Little Acons – No. 34
27 thoughts on “Little Acons – No. 34”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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HG, were you and introverted
or extroverted child and had it changed as an adult ?
It is too simplistic too put in terms of either being introverted or extroverted Analise.
I imagine it would be.
Those are broad categories,.
I thought perhaps you donned an extroverted facade as child to blend in.
HG can you please write more stories from childhood!?
What kind of kid were you, shy/quiet? Extrovert/class clown? Tortured small animals?
What were your interests that your mum hated?
We already know you come from a wealthy family..did you go to boarding school? Were you forced to take piano lessons even though you hated them?
Did you get a small tattoo and your mum stopped speaking to you for a month?
What nickname did your mum give you when she devalued you?
Story time please!
Hello Witch, there are plenty throughout my books and there will be more provided in the future.
I would love to read them as well, HG!
Witch & thepianist20 – I highly recommend Fury – lots of details on HG growing up there, plus an excellent explanation of narc behaviour 🙂
My mother used to read my diary. She always found it, no matter how carefully I tried to hide it. Then she told me that those feelings I expressed there were wrong and usually I had to apologise for the whole thing.
Same. I wasn’t allowed to have my own feelings, thoughts, opinions. They were all wrong if they weren’t in alignment with hers. No privacy ever. She often reminded me I didn’t have a right to it. Her and her husband were 2 peas in a pod and he loved to encourage her. Some people really shouldn’t be parents.
You’re right Sophia, some people shouldn’t ever be parents.
Thats so wrong reading someones diary and especially confronting them on it …smh. narcs loathe individuality as well as privacy.
Hi narc affair, yes, they do hate individuality and loosing control. She read my diary until I finally left home at 19 and she made a point of listing her accusations. I was sat at the kitchen table for hours crying and apologising point by point for my feelings, anything really. The every week trial at my house. I do hate kitchen tables nowadays, and I can’t stand having dinner with my mother, with her lingering there, eager for a chat. I run. I force my sister and her children to come along when I can’t avoid it.
I read your post above and I’m so sorry for you. I’m also quite a private person and when I got married and moved back home from years abroad my mother was also at my doorstep each and every day, conveniently showing up when it was dinner time. What a nightmare! I understand how you felt, that’s violating all privacy and awful smearing as well.
Hi Catherine…. thats so very wrong on so many levels! Reading your diary is one thing but dissecting it and making you apologize and being told your most private thoughts and feelings were bad wow. Thats terribly damaging 🙁
My daughter has a diary and ive never read it. I constantly express to her to talk to me about anything bothering her but to invade her privacy no. The only time i would read it is if i suspecting something wasnt right in some way and she didnt open up to me. Itd be for her safety. It wouldnt be to reprimand her ever bc shes entitled to her private thoughts and feelings. So sorry your mother did this.
Same with my mom, Catherine!
She would make me feel bad about what I wrote about her. Now I’ve gone to the extent where I can’t even express myself 🙁
Thank God for OneNote! I can write my stuff there without anyone seeing it. And use as many cuss words to curse my devil damned parents!
That’s so sad, thepianist20. I know how it feels. The written word has always been my sanctuary and she spoiled it for me for so many years. And I have trouble voicing my opinion even now because she never allowed me to have one in the first place, let alone speak my mind.
Great with OneNote. Privacy is so important, especially when you were never allowed to have it.
Catherine and Bubbles
My advice to both of you would be, don’t let anybody strip your identity to an extent, where you can’t even express yourself.
Expressing yourself is VITAL to observing a problem and solving it accordingly.
If you can’t express yourself, then you are setting yourself up for failure. Don’t let narcs strip your identity from you.
Dear Catherine,
Same here. Apparently my step father went into my room, rummaged thru my knickers drawer, found my diary, unlocked it, showed my mum… obviously had a great laugh… then my mum scolded me for what I had written in it. I had to apologise for my private thoughts … go figure!
Never kept a diary after that!
They eavesdropped when I was on the phone, then commented on everything I said. I’m sure I never received some mail from boyfriends etc
Privacy? There is none …. that’s why I left home at 15!
😢
hg, my ex had letters people had written him in his bedroom. For example, his brother in law wrote him a letter saying what a great guy he is and his mom wrote him a birthday card saying how good of a son he is. Are these letters thought fuel? Does he read them when he is low on fuel and actually get fuel from them?
They would provide fuel in themselves, albeit not huge amounts.
The one thing no narc can understand is the concept of ‘boundaries’. Privacy is, ergo, non-existent…
This area of our mother daughter dynamic is what triggered the break up of our family. Wed moved close by in a neighboring town and my mother thought she should be able to stop by without calling whenever she wanted. Many times she would be at my doorstep with visiting relatives and id be just out of the shower or in my pjs. One time she showed up with a group of people when i had my body covered in chicken pox and calamine lotion. It really upset me she couldnt respect this boundary. Im a very private person as is my hubby and i like to know if someones wanting to stop by for a visit. My brother being the minion he is to my mother started smearing us to family behind our backs and what he said was word for word what my mother had written in letters to me when wed disengaged during arguements. He painted this image of us as antisocial hermits that were awkward. This was so incredibly embarressing and hurtful and at the time we were going thru our sons autism diagnosis. I was really hurt but then later so pissed off. I never did confront him bc i knew id blow up and hed lie and tell excuses. I did go thru my mother and she made excuses and said the informer was a lier but i knew those words he said were hers and that was proof enough. Narc parents dont respect your privacy and make you feel like an oddball for wanting your space.
My lesser narc mom puts her ear on my door when I’m having a conversation with a friend on my phone, and then uses that information against me :/
My narc dad has spied on me as well.
So in short, narcs LOVE to violate privacy and are NOTORIOUS for violating privacy.
As a child we don’t have the right to privacy.
My mother would involve herself in my business out of care and concern.
We live in a crazy and dangerous world, where evil lurks, we live amongst evil people who pray on innocent children.
Forget about child, the narc parents treat their adult children like 2 year old kids. It’s emotional abuse..
It’s sad that there are so many wicked people in this world
You will always be a child in the eyes of your parents.
Yes, narcissist parents do abuse their children emotionally. I still love my mother, and always will. My mother like, HG was severely abused as a child.
At the end of the day they too fell into the hands of a evil person. Their narcissist psychopathic parents.
It’s a mad world, indeed.
No one is safe anymore.
I do not think all narcissist are evil, I do think they display manipulative behaviors that can emotionally scar someone mentally. Thanks to, HG tutor we learn not to let our emotional thinking take over.
On another hand we do have evil narcissist that need to shot in the head.
We need Mother Nature to destroy the evil.
I get that but I wouldn’t underestimate these narcs.
Just bcuz someone was abused as child, that doesn’t mean that they get the license to abuse their kid back.
The damage that a narcissist does to a kid is INEXCUSABLE!
End of the day, the kid is cleaning up the mess of the narc parent(s).
The kid as a result, is targeted by psychopaths, bullies, etc etc… And not all of the empathetic people escape the programming.
Consider the worst case scenario too!