To Sin Is To Win

to-sin-is-to-win

Winning is everything to me. I have to win. This applies to every facet of my life. You will be aware of not only my desire to win but the fact that I always come up smelling of roses. I know you find this particularly unfair as this is something that has been hurled in my direction on several occasions,

“You just walk away from the carnage you create without so much as a scratch.”

“You carry on as if nothing has happened without a care about what you have done.”

“How is it that someone as nasty as you just gets to sail through life untouched?”

“You cause so much misery yet you always land on your feet.”

I am able to fire the useless employee without worrying about how that will impact on his or her life. I do know that this will improve productivity. The weak link has been expunged and the ruthlessness by which it is executed causes those still in employment to work harder. Result? It’s a win. I renege on financial arrangements which leave your position in tatters and mine intact. I use my charm and plethora of excuses to always avoid having to pay for dinner, for an evening out or a holiday. Consequently you carry the burden of our entertainment whilst my bank balance grows. Amazingly, you are aware that I out earn you but the application of my manipulative techniques results in you happily forking out for that weekend away, again. You do it because I have been so loving and charming to you. You do it because I have been so brutal to you yet you still want to please me. Whichever stance I adopt, seduction or devaluation, I secure the desired result. The win.

My lack of conscience and legendary capacity to tell lies sees me grind you into submission during any discussion about financial settlements so that you are left exhausted and just wanting an end to it all. Accordingly, you agree to a far weaker position than that which you might be entitled to. I threaten unfounded complaints to ensure I gain an upgrade, free vouchers or a better outcome for me. I have no qualms about fabricating such a position in order to secure the result I want. It’s another win.

The skill by which I control friendships sees me lob the metaphorical hand grenade into a friendship group and I will stroll away as it detonates behind me causing carnage. I watch from the side lines as friend turns on friend, based on the whispered smear campaign I have created for my own amusement. This is another win as I marvel at my power over people. Nobody has the presence of mind to direct their anger towards me. Oh no, I am too clever to be sucked into that and I can stand and observe the bitter recriminations all stemming from my behaviour. I will always move on to a new relationship without a backwards glance, my smile radiating from every picture and posting that I can muster. I leave you in abject misery as you watch dumbfounded as I find someone new in a matter of days (or more often I already have them lined up). You are staggered as to how I can do this so easily after my proclamations of undying love towards you. How can it be right that you, the one who gave everything and always behaved so properly is left distraught, confused and bereft whilst I waltz around town without a care in the world? Why am I never upset or miserable?  It seems unjust and unfair. Why do I always seem to win? Why do I get the cream, win the main prize and have the golden ticket? It is because of how I am designed. I am designed to win. That is my sole focus. By winning I gain admiration and power which gives me fuel. You know how I need that fuel and therefore to secure it I have to win. Unlike you, I have been created with the skill sets that allow me to behave without integrity, to function without a conscience and to sail through life untouched by moral concerns. Normal people are upset and troubled by my machinations, but I am not hampered by such concerns. They do not affect me. I have been fashioned to always secure the win because without it I cannot survive. That is why I have to win and that is why I always win. There is no hope for any other outcome. By the time you and others have worked out that I have been the architect of the chaos and destruction that surrounds you I am long gone. I have left town and ridden off into the sunset in search of my next victory, having conquered you before any consequences of defeat can come looking for me,

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29 thoughts on “To Sin Is To Win”

  1. When I was young, I used to grab the board game and throw it across the room when I lost. I grew out of this habit during adolescence, realising it is not about winning or losing, it is about enjoying the game!

    You must always win because your *self-worth* is dependent on it!! Sure, it still is not amusing to lose 🙂 , but I am a fair loser now. I can acknowledge defeat. Because I do not define my worth as a person by my successes or failures.

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  2. I am not claiming any particular knowledge of whether there is or isn’t an afterlife, but if there is and your actions fail to secure you a place in Heaven how confident are you that you can outwit The Devil given your encyclopedic knowledge of evil?

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  3. Lol you’re so wicked that it makes me laugh. Thank you for this charming depiction of what it’s like from your end. I actually envy the sociopathic mind set that can allow for such disregard, which is turns allows for such easy decision making. Have you ever played “angel’s advocate” and tried your hand and creating good in the world with the same skill set, just to see what you could do? 😉

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  4. you may often get what you want, dear HG, but it will always deny you the one thing you want most — to extinguish The Creature.

    is that a fair conclusion?

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  5. Yes and when you actually loose, you ignore and deny it. All,what counts, is your fantasy about life.The depression is inside of you, the truth lurks through the fantasy. I have seen that. If you come near reality, it becomes dangerous for you. The successes you have were (very often, not in all cases) stolen by other people. Money you generously spend to make new friends, stolen from your old friends, the power you have, made by lies and manipulations. A life full of lies and manipulations. Yes, you talk about the truth in every second topic. You tell the truth about the life of a psychopath. It is no sin to win, but if you do it with doping at the Olympic games, your medals received are not worth a halfpenny. I just see you on top of the stairs at the Olympic games, Nr. one of course and then I see your collapse, when you hear, you are disqualified afterwards, your stumbling, your desperate lying, your fight for the right words, your excuses, your try to put the blame onto your doctors, the collapse of your financial situation, the.shameful looking away of former friends, the void in your eyes . You are in the spotlight of the boulevard press. A lot of negative fuel. The last one.
    And then – silence.
    No memorial for you.
    That is what happens to people who want to win at all costs.

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  6. Let’s say that you are as good as you say you are at mystifying the truth for your own gain, I suppose someone as good as you doesn’t take into consideration divine justice. What if you are wrong about that? What if there is a hell and you are set to walk right into it? Aren’t you afraid of God? Please don’t say that you are God….I’ll take that as a failure to articulate an answer.

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      1. I thought you believed in God, Mr. Tudor. I really did. I thought that, despite everything, you believed in God. All Good Things Come from our Lord. True, I am the worst sinner ever, but I believe in God wholly. And, I am always trying to better myself, though it’s a process of great magnitude.

        I think that, deep down, you know that God exists, but you deny Him becuz you know what you do is wrong. You might not have a conscience, but ‘knowing’ is enough for you to have no excuse not to stop hurting others.

        I do not mean to judge you, Mr. T, but I am surprised because I thought you believed in God. I wish you did. I know you probably will be angry at me for saying this, but God does love you. We live in a fallen world, and He is not the reason why bad things happen. Whenever I look up to Him, He answers me and makes it better for me. I can even detail in my growing-up ages where he made it better for me, and how I am grateful to Him, more than I can describe adequately, right here. He loves you, Mr. Tudor, and I love you, too- I am not talking about romantically, or lustfully, but I love you with my heart towards your deeply buried soul.

        Please do not be angry.

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      1. It is a pointless discussion – nobody of you can back up your arguments. Those who believe in God and those who do not. It is like quantum mechanics, nobody gets it. Also majority of narcs are either atheist or agnostic. So how on earth HG could be religious and same time emotionally murder and abuse his partners? Common, this is rediculous idea. HG, do you believe in evil demons? I think one of those possessed you long time ago. Haha.

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  7. Is your outlook of no God common among your kind? What if a narcissist is raised to go to church by a narc mother and she makes her children stand around the piano and sing hymns? How does he reconcile treating people badly while being in service for God with his musical talents? I can’t get it.

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  8. HG….Hey, Hi…inquiring again…. what happens/will happen to you post mortem? Your opinion of after death.. Anything?

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      1. in regard to your answer…. then you believe the physics law of conservation of energy does not apply to you? after all, humans (and all living/non living organisms) are manifestations of energy..

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  9. The occasion with my experience was that she was a church person. At some point of her life she told me that “something” started visiting her during her noontime sleep, a lustful man who wanted her sexually. She thought it was the devil and that happened 15 years ago. After she started confession she told me it dissappeared. Until few months ago during our relationship… The creature visited her again one night while sleeping alone at night with her daughter. I tried to be as calm as I could asking her if maybe a child abuse had taken place during her childhood and that memory has been suppressed as a false demon attack. She has told me that she can’t remember but that a psychologist had asked her the same thing once. For sure, that person was treated badly from her mother until 16, physical abuse and lack of love as she already told me. It is a sad story….

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