The Igniters of Fury – No. 1


A series that allows you to understand what are the different things that you do which are likely to ignite the fury of a narcissist. Keep in mind that different schools of narcissists have different levels of control over their fury. Use this information to understand why you have been treated to heated or cold fury and to use this information to further your own position post escape.

6 thoughts on “The Igniters of Fury – No. 1

  1. freedgypsysoul says:

    I was looking for the longer post that described the outburst at the dinner table and the shocked reactions of the guests followed by the narc leaving the table then returning as if nothing happened (but can’t find out at the moment so going to put my question here).

    HG, I am looking for an idea for how NISSs should respond when the narc drops a comment in to the middle of a conversation that is meant to provoke a response from his audience. It’s one of those shocking one liners where everyone there just kind of blinked their eyes in stunned shock, silence prevailed and no one said a word, you could hear the proverbial pin hit the floor. To make it a bit more specific, I, as the previous IPPS who was recently disengaged from in Oct, was brought in to a conversation between a group of his friends, in front of his new IPPS last evening; there was no call, no rhyme, no reason to bring up my name (but we all know they love to triangulate). So skipping the triangulation part, what’s the best way for the NISSs to respond to shut down the narc from bringing me up in future conversations like this? Is that even possible?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You cannot guarantee not being brought up in future conversations, you can only bring a degree of influence to bear and one way of doing so is to not react to the comment and is to continue talking, but do so about yourself. This means the narcissist will instinctively recognise that the action did not achieve the desired outcome and therefore is les likely to use it again in the future.

      1. freedgypsysoul says:

        In thinking about how this situation was described to me, I ‘see’ multiple things at play; him still smearing me, him triangulating me with new IPPS AND him potentially being ignored and thus wounded in a group of people so the choice of what he said fell under ‘shock factor’ (like dropping a grenade in the middle of something relatively calm) in order to garner a response and have all people turn their attention back to him. Would I be correct in that assessment? Are there any other factors that could have been at play as well that I may have missed? Appreciate your insight and your input. Thank you very much

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are correct.

      2. freedgypsysoul says:

        Would it do any good for them to actually say to him that those comments are inappropriate and unacceptable?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No as it will likely be Challenge Fuel.

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article

Weeping With The Frenemy

Next article