I Spy A Private Eye



I have often mentioned the empath’s need to know. Initially this is borne out of your desire to know and to understand for the purpose of enabling you to discharge your caring and nurturing abilities. Only by understanding and knowing what is wrong, what is going through someone’s mind or understanding their situation are you able to assist and help. Some people like to know because they are inquisitive. Some people like to know because they are downright nosey. We like to know so we can use it against you or to further our own schemes. You like to know so you can help. This is a core trait of the empathic individual and it is not something that you are ever able to let go.  Even when we are subjecting you to the devaluation you are unable to accept that it is happening without being able to understand why. You need to know. We know you need to know and we exploit this. This is why we engage in denial, deflection and circular arguments because we are entirely aware this inability to allow you to know and to understand draws fuel from you but also keeps you doing this. Even when we discard you, you still want to make sense of what has happened. You need and want to know why did we treat in the way we did, why did we do all those awful things to you and why were you not enough? By tapping into this trait of yours we also ensure that you have to know what we are doing once we have flung you to one side.

You will ask our friends what we are doing and pose similar questions to our family in a bid to ascertain what we are now doing without you. You ask your friends to spy on your behalf, gathering information about the places that we have been to and the people we have fraternised with. You see, if you try to escape from us then you cannot get rid of us as we appear with Hoover in hand ready to suck you back. However, if we have decided that we have extracted as much fuel as we possibly can from you (at least for now) we will do our utmost to remain invisible and keep you guessing. We want you wondering what we are doing? We want you to be sat contemplating where we are and who we are with? Are we happy? Are we thinking of you?

This need to know becomes overwhelming and you then embark on your role as private eye. You will stalk our Facebook page in order to gather information. We will block you in order to increase the work for you but you will use a friend’s profile to look or create a false one. You will drive past the places you know we might be, home, work and recreational and social places hoping to catch a glimpse of what we are doing so you can satiate that need to know. You will create a new profile and follow us on Twitter, checking each day to see what we have written. Is there a new girlfriend? What is she like? Are we taking her to the places we took you? Who are these people in the photographs and where are they taken? We know you will be spying and the more you try and learn the more questions will arise. We use obsessing as a method of manipulation and this continues in this mould.

Our everpresence will keep reminding you and you do not help yourself as you repeatedly reinforce our presence in your mind by searching, checking and spying. You will search our name on Google, examine our work website for any changes, check on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn. Like a detective hunting for clues you will keep at it each day. You create a habit in order to feed the addiction which is the need to know. We know you will do this, we engineer and we encourage this behaviour in you. The knowledge that you are engaged in these practices gives us fuel. We cannot see you or hear you yet we know you are spying on us. We know what you are like and we can picture you earnestly hunched over your keyboard as you stare at your monitor. Don’t deny it because when we do Hoover you it is one of the first things we tease from you. How many times a day did you check our Facebook profile? You will admit you did it at least three times a day and tell us how much you missed us. You will ask about the new person we were with and who you saw posts referring to and all the photographs that we displayed. Did we miss you too? You always ask this as well. Why? Because you always need to know.

2 thoughts on “I Spy A Private Eye

  1. Pingback: I Spy A Private Eye ⋆ NarcTopia
  2. Renarde says:

    The picture of the camera. And I know of such matters, deeply reminds me of a Leica.

    My PN used to endlessly twirl about such things. He taught me the nuts and bolts of photographpy (including developing your own prints) but it was the UMS who explained truly, in a sexy physics sense, about depth of field and Aperture Priority. He drew it one day on the whiteboard in our kitchen. Then I understood. Optics. Diffraction.

    A lot of men PRETEND to be good at photography because nearly all women want to be celebrated for their beauty. Vanity.

    It’s one of the hands down easiest ways to abuse. You get them with their knickers off and the rest is inevitable. So I say, never EVER trust a man. Certainly never ever give them money. I only ever did it once. It was a deal. You take pictures of me. For free. I’m not THAT daft and I take the copyright on the pictures and you can use them in advertising.

    And when I was semi naked, what did he do? Yup. He didnt get very far. I pushed him off. Then when he tried to control me, well it ended badly. I told him explicitly that he had gone too far. Use my image and I will sue you. I never signed a models waiver release you see.

    The pictures he took of me where ok. But not technically good. I have done better and frequently so. It was an interesting experience but not one id ever repeat.

    I get the good Boudouir Experience. Can be a massive confidence booster. Never ever do them with a guy. They only want one thing. You see the pictures he took of me showed in my eyes that I was weary.

    As to the Leica in the image. PN used to say he desperately wanted one. In the old days you used to have numerous kinds of film. 120 mm for twins lens such as the Rolliflex and the Rollicord. 35 mm both sorts. Film and transperencies. He once said that at his ‘photography club’ someone gave a presentation using a Leica. Projected on the screen. He said you cut the images with a knife. The optics are that good. Pin sharp crikey?

    So we went to London. A dealer where he blew 1k on one. Not even a SLR.

    Hes probably taken pictures of flowers and his pathetic cock for his mistress. What. A. Waste.

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