LoveSex Addiction

new lovesex

In many instances there is often the lament following discard (and even escape) that although your experience with our kind was horrendous beyond measure the sex was out of this world. You miss the sex to an incredible degree. The sex was mind-blowing, intense, hugely satisfying and unlike anything else you have known. Now I know this is not always the case, there are some of our kind who are not interested in sex and some who are useless at it and in those instances you have more than likely been ensnared by a Victim Narcissist. That is not the topic of discussion today. Today we focus on those of our kind who are the sexual Olympian who thrilled and delighted you between the sheets (and plenty of other places too). One of the reasons our kind uses sex as a weapon is because of the addictive quality that we create around the sexual experience you have with us. Why is sex with us so addictive? There are actually several reasons, but the one I wish to focus on today is the concept of LoveSex. This is the link between Love and Sex.

We do not dissuade you from making such a link. In fact we positively encourage you to do this. The way that we seduce you and the way that we love bomb you is designed to inject love into sex so that they effectively become indistinguishable from one another. We are fully aware that irrespective of how self-sufficient you may like to think that you are, how independently you might lead your life, you still have that desire for the white knight. Again, this relates to the way that you have been conditioned by society to regard love and romance. We know about this and exploit this. An honest examination of your thoughts and feelings will result in your admitting that at least on one occasion you have wanted that dashing knight to come riding in on his charger, sweep you in his arms and then take you through to the bedroom where he makes tender and delicious love to you. You have been conditioned to expect to be treated like a princess and we do this when we place you on that pedestal during our love bombing of you. Sex is no different. You want to be taken care of in the bedroom, loved and made to feel special. By providing all of this when we have sex with you then we are blurring the lines between sex and love, binding the two together. Since we are so magnificent in our delivery of delicious and rewarding sex then this entwined sex and love causes you to feel a very special kind of love, better than anything else you have experienced before. We apply all of the loving techniques when we have sex with you. The tender, romantic, slow and caring way we caress and hold you before easing into you all accords with this almost dream-like perception of how sex should be. We do however go further than this traditional model of the handsome prince making sweet, delicate love to his beautiful princess. When we suddenly take you from behind, hitch up your skirt and bend you over a worktop or the back of the settee and have vigorous sex with you we will look to ensure that this type of sex is entwined with love. How do we do this? With words of course. Words come easily to us and are cheap to use. So as we are hammering away and you are admittedly enjoying this spontaneous and energetic sex we will be telling you things such as:-

“I just had to have you. You were stood there and I was overwhelmed with love for you.”

“I love you so much I needed to have you there and then.”

“You do something to me that makes me almost lose control. That is how much I love you.”

“I am so in love with you I just needed to be inside you.”

“You make me crazy in love, I cannot help myself.”

We reinforce this urgent sex with being linked to just how powerful and amazing our love is. The sex itself feels fantastic and when you hear those magical words being said to you from behind the two are melded together. The sex could not be regarded as romantic but that does not matter. Such rampant desire for you to be taken in this manner can only be a symptom of our love for you. This reinforcement will happen over and over again. From the obvious slow, tender love-making through to the quick knee-trembler on a table through to you fellating us in a parked car, we will cause you to associate all of these sexual acts as being manifestations of our truly remarkable love. Eventually, the word sex becomes eroded and every time we do something which is sexual in nature it is seen as love. Everything we do together in the sexual arena is born of love, is because of love and is a manifestation of love.

You are unable to resist this blurring of the boundaries between love and sex. You are not able to prevent sex actually subsuming the notion of love and cloaking itself in the name of love. This lack of resistance happens for two reasons. Firstly, the nature of our sexual couplings with you is so intense and enjoyable you want them and you want them repeatedly. Secondly, aside from the use of sex as a weapon, during the seduction stage you are being love bombed on lots of different fronts. We are saying beautiful things to you, writing you poems and love letters, buying you gifts, taking you to special places, looking after you when you feel ill, introducing you to our friends and so on. This onslaught of loving behaviour magnifies what we are doing on the sexual side. You are surrounded by loving behaviour so that it permeates into everything that we do with you, including sex. Accordingly, over time sex and love become bound up together. The great sex we provide to you translates as the marvellous love that we have for you. Sex is love, love is sex and it feels amazing causing you to become addicted to the sensation. We create lovesex and it is a powerful way of creating an addiction in you.

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83 Comments

  1. Dearest HG: I was very upset by what a person said to me in the new Gym yesterday. He is a Somatic that I was only acquainted with at the old gym and a semi coterie member of the Narcissist. I was on the rowing machine. I do not talk to any men there. I have been there since you went on the last beak from the gym. The Somatic loudly: PSE! Where have been? I was looking for you for months at the other Gym. I always feel good when we talk. I wondered what happened to you. I just wanted you to know that I am engaged to be married soon, but please flirt with me anyway if you want. I would not marry anyone that would not allow me to speak to female friends. Me: I no longer go to that other Gym. Congratulations on finding someone. The Somatic: Oh I knew her since we were children. She remembered me, but I did not remember her. I found her online, and then she showed me our childhood photos, and she was fat then. But she is not fat any longer. hahaha. Where are the towels in this location? I gave him one of mine, because the concierge gave me 2, and then he started to work out right in front of me. I rowed a little longer and then subtly left. I had no fire in me after that interaction and came home. The men in the Gym all stared at him because they never saw me speak to any guy in there, but the Somatic did not know this. I came home and started crying. I do not know why. HG, do you know what happened that was so upsetting to me during this interaction with this Somatic? Why was he talking to me and giving me all that info. when I do not really know him the way he interacted as if we were old friends or something? I found it very upsetting for some reason. Can you translate what he was doing with me?

  2. Is it odd that I don’t get in any way turned on by physical pics of men even male models etc

    I need to feel the vibe , the voice , eye contact, smell all the sensory stuff first , if that’s right the guy could look like a troll and I’m hooked.

    Now HGs voice does it oh yeah

    Kiki

    1. Not odd. I used to never be turned on by purely physical appearance either. I was also in a long term relationship and just didn’t see a reason or need to look I suppose? However I also had no idea what turned me on.

      When I dated the narc that all changed for me drastically. He was NOT my type phsycialy, and my long term relationship was with someone who was my ideal type physically. But The narc and I had chemistry, regardless of how he used it to control or not.

      For myself I realized I did not enjoy physically intimacy therefore…. I wasn’t not noticing men. Now that I know I can enjoy that kind of intimacy. I find myself far more attracted to different types of men.

      I think it’s great you enjoy connection. That’s means you are not superficial, you’re interesting, geniune and authentic.

      That’s wonderful. Never loose that.

    1. Nothing sexual… dam… I wouldn’t wanna hear you when you really get going!

      (All in jest) you do you BV

      1. empath007: I perceive that we could learn a few things from her for future reference. Let her speak!

    2. BVJ, for some reason your avatar reminds me of the band Faster Pussycat 🤷‍♀️😂

      1. This is a true photo of me. My mother was a French cat, and having been kicked out of Poland, my father was a stray, alley cat. So, I guess you might say I am a Freland, Pussycat.

          1. He, and I, go way back; hence the song he wrote for me: “What’s New Pussycat?”

            You make me purrrrrrr, HG……

  3. If I could just have those legs for one hour to do as I please… those legs, with my lips, and. tongue, and perhaps a few of my other body part s could join the party… it would be.perfect. It could be pitch black if you wish . I need not see you. I just feeeel my way. Your .scent would be my road map your taste would keep my cravings for you fiercely untamable unstoppable.. I know you are taken. Is just a fantasy. Those legs inspire me

      1. I really must, Empath007… but, those legs! He’s such a tease! I’m about ready to order myself a blowup HG Doll (perhaps he would be so kind as to give the exact measurements?). Maybe even a robotic HG Doll; I’ll deal with the gaslighting, lies, mind-games, triangulation and even the dreaded Silent Treatment as long as there is ongoing sex, in every imaginable way, and in every imaginable place. Robots don’t get tired. He is a tease! It drives me crazy.

        1. No but… tell us how you really feel.

          Haha! All good HG knows he posts those stallion legs at his own risk 🤣

          1. If I explained how I ‘really’ feel, WordPress might kick me off their entire platform. meeEEEOW

        2. Blue Velvet—true story. I’m a nurse and had a painful shot to give for STD treatment. He told me he was getting a damn doll next time!

          1. Lorelei: What is the shot procedure and what is in it and where do you shoot the male and the female?

          2. Shot in the butt. Pills by mouth. Plus they can’t have any booze for a few days if they get Flagyl or they come back vomiting.

        3. You can give your specifications for one and there are companies specializing in these prototypes in Japan, including body type, hair color and texture and skin tone, and eye color and body measurements, etc. and they speak conversationally, so you could bring one of your favorite HG Tudor tapes or interviews for the voice specification. They are costing around twenty thousand U.S. Dollars and up, $20,000.00 and up. But, it’s only money. True Story.

          1. Hmm, toys simply don’t have strong enough ‘suction power’ or grip tight enough to whatever they are being stuck on… walls, chairs, ceilings, doors, bouncy balls, dining room tables, etc. Any recommendations, ladies, for us impassioned, more adventurous riders?

        4. Slap yourself girl….snap out of it!! Lol
          (The stallion has a micro penis) and a smaller brain and heart girl

          1. Jacqueline,

            Thank you; that did it for me. I really do feel so much better, now.

    1. I am the person that requested the tangerine (not red) shorts to return as the avatar, to the best of my knowledge. My good deed of the day, for sure. You are welcome.

      1. These legs are different than the other ones that sported the red shorts awhile back. These legs are more sensitive, giving, needful, wanting, hungry, even a bit vulnerable. I feel as if I must take great care of these legs. It is as if they “need” me… to kiss them up and down, bathe them with my tongue, and drench them in sweet and spicy scented fuel .

  4. My narc followed these manipulations, but he also added this strange part where he feigned concern, saying I was “addicted” to being around him, speaking to him, and he was “sorry” but I “wouldn’t be hearing from him ever again”. Also, he would tell me a lot that he wasn’t attracted to me even when he was “showing it”. I didn’t get this lovebombing business, ever, however. How dreadfully confusing this all is.

  5. Big hugs E007, you can do this, just take one day at a time. The momentary pleasure you will get if you reconnect, is just that, and is not worth the amount of pain that will follow. Focus on that! Really hard!! If you don’t like meaningless sex, focus on that too, because that is also what it will be. Chin up, girl!! X

    1. Thanks BU. You’re right the meaningless sex is a good focus.

      I am now completely forgetting all of the horrible way he made me feel and all the good memories are coming to surface now. I wasn’t really expecting that I had been angry for
      So long. So now
      I have to find a way to deal with the “good” memories flooding back.

      1. E007 – those “good” memories are tainted now…you may as well have been hearing lines from a play because that’s all they are! They are not personal to you. Heck, he’s probably done exactly the same things with you as he did with others (sorry to be brutal, but it worked for me. Realising I wasn’t “special” nearly killed me, but it also saved me). You need to kick yourself up the arse, or, I can swim across the Pond and do it for you. He’s a conman, never forget that!! You are better than him, never forget that either! X

        1. You’re right. For some reason I have a hard time seperating all the fake lines that were told outside the bedroom vs inside. Probably because I actually knew a lot of detail about his intimate
          Relationship with his gf before me (as she told me…. we worked together and I was traingulated with her)

          Anyways. I keep reasoning with myself it was only seemingly different because our seductions were fit for the individual… but I don’t want to let go of the fact it felt geniune at times. Even though it was not.

          Thanks for you post.
          It is a helpful reminder I appreciate it.

        2. Oh btw BU when you say “swim across the pond”… what do you mean? How do you know we are not geographically close?

          1. I just assumed you were US as I’m UK. If you’re UK I can jump on a congested motorway instead 😂

          2. Indeed, and don’t get me started on “smart” motorways. They are no fun at all!
            Nice to see your legs out again, HG! 😉

          3. HG,
            You missed your calling- you are flowing over with corny dad jokes! Legs are a great support to you!! Don’t get me wrong- I love them!

          4. As long as you don’t add “dad dancing” to your repertoire, HG, we should be ok!

          5. Ha! It’s a full moon!! No wonder!! NA and MB, did you leave the dungeon in better condition than when you got there I hope??

  6. Empath—I would only want someone for sex. Nothing else. Guess who the men typically are that just have sex? Christ!

    1. Precisely. That’s kind of part of the problem is that I know he’s fine with me being an IPSS or DSL so I wouldn’t have to say much. Even as I type that though it doesn’t seem
      Worth it.

      I do have a very tempting neighbor who gave me his number the other day…. but he has a GF …. so chances are he’s a narc…

      Oh the sacrifices I make to try and be a decent human 🤣

      1. Exactly empath! I know.. I don’t want someone around regularly and I don’t need a “partner” because I find the constant interaction a pain in the ass. I have my own money, I don’t want to go to football games or some other nonsense because it’s all about me. (Really—I don’t want to entertain some stupid man.)
        I only want them for one thing. Well for Christ sakes only narcissists are perfect for such an arrangement. They can keep their flowers too. Ridiculous.

        1. Haha! That made me laugh… thanks for
          That. It is precisely how I feel
          At this moment in my life. I have lived with them, picked up after them, dealt with thier emotional numbness, cooked for
          Them, taken care of them while sick…
          I’m over it (for now) I want someone to please me in the bedroom
          With no drama attached. But if they are married or
          Have a long term relationship I would just feel too much guilt stripping me
          Of all enjoyment haha

          1. Seriously though.. The ones worthy of sleeping with all are worthless outside of the bedroom. The ones you want to spend time with suck in bed and then you are set up to feel bad that you like them but they can’t.. Why is sex so hard for decent men? Why can’t they figure it out?

          2. I know it’s not that difficult… take something you like about me… embellish it.

            I give you a suggestion? Maybe take it.

            And just… tell me lies tell me sweet little lies 🤣

          3. Ladies I agree with you but I’ve always found if I allow a guy to be intimate with me I already really like him and once I’ve been intimate I get very very bonded to him
            Even if he is hot and I don’t feel a connection I turn stone cold almost fridgid

            I wish I could have lots of great sex with guys but I’m hardwired to make a connection and that can hurt big time .

            Off to Ann Summers with me already

            Kiki

          4. I understand Kiki. I have only ever been In relationships so never experinced a one night stand or anything like that.

            But I haven’t been in a relationship for a while so my standards are starting to want to bend a little 🤣

          5. Kiki: You sound apologetic about not being promiscuous. Remember, here are plenty of women that do not sleep around , but such women are not interesting in Hollywood and in the Media. And, it is just not politically correct to say that you can attach but not to many men. You are not alone at all. It is just not in style to discuss the more selective women these days. So be it. What is in style one decade is out the next decade, so to speak anyway, so just stay true to yourself, in season and out of season.

  7. Yes. This is my biggest issue right now.

    I haven’t told anyone IRL. But I have not been Intimate with a man In a year. After nearly 20 years In relationships this is the longest stretch I’ve ever gone without and it is really starting to take its toll on me. So much so… I have been tempted to reach out to the narc on a few occasions the last few weeks.

    The normal I had a long term relationship with is more then willing to get back together with me but I hated our sex life, and quite frankly after the narc I don’t think I could summon the energy to fake interest with him again. I don’t think that’s fair to either one of us.

    The narc was 100% a sex love addiction. But it was the most unhealthy relationship I was ever in. And I know I need to keep in control. But I am really struggling

    1. Sorry to hear that, sister:(. Before my ex departure, I did something really unhealthy- he would come to my place each weekend, we would go out and logically, could be intimate again – and we were already divorced.Thus, it took longer to break free – although I can separate just sex and love- sex relationships. Do not do this mistake, – please – going back to Narc just for sex.
      Long story in my case – lavished gifts in order to entangled me back, even coming back in Oz in 2 occasions and organising a road trip to UK as he had some job offers and wanted to see if I would like UK ( yes , I did but not living there with him) , me feeling the urge to be his shelter again. Finally , I am free.
      I know how you feel – it was damn hard to date after all emotional wounds still hurting. On the surface you can appear your usual self, but nobody can see yours scars inside your soul and heart.
      I indulged occasionally with ONS but I don’t recommend that because it might be very dangerous unless you know a bit the person and know they are not on drugs, medications, not violent, not in any relationship. Many young professional guys take recreational drugs so be aware ! Someone might look Mr Nice guy with a good job and in reality, being an absolute a**.
      So you must be really cautious.

      But one night of physical joy with your ex Narc is not worth, trust me . The aftermath is – more and more emotional thinking and falling in the trap again. I have been there before.

      1. Thank you Claire. I really appreciate that honest heartfelt response and found it very helpful. I will re read it in the next few days to remind myself its not the right thing to do.

      2. “But one night of physical joy with your ex Narc is not worth, trust me . The aftermath is – more and more emotional thinking and falling in the trap again. I have been there before.”

        This is what I tell myself after I re-indulge again and again and again with my Piano Boy MMRN. I too, am alone and have needs. And he will meet those needs and then he will shelf me and disappear. Saying “I cannot be that close to you, it is making me uncomfortable”.

        And like you it takes a toll on me as well. He knows this and I am sure it is part of his push and pull game.

          1. HG

            “Forget about what he knows
            You know he is a narcissist. GOSO.”

            If I could like this comment 100 times, I would.
            I’ll have to be content with just the once, so one golden star for you.

          2. HG
            Hahaha!
            I only have the option of gold here with WordPress. For platinum, I’ll have to go and smile at the relevant minions to facilitate a change in star rating…..

  8. HG couldn’t a love sex addiction also be the case in a situation of sexual abuse that continues over a long period of time from childhood to adulthood, especially if this is a case of imprinting?

      1. I never knew this; it is something new I have learned, here, today. I have always had “issues” with this since I was a young child, barely even a toddler; an undeniable, unhealthy fascination that remained the focus of my existence, from then on, and only increased in severity. Only medication has been able to provide relief in order to live a functional life.

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