Black Hole

Be prepared. Avoid his black hole.

Know the hoovers and how to counter them.

 

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32 Comments

  1. Dearest HG: Because you said that Edward was a Narcissist, I was surprised and checked some more. More about Edward: `Pretty Woman’s journey has become as talked about as Vivian’s journey over the years. The writer, J.F. Lawton, was interested in “financiers who were destroying companies,” according to Vanity Fair. Enter Edward. “I kind of thought about the idea that one of these people would meet somebody who was affected by what they were doing,” he said. When he was writing it, he happened to live in a Hollywood neighborhood frequented by prostitutes, Vanity Fair reported.` HG, so for the film, not only was the ending change, but they also changed the focus of the movie as well. Maybe that is why I was surprised when you said that he was a portrait of a Narcissist. I never saw the movie, so I never thought much could be wrong, when so many women, on a site that I quit visiting, all wanted an Edward. They saw the movie as a thoroughly romantic movie. HG, now, I wish they knew the real ending. wow. I wonder would those same women on that Site still want an Edward.

    1. PSE, I was a teenager when the movie came out. I saw it at the theater twice and couldn’t wait for the VHS to be released. I saved my money and bought the tape. (They used to be quite expensive.) There is no telling how many times I watched it. I loved the idea of the knight in shining armor coming to pluck me from my ordinary life. The fancy dinners, the champagne and strawberries, the beautiful expensive clothes and that bathtub! The story was the embodiment of everything wonderful about being with a man like Edward. I was in love with him. I wanted that for myself.

      Fast forward (cassette tape reference) 20ish years. A series of serendipitous events at work leads to a new occupant in the office next door to mine. Completely magical and unbelievable circumstances. He was 10 years my senior, dark skinned, salt and pepper hair, gorgeous, confident, a bit aloof, dressed impeccably and smelled divine. I was instantly under the spell. I didn’t realize until I was thinking last night through the list of crushes throughout my life wondering how many were narcs, and thought of Edward Lewis. I knew he was a narcissist, but I asked HG anyway. This is the first I have thought of him in many, many years. I connected the dots! My mysterious new neighbor was my Edward! The idea that I subconsciously bought into as a teenager made me vulnerable. He didn’t have to do anything. Edward paved the way.

      If the alternate (true to life) ending had made it to the screen, alarm bells would have gone off instead. I feel lied to and duped. Although HG has been beating this into my head for a year and half now, this realization that Edward was a narc has hit me right between the eyes today and I’m angry!

      I bought into the idea of what happily ever after looked like and I knew I didn’t have THAT. I’ve searched and searched for “something more” my entire adult life. I truly thought I had found it in him and went after him the best I knew how. (This was all subconsciously of course.) I realized this morning that “It Was Just a Dream” and I’m hurting. It’s feels worse than finding out Santa wasn’t real.

      I was attached to my fantasy; my unrealistic dreams. Letting them go is painful, knowing that I have to grow up now and come to grips with reality is hard. I was angry when I first started reading HGs work too for the same reason. Even that wasn’t as difficult as this. I don’t know if anybody else can relate to this or even if it makes sense, but I had to get it out.

      Why couldn’t they have just played the real ending? It would have helped Julia Roberts learn her lesson too. She ended up “Sleepy With Enemy” soon after that.

      1. MB
        Simple. Because the real ending isn’t what makes women go to see it more than once and buy the VHS. I think movies like that is what makes people unsatisfied and compare their lives to others. The feeling of emptiness that there’s something out there others are getting that they don’t have, and it’s all fantasy. The real that is in front of us just isn’t sexy and can’t compete with that so we label it dull and chase dreams. Example: I hear women all the time slam men for having a lame pick up line. There was such a discussion on here once. Mocking guys because they approached and said hello or asked a simple question. Saying how lame – can’t they come up with something more interesting. The same women that fell for the interesting lines and got a narc. They couldn’t hear themselves or see it after all they’d been through. I’m not saying you have to accept dull, but wow, give the guy a chance. He might just be nervous and (gasp!) normal. Why is it their job to impress us anyway? Another stupid societal expectation. We need to start thinking for ourselves to progress.

        1. NA, the voice of reason! What you say underlines why I was so angry yesterday. These expectations were ingrained into me without my consent. Yes, I watched it, but I didn’t know that I was being imprinted with a belief system that would alter the course of my life. Ok, maybe a little bit dramatic, but not a lot.

          I wouldn’t know anything about lame pickup lines. Anytime I want to talk to somebody I just approach them on my own. I’ve never dated, but if I did, I’d be too impatient for him to come up to me. And if he’s a narc, I’d just throw myself at him. Game over. Good thing I’m not in the market.

  2. HG, was Richard Gere’s character, Edward Lewis, a narcissist in Pretty Woman? I’m sitting here thinking about all my crushes on possible narcs throughout my life and I think he may have been *one* of my firsts.

      1. I knew the answer. Another shining example of romanticism of dangerous behavior. There’s no telling how many times I watched that movie. Tenderized! I haven’t thought of him in years, but he hoovered me yesterday. I saw a blurb in a magazine where Julia Roberts revealed that “the original screenplay ended with her character being left in some dirty alley” but the rom-com gods intervened. Whoever wrote the original screenplay got it right. Whoever intervened made me believe in fairy tales.

        1. .
          MB: Interesting!, I just checked Google, and I think the original screenplay is called: $3000.00, By Johnathan Lawton, It was a bad ending for her. I wonder why it was changed to good.: `EDWARD
          I don’t know why you had to do this
          to me. We had a wonderful time
          together and now you have to ruin
          it.
          Vivian grits her teeth and tries not to say anything. Edward,
          now that he’s gotten it out of his system, adopts a slightly
          gentler tone as he continues to lecture her.
          EDWARD
          You should have told me you like
          the fur so much. I could have
          gotten you something yesterday.
          It’s really a stupid thing to cry
          about. You know I bent over
          backwards to make things pleasant
          for you and it’s just a shame that
          you’re going to spoil it all by
          being unreasonable.
          The streets they pass are now filled mostly with drug dealers,
          an occasional prostitute, and various homeless tramps. Vivian
          stares out the window at the destitution outside, her eyes fixed
          and red. She is on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
          EDWARD
          This is about the area. Do you want
          me to leave you her, or do you have
          a place nearby?
          Vivian says nothing.
          EDWARD
          Vivian? Where do you want me to let
          you off?
          Vivian screams hysterically. She seems to have suddenly gone
          crazy. She starts pounding the roof of the car with her fists.
          Edward quickly pulls the car over to the curb and stops it.
          Vivian is still screaming and pounding.
          EDWARD
          VIVIAN! VIVIAN, CUT IT OUT!
          122.
          Edward grabs her by the wrists and tries to stop her from
          pounding the ceiling. Instead she starts pounding him.
          EDWARD
          Get out! GET OUT OF THE CAR!
          Vivian continues to pound him for a moment, but then she breaks
          down and starts to sob limply.
          EDWARD
          You’re out of your mind. You’re
          insane!
          Vivian is crying.
          EDWARD
          I’ve had enough of this. Get out of
          the car.
          Vivian doesn’t move.
          EDWARD
          Get out of the car!
          When she still doesn’t move, Edward throws open his door and
          gets out.
          EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD – CONTINUOUS
          Edward walks around the car and opens the trunk. He pulls out
          Vivian’s few boxes of clothes and sets them down on the curb. He
          shuts the trunk.
          He walks over to the passenger door and opens it.
          EDWARD
          (firmly)
          Get out.
          Vivian doesn’t move. She is still crying.
          EDWARD
          Don’t make me regret ever picking
          you up. Now please, get out of the
          car. I have to go.
          Edward grabs her by the hand and starts to pull her from the
          car. Vivian explodes again and starts hitting and kicking him.
          Edward forcibly drags her from the car and then throws her to
          the ground. He slams the door shut.
          As Vivian hits the ground she begins to cry again, too weak to
          fight anymore.
          Edward looks down at her. He takes the money envelope from his
          jacket and holds it out to her.
          123.
          EDWARD
          Here, take it. It’s your money.
          VIVIAN
          (sobbing in fits)
          I don’t want it. Just go away.
          EDWARD
          Take it.
          VIVIAN
          No.
          EDWARD
          You’ll regret it tomorrow if you
          don’t take it. You’ll regret it the
          minute I drive away.
          Vivian doesn’t say anything. Edward lays the envelope down on
          the sidewalk in front of her.
          He turns and walks around the car. Vivian lies frozen for a
          moment and then suddenly snaps alive as she hears the sound of
          his car door opening and closing.
          She grabs the envelope and crushes it in her hand. She leaps at
          the car and starts smashing her fists against it and the
          windows.
          VIVIAN
          Go to hell! I hate you! I hate your
          money! I hate it!
          We see a flash of Edward’s face as he stares at Vivian pounding
          on his window. She’s completely lost her mind. He puts the car
          in gear and pushes on the accelerator.
          Vivian is still pounding as the car pulls away. In a final
          gesture of rage she throws the envelope at the car and it breaks
          open as the car peels off.
          The money scatters across the gutter as the car drives away.
          Vivian falls to her knees, weak and crying.
          Across the street various shabby-looking people stare at Vivian
          and the money.
          Vivian is on her hands and knees sobbing. She can barely
          breathe. She is completely broken.
          She wipes the tears from her cheeks. She looks down the street.
          The Mercedes is gone.
          For a brief moment she is still, frozen like a statue.
          She reaches down in the gutter and starts to pick up the money.`

          1. PSE, I hate it too! I was in love with that man. The ending above is the correct ending. The ending we got was lies. I truly believe my life would be different had the real ending been shown. Thank you for sharing that! She was just a DLS picked up out of town. That’s it. He used her and disengaged. He only treated her well and bought her clothes for his own facade. She didn’t change him. She had no effect on him whatsoever. Happily fucking ever after my ass. Thank you for the malign hoover Edward! Another slap in the face with logic.

          2. MB: HERE IS THE ORIGINAL CONTRACT BETWEEN THOSE 2. I never saw the movies, so I do not know if he future faked her:
            `EDWARD
            I’m going to be in town until next
            Friday. I’m involved in an
            important business deal and I’m not
            going to have the energy to try to
            chase down girls when I need to
            relax…
            Vivian is wolfing down the food hungrily.
            VIVIAN
            (her mouth full)
            You want my number? But I charge
            more on Saturdays.
            24.
            (MORE)
            Especially if you want to do the
            sleeping thing. I’d lose a lot of
            business.
            EDWARD
            Hey, slow down. I’m not going to
            take your plate away from you.
            VIVIAN
            Sorry. I guess I was hungry after
            all. So you want my number?
            She finishes off her glass and refills it, this time favoring
            the champagne.
            EDWARD
            Actually, I was wondering if you
            would like to stay here for the
            week.
            Vivian tries to conceal her surprise at his offer. Not many
            people are interested in her during the day. It takes her a
            moment to respond.
            VIVIAN
            (trying to act cool)
            It’d cost ya.
            EDWARD
            How much? Let’s see if I can afford
            it.
            VIVIAN
            Well, seven full nights and days,
            too?
            EDWARD
            Yes. You can do what you want
            during the days, but I’d like to
            have you on call, so to speak.
            VIVIAN
            Two thousand.
            Edward sports the same faint smile that he always gets when he’s
            negotiating money.
            EDWARD
            Hmmm. Two fifty a night for seven
            nights is only seventeen hundred
            and fifty dollars.
            VIVIAN
            But you want me during the days,
            too. And last night you didn’t get
            me ’til after twelve. I did some
            good money before you picked me up.
            EDWARD
            I’m sure you did’ but seven nights
            of steady work.
            25.
            VIVIAN (CONT’D)
            (MORE)
            Shouldn’t I get a discount or
            something? How about fifteen
            hundred?
            VIVIAN
            Don’t be an asshole. You know
            you’ve got two thousand. This
            fucking room must cost you a couple
            hundred a night.
            Edward smiles broadly at that. Vivian notices.
            VIVIAN
            Or more!
            EDWARD
            I like to know I’m getting my
            money’s worth. I struck a good deal
            on this room, too.
            VIVIAN
            (firmly)
            Two thousand.
            Edward pours himself some more orange juice.
            EDWARD
            Alright. I like you. Two thousand
            it is. But let me tell you, I have
            very tough business to do. There is
            a lot of pressure involved. When I
            get tense, I need someone to help
            me relax. That means no problems.
            No hassles. Understand?
            The thought of all that money is starting to warm Vivian’s
            voice.
            VIVIAN
            Sure, honey. I’ll treat you like a
            prince for a week. Anything, any
            way you want.
            EDWARD
            I’m not just talking about sex. I
            need some nice pleasant company.
            VIVIAN
            I’ll treat you so nice you’ll never
            want to let me go.
            EDWARD
            Fine. But I will go. This is only
            for a week. I want you to be clear
            on that, too.
            VIVIAN
            Hey, I’ll be looking forward to
            spending my money when you’re gone.
            Edward smiles.`

          1. Well you can fuck that shit sky high! Im mad as hell this morning over this ‘Pretty Woman’ lie! My shower thoughts and all the way to work this morning we’re about it. I’m writing a letter to the rom-com gods as soon as I stop shaking.

            PS-I know much about sex without kissing on the lips 😞

            here to tell you it is possible to have sex with no kissing. I forgot about the

          2. MB—if you can have sex with no kissing my next assignment for you is to wear black heels and see how long you can keep them on while in bed. Omg—how freaking dumb was that?? I’m totally attributing it to the idiocy of youth. My goal is to prevent the same path for my girls. This narcissistic intrusion/invasion is like the body snatchers.

          3. Lorelei, my husband would think I had lost my damn mind if I wore heels during sex. Besides, somebody would probably get injured! Due to my own *very limited* experience, I think the heels/sex correlation may be the preserve of the narcissist.

          4. MB—the roommate of the narcissist whose wife I contacted to find the “Rachel” said she was “a treat!” I can only imagine what he told his wife about what he was aware of that occurred in that house. How freaking embarrassing. Omg. I have to tell my best friend at work about this tonight because she will crack up. I’ll tell no one else. I’m such a dork. It’s horrible but I know it’s funny.

        2. The Bargain. cont: EDWARD
          I wish my lawyer was that honest.
          So it’s a deal?
          VIVIAN
          I need to go back to Hollywood and
          get some things.
          EDWARD
          No, I want you to stay here while
          you’re with me. I don’t want any
          trouble. We’ll buy anything you
          need. What do you want?
          Vivian smiles awkwardly.
          VIVIAN
          Well, a little bit of rock. Just to
          get me through the week. I’ll pay
          for it myself.
          EDWARD
          No. No drugs. Not while you’re with
          me.
          VIVIAN
          I just need a little buzz. It’s no
          different than champagne.
          EDWARD
          Champagne is legal. Drugs are
          illegal. That’s enough of a
          difference to me.
          VIVIAN
          I can’t go a whole week without
          getting high.
          EDWARD
          (shrugs)
          Then I’ll have to call Room Service
          and get another girl.
          Vivian sits in silence for a moment. Edward watches her for the
          corner of his eye. He enjoys negotiating. Vivian’s face
          toughens. She looks at Edward levelly.
          VIVIAN
          Alright. A week. But I want three
          thousand.
          Edward studies her for a moment. He knows when to close a deal.
          EDWARD
          That’s fair. Hardship pay. Three
          thousand dollars for one week, no
          drugs, no strings attached.
          VIVIAN
          It’s a deal.

          1. Are we going to get the entire screenplay for Pretty Woman written out or can people just watch it?

          2. I think the point is this highlights the difference between original script and screened version

          3. I was so mad, I couldn’t even type straight. I saw my flubbed comment. So embarrassing!
            Can I write a letter to the narcissist Edward Lewis? I’d like to give him a piece of my mind!

        3. MB: Many men were affected by that movie as well. And made a few disastrous decisions because of that movie. Many men have the unspoken fantasy and desire to find an `unfortunate` woman and establish a relationship with her because of her beauty and intimate skills, and then some of these said men are surprised when the `unfortunate` behaviour of drugs and other men and distrust and lack of tenderness continues. Pretty Woman is a movie that is causing a lot of damage, in the way it incites emotional thinking and fantasy to the point that people try to re-enact that movie in their real lives. I wonder if some of those `unfortunate` women are female narcs? And I wonder if they love this movie. I never thought about this before.

          1. P.S. The Play, Pretty Woman, is showing just blocks from my apartment. There is always a long line of people for that play. And unlike most plays, there are a lot of men in the line, instead of the usual female dominant viewers.

    1. That’s interesting MB… me too. When I think of others…

      Stanley Kowalski – A Streetcar Named Desire (my god, Marlon Brando *sigh*)
      Vicomte de Valmont – Dangerous Liasons
      John Gage – Indecent Proposal
      Zack Mayo – An officer and a Gentleman
      Johnny Castle – Dirty Dancing
      Danny Zuko – Grease

      Probably ALL Narcs – oh well

    2. MB
      Anything with Richard Gere in it caught my eye. This movie was one of my favorites.

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