Chaos, Chaos Everywhere!


One of the defining features of our behaviour is the association with chaos. Our arrival into somebody’s life is described as a whirlwind. We are regarded as tempestuous, a tornado and a flailing dervish. People describe how we leave a trail of destruction behind us.

Reference is made to the drama and the rollercoaster ride that people experience when they become sucked into our sphere of influence. The honest amongst them admit that at the time they found this intoxicating, the excitement of wondering what was going to happen next, the thrill of the unpredictable and the allure of the heightened activity that surrounds us.

Others bemoan the mayhem that occurs, the random behaviour and the lack of certainty, never mind from one day to the next, but hour to hour. People conclude that we are creatures of chaos. That conclusion is wrong.

We are ordered and methodical in everything that we do – at least, that is accurate with regard to the regulation of the narcissism and it asserts control. There is order within but chaos without. Our narcissism is ordered, it focuses on the moment. It is methodical and incessant in its application as a self-defence mechanism.

The narcissism ascertains on a daily basis our need for fuel. It will establish which sources will provide that fuel and how this will be achieved. It will regulate our network of supply like a technician overseeing the electricity grid of a country. Where there is a risk of disruption to that supply it seeks to organise a contingency. The more evolved the narcissist the greater the availability and that contingency and the sooner it can be utilised.

Should we apply our energies to solving the disruption or should we replace it as quickly as possible? Our narcissism monitors and observes the world around us to ensure that our lifeblood is supplied effectively and efficiently. We identify our fresh targets and then our narcissism will assiduously plan how that person will be seduced.

We gather intelligence about that individual, what they like and dislike, who they socialise with, how strong their family connections are as we build up a dossier all about them. There is no random selection of our targets. We cannot leave such important matters to chance.

For the more evolved of our kind, we must undertake keen preparatory work so that when we strike we succeed and our target is ensnared. Once that person has been lured into our grasp we then structure our treatment of him or her. How might we best extract the juiciest fuel from them during the golden period? Where else should we be obtaining fuel from during this time? What threats exist to affecting or interrupting the supply of fuel from this appliance? These thoughts and many others filter through our minds although for most of our kind, this all occurs in the unconscious.

You may think that we suddenly flip from pleasant to nasty. Yes, I will admit that that is the appearance we give when we engage such a volte face. The reality is that such a change has been carefully considered and orchestrated to achieve the maximum impact where the Greater of our kind functions.

The apparent sudden shift from calm to volcanic eruption has been calculated to bring about the assertion of our superiority, control and the provision of fuel. Our rage will spiral out of control but the unleashing of that rage was a considered act. It is not the haphazard heated fury that sprays from the Lesser or the passive aggressive Cold Fury that leaks from the Mid Range Narcissist.

Once the spark has ignited the flames it however there may be no telling how hot the flames will burn and for how long, but we decided to create the spark. Each word and gesture has been considered and reflected upon in order to ascertain how effective it will be in furthering our aims. We plan an onslaught of affection which appears like a sudden storm, yet we planned this dizzying and disorientating display. The sudden appearance of silent treatment and its duration has all been worked out beforehand.

The difference is that there is some form of planning about everything we do before  the chaos is unleashed. For most of our kind, this planning is done unconsciously and it may only be very short in nature, but it is there although the narcissist will not be consciously aware of it. The Lesser´s narcissism calculates the response on his behalf in an instant and deploys one of a small portfolio of manipulations. The chaos is designed in the unconscious, by the narcissism and is quick, fierce and brutal. The Lesser´s chaos is there for control, a blunt instrument and he cannot even ascertain what made him unleash it.

The Mid Ranger´s narcissism will function with increased calculation, yet once again it is unconscious and the Mid Range does not sit and plot. The chaos is there but lack the brutality but is rather of the subtle, disorientating kind. Chaos reigns through the confusion and bewilderment that is created. The Mid Ranger understands that the outcome is for a reason separate from the real reason that the narcissism has acted in the way that it has. The chaos was created for control, the Mid Range is allowed to believe that your actions caused him to react as he did.

For the Greater, should the deep-seated malice be called upon, then the effect of our careful scheming is the oxymoron of a contrived, carefully controlled chaos – the chaos is yours.

The outcome of our love bombing is a torrent of whirling and tumbling affection. Our campaigns of mistreatment seem to burst out of nowhere, assailing you from random directions like staccato machine gun fire. We lift you up, spin you around, turn you upside down and shake you all about.

It is a chaotic process but it is the outcome that contains the chaos as we unleash it from within.

As Friedrich Nietzsche put it, “One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”

25 thoughts on “Chaos, Chaos Everywhere!

  1. Renarde says:

    As Friedrich Nietzsche put it, “One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”

    Oh how strange! A midranger once said that to me. We were not intimate but I liked the quote so much I put it on a SM profile.

  2. lisk says:

    I was reading through this with my Narc boss in mind.

    She portrays a sense of calm, control, and intelligence, but her methods are “of the subtle, disorientating kind” and the whole place is a mess with no one really knowing what’s going on at any moment because she is always changing things up, seemingly at her whim.

    Now I understand “whim” to mean—“as I need fuel at any given moment.”

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Precisely Lisk. When one understand the narcissistic dynamic and the behaviour of our kind, it opens up so much understanding about things all around you. Many people comment to me in consultation how liberating it is. Good identification.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        It is truly liberating, HG.

    2. Asp Emp says:

      Great comment, Lisk, which also describes the higher-up at work that I knew. It was utter chaos and she caused it to happen, simply by giving one set of instructions to one person that affected the whole local working environment.

  3. fiddleress says:


  4. Gina says:

    My ex MMRN created a ton of chaos, mostly financial. I suppose that was because it caused me the most distress. It’s hard to believe but he did many things that caused damage to himself in order to hurt me, which seems counter intuitive for a narc. Either that or he’s just stupid, which has crossed my mind as well.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It indeed appears as stupidity from your perspective.

      The narcissism only wants control, everything else is up for grabs meaning there will be collateral consequences. Upper echelon narcissists gain and maintain control either with conscious regard to those collateral consequences (Greater) or their narcissism operates in a manner to usually cater for them through facade management (although that is not always perfect in its operation) ( UMR and some MMR). Lower echelon narcissists end up causing problems for themselves (and others) because their less evolved narcissism is unable to cater for collateral consequences. Upper Echelon operates through the need for control AND catering (as far as possible) for collateral consequences. Lower Echelon operates through the need for control and does not cater at all or only periodically for collateral consequences.

      See “Finally Understanding Wounding” in the Knowledge Vault for more about how this operates.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Yes, for years, I could not understand the ‘stupidity’ of various past narcissist’s behaviours.

        Now, it all makes sense, HG. It still causes some ‘WTF’ moments, even if I know why.

        To read your words “although that is not always perfect in its operation” regarding the ‘facade management’ of ie higher-ups at work, the Lessers at work (LOL) – I can now, rest my mind knowing that it was not my ‘ballsy’ demeanour that ‘undid’ them from time to time (I am laughing…….) – it was perceptions! And my instinctive grenades (the ones that I would ‘class’ as ‘narc-ems’ ;-)).

      2. Gina says:

        While looking for a lost link in my trash yesterday I noticed the narc had emailed me. I’ve been out three years this month haven’t had contact for two years (aside from the kids talking about him). I know I am not immune as I have been thinking about the email since then. Do I answer or ignore, do I act indifferent or do I try and jab him…..the email itself is really stupid and could cause chaos if I let it by joining in. I now always end up ignoring him. I feel that it’s hard on the kids to have their parents hate on each other but getting dragged back in is worse. My life has only gotten better without him in it, I’m just hoping for indifference at some point.

  5. Em says:

    My UMRN has changed tack – now openly on dating site and fb.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Why are you looking, Em?

      1. Em says:

        I know – it’s the only question to ask. I’m bored and miss the attention I suppose. I’m curious. I can see the picture he’s painting of himself. Opera, classical music, concerts, doctor, walking, swimming, sailing, Romance. He popped up on fb a few weeks ago now I know he’s building the facade again – lots of smiley faces incase the new person wants to check him out plus no energy consumed- I blocked him. Then this week he popped up on a dating site I’m on and wrote wonderful stuff about my photo and how it makes his heart skip and he nearly faints when he looks at me. I know he’s sent that to 100 other people. His profile says he’s romantic. He is not!! All far reaching things without energy or real contact. He will use porn and phone sex for sex. One of his signature things is to play piano down the phone to you so u think it is romance. It just means he doesn’t have to talk. Then he goes into dirty talk. He’s at home stuck indoors without an IPPS- it’s ideal for him to write all this stuff that attracts women. He even said he goes walking with people (i took that to mean new dates) 2m apart. I said How ideal is social distancing for you – he got the hump – he can play without getting close, he can flirt and tantalise and be romantic with no physical closeness. He can make those women want him.
        He’s gone into hiding – I can’t see when he’s online now. But he can see me. I need to block him. I suppose I always have a glimmer of hope. I feel sorry for those unknowing victims. He talks in his profile about doing ‘silly’ things together which sounds sweet to a new comer but they don’t know he really does think it is silly. His messages to me are all about how I make him feel. Him him him. He’s looking for a new Ipps because in his profile he wants to introduce them to his adult children. He never did that with me because unknowingly I was a DLS. I know it’s all fake. But I miss him.
        He’s messaging me again.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Impose no contact, you are keeping the electronic conduit open and as you can see, you are being hoovered. Lock it down, now.

          1. Em says:

            Ive blocked him. 😔

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Good start.

        2. FYC says:

          Em, I honesty believe you are not missing him, you are missing the idea of him. You know he is not the projection you came to crave. Stay strong and seek other avenues of healthy appreciation of you. This will ultimately only hurt you and cause greater loneliness. You deserve far better.

  6. njfilly says:

    Aren’t chaos, controlled chaos, and creating order out of chaos the principles of Free Masonry and/or Satanism?

    1. fiddleress says:

      njfilly: I don’t know about free Masonry or Satanism, but although I am not a religious person, I had to delve into the stories of the Bible in relation to my studies.
      In Genesis, at the outset of the creation of the world, you find the term ‘tohu bohu’, which means chaos/emptiness. And it is by separating (importantly) night from day, the heavens from the earth, and so forth, that God created order in the world, thus putting an end to the original chaos.

      Anyway, I mention this because maybe there lies the link between chaos and narcissism : the need to ‘make one’, in fact, with an other person (especially an IPPS), not tolerating separation, i.e, that other person spending time with friends, or focusing on something else than the relationship with the narcissist.

      Great title for a great article (I love the Nietsche quote !).

      1. Violetta says:

        Othello, as Iago’s manipulations to destroy his trust in Desdemona progress:

        Perdition catch my soul
        But I do love thee! And when I love thee not
        Chaos is come again.

      2. njfilly says:

        Very interesting. Thank you for sharing that.

      3. ava101 says:

        Make one? They can also create separation and disharmony and differences in interests and character in one second, if they wish.
        More like, they must have order, their order.

        Yea, that tohuwabohu, and illuminati order out of chaos is one and the same principle.

    2. lisk says:

      Oh, interesting. Did not know anything about that.

      There’s a COVID-19 conspiracy theory in there somewhere!

      1. njfilly says:

        I agree. I’m sure there is!

    3. Renarde says:


      How annoying! I had typed out a long message to you only for WP to junk it!

      No one can control chaos. Chaos is entropy which must build up in a closed system. Church of Satan is LA bollocks. Real left hand path is frightening and access to that is granted by true inner plane workings. But energy is neither positive or negative. It just is.

      I was priveledged to have an inner plane initiation in the late summer of last year. There are many planes.

      Most practitioners of the left hand path are about as much use as a potato gun. Thankfully.

      Right hand paths work with chaos. Left hand attempt to control what can not be controlled. However it is also true that out of chaos some order can be obtained. But it is a mere blip in the grand scheme of things.

      This is deep magik. It’s not to be fucked around with.

      What this whole N and E gig is about is the transference of energy. Es have it, Ns want it. There could be a symbiosis in this but Ns get greedy and draw too heavily on the E. The entropy this builds up in the E will ultimately bring some kind of breakdown unless checked. This will usually happen in the IPPS.

      Hope this helps x

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