Why Does The Narcissist Compartmentalise Appliances?



As narcissists we often engage in compartmentalisation. This articles concerns how and why we compartmentalise various appliances in our fuel matrices.

We view our lives as a series of compartments. The compartments are linked and there is an archway from one compartment to another but this archway has been bricked up by us and only we know the secret word that will open up the archway and admit us to the next compartment. You will try and search for an opening so that you may move from one compartment to another but your search will be fruitless. You will rhyme off all the passwords you can think of from ‘open sesame’ through to ‘abracadabra’ but none of them will work. There is a simple reason for that. We want you to stay in your compartment until we come back to it. We do not want you interacting with any of our other compartments because then it makes each area harder for us to control. A greater need for control mean more energy expenditure which will mean that there is less available for me to use to gather fuel and that is not something I can allow to happen.

A blissful domestic set-up will be in one compartment where I play the role of doting husband and caring father. To the external observer who looks in on the scene through the Perspex it appears to be a picture of harmony and good relations. Yet the observer cannot hear the shouting nor listen to your sobs as you are on the receiving end of another tirade. The fearful cries and the scathing admonishments fail to air beyond this compartment. You are not able to escape to another place and reveal what is really going on in this compartment. As soon as I depart to the next one then the brickwork closes behind me with lightning quick speed, trapping you where I want you. Of course I will tell you all about what is happening in the other compartments when I return, so that you will be subjected to tales of my magnificence in the work place and anecdotes about the new ‘friend’ I have in order to create some triangulated jealousy from you.

My work compartment show me as all conquering and masterful yet those that have been subjected to my brutal put downs and suffered from my repeated dumping of work on them as I breeze around town are forbidden from escaping this compartment to pollute the carefully constructed image that I have made for myself.

The members at the golf club who find my boasting odious and have seen me mark down a lower score than that which I had achieved on my score card are unable to blacken my name to my admirers beyond this particular place. Instead I depart the golf club and scurry to the bar where I regale my hangers-on with another story of my five under par round which won the competition. They coo over my success oblivious to what has actually gone on.

Home life, work life, mistress, friends, club, family and more are allotted these compartments. In each one I am a god. I rule supreme able to do as I please so that I can carry forth my stories of heroism into another compartment and there drink deep of their admiring fuel.

I spend much of my time ensuring that the inhabitants of each compartment know about one another, to multiply my fuel of course, but rarely shall I ever allow them to cross paths. This might lead to someone squaring the circle and working out what is behind my carefully orchestrated campaigns of divide and conquer. A must never speak to B who must not be allowed to tell C what really happened. I must maintain my constructed world where these people are little more than dolls in a huge segregated dolls’ house. I put them in poses and play with them so that I can create a scenario by which I can brag to others in the next room about. If they ever escaped and managed to follow me through these archways so they could compare what I have said with what has actually happened I would be truly finished. Sometimes this happens and then the compartment must be set ablaze, scorched from the record and denied an existence. Next time this compartment will be refurbished, repainted and with new dolls put in place. I must control everything around me. Everyone in their place and a place for everyone.

22 thoughts on “Why Does The Narcissist Compartmentalise Appliances?

  1. mollyb5 says:

    Hg do you ever entertain the thought of writing a book with an empathic man ? Two male opinions and thoughts

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Lorelei says:

        HG. Do you think an arsonist that hikes his legs up on two big trucks would go out with me? How do I find out? Would he want to move in and could I get him to wear clean clothes?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I´d say he would have a burning love for you.

          1. Lorelei says:

            I feel my temperature rising.
            Is it COVID or is it a man with two alphabet characters for a name? I see Elvis gyrating to burning love!

  2. Leolita says:

    just found out that this last year, after I was hoovered back, the looser has had another woman all the way. When I confronted him from time to time on things that made me suspicious that there was something going on, he (1) always denied it, (2) got angry, and then (3) gave me an AST (and often blocking me) for some days. Every time. He insisted that he was not having sex with any other women (oh those lies) There has been devaluation also, which made me realise there had to be other women/ another woman.

    Last year I saw a woman wearing his clothes (a former friend of mine). I also saw her some months later, walking his dog. I asked him about it, but he denied it. I said «I met her. We said hi. She was wearing your clothes». Still he denied. And after some time I did not think about it anymore. I believed him 😳

    Someone recently told me she is the one he has been having sex with this last year 😦 his DLS. He has kept her hidden from me for a year. (Which probably is because she does not have a ‘good reputation’ so to speak, she has serious drug addictions). He has been having sex with the both of us (and others too) for this last year. That explaines a lot of his behaviour; and why he devalued me from time to time. (I have taken all kinda of tests yes, and fortunately have not caught an STD or HIV or hepatitt)

    1. Is it likely that he has been lying about having sex with me (and working hard to Get it) while smearing me as the «crazy ex who wont leave him alone»?

    2. He used this year to «compare» us? Guess I was too much of a challenge, so she «won»

    3. Have I been an IPSS this whole time, even though I thought I was the IPPS?

    4. Is it likely that I was hoovered back, primarily (only) for triangulation purposes? «Now I have embedded her former friend (even better)- time to bring her in again»?

    1. Leolita says:

      More questions:

      Is it likely she was promoted from DLS to IPPS? Or has she been the IPPS the whole time? He talked to me and sometimes treated me like I was in a relationship with him, even though I was not. At one point his best (male) friend asked a (male) friend of mine if we were «back together».

      He is not in a ‘formal relationship’ with her. He rarely enters relationships. He rather makes the women accept that it is ‘sex and friendship’ («because I dont want this great thing we have to be ruined, that always happen with relationships»- those are his usual words regarding that). It seems he have spent a lot of time with her, and I realise I have been on the shelf alot. When visiting me his phone was always off and he rarely stayed over, only for a few hours.

      So I realise I was probably not the IPPS but rather an IPSS – and my devaluation happened because I challenged him too often regarding his lies (?)

      1. HG Tudor says:

        He is a narcissist and you have known this for some time. The fixation on what she is manifests high emotional thinking, you do not need to know what he is. You know you must apply GOSO and all you are doing is breaching no contact by pondering what this person is in the fuel matrix. Driven down your ET and if necessary (and through reduced ET you may no longer be interested) and you can revisit this within the safety zone of minimal ET, for now, you must impose and maintain no contact.

        1. Leolita says:

          I asked to gain knowledge and to conquer the gaslighting I have been subjected to. Of course I ask while I am interested.

          1. Renarde says:


            With the greatest of respect, HG has been very generous.

            Arrange a consult. He will give you the answers.

          2. Leolita says:

            Yes, HG absolutely is very generous and I am very thankful for all the insight and information he provides. To be able to ask questions here is very helpful. I am going to work on my NC regime and keep (re)reading and building my Logic defences.

          3. HG Tudor says:

            You’re welcome Leolita.

          4. Renarde says:


            Thank you for taking it in the spirit that it was intended.

            Well done on NC, it’s a very hard thing to do. You are getting there x

          5. Leolita says:

            I was upset and consumed by my ET that day, not my best day. sorry for seeming ungrateful and demanding. Your comment was constructive and well put. Thank you for your support! ❤️

          6. Renarde says:


            I suspected you might be a good sort. Now I know you are.

            No need to apologise, I tried to kill the UMS with a lump hammer by throwing it at him once when my ER was off the scale. To this very day I regret that I didn’t pick up the ball pein. I have a wicked aim.

            Right between the eyes.

            Narcs eh?

            You will always have my support. 💛🦊🎩

          7. Leolita says:

            Renarde ❤️ I know the feeling! You have all my support too! ❤️

    2. HG Tudor says:

      1. Yes.
      2. To control you both as part of his fuel matrix. She did not “win”. How is it winning being ensnared by an abuser?
      3. You need to utilise the Fuel Matrix Consultation – that is what it is there for.
      4. You were hoovered to control you and provide fuel.

      1. Leolita says:

        Thank you so much for answering.
        By «won», I meant the «competition» we did not know we were attending. I do not regard it as having lost. I have finally gotten free and will do my best to make sure this is not happening again.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You have not achieved freedom yet, you have more work to do, but you are heading in the right direction.

          1. Leolita says:

            I realise that my ET is still high and I need to Get that down. I understand that writing about the N will increase it at this point. thank you for pointing this out.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome.

  3. Sweetest Perfection says:

    I love to see I’m not the only one enduring autocorrect BS.

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