The Porn Supremacy

There is a significant correlation between our kind and the use of pornographic material. Once upon a time, one might imagine that the size of a person’s porn stash might have been a rough and ready indicator of their reliance on porn and their potential for being one of our kind. Nowadays the availability of porn through the internet means that millions of images and videos are available at the click of the mouse. No longer is it necessary for people to buy top-shelf magazines, visit an “adult sex shop” to purchase videos or DVDs, or import some hardcore material from another jurisdiction. It is far easier to go online and obtain a porn fix there instead. If you have been entangled with our kind, it is highly likely that porn featured on the agenda. Initially, it will have been used as an aperitif to sexual activity, watching a film together or surfing for some interesting snippets in order to get us both in the mood or enhance the mood further. It would provide a basis for discussion between us as to ascertaining sexual mores and appetites. During seduction we would garner from you what worked for you, what turned you off and what intrigued you. Some of that knowledge would be put to use as part of the seduction and some of it would be stored away for later use. Porn would be used in an effective and healthy manner. Our true use of porn would be suspended by the needs arising from effecting the seduction, embedding you and extracting your positive fuel.

Porn appeals to each cadre of narcissist as a consequence of its availability and ubiquity. I will detail below a host of reasons why narcissists of all cadres and schools utilise porn, especially during the devaluation period, but to begin with, a brief mention as to why porn is specifically appealing to these groups.

The Victim Narcissist – with low energy levels and often a low libido, porn provides an easy and available option. Some Victim Narcissists also suffer sexual dysfunction and therefore watching porn is an easy substitute for something they are less able to do.

The Somatic Narcissist – porn is his playground. His obsessions with body and performance come together in a glittering array of writhing and gyrating bodies. Porn is the cradle of the somatic.

The Cerebral – whilst he may have less interest in the sex act, he still wants to know plenty about it and watching extensive amounts of porn, understanding techniques, observing scenarios and so forth enables the Cerebral Narcissist to stockpile his sexual arsenal for later use through spoken and written communication.

The Elite – quite obviously a combination of the reasons that attract the Somatic and the Cerebral means that the Elite finds much to relish in the world of pornography.

The Lesser –  the power and control which come with porn appeal to the lesser. His lack of imagination is also catered for by watching such a massive array of porn.

The Mid-Range –  acquisition of knowledge about porn enables him to portray himself as more capable than he is and enables him to talk a good game.

The Greater – the access to depravity and humiliation appeals especially to the Greater. Whilst such actions will also be evidenced in the Lesser and Mid-Range, it is the Greater who makes more extensive use of porn in this fashion.

Accordingly, porn provides some kind of use to each school and each cadre of our kind. If your narcissist did not appear to access porn, then it is probably the case that you just never caught them doing so. Secrecy is a significant part of the narcissistic lifestyle and secret tablets, activity in the bolthole and password locked devices will invariably be masking a use of porn.

Why do our kind make such extensive use of porn? The use of porn naturally is nor per se a bad thing and many victims enjoy viewing porn as a stimulating and vibrant addition to sexual activity. Those reasons are for stimulation, increasing knowledge and technique in order to please themselves and their partner and in essence for reasons which would be regarded by many people as “good”. Our reasons are far more varied.

  1. Objectification. I have explained previously how we regard people as objects because they are our appliances. This is even more so when we watch porn. Our grandiosity and sense of omnipotence means that these objects are performing for our benefit. We sit before glowing screen akin to a director as these objects interact at our say so. If we want to watch two women and a man together – click, we find the video. If we want anal – click, we find the video. She males, enemas, bondage – whatever we decide the objects should do, we just click and the relevant objects appear to do what we want. We consider ourselves as commanding them to do our bidding.
  2. Lack of intimacy. Our inability to feel many emotions means that intimacy is abhorrent to us. Yes, it will be faked during seduction because of the greater aim that exists but once there is no need for this, it is readily jettisoned. You may (not always admittedly) seek intimacy in your sexual union with us. We will not want that during devaluation and therefore this will result in an ignited fury response. In order to avoid such a scenario arising we take refuge in the world of porn where there is no intimacy. It is cold, clinical and two or more objects performing as we decree.
  3. Control of the environment. We do not want the environment to control us. We must control the environment. This is why control ranks so highly in our day to day dealings. In the arena of pornography, we are in complete control of the environment. We transport ourselves into the scenario as god-like we control it, directing people to place this here and that there, do this, do that, take this, take that. Porn is the ultimate place for us to be able to control the environment.
  4. Reflection. We do not exist save by reflection. This is why we have such an incredible need for external approval and why we seek fuel from everything that we interact with. Your emotional responses (good or bad) provide us with validation that we exist, that we matter and that we are important. We also take your characteristics to use as our own in order to further our construct of what we want to be. Porn facilitates this also. The supreme Olympic performances of those in the videos that we watch, we consider to be us. Therefore, we take those characteristics for ourselves. We also regard the reaction of those in the videos, their orgasmic screams of delight, their groans of pleasure, even the harsh words issued by a dominatrix to be directed as emotional reactions to us and thus fuel is gained and we receive validation by these people recognising us. We become a participant in the porn. If the video is a POV (point of view) production the effect is heightened.
  5. Withdrawal. By choosing to spend our time watching porn rather than being in bed with you we gain fuel from your response. Sometimes it will be Thought Fuel as we think of you lying there in a lonely bed upset and wondering why we spend so long locked in our bolthole and other times it will be Proximate Fuel as you berate us for watching porn or become upset when we reject your advances and head for the study instead. Our extensive use of porn is utilised to belittle you, thus drawing fuel and reinforce our superiority over you.
  6. Lack of challenge. We hate being challenged, after all, we are superior beings and you are inferior therefore any challenge you may issue to us in the sexual arena is unwelcome during devaluation. You are not allowed to make demands on us, have sexual needs which require fulfilment and the like. Those on the screen do not challenge us. Instead they comply with us and facilitate what we want and thus they are preferred.
  7. On tap. We require repeated validation and recognition of our importance and what better way than to receive it from a medium which is always there, always delivers and does so in spades? It does not feel tired; it does not have a period nor does it have a headache. It does not baulk at a certain demand or resist a depraved act. It performs when want it to and it provides us with what we need. This is how our appliances should operate and how we expect them to operate.
  8. Shame. We feel safer operating in an environment that  does not require an emotional obligation on our part. Not always, but you will often expect an intimate connection with us during sexual activity and we do not want to provide this as we cannot. Whilst we take fuel from your emotional reactions, you often want this reciprocated in the sexual arena more than any other and we are reminded of our inability to provide certain emotions to you and this creates shame. This is a criticism which will then ignite our fury and cause us to withdraw or lash out at you. We do not wish to experience this shame and therefore by engaging in viewing porn we are not subjected to this emotional demand from you. (This is also a factor in our kind’s use of one night stands and prostitutes).
  9. Uniqueness. By delving into deviancy and taboo activities online this reinforces our sense of being unique, special and above everyone else. Vanilla sex is available for everyone but we are not everyone. Watching the more deviant and kink sexual activities is not done in order to gain a sexual kick from doing so (although one will be present) the main aim is to reinforce our sense of being unique because we watch (and by extension engage in) such activity.
  10. Triangulation. We will use the watching of porn to triangulate with you. Either through withdrawing from sexual activity with you or using what we have viewed as the basis for insisting on you engaging in similar activities and telling you why we want you to do this. This allows fuel to be obtained and enables our superiority to be reinforced.
  11. Social media. Our porn habits during devaluation are usually solitary activities in our boltholes where we are also able to reach out and gain fuel from a wide range of appliances through social media at the same time. This creates a heady brew of fuel from our porn viewing and our interaction with appliances through social media. This is highly edifying for us and by combining the two we feel especially powerful. We receive fuel but we are also god-like as we command the people on screen to do our bidding as we pull the strings of those we message and text.

 

Accordingly, porn is something which appeals considerably to our kind.

78 thoughts on “The Porn Supremacy

  1. Supernova DE says:

    Of course it was challenge fuel, how dare I be silly or (gasp) have some self confidence to display. -eyeroll-

    Seriously mid-rangers are so lame once you have the inside track. Thanks HG 😘

    1. HG Tudor says:

      They are snivelling cowards.

      1. Supernova DE says:

        The cowardice is astounding when you consider the silent treatment itself is a form of cowardice. Mid rangers have to remove themselves just to avoid being challenged or one-upped. It’s sad, actually, but obviously a very effective defense mechanism for them.

        I would rather have an all out fight than the passive aggressive non-confrontations with a mid ranger. There was never any release of tension, because he would not allow it, it was crazy making.

      2. Lorelei says:

        Yes, they are cowards HG—I told one at work via text not to even try her bullshit.. She backed off and never acknowledged it. **It seems the narc coalition she was part of in the spring wasn’t there to provide her a sense of strength. It was over something dumb.

        1. Liza says:

          Lorelei,
          even in workplace there are still such things as coalitions ?

      3. Supernova DE says:

        Text string received (in many variations many times) from Cerebral MMRN during entanglement:

        MMRN: Tell me what you want to do with my c*ck baby
        MMRN: sends photo
        MMRN: lol hmmmm

        When I open it may be photo of half eaten pizza or perhaps Trees seen through a windshield of his car etc

        HG is that a corrective deval? Word salad?

        Thank you

        1. HG Tudor says:

          It means he has the camera facing the wrong way.

  2. Twisted Heart says:

    I met a guy at a Halloween Party last weekend. He was really into me and he seemed thoughtful and sensitive. I am so cautious of getting involved with anyone but I did feel safe with him and he is a friend of a friend. We kissed and fooled around a bit but he could see that I was vulnerable so he stopped.
    The following night I saw him again and he told me he didn’t want to continue pursuing me sexually because I was so cute and sexy and “special” that he wanted to wait. He said we will hang out again very soon but didn’t say when. He’s been posting on social media that he is looking for a girlfriend.

    My friends think he’s a good guy who is being respectful but I thinks he’s a mid range narc and he’s putting me on the shelf and future faking me.
    Something happened on the first night that made me uncomfortable so I asked if we could talk about it. He called me immediately and was completely accountable and made sure that I was ok so that surprised me.

    Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to put everyone through the narc test and just have fun and see what happens but I can’t handle another narcissist in my life. There were some other subtle red flags but honestly I can turn anything into a red flag at this point.

    Should I GOSO or go with the flow???

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Run him through the Date Defender.

  3. Pati says:

    Regarding the intimacy part. Thats why they dont like eye contact when having sex.they prefer to stare elsewhere and not directly at you. You are not a person an object .

  4. jaimin__2689 says:

    😅😎

  5. Lauren says:

    Hi HG,

    Over a video chat, I talked about my rape to the victim narcissist. I mentioned how I thought that it was the rapist’s way of exerting control over me. I also told him that after our last video chat, his jerking off on the video chat while staring at me triggered a reaction in my ptsd from the rape. He asked me questions, listened, and sounded engaged in the conversation at first, but then he got up and sat on the floor and started jerking off while I was talking. It was odd because I had already mentioned to him that his jerking off triggered me in our previous video chat but I also told him that it was good for me to know that I am not healed from the rape and that I have more work to do on myself.

    1. Why did he decide to jerk off during our conversation about my rape?

    2. Did the theme of rape turn him on? If so, why?

    3. Does the Victim LMRN or MMRN rape the Shelf IPSS or IPPS during devaluation?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. You were talking about someone else who raped you (I presume). Your emotional responses to this were about someone else, therefore your fuel was being given to someone else, not the VN, this wounded him. The VN´s narcissism dictated that he needed to assert control, as being wounded by you meant he felt that he did not have control. I suspect the individual concerned will be LL, ML or LMR. His narcissism selected a rudimentary yet provocative act to assert control by pulling your attention and thus fuel onto him. He therefore jerked off.
      2. It appears that way from your perspective. This was a base rudimentary means of asserting control and seeking fuel as a consequence of the loss of control occasioned by wounding. A Middle Mid Ranger would, for example, have made some pretence of caring about your situation and made suitable comments so as to draw attention and thus fuel onto him.
      3. There is a risk this would happen. It is less likely for a Shelf IPSS versus an IPPS. A MMRN is again less likely to behave in this manner, but it is not impossible. Of the two, an LMR is more likely to commit rape than a MMR but the risk is not substantial.

      1. Lauren says:

        1. My apologies. I failed to mention that he said to me that his “dick is powerful” after I said that it triggered me into flashbacks of the rape by somebody else.

        But wouldn’t this trigger of my emotions on my part from seeing the VLMRN or VMMRN’s dick give him fuel b/c it still made me react to a rape by somebody else and make him want to jerk off in the video chat to trigger my flashbacks more for fueling his feeling of having a powerful dick?

        Why would he even say or feel that is dick is powerful then?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          To provoke you.

          1. Lauren says:

            Okay, thank you for replying!

          2. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome.

        2. Renarde says:

          Lauren

          You poor love. How utterly awful and despicable to treat your opening up to him in this way with such an outrageous act.

          I hope you see this. Are you accessing help?

          Is there anything we can do?

    2. Liza says:

      Lauren,
      i’m verry sorry you had to experience such an event, and i hope you will feel better verry soon.
      as a generality, if a person starts doing such a discusting thing while talking to you, do not stay around, walk away, cut the phone or interupt the communication if it is via skyp, you do not care if he is a narcissist or anything, he is obviously at least a cold pervert, and you don’t want to have anything to do with this kind of individual.
      if i may give you an advice, do not talk about traumatic events to a new romantic prospect, it is ok if he/she is a good person, but their is always a chance of theme being toxic, or just not ready to hear it and you will end up retraumatised, if you need to talk, do it with somedoby you are sure you can trust, or if you are not confortable talking about this to a person you know go for a perofetional.

  6. WokeAF says:

    “Reflection. We do not exist save by reflection”

    Love this

  7. lisk says:

    It’s really all a virtual reality game for the Narcx, and I was just a flesh and blood game piece.

    Yuck. I’m so angry that I allowed myself to be in that position for so long. No wonder I felt empty.

  8. Jade84 says:

    HG I have seen numerous videos on YouTube not only that you have produced but also interviews. I thank you for everything you have out there as it was/is the only way I was able to get over the emotional guilt of grey rock.
    Your book “sex” and now this article here…have finally cleared up for me why the sexual devaluation went down the way it did. The sexual arena was an area that hurt tremendously before I read your material.
    In my head and out loud sometimes I would comment “you know most guys would jump at the chance to have their wives down for XYZ like I am” and it always seemed like right as I came around to liking something sexual, he would start to not do it anymore. The porn though…the last year we were together was used just as you describe. Where at first and before in our marriage it was used as a mutual experience or even solo but we were both cool with it. It turned into triangulation and doing it without me seemingly to hurt me. And it was so irritating when he would seem to get mad at me when I’d do the same (if he wasn’t giving it to me and I respected my vows, I’d take care of myself). It was so weird to me but now it all makes sense. Your book also helped me grasp why he would get mad if I didn’t have a clear orgasm; he didn’t care about my pleasure he care about my “lack” of validating his performance! Also explains why he didn’t care much for my being able to climax with solo masturbation…unless he got to watch. It was never about me. Wow.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Welcome Jade84 and I am pleased that my work has proven so useful to you.

  9. empath007 says:

    Another question if I may…

    what if the intimate partner enjoys demeaning sex acts? Would that ruin the narcs enjoyment of trying to bring them down? Or would they just keep testing the waters until they hit their limit and found what’s off limits?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The narcissist would shift to a different form of control which is devaluing. If the Intimate Partner is not upset, angry, distressed by the demeaning conduct, the narcissist will find an alternative method.

  10. empath007 says:

    HG, could someone have a porn addiction but not be a narc?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes, however it is highly likely that the individual will be a narcissist, but not always. There can be an addiction to porn without the other indicators of a narcissist.

      1. empath007 says:

        Thank you for your answer. Could this person use the porn as triangulation instead of physically stepping outside the relationships and having affairs? Or would there likely always be affairs present with a narc?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Yes they could. Affairs are often present but not always and triangulation as described will occur both with affairs and without.

  11. sabine1968 says:

    Yeah, again, predictable behavior of a Narc. I said to him: “so happy of all your women so I did not need to “perform” every day wasting my time in “clinical” interaction with him….his reaction: a snarl of fury 🙂 I cannot stop laughing and he runned away, of course, in revenge….Silly games, I am no contact at all and our daughter as well.

    1. Supernova DE says:

      HG,
      If an empath with high sex drive (ie me) talks to a cerebral MMRN (ie Mr. Penis Pump) about their general needs and cravings for sex, why they need it and what it provides physically, emotionally, and spiritually….does this wound? Or is it a criticism given that the attention is not on the narc? Was just wondering if this would set a cerebral narc off in particular given that they aren’t capable of those things.

      Would a somatic or elite be wounded by such a conversation?

      Thank you!

      1. HG Tudor says:

        It is Challenge Fuel.

        1. Supernova DE says:

          Thank you. This explains quite a few conversations during my entanglement that went down the drain unexpectedly.
          In my mind I thought, “shouldn’t he be happy I’m so sexual, any man would be….?” But he always went silent or found a way to make a caustic comment.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome.

            You are talking to him, therefore giving him fuel, but you are challenging him because you are stating your sexual needs and making him feel (unconsciously) that you are controlling him. Therefore his narcissism has to assert control, thus he have you a Present Silent Treatment or responded with Provocation.

          2. Supernova DE says:

            HG would it also be challenge fuel when I would be in a playful mood and send several pictures of myself with silly Snapchat filters? Because I am the focus of my own texts?

            Another one would be when I would have a narcissistic moment and send a lovely pic of myself and say “I look good right?” Or “Dare you to say I’m not beautiful.” Or some such comment. Challenge fuel?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Challenge Fuel.

  12. brynnstar says:

    The title of this essay is absolute aces, prof

  13. Claire says:

    My ex MR had a hidden collection of images that I discovered randomly on his computer. I didn’t spy , I was using his computer ( mine one died) and I was just curious to see his contents. The wallpaper was a bit shocking – not because of the nudity but the female was my lookalike – same hair colour , same eye colour and just a half size bigger breast ( not so well done silicone btw) . I asked him to change the wallpaper and he refused of course “ But she even look like you -see, her hair is like yours “ . I briefly responded that my legs are longer. I am sure he had watched a lot of porn. During the devaluation period he would withdraw sex and I would suffer – he stayed late those nights pretending to continue work from home . Only my strong Christian beliefs kept me grounded do not engage into an extra marital affairs. The emotional abuse had so many forms indeed. He was always successful targeting my desire for intimacy and my vanity with one shot – resorting to porn during the devaluations.

  14. Lorelei says:

    I told some people in my ex’s life he was always watching gay fetish porn because I knew they would be appalled. As we stood in court I thought of it because I also made sure his attorney knew through an acquaintance. It amuses me. He deserves it after telling everyone I was a bipolar alcoholic. Tit for tat.

  15. Chihuahuamum says:

    Oddly enough porn was never used as a weapon in any way that i can recall. We both enjoy porn once inawhile leading up to sex. I can see where itd be upsetting if you were a primary source and they were more into porn or used it to compare or triangulate.
    We never have had a problem with porn. I was never expected to live up to a porn star or compared to one. Porn has been used to spice things up. My narc has always said he enjoys the real thing and doesnt watch porn that much. He knows i dont have an issue with it. I dont take it personally bc i have watched porn on my own as well.

    1. Claire says:

      You were somehow lucky Chiahuahuamum:) I don’t mind my partner watching porn if it doesn’t replace the sex. I watch occasionally as well. In my case, to make the matter worse, I was the one who had the higher sex drive and more experience. And I vowed to fidelity when I got married to him. So it sucked when he withheld the sex from time to time . Although I can differentiate between sex and love/sex together, still my body needed it . Even the vigorous exercises at the gym wouldn’t help much.

    2. Renarde says:

      Chihuahuamum

      You have very elegantly delineated Hg’s point. Porn triangulation did not work on you.

      However, with a Greater, it did work on me. I felt I could never compete. It’s bizarre. I can put myself into my own head in three disparate ages. When I became fully sexually active as a rampant and dare I say it, hormonal late teenager was first.

      The depressing aspect of my thirties when I became very overweight.

      Where I am now. Not the skinny teenager nor the obese mother but a good balance for me and my psyche. Lost about eight stone and have only regained a stone or so. But I’m happy with how I look. I was way too skinny at a size 6/8 at my thinnest before. (Got up to a 22/24 before what I am now, a 12/14. – UK sizes.)

      Every single item of clothing I own I can wear. The first time since I was a teenager that I can say that.

      The point is, it hurt so very much when I was subjected to The Porn Supremacy. Ten fucking years of that shit. Ten fucking years.

      Bizarrely, once the ex was removed from that side of the equation, I would quite happily wank myself silly over porn. It was his connection and the way he used it to manipulate me that was the problem.

  16. T’mara says:

    Dear M. Tudor, I try not to ask you too many questions so as not to get on your nerves, but I do have a couple questions that perhaps you, or even Narc Angel might answer: (just because I tend to be inquisitive about mystery):

    1). What are some of the secret, depraved things you do, or watch (except, for stuff dealing with animals; I don’t wanna know about that as I am an animal-lover (and not in That Way));

    2). Do you mean “enemas” so as to keep oneself nice and sparkly clean for the main performance, or is it for something else? (If it has anything to do with having s*x with people’s fecal matter, I will dedicate my life to going Cold Turkey on all Narcissistic Sociopaths, including you, HG, and happily suffer the horrid withdrawals (come what may)).

    I have to draw the line somewhere.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The answers lie in my book Sex.

      1. Tamara says:

        (I lost my reply, so not sure if it went through, or not). Thank you, kindly. Do you mean that it is in the latest version of your book?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Yes.

          1. Tamara says:

            Thank you, immensely. I will order it for my Kindle.

          2. Tamara says:

            No, I will not order it unless I can be certain there is enough of an update in the edition to justify buying it a second time. And, the only way I can truly know this is to order it, and see, so I guess I won’t.

          3. Tamara says:

            I am not getting any grand approvals anyway, so I have nothing to lose by not kissing your shiny *ss.

          4. strongerwendyme says:

            There is new material in the updated version?

          5. HG Tudor says:

            There is new material in the sequel publication, SWM.

          6. strongerwendyme says:

            Yes, too tempted to find out so I downloaded the original, just finished it (again). Just a new facade…er book cover. Still a good read.

          7. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha, well thank you for doing so.

      2. Witch says:

        Now that we are on the topic… HG is it true that you like feet?

        1. Pati says:

          He also like long necks so he can sink his teeth into them.

          1. Witch says:

            I guess that’s where garlic necklaces come in handy

          2. Pati says:

            Exactly lol ,we have that in our culture. We can also wear a cross or an evil eye necklace it keeps the vampires away well supposedly.

          3. Witch says:

            I bought an evil eye wall amulet from Turkey, I have it hanging on my window to protect me against the nosey neighbours. I want to get a hamsa too.
            I’m willing to do all I can!

          4. Pati says:

            Hang a clove of garlic,and a cross if you want)

    2. Lorelei says:

      I was going to keep my mouth shut but holy fuck why would someone ask another person this on here—HG or anyone.

      1. WokeAF says:

        What, you mean you don’t wanna know MY kinks?

        1. Tamara says:

          You mean, do I wish to know your “kinks”, WokeAF? I’m listening…

      2. Tamara says:

        Lorelei,

        I am sure it was difficult for you to keep that mouth of yours shut, especially since you tend to be the “popular” one one the blog nowadays, with an entire brigade to back you up, at any given time, when you find it necessary to ask a question of a loner, which you already knew, all too well, no answer would have sufficed you.

        You don’t know me, so obviously you have no need to ask in your self-righteous display of why I would ask such questions. Perhaps, you should have listened to your logic, instead of your emotions, and indeed, kept that mouth shut.

        I figured my questions would bring out a bully, or two, from behind the shadows. It was just a matter of time. Bingo.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          If you make a comment on this blog you can expect people to comment on it. Similarly, if other people comment on the blog, they can expect you to comment on it. That is what happens with debate, conversation and the exchange of views.

          1. Tamara says:

            As I commented to Lorelei…

          2. Tamara says:

            Frankly, even in the past, when I was here under another name, Lorelei was always a snob and a b*tch to me; she was the only one, too. Perhaps it’s just her nature to stomp on those who are not as popular, as is she. Quite the Empath, there.

      3. Tamara says:

        Ya know, Lorelei, every time you open your mouth, the fly population increases

    3. Renarde says:

      I’m so glad that I didn’t answer this one without scrolling down to see how you have attacked a regular.

      No; I’m not one of Lorelei’s brigade. I’m not of anyone’s brigade.

      Your almost extremely unsubtle questions about bestiality and your clear obsession with scatological content is really all there for all to see.

      1. T’mara says:

        Evident of your harassment on me, months later, you are a narcissist of a lesser variety who is trying desperately to please her cult leader with her projections because she is unable to impress him any other way.

        1. Renarde says:

          T’mara.

          A Lesser??? You called ME a Lesser?

          Oh well. If you’d have really wanted to insult me you could have called me a Middle Middle Ranger. Victim cadre. So I’m taking that as a win. Cheers! 🎩

          As I said, I’m watching Tolkien at the moment. Before I recieved your message I was idly speculating if poor Smeagol didnt have PTSD due to the extent of his dissociation from his alter, Gollum. Ring any bells?

          He was a bad ‘un Gollum really but was Smeagal just perhaps possessed for a need to own the Ring of Power? Hmm, Gollum.

          Many attempt to take the Ring of Power I find. There is much wisdom in Tolkien even if he needed a bloody good edit.

          I’ll share with you an embarrassing moment. I utterly wiped put at Halloween. Fell over. Massive face plant. How silly of me. I was dressed as a Ringmaster.

          What was the last silliest thing you did and why?

  17. Courtney Westbrook says:

    Wow. This explains so much. The extreme use of porn near the end that he blamed on ED. How he would Jack off to porn while I was in the next room loud enough for me to hear it. It all makes sense now.

    1. Caroline R says:

      A couple of years ago a sexy mid-ranger swooped on me and chatted me up as I came out of a department store.

      An adorable little child who was full of joie de vive, was just in front of me obstructing my exit from the store.
      I stood smiling at the tiny tot, whose dad came and scooped her up in his arms, and out of the thoroughfare.

      Enter ex-N, full of swagger and sexy Brazilian accent. He was tall, and his light olive skin had that lickable quality.

      Tony was a charming force of nature, and I stood transfixed, as he complimented me on my smile, my long blonde hair, and my figure. He walked around me like a connoisseur, admiring me from many angles. I observed this with amusement.

      “Oh, you’re my blonde Nicole Kidman!”, he exclaimed as though he’d found his holy grail of womanly beauty. He extolled the virtues of elegant beauty, and I agreed with everything that he said.

      He wasn’t long in Australia, and was sorting himself out with work, had been working in menswear. We talked about aesthetics and travel, and our work.
      I admired his outgoing personality, and his courage launching into a new life in another country. He was well-spoken, and stylish in black, and his accent was adorable.

      After about half an hour, he asked me for my number, which I gave him.
      He tried to pull me into his arms. I declined with an amused smile, and a “not so fast” twinkle in my eye.

      I told him that I was going on holiday to the tropics next week, but he could call me.

      About a week later he called me.
      I was down on the beach, and the evening breeze was blowing so strongly that I could hardly hear him.
      He seemed surprised to hear that I was genuinely away, he thought I’d told him that to give him the brush-off.

      He called me the next night.
      The conversation flowed easily. He made me laugh. He taught me some Portuguese phrases.
      He told me about his female friend who he had travelled with from Brazil, and that she kept getting asked out by men who all wanted to do things to her that were straight out of porn films.
      He was affronted on her behalf.
      I liked that about him: he seemed to be protective.

      “She’s a beautiful girl, and she tells me these things, and gets so upset by them. She wants to have love, and they want to be…..” “Degrading?” “Yes. She is so upset by it. She doesn’t like it.”

      I empathized with the situation. He decried this base masculine behaviour, and said his friend deserved better. I agreed.

      He said again that he didn’t believe that I was really away, that I’d only said it to give him the brush-off.
      “No. I’m really in Queensland. I’d planned this holiday months ago”.
      I thought “I had a life before we met”.
      He asked me when I’d be back home so he could take me out.
      He told me about what food he liked, and where he’d like to go to eat. I was happy with those plans.
      He told me some things about his life, but they got lost in translation.

      We texted a few times afterwards, and I felt hopeful of having some interesting time with him, for however long it lasted.
      The lack of established career and finances was off-putting, but I wanted to give him a chance.

      I returned home.
      He called me a couple of times, and future faked me. Nothing eventuated.
      There were reasonable excuses but nothing went forward.
      I was supportive, and understanding, but it was wasting my time. He told me again that he didn’t believe that I’d been away when he first called me. I was again reassuring him that I don’t lie.

      About four weeks later he called me. I assumed that it was over by then, having heard nothing. “I haven’t heard from you”, he said. There was something in his voice which I didn’t understand, but I now recognise as smugness that he couldn’t hide.
      “I don’t call men”, I replied. “There’s no need to”.

      He’d been making money, and getting work sorted. I couldn’t quite follow what he was saying. I listened supportively.
      He told me that he’d been thinking about me, and wanted to see me.
      It was Saturday afternoon.
      I assumed that he was going to ask me out for a drink that evening.

      Then he said:
      “I’ve been looking at women that look like you in porn”.

      I was stupefied!

      I listened while he praised their faces, their bodies and proportions, their long blonde hair.
      “I don’t understand what you mean. I’m here in real life….”, I said quietly.
      I felt sleazed on, and put down.
      He’d polluted everything in that moment.

      Then he became defensive and launched into a long pity play, saying that he had been thinking about me, and he only looked at the women that looked like me, and I should be flattered, and he’d been working hard, and why would I pressure him to take me out when he’s been getting his job sorted out, I don’t need this now, and why do women always do this to me? and I need someone who will be understanding….

      I listened in astonishment, but kept my composure.
      It was such a turn-off, and it was evident that there was no real room for me in his life.
      We clearly had nothing in common.

      I’ve been here before.
      I hate sleaze.
      Ex-N #2 David had heaped sleaze on me with one sentence once he devalued me.
      He’d constantly triangulate me with other women’s body parts, even in print media, and in billboard advertising. This was especially so after he saw another man checking me out, there would immediately come the downputting remark.
      This was a man who said that he shared my faith, and worked for World Vision. Total hypocrite.
      I was so depressed after I ended it with him, after months of paiin-inflicting, confusion-inducing hoovering, I could hardly get out of bed for a few days, and I was not going to allow that to happen again.
      Furthermore, David’s next IPPS was nearly my clone in terms of looks and personality.
      It was a total mindf**K.

      I told Tony that now that I know him better, “I’m not available anymore for a relationship. I’ll say goodbye now.”
      I hung up, and blocked his number.

      I stood in an inner city street in Melbourne, my phone in my hand.
      I looked at the beautiful spring afternoon sunshine. There were people enjoying the day, sitting with coffee at cafe tables. Some had their little dogs with them. It looked like life as normal.

      I thought to myself “what just happened?!”

    2. Tamara says:

      Ya, Courtney… this is what they do sometimes for hours on end.

  18. Alexissmith2016 says:

    HG, without being too personal. What do Ns masturbate about? Is it something sexual? I only i sometimes wonder if they actually masturbate about who they’ve fucked over and I don’t mean that in a sexual sense either.

    Just for clarity one very sad loser N ther I knew would get great enjoyment from putting the rubbish in the recycling box and visa Vera at his brother-in-laws house, but the thrill he got from that was unreal. And it wasn’t in a jokey way either.

    That is just a very simple petty example. It could be thst they’ve swindled someone out of a lot of money or whatever.

    So do they masturbate about something sexual which has made them feel powerful or something non-sexual which has made them feel powerful? Or both. Or not at all

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Read Sex.

      1. alexissmith2016 says:

        Thanks I’ll re-read it and come back to you if I’m still unsure.

        1. Alexissmith2016 says:

          It seems it is of a sexual nature rather than power they’ve exerted in general.

          Reading between the lines, whilst masturbatjng they’re just imagining how great they are at sex. And how impressed others would be at their sexual prowess.

          So I can forget the idea that he ‘pulled one off’ over putting the recycling in the rubbish bin.

    2. empath007 says:

      That’s an interesting question… I will have to pick up a copy of the book

      I remember once mine saying an image of me out loud before having an orgasm…. another time he told me “you dominate all my fantasies”…. but I assume in the aftermath that was nothing but a lie lol. OR it meant something different then what I would think it to mean.

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