Every Victim Is Lying


I must adopt the standpoint that every one of my victims is lying. There is no hope for me to be any different. You level accusations at me and I know you are lying because the comments make no sense to me. I gave you a fabulous and perfect love and you accepted that. You willingly entered into a union with me and with that you received my largesse and favour. You did not demur or hesitate. Instead, you embraced everything wonderful about what I gave you. Be it the expensive gifts, eloquent expressions of my love or the seemingly never-ending array of glamorous occasions to attend, you took them all. Do you have any idea how much energy I channelled into doing this for you? The repeated text messages, the “sudden appearances” which were in fact carefully crafted and organised, the many telephone calls that I made to you at all different times? All of that took a considerable effort on my part. Yet now, when I am tired and I lose my temper you accuse me of not caring. How can I not care? I am with you am I not? Have you forgotten everything that I ever did for you? It seems to me that you have. What was that vow you said with such enthusiasm, for better and for worse? You have had the better (in fact you received the best) and now it is time for some of the worse, yet you will not tolerate that will you? No, it is clear that you lied. You lied when we got married because now you are reneging on that vow. How do you think that makes me feel? Is it any surprise that I am angry with you when you question me since you have no standing to do so?

You accuse me of not listening. That is another lie. What is there for me to hear? You trot out the same old allegations which are unfounded. At times I cannot discern what you are actually saying because you are so hysterical. How on earth can I listen to you when you behave like that? It is downright unreasonable. You go off and complain about me to your friends and family. That is charming. You are denigrating me in their eyes and that is uncalled for. Yes, I may do it about you, but that is with some justification I might add. You also said you would forsake all others, yet how many times have I caught you flirting with other men from your workplace? What about those pictures of you and your friends with those men you met in a bar which were posted on Facebook. You thought I would not see them didn’t you? Yes, I keep a careful eye on what your friends’ post as they are not to be trusted, leading you astray when you promised that you would do not. Is it any wonder I feel compelled to spend time with other people when you treat me like this?

You accepted everything wonderful that I gave you and now when it is time to give back and add some balance to the equation you seek to escape your responsibilities by accusing me of all manner of misdemeanours and malevolent behaviour. Your hypocrisy sticks in my craw. I know your game, I have you in my eye. You are seeking to deflect attention from your own wrongdoing by telling lies about me. Ha! I have you worked out missy, I always have and you are not as smart as me. You deliberately misunderstand what I say. You imply and insinuate when I have made myself clear. I will not be beaten by your mendacity, no I will not. I will stand strong and ensure that I reflect back on to you the lies you have told. I must do this to avoid your desire to crush and destroy my fragile self with your perfidious ways. I never knew you could be so evil.

65 thoughts on “Every Victim Is Lying

  1. Anne says:

    It’s perfect!! Lol, I’ve heard it in so many ways. Man, what a lucky girl I’ve been too be able to enjoy the kings company. How dare i talk too him, about him in such ways. No matter the infraction done to you, you deserved it! If you continue to act like this you will be punished, thats just what happens when you do something wrong! Lmao! Sorry, but ya almost got to admire the thinking. Wouldn’t life be grand. Think i may be on my way too being taught by the greatest teacher!

  2. mistynolan01 says:

    😊 I feel like I got a star from teacher!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You did.

      1. Mistynolan01 says:

        Thank you HG!

  3. mistynolan01 says:

    Apologies for that last post. (I know where I was going with it.) You didn’t deserve that, HG.

    I still have a lot of work to do on the BPD.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Quite alright.

      1. mistynolan01 says:

        You’re so forgiving HG.

        C ‘s post brought to mind people who have a condition which does not allow them to feel pain. However, I believe any sane person, upon seeing themselves bloodied, bruised, or scarred, even though they didn’t feel the pain, would cry “uncle!” at that point.

        So as usual, HG, you are correct. Everyone has a threshold. And you lack the empathy to stop before it’s crossed!

        1. HG Tudor says:


  4. mistynolan01 says:

    **HG thinking: So you like paein? Well missy(!), no enjoyment for you! It HAAS to huuurt to provide fuel for eaus.**

    HG responded:

    “I would keep going until the threshold is reached and breached.”

    You don’t get off that easily.

    What would that end up looking like, if there IS no threshold?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Everyone has a threshold.

      1. C★ says:

        I disagree… and could give examples

      2. superxena says:

        Hello HG!
        Would you say that you have a higher physical and /or psychological threshold than a no-narcissist? If it is so:
        1.Why do you think it is like that?
        2.Do you think this higher threshold differs among the three schools? Or is it more present in any particular school?

  5. Matilda says:

    “Do you have any idea how much energy I channelled into doing this for you?”

    Well, in all fairness, you can hardly blame *them* for *your* fakery, can you, HG? No one but yourself forces you!

    1. Mistynolan01 says:

      From HG’s books and other sources I’ve read, they do not force themselves or have any control
      over their personalities anymore than you or I do. I could become tainted and lose my empathy before they could become empathic. It’s how they’re wired.

      I think it’s a blessing that HG is supplying us with his real self, laid bare. It’s not that he is being kind. His help is as a result of a condition being met. No matter — he’s helped me tremendously with getting over my narc and I have the tools to spot and avoid them.

      My only thing now is: how do I get over HG? LOL! Thank all that is good and right with the world that I can only interact with him online!

      1. Mistynolan01 says:

        C – the post I left us in answer to your post. I get your anger. I hope I helped a little.

  6. HG, do u as a narcissist really believe in this or is it only to manipulate, blame etc. and deep inside u know it’s not true?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Are you asking me from the perspective of a greater or in respect of narcissists generally?

      1. A.R. says:

        I’d like to know the answer to both….please.

  7. Narc affair says:

    This sounds like the inner thoughts of a lesser or midrange. I think with all three classes they lovebomb so strongly at the beginning not just to seduce but to predecieve themselves that they gave “so much” to rid themselves of any blame when it ends. Yes you did give a lot..a lot of phony baloney. Most of it has been used on so many others and is not genuine altho the other two classes of narcs think themselves to be.
    Their perceptions are skewed as well bc the picture taken with men in it most probably was innocent. A narc being very deceptive would automatically think the same of others.
    The hysterics were from dealing with someone whose got a disorder thats impossible to work with.

    1. RecoveringNarcoholic says:

      Narc affair, I think you’re spot-on in your suggestion that for midrangers, part of the lovebombing is “predeceiving themselves.” Also agree that “a narc being very deceptive would automatically think the same of others.” Mine constantly accused me of flirting with other men, when all I was doing was trying to be pleasant to his friends — while he flirted with everything that had a pulse!

  8. A.R. says:

    Interestingly & sadly enough this is the speech that causes me to get hooked.
    I become confused as I don’t perceive myself as a hurtful person & at the same time I want to fix, reassure & soothe so that I find the approval & validation from the narcissist that I am not a hurtful person. What a crazy tornado that becomes!
    Also, I would like to point out HG, that you use the past tense in reference to your “perfect” love. If what narcs gave is what they continued to give, the potency of fuel would continue to be free flowing.
    It hurts us too when all of what we thought was real just stops.
    I am sad today that this is your reality & that you cannot change it.

  9. So yesterday I asked my N whether he feels sadness, joy, love, happiness and empathy, one by one. He said yes to all of them. Was he lying?

    1. mistynolan01 says:

      You must be brand new to HG. I hope he answers soon. 😇

      1. HG Tudor says:

        She isn’t.

      2. I’m still new to HG. It feels as if I just met him..

    2. mistynolan01 says:

      After reading both your replies I have to ask: are you HG’s IPPS?

      If not, y’all have your own inside jokes going on.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        She’s not although she wishes she was.

        There’s no inside joke.

  10. superxena says:

    I recognise so much of my own experience in this article with my ex Greater..
    Now when I look in retrospective I think ( at least the ones who know who they are) that they enter a new relationship with a new IPPS not thinking (as it has been stated) that this time “she” is the one but they enter into a new relationship thinking:
    “how long is this going to last?” since they think /feel that invariably it will end/crash.
    I personally see this as self sabotage. Why then investing so much time,energy in constructing something false for themselves?
    Where is that “paranoia” and that negative mind set coming from?

    Now that I look in retrospective my ex was actually observing and detecting every single word,action from me that could be the slightest little sign of me leaving him or of being aware of his façade..his jealousy, his control,..now I know he knew/felt it was just a question of time for it to end and he applied different manipulative strategies to avoid for the relationship to end..or his facade to be revealed.

    HG: where is this paranoia and negative mind set coming from? Is it t
    the void you “feel”that forces you to act like that? Don’t you feel you have a true inner self that is worth to be loved more than this façade?

  11. Adele says:

    Right where I am at present. I’ve been told to never contact the sociopathic bastard again and that I’m a vile woman with serious issues. Unbelievable after the 3.5 years of hell I’ve lived through

  12. SVR says:

    I did not want to crush him, quite the opposite actually. I wanted to help him, but that’s the empath in me. I don’t believe I am evil. I have never experienced hate despite all of this unfolding.
    Do you really think that? Well “your world” as you call it is differenthe to mine, Thank FUCK for that. I would hate to be as disordered as you.

  13. mistynolan01 says:

    “Kitty has claws” — the better to scratch narc’s eyes out! I really, really hate that line.

    1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:

      Misty- I have a similar reaction; however… it kinda turns me on lol.

      I think is that a dare or a double dare?

      1. Mistynolan01 says:

        Dr. Quinzel — LOL! Whether it’s a dare or a double dare — I’ll take it! And even though the line itself doesn’t turn me on, it can be the catalyst that gets my blood boiling and sexy things have been known to result once that happens! 😽

      2. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:


        As long as you benefit in the end lol

        At least some narcs are good for something …. 😜

        1. Mistynolan01 says:

          I don’t think so; in the end they seem to win most of the time. The creator of this blog is the ONLY narc that I consider “good” for something and I’m sure that’s because there’s no proximity (and even tho it’s not coming from his icy heart! 🤣)

  14. No I’m not. *slaps her own ass to put out flames* those were my “good” panties too dammit!

    1. C★ says:


  15. mistynolan01 says:

    Sounds soooo convincing, HG!

    LIES! If only it were true that we were the bad guys,because we’d want to make it right, unlike your kind who revel in hurting primary sources.

    I just have to say: You’re very, very seductive, and very, cocksure in your seductiveness as you go about seducing the easily seduced ladies that you systematically seduce. (Did I say you’re seductive?)

    Almost irresistible … almost!

    I’ve been reading Tudor books and now I know better than to fall for seductive narcs I may encounter … don’t look into the light! RUN!

  16. B says:

    Yes, I lied. So what are you going to do about it now?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Punish you.

      1. C★ says:

        but what if we enjoy “punishment” and have a high threshold?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Cross the threshold.

          1. C★ says:


          2. HG Tudor says:

            Keep pressing.

          3. Ms brown says:

            that is an evasive answer, HG… I am serious, how would you cross that thresh hold with someone that has a high tolerance and enjoys pain? i do have reason for asking this… THX

          4. HG Tudor says:

            I have answered. I would increase the pressure on them through the application of the relevant manipulation. I would keep going until the threshold has been reached and breached.

          5. C★ says:

            thank you

          6. superxena says:

            Hello MS Brown!
            Excuse me if I step in here, but I think what HG refers to are the two key ingredients that create the fuel. The proximity of source is depending on if it is a remote stranger, inner or outer circle friend,intimate partner etc. Each has a point of value. The form of delivery refers to different “emotional” responses from the source. Each having as well a point value. When you convine the two gives a ” fuel value” . That is how the potency/intensity of the fuel is valued. You can find all this explanation on the book “Fuel” which I strongly recommend. Understanding the whole concept of Fuel is the key for understanding how they function.
            I hope I am right HG…

          7. HG Tudor says:

            Absolutely correct.

          8. superxena says:

            Thank you HG!

          9. C★ says:

            To Clarify…. I wasn’t referring to a source/appliance. I was referring to a statement HG made on live Q & A, that he HAD KILLED someone and it involved a GUN…

          10. HG Tudor says:

            But I am. You asked me how it felt with regards to the fuel and I explained that this is dependent on the method of delivery and the proximity of supply which SuperXena correctly understood and explained. Those elements are different with how the disincentivisaiton was executed.

          11. Ms brown says:

            hmmmmm. I do not understand your use of the word “disincentivization” in that context….

          12. HG Tudor says:

            When someone is killed they are disincentivized rather swiftly.

          13. Ms brown says:

            intersting verbiage…. thank you

          14. Mistynolan01 says:

            But he’s spoken on that and has said that he did the world a favor, hence why he is not incarcerated. At least that’s my guess as to why he’s not incarcerated.

          15. superxena says:

            Sorry…I posted my answer about fuel on the wrong post….

  17. tonya123456 says:

    Oh and calls me a liar at least once a week when he talks to me that is

  18. tonya123456 says:

    When he calls me ego attention seeker etc he is basically accusing me what he is. Is that correct?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes, it is projection.

    2. Sarah says:

      After a while whatever he called me, I just agreed with it. Took the wind out of his sale…

      1. C★ says:

        Same here, or I would say, “you’re right… it’s all MY fault” … then the silent treatment commenced, lol… like clock work, but I never knew WTF, until I came upon this blog & HG!

  19. C★ says:

    i am so sorry and feel bad that this is how you perceive it to be. i can understand, though, how you came to see things this way and I am sure it was the verbiage and treatment put upon you in your early years by Mnarc…

    1. Mona says:

      C, I do not know where to put my comment for you. I just want to apologise that I did not support you against Dr. Quinzel. I am sorry for it. I did not want the debate going on. If I had spoken again, the debate would never have been ended. I am really sorry. I made a fault.

      1. C★ says:

        awww… thank you Mona, no worries, and NO apology needed ♡ I can hold my own as you and others can see. I fear not the “little people” who have an inflated sense of self….. (everyone knows whom I am referring too, lol) I

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