The Narcissist Corrupts : Truth Seeker



Truth seeker. The pursuit of the truth. A noble ideal indeed is it not? It sounds as if you ought to be armed with your sword of justice and your shield of purity as you make your way through the badlands in order to find the truth. In fact, this is what you, as an empathic individual is unwittingly doing when you become engaged with our kind.

You are all truth seekers. The empath, the co-dependent and especially the super empath. You want the truth and you will apply your indefatigable spirit to acquiring it without understanding the toll that this misguided folly will have on you as whole. The need to be told the truth, to find it and to know it is a core empathic trait and as you would expect, it leads you into the trap of being ensnared by our kind and is heavily exploited.

Being a truth seeker is a trait of the empath which we corrupt and we are aided and abetted by your emotional thinking. . Those who are empathic tell the truth, but that is because of that other empathic trait honesty. The empath must always establish the truth of a situation, the truth at the heart of an individual and in so doing the allows them to reconcile their own truths.

The empath must know the truth. He or she must not only need to understand why somebody is as they are, but they have to be satisfied that this is the truth of the matter. This desire for the truth makes an empath extremely vulnerable to us since we trade in lies, deal in deceit and all our currency is counterfeit.

Take, for instance, at the outset of the narcissistic dynamic, when we begin our seduction of the empath. He or she wishes to know that this wonderful person is true in their intentions and whilst the empath might be pleased that others talk about how enamoured the narcissist is about them, or how the narcissist seems utterly smitten, the empath must establish the truth form the narcissist him or herself. This of course opens the empath up to the charm, magnetism and allure of the scintillating narcissist as we are only too happy to tell you what you want to hear, to show you what you want to see and to do what you would have us do.

Oblivious to who you are dealing with (until otherwise educated) the empath will, through his or trusting nature and propensity to deal honestly with others, accept what the narcissist says and does. That amounts to the truth. The narcissist is skilled through his mirroring to reflect back at you your own truths and thus as you seek the truth, you are shown it. What you do not realise is that you are looking at your own truth, but since it is your truth and not ours, it is so utterly convincing. The adoration that you exhibit towards us is mirrored and reflect back at you. You wish to seek the truth of that adoration and what do you see? An adoration that is on the same par as your own – how can that then not appear to be the truth. In seeking the truth but looking for it from one who lies so effectively and defrauds with ease, all you find is your own truth, but you fail to recognise it as such and thus you feel you have found the truth and you are convinced that what you see is genuine love, is genuine passion and is genuine adoration.

You might liken it to a person who carries with him or her one half of a precious gem and seeks the other half. This person encounters a mirror, but does not know that it is a mirror and thinks that they see the other half stood before them since it looks so convincing, yet try to touch or grasp or find any depth or substance to this supposed other half and it will not be there. This is what eventually happens when devaluation occurs as you see the reflection and it dawns on you that all you are looking at is what you already had, being made to appear like something more.

Thus in wanting to find the truth and being shown your truth and not ours, you are utterly convinced as to the legitimacy of our love, passion and desire for you. Your truth seeking has made you vulnerable to our deceitful manipulations from the very beginning.

Yet, the matter worsens. Your pursuit of the truth leaves you vulnerable to perhaps one of the most confusing and bewildering aspects of the narcissistic dynamic, the need to establish the truth during devaluation. Once the array of machinations are wheeled out against you, the gas lighting commences, the lies, the insults, the intimidation and so much more is used against you, your quest for the truth has you stuck in the quagmire of our manipulations for a considerable time.

Firstly, you do not accept that this monster which now prevents you from getting a good night’s sleep, erupts at the slightest criticism, becomes demanding over apparently nothing, is the person who you fell in love with or who loves you. This is not the truth that stands before you. The truth must surely have been the person who first seduced you. You know that to be the case because you sought the truth then during the seduction, you saw it and you established it. It is that magical, wonderful, adoring person who seems to have vanished and in its stead you now see some grotesque version of the person you love. That is not the truth that shouts at you and belittles you, that is not the truth that turns each time you want to go out with your friends into a battle and that is not the truth that turns its back on you every night in bed. You want to find the true us, the one you saw and established during seduction and that need, that desire and that pursuit of this truth means you remain in situ, not escaping and allowing our abuses to rain down on you again and again.

Secondly, you experience the downside of our pathological lies during the devaluation. You were lied to, naturally, during the seduction, but that does not matter. You thought it to be the truth and you established it as so and besides, those lies felt good didn’t they? Yet know, the lies wound and hurt, they scar and mark, as we tell you lies about what we have been doing, where we have been and who with. You are no fool, or so you think, for you have followed us, had others report to you and you know the truth of what has been happening. Now you must establish that truth with us. You must seek the truth from our lips without you realising that we will never do such a thing since to do so would be to cede control to you. You have not yet grasped who you are dealing with and thus you remain unaware that we use lies to achieve so much of our aims. Those lies are used to make you dizzy, make you cry, make you exhausted and we keep on going and will not concede to the truth.

How many times have you heard yourself say:-

“Just tell me the truth, that is all I want you to do.”

“Please, stop lying, just tell the truth.”

“If you would only tell the truth.”

“I want the truth.”

“Give me the truth. Please I am begging you.”

Are those phrases and those of a similar kind echoing about your mind now?

Your desire to get to the truth, to hold the truth in front of us and get us to acknowledge it means you become drawn into the circular arguments, the endless arguments, the denial, the switching and the deflections which leave you shattered, mystified and spent. Why can he not see the truth when I do? The Toxic Logic of course, but you are not privy to such information at that time and so you gird your loins, climb back on your steed and ride out once again in the pursuit of the truth. It is no surprise that you then gallop into the swamp and become bogged down by lies, untruths and mendacity.

Thirdly, during devaluation it is often the case that you will turn to others to seek confirmation that the truth you once witnessed is indeed the truth and you can find it once again. You seek the truth from our coterie, our minions and our lieutenants. You go to them and need to ascertain that we are surely a decent person, who is loving and caring are we not? You walk straight into the facade and its false truth. You hear the answers which you want to hear, we are lauded for our generosity, we are praised for our kindness, we are complimented on our good humour, easy charm and reliability. There it is, you have sought the truth once again and you have found it, yet you fail to recognise it as the false truth and the false hope which it engenders. Instead of trying to escape from this devaluation, you remain in place, taking comfort from that the facade has told you and redoubling your efforts to find the truth with us. Thus, you remain and exhaust yourself tilting against the windmill that is us when you think you are slaying the dragon.

Accordingly, your empathic trait of being a truth seeker makes you vulnerable to our seduction and extremely vulnerable to the effects of our mind games, manipulations and habitual lying. Were this where it ends, but your quest for the truth has a further blow to administer to you.

The empathic trait of being a truth seeker heightens your susceptibility to the post escape and post discard hoovers. When we open those shutters and allow the bright, shining light of the golden period to fall upon your face you instantly see that the truth has returned, that false truth which you were shown what feels like such a long time ago. Yet, all is not lost, the truth has returned, it is in your grasp and all you need to do seek it out and embrace it is to return to our fold. By seeking our the truth once again you fall prey to our hoovers and our control over you is increased again.

The desire to seek the truth is noble indeed but seeking it from one who scorns the truth and takes refuge amongst deceit, lies and fraudulent intent can only result in this character trait of yours gaining the epitaph of being something which we, the narcissists, corrupt.

19 thoughts on “The Narcissist Corrupts : Truth Seeker

  1. Melmel says:

    Another difficulty the Truth Seeker faces: diving too deep into the quagmire of the narcissist’s psyche – to the point where the empath doubts their own Truth.
    Has anyone else experienced this? When individuals and institutions refuse to admit and acknowledge the impact of the narcissistic dynamic to the point of making the Truth Seeker believe that they are, as the narcissist would have them believe “truly unhinged”?
    Paranoid, neurotic, even narcissistic (likely owing to behaviours that are powered by Emotional Thinking which inevitably corrupt the empathic traits and cause the narcissistic traits to rise to prominence)?
    The more I seek out the truth about the narcissist in order to armour myself against future ensnarement, the more the Truth Seeker in me must examine and question my own behaviours, motivations, and personality construct. Because the narcissist believes there “must be something wrong with me”, as a function of the mirroring I end up believing this as well. I’m not content to accept this without answering the burning question: what IS wrong with me? This leads me into a whirlpool of spinning thoughts that end up in confusion and distress.
    To know what is happening within the narcissist dynamic may be enough to protect me against future narcissists; however, it does nothing to protect me from my current enslavement. To GOSO, I need the policy makers to recognize the danger I am in, but this is a hopeless endeavour because the institution is as enslaved to the narcissist dynamic as I am.
    I wonder, for so many who are trapped in physically and psychologically abusive Intimate Partner relationships with a narcissist… How do you overcome the financial, physical, and emotional enslavement without external validation that allows you the physical and financial space to escape? Thankfully my situation is less dire or I do not think I would have the fortitude to even arm myself with the knowledge I need…
    I still have so much to learn, but the darkness overwhelms.

  2. Crystal says:

    Ok. So what I just learned here today is that During the seduction period. I made it true. Therefore, I keep wanting the golden period back because I have deemed it to be the truth. Of course it was not. And the reason that We as empathy keep going back after devaluation and denial of evidence and so forth. It is because we know that we are not being dishonest. And we believe we want to show you the narc that you are over reacting . You are not seeing our truth. All the while the devaluation period is actually the most truth we will ever receive. But since we have already felt and believed the good qualities you did show was truth then we are causing all the craziness and the longevity of the pain because we are so confused with in our selves because there is no substance. There is no foundation to hold on to to be able to understand. The point is the truth here is pain and evidence with denial and no solution. The lie is the beauty, the love we felt and the future faking.

    Again it always comes back to we need to believe in us. Because we always fall in love with ourselves first. And then the narc always exposes our own receipt and our own pain and never divulges theirs. Why should he? We are easily manipulated. This game works.

    Am I correct!? Does my perspective make sense?

  3. Fiddleress says:

    It is really important to keep reading and re-reading articles like this one, to be constantly reminded of the way our traits are corrupted by narcissists. I find that it helps me comprehend what is written thoroughly, “organically”, as opposed to only theoretically as was the case at the beginning.

    1. FYC says:

      Wise words, Fiddleress, very true.

    2. heloiseandabelarde says:

      Yes, for one thing it shows how malleable truth is. I am not a patient person so often when meeting a new potential partner ask them, what are your deepest darkest secrets–and share a few of mine. So the ex-narc who was attracted by the truth seeking eyes of his next victim torpedoed himself as follows: turned out his Candidate IPPS had posted all over her social media her support for abiding by COVID restrictions. Meanwhile, he had posted all over his social media his lack of respect for abiding by said restrictions, owing to his assertion that the whole pandemic is a government conspiracy to control him. She questioned him about that and he erupted “that is offensive and the rules here are do not bait me on my web page!”

      Anyway, back to the upfront truth-seeking: I had asked him “are you sanctimonious” and revealed some of my less-favorable character traits in spirit of full disclosure. Needless to say, he has taken me down not only for those character traits–BUT for not telling the truth about them up front! (that speaks to the corruption of honesty chapter HG has posted more recently.) Meanwhile, of course he said he wasn’t sanctimonious…but boy is he! Mirrors within mirrors and HG hits it right on the head!

  4. WokeAF says:

    It’s , I suppose, unfortunate that we need to tangle w the narcs before we find HG.
    I haven’t done the trait detector yet but I suspect Truth Seeker is top of the list . My calling for truth is never satiated
    This trait as it pertains to narcs ,however,is well satisfied here at KTN. You keep me regularly topped up HG!

  5. heloiseandabelarde says:

    So, my ex-narc has been observed love-bombing one of his next victims on social media. Her face and hair look strangely like mine; his love bomb comment to her: “You have the clear eyes of a seeker of the truth. Reminds me of a Frank Sinatra song “I Believe”

    1. Violetta says:

      That song is from the musical How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. At one point in the movie version, ambitious anti-hero Pierrepont Finch sings it to himself in a mirror. That’s about as narcy as it gets.

      1. heloiseandabelarde says:

        Funny, funny, funny, Violetta! And yes, i too should stop stalking his social media…yet that too is pretty funny…

  6. FYC says:

    Very accurate HG. Your ability to share the brutal truth with your readers is one reason why we respect and appreciate you greatly. We will not get this kind of truthful disclosure from any other N. And, of course, your real-life sources are not your readers (except as NITS) and would not have the benefit of this crucial information. I feel for them. EVERY empath needs the truth you impart here.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you FYC.

  7. karmicoverload says:

    I’m so twitchy and on edge all the time. It makes a person crazy. I have even taken to befriending the woman I suspect he is seeing, and making notes every day of how often their Messenger activity synchs up, and if he disappears I can’t relax if he’s out for longer than I would expect. Did they arrange a tryst somewhere half way between their homes? How long would that take? Does he look disheveled and smug when he comes back? It’s a nightmare.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You need to stop that activity forthwith, that will not help you. You need to undertake a narc detector on the suspected narcissist to get an injection of logic and if the individual is a narcissist you then require an immediate and total no contact regime which I can assist you with.

      1. Tired says:

        “You need to stop that activity forthwith, that will not help you. “

        Easier said than done. I know that feeling all too well. The constant “ checking up” on everything. The anguish felt when you can’t verify something, the relief felt when you have.
        It would make anyone go mad.
        When he knew I’d stopped checking up, when he knew I’d let my guard down and trusted him again, it was then he started up the same old sneaky BS.
        I think he enjoyed knowing I was checking up, made him feel somehow important??

        When he’d start up again it was if ( in my mind ) he was saying, “ don’t ignore me, make it all about ME again “ .

        Am I right, HG ?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Consciously he thought he was enjoying it, unconsciously this was the effect of fuel and the acquisitor of control.

          Of course it is easier said than done, but stating that still means you have not done anything to address your situation. Remarking about its difficulty, how unfair the situation etc are all accurate but will they resolve the situation? No.

          The first step is to actually take one.

          1. Tired says:

            I know you’re right, HG . Some days I don’t even want to think about it. I want to pretend it’s not happening. A bad dream and I’m going to wake up.
            I have other things going on in my life, other people to help and worry about. I resent having to expend energy on him when others are much more deserving of my time and attention.
            It just kills him to see me talking to those other people. He hates that I have a life aside from him.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Spend your energy on yourself then rather than commenting about how your resent expending energy on him.

      2. karmicoverload says:

        I know I need to do this. Unfortunately there is a cash flow incompatibility. I am saving up.

    2. lisk says:


      This is bad. This is very, very bad. I know because I have been there, have tried to spy and catch like you are doing.

      Please at least stop hanging out with the woman. You run the risk of getting caught and *really* looking crazy.

      Do not risk giving the narcissist any good reason to smear you.

      And just trust your intuition. You do not need hard evidence to know that the narcissist should be out of your life.

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article

How to Stop the Hoovers

Next article

What Goes On Below