing everywhere when we do not want to see you. We may call you The Pirate because you have small breasts, e.g. a sunken chest. We may label you as The Thorn because you are a pain in our side or we may just go for It as regular readers will know from my treatment of Lesley.
  1. We will also insist that you use a pet name for us but we will choose it. Nobody normal chooses their nickname and then tells people to use it. Nicknames and pet names evolve from characteristics witnessed by those around the recipient of the name. The fact that we appear and tell you to call us “Goldenballs” is evidence of our sense of entitlement and grandiosity.

The use of a pet name by our kind is never to be regarded as pleasant and complimentary. It is a device for demeaning you, upsetting you and exerting our control over you, in the same way that one keeps a pet animal, that is how you are regarded as we keep you in one of our gilded cages.

55 thoughts on “Pet

  1. Joa says:

    As for the flip side:

    As long as I say name or nickname, it’s fine. The worst thing is when I address a man close to me: “Human!”.

    Then I know, that the end of this relationship is near.

    I was so sad, when I said this to N2 for the first time (years ago and recently while hoovering). I knew, it might take a few more weeks, a few more months, but he is already “deleted”. I tried to go back to what was, but it is impossible.

    “Human”. Yes, this term means the end of a relationship with me.

  2. Asp Emp says:

    Laughing (partial comment on this thread) “just cream for brains”.

    1. Rebecca says:

      Asp Emp,

      My recent narcissist would call me, Sweetie. How original….most friends at work, total strangers and customers call me Sweetie, so I never thought anything of him calling me Sweetie, except maybe he’s not very imaginative. The names I called him though…….bonehead, octopus, Fabio, Mr. Peacock, Little 🐓, 🦬💩er, Rocks for brains, Touchy feely…..etc

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Rebecca, laughing at your list of “pet” names – I supposed you used them as to the moment of such appropriateness? You have reminded me of a nick-name that we used at work (a colleague and I used, for a certain ‘girl’ when I was in my mid 20s) – it was not a nice one either LOL. We’d say it out loud and no-one ‘cottoned’ on LOL. I had 3 names when I was at school (two used be friends, the one used by a certain ‘friendship’ that did not develop into anything more). I liked your ‘list’ 🙂

        1. Rebecca says:

          Asp Emp,
          Thanks. No, I would just pick one,whichever one I felt like using at the moment. Rocks for brains was a favorite because I was so disappointed in his intelligence level after he acted so smart and everyone else was just so dumb to him. Yeah, very disappointing and hope he never comes back.

          1. Rebecca says:

            You said, I threatened his control…Good, I’d like to threaten it again, watch him run again….poor lower mid range somatic baby…probably time for his bottle

  3. Pingback: We See You An An Object ⋆ NarcTopia
  4. 1jaded1 says:

    What would you call me?

    1. NarcAngel says:

      Probably sweets during seduction but chocolate during devaluation now that he knows you hate it lol.
      I think they have the same name for all of us: MINE.

      1. Made me think of the seagulls from Finding Nemo.

      2. cadavera says:

        @NarcAngel, I just went hot, then cold. During intimate moments, he says, “You are MINE. Do you hear me?” Aaaaaaagggghhhhh!

      3. 1jaded1 says:

        So weird, Narc Angel. This pops up in my inbox May 15, 2021.

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Very strange. It is however a chance to say hello and that I hope that you are well, so I’m glad of it.

        2. cadavera says:

          @1jaded1 What’s the significance of the date, if you don’t mind me asking? So glad I saw this post because I’ve been trying to recall when some other things occurred and all I knew was they happened right around this time too. I just didn’t know the date and now I do.

          1. 1jaded1 says:

            Hey Cadavera. May is a crappy month in general. I lost someone in May and the days are divided into before and after.

            Now that I think about it, your comment was probably what landed in my inbox as you were addressing Narc Angel, four years and two months to the date after posting with her. It was strange. I think I found this site in May, too. Could be wrong.

            I don’t come around much, anymore. Can’t tell if that is good or bad. HG taught me tons, so that part is good. I also learned a ton from Narc Angel.

            Take Care, Cadavera.

  5. ha ha….oh yes, indeed; the pet names.

  6. Claudia 🌺 says:

    I called the Somatic Narcissist “Twinkie”; he looked yummy and sweet on the outside, but no substance on the inside, (just cream for brains).

  7. Wooww the play on Boss! I was “Tight Fit” 😂😤 from a movie he introduced me to 🙄 .. then “Baby” (which went to any and everyone I learned) .. occasionally “Super Woman” .. then as I was pregnant and after my first big escape I became “The Monster” when he would be on the way to bring me something to eat it was referred to as “I gotta go feed the Monster” It was probably meant to be hurtful but being the person I am I always loved Monster the best loll as that meant he knew I was Not the easy target anymore 😂😂😜 What say you, HG?!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      He may well have been referring to himself.

      1. You know what.. Knowing what I know now it very well could have been! I’m already touchy feely and I am a VERY emotional pregnant woman lol then the baby got to where she kicked whenever she heard his voice we were just the ultimate fuel even after she got here… My lightbulb went off when I saw your comment lol you need to teach a college course you have made soooo much of the nonsense I’ve been through make sense 🤗🤗

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome.

        2. Joa says:

          17 years ago.
          He came from time to time, until was 6 months pregnant.
          The only time… the only time, he wanted to touch my stomach, when our daughter was kicking. I didn’t let him. I have regretted it for years. I could survive it. At least this substitute…

          Pain. Enormous pain.
          Pain. Pain. Pain.

          He only came back a few days after giving birth. He came back to inflict even more pain.

          This pain tied me with him mentally for years. Even though these were years without contact.


          He couldn’t look at the my pregnancy belly.

          Long time ago. I sent him a picture. The reaction was crazy. Like a cross and garlic for a vampire. Complete disappearance for more than 3 months.

          A recent hoover, 15 years after giving birth. He allowed to show himself pictures of his daughter, when she was little. Among them, my one picture with my pregnance belly.

          The reaction was crazy again. Lunatic. Like a wounded wolf.

          I probably understand…


          I can heal the wounds of all horrible and bad things. Without much difficulty. Little scars.

          But IT still hurts. This wound cannot heal.

          So, I’m still in it.

          1. Truthseeker6157 says:


            That must have been so upsetting for you. If it was me, before understanding anything of narcissism, I would likely have thought that my changing shape repulsed him so that he couldn’t look at me. I didn’t enjoy my changing shape myself. There isn’t one photo of me pregnant, it wasn’t something I wanted to draw attention to. This considered, it’s likely I would have had my shape as the first explanation for his behaviour.

            I think the reality is, it’s the absolute refusal by the narcissist to be held accountable. A baby would represent responsibility, there would be expectation from family and from friends as to what his behaviour should be. I think it’s likely he rejected everything to do with the growing baby on that basis. Nothing to do with you, nothing to do with how you looked, nothing to do with your beautiful daughter. All to do with an instinctive refusal to be held accountable and an inability to take any responsibility for that little life. The absence of emotional empathy will have facilitated him seeing your little girl once she was born and feeling absolutely nothing for her. Nothing to keep him there, easy to walk away. That’s absolutely inconceivable to us. We just can’t grasp or fully believe that there’s nothing there. Not in that context, not where children are concerned.

            The empath would turn inwards I think. Believe it was them somehow not measuring up, not good enough to stay around for. The added insult of seeing that little person they care most for in the whole world being rejected and left behind like a sweater in a wardrobe. That’s what objectification is. That’s the reality of what it means. It was no harder for him to leave his baby than it would be to leave his sweater behind.

            It’s so difficult for us to comprehend. We know we are treated as objects but it’s hard to fully understand how that looks. I think it looks like your story.

            Not a single solitary thing that you could have done to change it Joa.


          2. Joa says:

            TS, I’m not vain about looks. I admire the natural beauty of men and women. There are people, I can’t take my eyes off of. It’s a beauty, that isn’t made of tattooed eyebrows and immaculate dressing. The world’s tendencies in this area, and especially of women who objectify themselves, only… disappoint me.


            When I was pregnant, I didn’t think that way. I believe, that a pregnant woman’s body is beautiful and nothing can change it. I was very proud and happy. I was beaming like a Star. I loved my child with great love, I waited for her, talked to her and wrote to her. It was an unforgettable time. Great happiness and love. I felt beautiful, sexy, I felt a lot of power and I wanted to pass it on to the whole world.

            At the same time, I was very unhappy, because I was worried about him. His attacks in me have been and are irrelevant to me. I felt a great pain, that he didn’t feel it. I excused him, that I was wearing she, so I felt it, so maybe he would love she only when he saw she.

            My sister says, that she started to love every child only after giving birth.

            I fell in love, when I found out that she is inside me. I was beaming a smile and crying like crazy at the same time. I was laughing, because I was happy. I was crying, because I felt that he couldn’t bear it. I waited patiently and showed what I felt, hoping that he would join me. He understood. But he couldn’t.

            When he wanted to touch my belly, I refused to let him. It was a good moment between us. We were both calm, we were mentally close to each other. He said: “You want? I will do it for you”. I did not want. I would only allow and be happy, if he wanted to do it FOR HIMSELF. If it was HE WANTED.

            When he first saw her, he stood motionless against the wall for 3 hours. Completely wordless. He was looking at us. Pale and scared. I loved him so much, then and wanted to hug him. I wanted, him to join us without fear.

            He later got used to she. Sometimes he took care of she and sometimes he was playing with she. But he never loved she. It was a beautiful time, as she laughed to him and looked at him with sparks in her blue eyes. I watched them with such calm and gratitude. I loved them both so much at these times. I would take it all on myself, I would bear every burden, if he were for her at least that way. I am still able to do this. If he wanted to give her a little bit of luck, I would take every punishment and punch and I not even squeak.

            I didn’t need his responsibility. I took it all on myself. And it didn’t bother me. All that was needed was… his love.

            And when I realized that it would not work – at least his pretended decency.

            He tried for a moment. In this order: “For mom.” “For the little brownie” (that was what he called our daughter). “For you” (for me). He never did it FOR HIMSELF. He had never felt such a need, so it was going to give me terrible pain.

            He decided to let go and walk away. OK. Let it be that way.
            I know, as strange as it sounds, that in part, he did it for her too. I’ve always felt it. I wasn’t the only one who protected her, right?


            The problem with me is that the missiles targeting me are too weak and short-term. Shoot at me, take it easy, I’ll hold on, I’ll always get up.
            Shoot what I love. Then you will hit the target ☹

            And he knows it. And he realizes it, even though sometimes he is somehow curious about his daughter.

            And here you are right TS. The rejection of our daughter, when I was pregnant, and later when she was over a year old, mentally knocked me off my feet. Fortunately, this cheerful, little Spark, now such a nasty teenager, always gave me strength 😊

            It was he who created this “Weapon”. I remember, being he furious with himself for not holding back. And then, he redirected that rage to me for not prevent it.

            However, this “Weapon” turned out to be double-edged, right?

            Thank you anyway. Nobody gave me so much happiness and so much misfortune at the same time, as he did. He will always be in my heart. Even when I am angry or despise him. It passes quickly. I can’t and don’t want to freeze my heart, even in this one segment.

            I wish he could FEEL. Not for myself. Not even for our baby anymore. FOR HIM.

            I missed him, now. But it will pass me soon.


            This is the only thing, I can’t laugh at.


            Today I am very sad for another reason.

            PUTIN VON. Someone shoot this man, please.

          3. Truthseeker6157 says:


            I’m so sorry I didn’t see this comment until yesterday. I would never leave a comment like this unanswered. It’s heartbreaking in its honesty, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.

            I read this part of your story and it moved me to tears. I could see the hospital room, I could see narcissus playing with his daughter as you looked on. I very much see how you are thinking about these past events, I feel very drawn in to your thinking, I would ask myself the same questions.

            What strikes me most is your level of acceptance. It’s really beautiful to read, it’s truly heartbreaking to read too. You really tried to accommodate this man, there were no demands placed on him, you couldn’t have done any more to support and accept him. The emotion just isn’t in him. He just is incapable of offering the only thing you needed.

            When I imagine him standing silent in the hospital room, my instinctive thought would be similar to yours. He didn’t know how to be a part of it. He wanted to be there for you because that is what you wanted, but he couldn’t feel what he was supposed to feel. He did appear to try for you, he appeared more curious about your daughter than anything else I think. Like you I really want to see your narcissus like this. I also want to think that he left because he knew that he couldn’t love either of you as you deserved, so leaving was the best thing he could do for you both. This is how I feel when I read what you described.

            Then I’m forced to use what I’ve learned here and place his actions in the context of what I’ve been taught and know to be true.

            As he stood in the hospital room and watched you with his baby daughter, he felt envy. Your attention was on her and not on him. His silence wasn’t an internal battle on his part, it was a present silent treatment designed to bring you under control and to draw fuel from your response. The want in your eyes, the sadness in your eyes, the love and the reaching out to him all represented fuel and demonstrated you were under control. I hate that I believe this to be the case, but I do believe this is the case.

            I would like to think that somewhere buried deep within your narcissus there was a flicker of him wanting to do the right thing. That he left because he knew he would hurt and harm you both. I would suspect the same if I were you. We really want there to be some good in there somewhere, even after all the poor behaviour, we want to think that they did just one honourable thing.

            He did create a ‘weapon’. You cannot get in between a mother’s love for her child. It overrules everything and everyone else. What we will accept for ourselves we would not even contemplate accepting for our children. He will have recognised that. The attention that once had been directed solely towards him now would have to be shared. He left most probably because he was not receiving fuel that was as potent or in high enough quantities. We can’t split ourselves in two. Something has to give when we have children. The problem is the narcissist won’t give emotionally at all.

            He did the right thing by default. My narcissist helped me through a difficult time, also by default. This part is real and true. It’s the motives behind the behaviours that we misinterpret. We misinterpret because we are overflowing with empathy and we interpret within this empathic context. We place our meaning on their actions, when really, there is no meaning other than fuel and control.

            I see me in you. The way you look at things, the desire and strength to fight for her and for you, the absolute commitment to make it work, to find a way. Our thoughts are achingly similar. I wish we could change it too Joa. I wish we could make them understand, teach them to feel, open their eyes to the full depth of what they are missing. I want them to want it too, but, they just can’t see past the Prime Aims. Not consciously, narcissus might well believe that he did what was best for you by leaving, but the Prime Aims are what truly drove him to do it.

            I understand what you mean about not wanting to freeze your heart. You do have those precious memories, you do have your beautiful daughter as testimony to that relationship. Pour all of your love into her. You can love him best through your daughter, by being everything you are and will be as her mum. Your daughter does have empathy, she can feel, pouring your energy and emotion into the bottomless pit that is the narcissist, will never enable him to feel, it will never change the outcome.

            Putin, will not stop until he is stopped. I firmly believe that to be the case. I hope someone stops him soon.

            Thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts with me Joa. They are beautiful to read. My cold hard logic feels ugly by comparison, but my wish is only to be honest and share with you what I have learnt here, because I truly believe that this is the only way you will make peace with your past and find happiness in your future.


          4. Joa says:

            Catching up.

            TS, I don’t think about it often. Human is most embedded in the present. I only come back sometimes – because it was so wonderfully intense (irrelevant whether it was happiness or pain).

            I am glad, that I gained a different perspective of understanding. I confirmed my feelings and even deepened it. The merit of HG.

            Acceptance – indeed, I have a high level of acceptance, when it comes to other people.
            A month ago, my friend cheated on her husband (once again and with another man). Just like that, for sport, intrigue and self-esteem. For many years, she kept me at a distance from these matters. This time, she let more information. I had to cut myself off from her for a while, she disgusted me so much. It was so selfish, without any feeling, without considering the consequences for her family, her children, her work. But, as always, I’ll accept it. Although I do not understand and cannot understand. This sex didn’t even give her pleasure.


            N2 – standing against the wall in the hospital, pale as a corpse and scared – I think he was calculating. Can he keep this farce? How will it bring him multi-faceted benefits and from which people? Can… he trust me? Is it worth betting on me?
            Subconsciously, of course.

            He did try, I tried too, but it soon turned out, that the bubble was unsustainable. I could accept the lack of love for me, but I did not accept the lack of love for our child.

            I’m afraid, he left because he just started to get bored (we used to live more intensely and colorfully before). He left, because he thought he could do better, because the world was open to him. He left, because he let me down. He left, because I let him down.

            “Your charm is broken” – he said – “And I’m radiant again” (he declared, implying that he was already with someone else).
            I used these words, when he came back years later. I used every sentence, that was etched in my memories and burned my mind for many years. I waited for the right moment and said each of these sentences to him – in a slightly different context and situation, but in such a way, that he would feel a burning smell at least for a moment.
            I gave away everything I got. Yes, I enjoyed it.


            Sometimes, it feels like both N1 and N2 are coming back for their wounds. They come back for some strange cleansing. They recreate the past. Believe me TS, I’m not good for them. They bore me, I yawn, I treat them like idle boys, I mock. Only sometimes I allow myself to open up, like I used to.
            With N1, it has only happened once in 20 years hoovering me (he has credibly pretended to be dying – it is probably a matter of time, to I “punish” him by embarrassment; I remind myself not to be cruel; but the instinct is still very strong, I wait for him to get close).
            N2 is much more effective at opening me up, fuel was poured many times, but he had to put in a lot of effort. Currently, he is not interested. 😊 We have a rare contact, almost fuel-free, I emit drops of mediocre quality. It irritated and bored him. He changed the environment, so now he has a lot of new challenges. Sometimes he gives me a lick of a substitute, in the form of a picture 😊 Depending on the mood, I send dry assessments, laconic summaries, sometimes a bit of enthusiasm for a change and examination of the situation, sometimes nothing. A strange game that translates into paying child support (he has not paid 13 years at all, now he has been paying for almost 2 years). Overall, I understand this, as the minimum payments for keeping me with minimal effort, but on standby. Kindness and sympathy are my and his motto, ha ha ha 😊


            Once upon a time – there was one occasion, where he had withdrawn so clearly, that it makes me think that he was scared of himself and what he might do. And it was about our child. He had no qualms about me. I don’t think it was “good” that caused him, but just that he got scared.

            There is one more thing. In fact, I don’t know if it was he who left or if it was me who left. The official version is – he left – because he only accepts this version. Only this version gives him “pleasure”. I hold this version up.

            For years I have been wondering, who really gave the first spark? Who was the first, to definitively cancel whom? I feel that it was me ☹ I wanted to, I wanted very much… but I couldn’t. He tried… but couldn’t.

            My daughter – you are right. I love her so much. My life, my time, my energy, my laugh, my money, my voice, my gaze, my tenderness. Everything is for her. But… my thoughts and my pleasure are still with him. Yes… I couldn’t to give her my thoughts… Thoughts, that he had easy access to. As if a part of me was blocked to her. I know, she can feel it. He hates, when I’m talking about him.

          5. Joa says:

            At the end it was supposed to be: “She hates, when I talk about him.” Sorry, I was in a hurry and I filtered the second half of the translation with the automatic, there will probably be more errors.

  8. Wow. How insulting that you could even forget someone’s name. Lol. When I was married many years ago, my husband hated if I called him by his name and said it made him feel funny and please don’t do it. He was a narcissist but I didn’t realize it then. He never used my name but called me Honey or Little Mama, which he knew I hated. My last guy called me Thee. It rhymes with my name. I wonder if it’s an insult.

  9. Cory "babe" 😊 says:

    This is SPOT ON.

  10. ava101 says:

    “Mein Herr und Gebieter”, haha, wie passend. Es freut mich, jemanden zu treffen, der auch auf Deutsch seine Stimme erhebt und dann noch sogar fast aus meiner Heimat. 🙂

    1. ava101 says:

      …. and the translation: “my master and commander”, haha, how fitting. I’m happy to meet someone who is speaking up in German as well, and almost from my home region, too. 🙂

      1. Ja ich erhebe meine Stimme in diesem wundervollen Forum in dem auch (Selbst)-Ironie und intelligenter Humor ihren Platz haben. Schön jemanden aus Deutschland zu treffen. Aber ich liebe die englische Sprache und den speziell britischen Stil von H G Tudor.
        Der Pluralis Majestatis begeistert mich als Stilmittel seines Schreibens!

      2. ava101 says:

        I meant you do it in Germany, which is very important. 🙂

      3. Aha! Jetzt verstehe ich … 😏
        Das Thema wird in Deutschland viel schüchterner diskutiert.
        Und ein deutschsprachiger Elitär-Narzisst vom Niveau HG Tudors wird wohl noch lange gesucht werden müssen.

        Ah! Now I unterstand … 😏
        In Germany the subject is discussed with great shyness.
        And a germanspeaking Elite Narc ranging with the qualities of HG Tudor still has to be found.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You need to help me improve on my school boy German then.

  11. Babe, My Angel, Sweetie, My Sex-Goddess in honeymoon periods.

    Dirty Slut, Whore, Paranoid, during devaluation.

    He called me Babe from the first Moment onwards. It was his way of putting me under arrest.

    But I have to admit, I loved it. I longed to be called Babe again after times of devaluation.

    After more than one year of being together he mentioned my first name for the first time. I was astonished and delighted that he knew it after all.

    I used to call him “Gebieter” which is so much as Master in English.

    Thank you very much again HG Tudor for this important article.
    Narcissistic Pet Names are used as weapons to extinguish ones personalities….

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome Ursula.

    2. Safah says:

      My Narc would refer to me as 38 in reference to my bottom. In France a size 38 is a UK size 10. Other pet names were NEG (naughty English girl) and ma lapine. My narc is thankfully no longer my narc. He gave himself the moniker of 🐿 – I’ll leave you lovely people to imagine why.

  12. Matilda says:

    ‘Boss’ – not very classy of you, I have to say! Does anyone in your coterie actually show some backbone, and not laugh about that?

    What pet names were you given during the honeymoon period, and at the breakup?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      They find it amusing.

      1. Matilda says:

        Spineless, all of them.

      2. Sunshine says:

        They sound like a bunch of block-head misogynists.

      3. Greeneyedchick666 says:

        I think its hilarious.

      4. NarcAngel says:

        B.O.S.S Haha Still makes me laugh.

  13. DragonKrae says:

    This was one of the first red flags that caught my attention with my narc. I have a first name that I’ve never been called even by my parents as I’ve always been called a well known nickname unless by telemarketers or doctors offices. Say my name was Melissa but I always went by Missy. Something to that extent. My narc found out my “real name” and then made sure he was the FIRST one to call me that full name all the time and then anyone I met through him called me that name too even though he knew I hated that name and felt it didn’t fit me. My parents thought it was sweet because it was the beautiful name they picked for me. Puke. No thank you.

  14. Carla says:

    He never gave me a “pet name”, oddly. He told me that he preferred to call me by my own name because the “pet names” are so overused and devoid of meaning.

  15. Flickatina says:

    I loathe pet names! They make me cringe.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Oh come now Snufflekins don’t be like that.

      1. Flickatina says:

        My god! Does the evil never end 😮😮

      2. Asp Emp says:

        Hilarious, HG!

      3. Rebecca says:

        Lol HG, I was thinking Lemon cake or Cuddle bear puddin pop lol

  16. dawninggrace says:

    Not only for narcs
    These days X is Voldemort (“a raging psychopath, devoid of the normal human responses to other people’s suffering” JK Rowling)

    1. Mona says:

      Did you read about his family? JK Rowling wrote a little bit about his family. I do believe, that she met a psychopath in her real life. I do not think, it was only fiction.

      1. dawninggrace says:

        No, I got the quote from Rowling on Wiki and it reminded me of X (except for “self hating” which I don’t believe) .

        Not the least bit surprised that the character is based on her experience- perhaps with an intimate partner?

    2. Carla says:

      I refer to the narcissist the same way

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