The Middle Mid Range Narcissist´s Portentous Pity Play Manipulation

THE-MIDDLE-MID-RANGE-NARCISSIST´S-PORTENTOUS-PITY-PLAY-MANIPULATION

 

“You know you really shouldn’t get involved with me you know, I am damaged.”

“Well, it is a little bit late for that isn’t it? I am already involved.”

“I know and I am glad to hear you tell me that, really I am, because I want you more than anything. I have not wanted anybody else in the way I want you but it is because of that I think you would be better off without me.”

“Don’t be silly, what do you mean by that?”

“You are so wonderful, so perfect. I truly have not met anyone like you. It is as if everything I have ever wanted and needed in somebody has been put together and rolled into one.”

“That is lovely of you to say, but I am not perfect, far from it.”

“To me you are.”

“Bless you, that is so sweet. I think you are wonderful too, not at all damaged. I cannot believe you said that.”

“Well I am.”

“Not from where I am sitting. You are incredible. Thoughtful, loving, attentive, interesting, sensual and so passionate. Those are just a few of the things that spring to mind when I think about you.”

“What else?”

“Oh let me see. Generous, yes generous and kind, considerate and successful. Entertaining as well. I don’t think I know anybody who can light up a room like you do. I love to watch you when you have everyone’s attention, I can see how much they love to listen to you.”

“Oh you are just saying those things to make me feel better.”

“No not at all, I mean every word, I really do. I have not met anyone as special as you and that is why I love you as I do.”

“You shouldn’t, I don’t mean to be rude, but you will only get hurt.”

“How? By you?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“I don’t know; I just always seem to mess things up. It may sound strange but somehow I want to think, I mean, I kind of know it should work with you, with you more than anybody else, I suppose I am just terrified that what we have is so wonderful, so perfect that I might do something to ruin it and then you would be hurt and I could not stand for that to happen.”

“You see, there you are again, considerate and kind.”

“I could not live with myself if I hurt you and I just do not want to run that risk of that happening. You do not deserve to be hurt.”

“That won’t happen, I can feel it. What you and I have is something out of the ordinary.”

“Yes we have haven’t we?”

“Absolutely. I love you and you love me and nobody is going to change that.”

“I know, I know, but what if, you know I do something?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, it is just that well, previous relationships have not exactly been successful have they? My track record is not great.”

“No but that wasn’t your fault was it? Look, you told me all about what has happened in the past. Not many men would be so honest as you to admit to what you have gone through. That takes real courage and is typical of the honesty and decency you exude. You are a good man and you have been treated abhorrently by some wicked people. Oooh, if I ever met them, I don’t know what I would do.”

“I knew you would understand. You always do. You get me. They never did you see. I tried you know. I always tried to make it work. I just wanted both of us to be happy but you know when whatever you do is not enough? When no matter how hard you try to please somebody but they always find some kind of fault? That was them. They made me feel like it was my fault a lot of the time. They had that way of twisting everything around so I was made out to be the villain. It is hard to explain it, but that is what they did.”

“I understand. There are some people who just delight in the misery of other people but that is not going to happen with you and me.”

“No?”

“No. We have both suffered previously.”

“I know. That is why I do not want to hurt you, you have had enough from the past and you deserve to be treated properly.”

“Well that is what you do. I could not ask for a better boyfriend, I really could not. You put me first, ahead of everything and you do so much for me. I really do appreciate it and each day I feel more in love with you because of what you do for me.”

“Thank you. That is all I want. Both of us to be happy. I think it must just be because of what has happened in the past, I am worried that this time, having found you, it will go wrong again and you will be hurt and I could not live with that.”

“Honestly, there is nothing to worry about. You have just been made to feel like this because of what they have done to you. It is understandable. I know you won’t hurt me. How could anyone who says the things you say to me ever hurt me? I have never had someone say the wonderful and beautiful things you say to me before. You leave me in tears. Tears of happiness admittedly because you just know what to say, you understand me.”

“Yes. There is a connection and it is deep and meaningful and I do not want that ever to be severed. I will fight to my dying breath to stay connected to you. I want to become you.”

“See, there you go again, saying the most wonderful things.”

“You bring it out in me. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would do.”

“Well you don’t have to wonder do you? You’ve got me and you always will have.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Absolutely.”

“You see I am really in heaven every time we kiss. I don’t ever want to hurt you or lose you.”

“That will never happen. You have me forever.”

“I hope so, I really do.”

“You do. Now, let’s not have any more talk about you hurting me, that isn’t going to happen. We have the rest of our lives to be together and be happy. Let me get another bottle of wine, no, it is my turn, you stay there. You do enough running around after me, let me do something for you for a change.”

“Okay, same again please.”

“Coming right up. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

3 thoughts on “The Middle Mid Range Narcissist´s Portentous Pity Play Manipulation

  1. horseyak says:

    Oh, yes. I know this bastard.

  2. Sherree007 says:

    Wow I thought that conversation was right out my relationship. I would ask him is this going to stay like this forever ? He would say to focus on the here and now .Not to ask that .He loves me and always will. He knew .I broke up with him .The gaslighting and arguments for no reason.I knew something was off .

  3. truthseeker6157 says:

    This article really hits home for me. I’ll take your list and raise you three.
    “You deserve better.”
    “ Being with you was like being in some kind of dream. Then waking up and smelling the coffee. I could never be what you hoped I was.”
    “ I left because I couldn’t understand why someone with pedigree would want a mongrel.”

    These and many more were given to me as reasons for his second disappearance. I don’t know whether he believed what he was saying or not. It’s very possible as a Middle Mid Ranger he did. Either way the end result is the same. It’s warped thinking. Nothing I could have said or done would impact his perspective. His perspective was not based on depth of feeling for me. His perspective was his need for fuel, which he got, from my reaction and my determination to fight for what I thought I wanted.

    Now that I have completed the Empath Detector, I understand why these comments would affect me so much. Really, given my profile, they are a red rag to a bull. They still upset me now, because I am wired to respond in that way. The difference is, now I recognise that and I can do something about it.

    We need to understand the narcissist. But we also need to understand our own individual make up. I think that is when the learning really starts to take place. That is when the penny really starts to drop. I understand now why I responded to certain comments and not others. I am very aware of which kind of narcissist will be drawn to me, but actually, I’m not overly concerned by that. I am far more concerned by which narcissist I will be drawn to, because I think that is where my danger lies. Overall though that overused break up phrase needs to be rewritten. It isn’t “ It’s not you, it’s me.” For us, our parting shot should really be..

    “ It’s not me. It’s you.”

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