Questioning Me
Do feel free to ask me anything you like. I am here for you to dip into my mind and for you to benefit from learning how I view the world. No question is off limits and if you want to establish a dialogue with me, then so much the better. You will be helping me so I can show the treatment team that I am interacting with people in this setting. You can ask me why I do certain things, what am I thinking, what my favourite food is, whatever you like. This is your chance to extract as much knowledge and information from me as you possibly can. If you want to just make a statement, go ahead. Fill your boots. I don’t know you so I won’t fly into a rage (this does happen when people I know question me but that is because they have an agenda – you don’t because we don’t know one another). I look forward to hearing from you.
13,767 thoughts on “Questioning Me”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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My apologies, there was a translation error. I didn’t mean “dramatic.” Here’s the correct version of what I wanted to say:
And I also love how strikingly the titles appear in the video…
First, H.G. Tudor
Then Knowing the Narcissist
And then the ULTRA…
And then they disappear.
Magic…
Anyway, I’m absolutely delighted with this intro!!!
And I also love the dramatic way the titles appear in the video…
First, H.G. Tudor
Then Knowing the Narcissist
And then the ULTRA…
And then they disappear.
Magic…
Anyway, I’m absolutely delighted with this intro!!!
“The Psychopath, Me, Observed”.
How beautifully and poignantly written, I wanted to say… but everyone else gets to listen to HG’s voice, while I’m reading translated subtitles!))
Anyway, once I decided to translate HG’s voice into Russian using an AI program that was supposed to change his intonation as little as possible… In Russian, his voice sounds completely different from how it sounds in English. But it was amazing!! I envy those whose native language is English and who can simply listen and enjoy.
P.S. I remember when I was obsessed with my narcissist, I had this absolutely insane, obsessive desire to become invisible and find myself in his room… to see what he was like, what his face looked like without the mask, when he didn’t have to pretend to be anyone… just what he was like, what he did when nobody was watching.
I fantasised about this hundreds of times (most likely, he was just sitting at his computer). I think I even asked him about it once, and when he asked what I meant, I asked what he was like when he was alone. He replied, “Calm.”
I remember that around that time, a social network appeared where you could visit someone’s profile and see what music they were listening to at that very moment… I googled every single song, listened to every one of them, read the translations of the lyrics…
I WAS COMPLETELY OBSESSED.
Thank goodness he will never know about any of this. I never told him. I don’t think he could have even imagined back then that I would have given anything in the world just to have the chance to watch him when he couldn’t see me.
But all of that feels so distant now, as though it happened to someone else, not to me. Only shadows remain of the feelings I once had.
Thank you, HG, for your work.
It really is fascinating how the human mind works, how something can suddenly trigger memories and feelings that seemed to have disappeared long ago.
I hope that, in moments like these, I’m simply bringing the remaining shards of the past to the surface, one by one, gently pulling them out of the places where they’ve been buried for so long. And I hope that, as each fragment comes out, something inside me is finally healing.
You are welcome.
Mr. Tudor,
If I may, I’m curious about something. I wash my hands quite a bit too. I would say I definitely hit the 20 times a day number as well. How do you keep your hands moisturized?
Empath’s tears.
I should’ve saw that one coming, lol!
Dear HG,
That is funny, you must use them to shower with too! Xx
Hi Leigh,
Coconut oil is what my doc recommended while I was doing chemo and my skin got dry. Xx
I love coconut oil, Rebecca! I use it at night but its thick so its hard to use during the day. And of course its worse in the winter!
Hi Leigh,
Use the thinner, lighter lotions that are more oil than lotion. Xx
The World I See, by Me, the Psychopath
This one is my favorite. I’ve listened to it at least a half dozen times. There’s so much info in this video. Thank you for posting it. Here are some of my favorite quotes from it.
“There is no real me hiding behind the charm, behind the manipulation, behind the carefully constructed persona. The construction is the entity. I am the performance. And when the audience leaves, the theater is empty.”
“I have no expectations, therefore I cannot be disappointed. I do not rely upon hope, therefore I cannot be disillusioned.”
“…you ask and I answer because the truth is the only thing I have that is truly mine. Everything else is borrowed, simulated, performed.”
During an interview with Captainese, Mr. Tudor’s describes why the intimate partner doesn’t last.
“It’s like I’m thirsty, so I open a bottle of mineral water. I drink the mineral water and then I cast aside the empty bottle. I don’t continue to try and drink from an empty bottle. That would be ridiculous”
That’s quite a description, Mr. Tudor.
Dear Mr Tudor,
What “kind of person” sits through an Elton John concert in 2023 over the fatal shooting of a17yr old, whilst riots escalate, then, does exactly the same at another concert watching Celine Dion perform in 2026 whilst their city is rampaged and burning ?
Sorry Mr Tudor, your new format must be a narc, it’s playing games with me. Haha
It wasn’t meant to be sent twice twice haha
Dear Mr Tudor,
What “kind of person” sits through an Elton John concert in 2023 over the fatal shooting of a17yr old, whilst riots escalate, then, does exactly the same at another concert watching Celine Dion perform in 2026 whilst their city is rampaged and burning ?
Dear Mr Tudor,
Italy now gone !
The destruction of Europe is now in full motion (again), next the UK !
Where’s the military, deport all these illegals immediately ? Govts are meant to protect their people and their borders instead of letting in unvetted retards!!!
These money obsessed psychos have no idea what they’ve done, it will come back ten fold to bite them in the arse. They are literally destroying this beautiful planet and everything in it
The sounds of silence from the Govts is overwhelming! Absolutely disgusting !
What say you Mr Tudor?
“God and Me, The Psychopath“
“They take comfort in a story I cannot make myself believe, and which I would not trust.”
This really resonates with me.
When it comes to this subject, I’m an outsider looking in… And I’ve always thought how wonderful it must be to believe. Faith inspires people, gives them strength, brings them comfort…
But I simply can’t believe, given everything that happens in this world. If I do believe in something, it’s certainly not in the traditional religious sense. I don’t believe there’s anything after death.
I think both God and the Devil exist within human beings, and it all depends on which side of ourselves we choose to nurture.
And yes, at one point I did think that if God exists, then He is definitely a narcissist.
As my father used to say about the Bible, “It’s the story of one particular people. Why should I know their story and believe in it? It’s not my story.”
I’ve always felt that God seemed rather cruel. He was constantly testing people, constantly demanding proof of their love…
But in moments of extreme crisis (for example, when my mother was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer), I prayed.
Perhaps that’s hypocritical, but when someone you love is seriously ill, you’re willing to believe in absolutely anything if there’s even the slightest chance it might help.
One thing I do firmly believe, though, is that if there is something out there, whatever it may be, it would understand everything and wouldn’t judge me.
It would simply say, “Josephine, it’s perfectly normal for you to have critical thinking skills…” 🙂
“When it comes to this subject, I’m an outsider looking in… And I’ve always thought how wonderful it must be to believe.”
I read your whole comment with interest Josephine. I have felt similar. Like I am the outsider and how I wish I could take comfort in certain beliefs that others possess – but I just can’t bring myself to. This kind of analyzing belief systems and different personalities and how they embrace/use certain belief systems started with an early interest in personality theory and comparative religion – but, always as an outsider with an academic interest wondering how it is so that people can possess unswerving devotion to a deity.
“It would simply say, ‘Josephine, it’s perfectly normal for you to have critical thinking skills…’ “
I don’t know why but this made me laugh out loud. I would also hope that any divine being out there would be so accepting…
Thank you, 1WhoCares. It’s nice to know that there is someone who feels the same way I do. And I’m glad that the lines about critical thinking lifted your spirits!
Actually, when I think about God and our meeting (if it ever happens), I don’t imagine God calling me to account. I imagine myself calling Him to account.
Perhaps that doesn’t sound very empathetic. To believers, it might even sound blasphemous.
But if He really is all-encompassing love, He should understand… and explain Himself!
Hi Josephina and 1WhoCares,
I understand what you mean, I too have some questions for God….especially with things happening the way they are now….xx
Rebecca, 🩷
This thread prompted me to watch Cookie Monster ‘miming’ Tom Waits’ ‘God’s Away on Business’ 😀
Then I wondered if Tom Waits is a narcissist, narcissistic, normal, empath or…something else!
Mari,
I had no idea Cookie Monster had done a cover of Tom Waits – that was funny. Thanks for sharing!
1WhoCares and Josephina,
When I was going to church with my parents, their Pastor would answer my quesrions after church service, and he would sometimes call me the “Doubting Thomas type” , I understood the remark and it made me feel a bit put off. I read chapters and verses about not fearing, but I haven’t ever seen a verse that read, do not think and do not question. I know there are verses about having faith, but I do not believe it means the same. Have faith, to me, means do not be afraid, not do not think. Xx
My parents’ Pastor sometimes enjoyed the challenge of my questions, sometimes he would ask me quesruons, to avoid answering me. I knew what he was doing, but I observed him instead of saying anything about him avoiding the question.
I observed people, even as a child, it was my way of protecting myself from violence and unpredictable behaviors people can have. Observing people has become so natural to me and now I understand why I do it. It kept me safe as a kid and now it keeps me safe as an adult. Xx
Hi WhoCares,
The oncologist surgeon told me, the very first time I met her before surgery, “You did nothing wrong to deserve this, it is not your fault.” She knew how I felt before I said a word. She is a very compassionate doctor and I like her a lot. She was kind, patient and listened to me, unlike the oncologist who handled my chemo treatment and drug treatment. I have been standing up for myself with her.
I am getting better, stronger and working out of my depression. Xx
I’m sending hugs, Rebecca. You got this!!!
Thanks Leigh! Xx
Rebecca,
I just saw this.
“She is a very compassionate doctor and I like her a lot. She was kind, patient and listened to me, unlike the oncologist who handled my chemo treatment and drug treatment”
I’m so happy for you that that’s the case!
One of the things I cherish from my education here is not only the ability to discern narcs in my midst more readily, but to also more quickly recognize the signs of real emotional empathy and appreciate those qualities in individuals in my life/work/family etc.
“I am getting better, stronger and working out of my depression. Xx”
Good to hear! 🩷
I
Hi 1WhoCares,
Thank you, I am very grateful to have gained that knowledge from HG’s work too! It makes dealing with some people easier! I am also glad that I am getting better and stronger. Thank you for your support! Xx
I recently wrote a comment to Beth about feeling like an outsider. Its interesting to me that we all feel similar.
I, however, do believe in God. I’m just not a fan of the structure of religion.
I’m with you Josephina. When I meet my Maker, He will say, “Bravo! Its ok that you thought outside of the box.”
Hi Leigh,
I felt like an outsider growing up, in my parents’ home, around my extended family and even at work sometimes…xx I thought it was because I was different from my parents and brother and that I wasn’t raised around my extended family, so I felt apart from them, not sharing the same memories as them, not growing up in the same town as them….being a Navy brat, I moved around a lot and saw my exteneded family maybe once or twice a year. Xx
With work, I feel apart because I am wary of people and observe them first before speaking to them. I am usually very quiet and watchful around people before I get to know them. I am deciding if I can trust them, if they are safe to be near. It is a habit I developed in childhood. Some people mistake my watchfulness for being a snob, but I am not a snob. I am being safe and careful. Xx
Hi Rebecca,
This is very interesting. In general, I feel like an outsider too. I connect with very few people. I’m extremely wary of people. I’ve been called anti social on several occasions. I find that ironic & hysterical!
Hi Leigh,
I understand what you mean, I was called a snob by my own brother, who ended up being a sociopath from HG’s analysis of his letters and messages I sent HG. I got permission from HG, to discuss my brother’s analysis results.
I was called a snob by some of my classmates because I didn’t feel comfortable enough in their presense to speak to them. I now realize, I was picking up on their negative, critisizing vibes. Who would call someone a snob for being quiet, when they are not directly involved in the conversation? We all know that answer here. Xx
Hi Rebecca,
I was so much more vocal & social as a child. I was voted most talkative in high school. I was out and about a lot too. I could be a bit reserved though.
Learning about narcissism has caused me to become much more selective, almost reclusive though. Which I actually like better.
Hi Leigh,
I was pretty reserved as a child too. I only get vocal and out of my shell when I am comfortable around the person I am around, otherwise I am quiet and I observe my surroundings.
I am more careful now, who I allow close to me. It is why I have closed off certain people from my life. I have blocked MLSN’s kids from my social media and my phone. I rarely see them, which is what I want and need. Xx
@josephina
I’m actually glad I don’t believe in god
Imagine believing you need to suffer in this life to be rewarded in the next. We aren’t rewarded for suffering. If there’s anything I’ve learnt from being around narcissists, it’s that.
100% agree!
“My Twin, With Me, The Psychopath”
I felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest! Since my English isn’t very good, I download the subtitles and translate them using ChatGPT – and it’s like reading a book…
Yes, we’re waiting for part two… How could you possibly end it like that?!
Hi Josephina,
I eagarly await Part 2! 😬
I have a bad feeling where this will end. 🥺xx
Hi Rebecca, I have that feeling too…
Dear HG and Josephina,
*****If I may say so, HG? *********May I ask, HG? *********
I thought your twin sister was very young, like a toddler age, or was that my own interpretation of you telling an earlier story of your twin sister? I don’t want to say more, but I thought she was a toddler…..? I am sorry if my interpretation of her age was off. Xx
Hi Rebecca,
I got the impression that Sloane was older. Maybe grade school age.
Hi Leigh,
I was thinking like 4 or 5 yrs old, very young and small, innocent and trusting….before the Kindergarten age of 6. I think before a child is 6, they are like a toddler age. Xx
I think she was older than that. But I have no proof. Its just a feeling I have.
Leigh & Rebecca,
Have either of you accessed the Knowing HG Series/forum? The answer to your question is there.
Hi 1WhoCares,
I know of the Knowing HG forum, but I haven’t gone on it for a while. The last time I went on it, it was overwhelming and confusing, and I forgot the password now. 😬xx
Rebecca,
I understand. It is quite a time commitment to read through.
Hi 1WC,
Yes, I’ve accessed the Knowing HG forum. I don’t recall seeing her age. I’ll have to go do some digging.
Rebecca,
I bet if you email Mr. Tudor, he’ll resend you the password.
“Yes, I’ve accessed the Knowing HG forum. I don’t recall seeing her age. I’ll have to go do some digging.”
I put a recent post in the forum so you won’t have to dig too far. Of course, it is dependent on HG having a moment to moderate it.
Thank you Leigh and 1WhoCares, I will email HG for the password and look for your comment , 1WhoCares! Xx
Thank you 1WC,
I’ll go check it out. I’ve been listening to Mr. Tudor’s analysis of SV with Isla. Its so good!
Rebecca & Leigh,
You’re welcome.
Leigh,
“I’ll go check it out. I’ve been listening to Mr. Tudor’s analysis of SV with Isla. Its so good!“
I know! I have listened twice. There’s a lot of good stuff in there.
I hope Isla takes some of HG’s advice. I know she’s on a campaign to protect others but I think her dealings with SV is starting to impact her well-being.
Hi 1WC,
I went onto the KHG forum. Thank you for the info. That was the age range I was thinking as well.
I agree about Isla. I think its taking a toll on her as well. She even said in the interview that she has to dedicate more time to this investigation. I hope she really listens to Mr. Tudor as well.
Today I listened to part two of Mr. Tudor’s interview with Captainese. Have you listened to it? I was annoyed that she didn’t laugh at Mr. Tudor’s joke. She asked him to describe himself and he said,
“Okay. Well, it will come as a major surprise to learn that I’m male.”
How do you not laugh at that? Anyway, the questions got better as the interview progressed. Another great interview!
Leigh,
“Today I listened to part two of Mr. Tudor’s interview with Captainese. Have you listened to it? I was annoyed that she didn’t laugh at Mr. Tudor’s joke. “
I have had a listen to that interview but I was multi-tasking and need a re-listen..
She doesn’t come across as the jovial type… she also mentions that she never cries.
Hi 1WhoCares and Leigh,
I have been listening to the podcast and when she said, she never cries, it stuck in my mind as a mental note to hold on to…She is very down to business and no nonesense. She is hardcore serious and direct….very strong character and didn’t back down when Sam was backpaddling and retreating from the room. She didn’t let up on him, wanted her answer. He didn’t expect that! I smiled when he retreated like a thief in the night, but his bag was empty. Xx
Hi 1WC,
I agree. Captainese is not jovial at all. I remember from part 1 that she said she didn’t cry.
She asked interesting questions though. Which of course means I loved Mr. Tudor’s responses.
“Clean Order, By Me, The Psychopath” — What a fantastic series! Thank you for sharing it with us!
Dear Mr Tudor,
Sooooooo, the Nottingham staged “rent a crowd” gig by H n TOW triumphed over KC n Cam’s opening of the Welsh Parliament.
The absolute gall, to come back to England! She hates it there, If looks could kill when TOW saw H kiss the lovely green bloused blonde…… 4 eye blinks, tightening of the jaw n neck and then the mouth tongue lick. Whoa !!!
I agree with you Mr Tudor, I could’ve also trangled that ear piercing “ululation” sounding person.
TOW was over performative and fake! She’s definitely worming her way back in. So the “games” begin. America breathed a sigh of relief and good riddance!
Regarding your YT video about God. God is part of my vocab every single day, 24/7, usually prefaced with “Oh My and followed by a WTH or WTF 😇🤣
Dear Mr Tudor,
Flock cameras (powered by solar, how convenient ), cyber attacks, grid failure in the supermarkets eg France etc , “another” made up virus (thanks Bill Gates) coming soon. The grubby psycho rich will go into hiding in their underground bunkers to gloat and get their “jollies off’ whilst civil war escalates, so they can then place the unruly in “concentration camps”.
Updates:-
Hamtramck, Michigan, the Council is now made up of all Muslim men (the first city in the United States to have a fully governed local Muslim council). The LGBTQ+ and other political, racial or religious flags have been banned.
A Somalian born Muslim female has just been named Mayor of Earling swearing in on the Quran, Another Somalian born female recently made history entering the UK Parliament (filling Starmer’s seat), again sworn in whilst holding a copy of the Quran).
Sadiq Kahn entered the House of Lords (now Baron Khan of Tooting) whilst swearing in on the Quran.
What say you Mr Tudor ?
Hello HG, just a note to say I’m v.impressed with your recent vids on YT, including the scenery strolls, critters and animals. I get the impression horses like you. 🙂 I love the wild boar and deer too.
I want to know what’s going on with Idiot and Idioter being in the UK. I can’t believe they’ll stay long term, they’re up to something.
Has King Chuck told H to earn some beans, then he’ll give him a stipend?
She doesn’t want to be here, what’s she doing? Such an absolute minger, I can’t say what I want on YT ‘cos it’s too rude. Up north you get “chips ‘n’ scraps”. Scraps are the titchy bits of batter left in the fryer from fish. She, to me, is a part of a burnt scrap that’s sunk to the bottom of the deep fat fryer and wants clearing out. Absolutely NOTHING there. More talent in a wild boar’s snout hair than she has. The snout hairs serve a purpose.
‘Unflushable turd’ is the perfect description.
Re: Normalising the Narcissist: Ignoring Rejection
While it is certainly true that the Noah character in “The Notebook” is aggressive and ignores rejection, I do not agree that he crosses a major boundary simply by pursuing Ally. I do not accept that she “isn’t a free agent” as an engaged woman.
Being engaged is NOT a commitment. Marriage is the commitment. Getting engaged only means you are ready to vet your potential partner more intensely and are taking steps to get to know each other more intimately so you become equipped to make that final decision. The engagement period is precisely meant to be the time where you weigh up if you want to shackle yourself for life to this person or not, it has no binding force on its own without a marriage, so everyone else is free to try to win your favour in that time. An engagement only means officially starting off on your way to the end point which is the wedding, and there you make the commitment. If you cannot even make it to the altar, how was that marriage ever going to last? The times where an engagement was a legally enforceable contract and you could sue for breach of promise are thankfully long gone. The question “Do you take this man/woman…..?” comes at the end of the engagement, not a day before, because that is the point where you are expected to make your decision and commit. All an engagement does is give you justification for conferring certain social privileges which allow you to get to know the other person more intimately and be closer without being seen as inappropriate. It is not meant as a simple planning period to organise the wedding, where everything is decided already.
Hi AA,
I was poking around the blog and I found this comment from you.
“To me, it’s narcisstic framing to suggest that someone responding to abuse becomes ‘part of the problem.’Responding to abuse is necessary. It’s an absolute and I cannot imagine a scenario where it’s not.”
I totally agree! Its blameshifting. For the narcissist, our reaction to the abuse is the issue, not the abuse they’re dishing out.
I can have diametrically opposed responses to abuse. Sometimes I’m right in their face calling them out on their shit. Other times I go with no response. No response is a response too.
Hi Leigh,
I am the same way, sometimes I call them out on their bullshit, other times it is not even worth replying to them, so I walk away without another word. Xx
i got permission from HG to share my brother’s analysis results from his messages and letters. He is a Sociopath, not a Psychopath….His behaviors I recalled, started looking more sociopathic and having his lettets and messages, I figured would give HG the events he needed, and I am glad I sent them to HG!
Thank you HG for looking at the letters and the messages, and giving me the answer! It helped me so him more clearly! Thank you for that and your time on it! I am very grateful! Xx
Hi Rebecca,
Sometimes, I find it funny to ignore their shenanigans, lol!
Thank you for sharing about your brother. I was thinking sociopath too. I’m glad you were able to get that clarification from Mr. Tudor.
What’s happening with the oncologist? Have things gotten better?
Hi Leigh!
I ignore a lot of provocative comments MLSN says to me anymore, it really annoys him! 😄xx
Yes, I am glad HG gave me clarity on my brother! Xx
I haven’t seen my oncologist in a few weeks and I talked to my Patient Advocate Social worker about getting a new oncologist. We are working on getting a new oncologist for me, one that listens to me. Xx
I stopped her plans to bill me for the tamaxifen, by calling my insurance and the pharmacy. Do not fill this drug script and do not pay for it either! They didn’t! Xx
Yay Rebecca! I’m glad you were able ro stop the prescription from being billed. I’m also glad you’re looking into a new oncologist.
You need an oncologist who helps your healing process.
Thank you, Leigh! Xx
Now I’m completely confused. What’s the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath?
Watch this https://youtu.be/Aazw8dzcdMM
Hi Josephine, one’s hot and the other is not.
I meant evidents* xx
Hi AA, I was poking around the blog and 8 found this comment from you.
I totally agree! Its blameshifting. For the narcissist, our reaction to the abuse is the issue, not the abuse they’re dishing out.
I can have diametrically opposed responses to abuse. Sometimes I’m right in their face calling them out on their shit. Other times I go with no response. No response is a response too.
Sorry for the duplicate! This one looked like it didn’t go through. 🤦♀️🤷♀️
Dear Mr Tudor,
Absolutely devastating and heartbreaking to see the rioting pictures coming out of Paris and Belgium.
In the kind of occupation and transaction that you describe in “The Deal With Me, The Psychopath”, which of the elements of the Necessary Triad would you say is represented to the greatest and smallest extent? Does it cover them all equally well or is there one which is not satisfied sufficiently for you?
Control highest followed by stimulation and accumulation last.
HG, I’m a little confused. Are all psychopaths sadists, or not necessarily?
No. Sadism correlates with callousness but is an identifiable separate trait.
The psychopathy supplies the lack of restraint which results in somebody being hurt ; sadism supplies a positive appetite for cruelty. One can exist without the other.
Thank you for your answer
You in town. Should I lock the door or leave it open?
Matters not either way.
You know what fascinates me about narcissists? If HG allows this comment, of course. Just thinking out loud.
For example, I make a genuinely witty joke. The narcissist finds it funny (that’s a fact!), but literally suppresses the smile — and some of them even suppress their laughter!! — just so they don’t have to acknowledge that I made a good joke.
This has happened with different narcissists. I just don’t understand why they can’t admit that I’m funny. It’s so obvious. I can be really witty. Just admit it))))))
It drives me crazy. Let the laughter happen!
Hi Josephine,
MLSNarc has done that to me, when I tell a joke, I know to be funny from other people’s responses to it, and he won’t crack a smile or laugh….He then laters admits it was funny, but tells me he didn’t want me to get a big head and think I am funny. Xx
Hi Rebecca! You know, the main thing is WE KNOW we’re funny!
Pretenders!!! x
Hi Josephina,
Right! Other people laugh, it is not just me, or you! 😄xx
I started doing acupuncture sessions, so far I have had 2 sessions and my insurance covers the sessions! Win,win! Xx
This method of treatment isn’t particularly common in our country… Tell me, is it painful?👀
Hi Josephina,
Sometimes there is a little pain with acupuncture, depending on the place and the needle type. The acupunturist used different needles on me the other day. He stuck five in each ear and when I took them out a few days later, as instructed to, they looked like mini bullets. They felt like getting my ears pierced again, minor pain….He told me most people can’t tolerate all 10 in their ears, in one session. I have been told I have a high pain tolerance and I guess I do.
It was weird when he stuck spme needles in my hands, legs, arms and ankles. One time, my foot jerked, while I was trying to relax and just lay there listening to music….and my foot jerking made a sharp, quick pain hit my shin muscle. I was like, ouch! Let’s not do that again! 😄xx
The cool thing is, after he took out the needles and I sat up, my arm and elbow pain was gone ! He gave me quicker results than the other acupuncurist I was going to earlier. I had to switch due to insurance coverage. My arm tightness and pain, elbow pain,from radiation, has improved! My arm is great and painfree, while my elbow is still a little sore, but bearable. Xx
Thanks HG, for allowing me to answer this and moderating it! I appreciate it you doing that! Xx
After hearing about your experience, Rebecca, I now want to try acupuncture too!!! I’m not joking, I’d really love to give it a try!
Hi Josepbina,
It is an ancient healing practice and it has been proven to relieve pain and help with healing. Acupuncture can help with migraines, depression, anxiety and a lot of other physical and mental issues that narcissistic abuse can cause to happen in your body and mind. Go for it, try it! Xx
@Josephina
I talk to myself and laugh with myself at my own jokes. I think I’m hilarious and that’s all that matters
looking forward to the new info on Marcus Anderson – what could it be?! possibilities in my opinion:
(1) he’s a psychopath
(2) he’s a vampyre
(3) he’s a vampiristic psychopath
(4) his dad is Jeffrey Epstein
(5) he has strong connections to Jeffrey Epstein
(6) he’s part lizard, part thawed-out Atlantean overlord
(7) he’s been in prison before
(8) someone you know (HG), knows someone he knows (possibly his mum) and has intel on him
(9) he’s TOW’s dad
HG, I have a question that came to mind. If one of the children is a narcissist, will they always side with the narcissistic parent in a divorce, or is that not necessarily the case?
It is not necessarily the case, indeed two factors make it more likely they will not do.
1. The two narcissists need control therefore this is more likely to create a conflict than with the non-narcissist parent.
2. The non-narcissist parent may well be an empathic, which will prove an attracting factor for the narcissist child.
It is also worth pointing out that if the child is a minor, we cannot state for certain that they are a narcissist.
Thank you for your answer, HG.
Hi Josephina,
As you know I have a daughter who is a narcissist and my husband is also a narcissist. In my case, my daughter sides with me.
If I’ve done something that’s caused me to be painted black, she may side with him. But its fleeting. Most of the time she puts me on the pedestal and her narc father, my husband is the problem. He challenges her and she doesn’t like that. Its an interesting dynamic because she challenges him too.
Hi Leigh. Thank you for sharing that. How are you doing?
I was wondering, in a divorce, could a narcissistic child, for example a 23-year-old, choose to stay with the narcissistic parent (the father) and take part in his smear campaign against the mother?
Hi Josephina!
I’m doing well. I hope you’re doing well too.
Could a narcissistic child in their 20s side with their narcissistic father and smear their mother? I think there are some factors to consider first.
If the adult child is in fact a narcissist, then that would mean that the mother is painted black and the narc father is painted white. The first question is, are you sure the adult child is a narcissist? The second question is, do you think the mother is an empath?
Empaths are easier to control so I want to say that if the child is a narc & the mom is an empath, I would think the mother would be painted white because she’s easier to control.
Is the mother doing something specific to her daughter thats causing her to be painted black? Did she cut her off financially or does she not like her partner? When I stopped paying for something or voiced my opinion about my daughter’s boyfriend, I was painted black.
I’m also curious aboit how the mother is responding to the smearing? Her response might be telling too.
My ex was really really wealthy and I asked the child evaluator…” when she is a teen, will she chose him? He is so much richer than me” I know teens gravitate to that”. He has ASPD, diagnosed. She replied, “ yes she will be attracted to the wealth and associate with it with peer pressure etc… but the child always comes back to the love. It takes only one person to nurture a child and you will provide enough love for her to be ok.”
So the answer is a mix but ultimately you will never lose that kid! All grown up now. It was fine. My daughter and I are close always but she is her Dad’s princess too. He was a good father too.
Hi Contagious,
I am glad to know your ex husband was a good father to your daughter. My brother had ASPD and for the most part he was a good brother to me….a lot nicer and more protective than my LMRV narcissist mother.xx
Yes we share that experience. I know you loved your brother Rebecca and your brother was human just like you and me walking this planet. Psychopaths are born with different brain wiring, they didn’t get a choice….As I said before, psychopaths are much easier than narcissists in a relationship…. Unless you get in their way. Never take on a psychopath of any sort unless you have carefully thought out and planned a strong exit strategy.
Psychopaths lie, cheat, steal but they aren’t dramatic and erratic.
They are stable. No head games. Many are successful too so the empath enjoys the residual benefits;)
But I prefer empaths or normals no matter what kind of success they are, some things are priceless like love.
Psychopaths will engage in “head games” it’s part of the manipulation, callousness, need for control and stimulation.
Dear HG and Contagious,
My brother engaged in “playful head games” , at least they seemed more playful than being outright mean like my mother’s mind games. He would cheat playing card games and laugh when I caught him and called him out for it. I’d get angry and he’d enjoy watching me get angry. It was fun for him, like play for him…And there were times he protected me and was good to me. I loved him and in the end, that is what I hold to me, the times he was protective and there for me and the love I had/have for him. Xx
I don’t know contagious
In some ways a psychopath could be more dangerous than some narcissists because they don’t need you, so potentially they could do worse and literally anything.
to a certain extent you could use fuel against a narcissist and charm them into doing certain things sometimes, I don’t know about psychopaths…
Hello Rebecca, Witch and HG:
You see Rebecca “ playful head games” , he cheats. Is cheating a headgame? Maybe. I see it as a choice to win. Not moral but logical.
Yes they lie, cheat, steal, don’t think rules, norms, laws apply. But to me that is not a head games.
Witch: if they choose you, there’s a reason. If you are aligned, you are fine. Both narcs and psychopaths have no empathy. But it is my experience and I have met a few and married one, if you are not in the way of their goals, no danger. If you are the goal and the goal is dangerous, you are fucked. If you stand in the way of the goal, you are fucked. In that way, hell yes, much more dangerous.
HG: I would take the day to day with a psychopath over a narc any day of the week! I find psychopaths logical. They make sense. Even when they lie, cheat, steal or kill, it has linear rational thought. Narcs are bat shit crazy.
So yes, a psychopath will lie, cheat, steal if that’s a head game?
But there is no drama unless you are in their way. There’s no erratic confusing behavior. My ex psychopath put a gun to my head and said if I blow your brains out, it will solve our problems when I divorced him. I didn’t see that as a head game but a brutal unequivocal real life and death threat. I knew he meant it.
My ex narc engaged in everything illogical. Silent treatments, rewriting history, dissociative behavior, unwarranted jealousy, etc… nothing made sense. He lived in planet crazy. He threatened to kill me too over his delusion I was going to run off and marry his best friend who is married and a minister who I never met! He had a psychotic breakdown and was sectioned. I think with him, he was so mistreated as a child, there was only pain and survival and no one was home in his head most of the time so he lived in a fantasy and held onto me like an anchor for awhile. The man struggles in the world. He is like a drowning man gulping for air. Sometimes he will hold onto you and take you with him. Other times he will float and be charming, intelligent and creative but the man can’t swim!
I just see a difference unless you see crimes, lying, stealing, cheating, even killing as head games.
I think you are mostly a psychopath. I think you are quite able at dealing with reality.
I don’t think narcs can handle reality. Life is too much for them and the head games they play are all about emotional abuse. They lived abuse and abuse is their first language.
Whereas psychopaths abuse in my experience as a tool, a method to get what they want. If you are aligned, no need to abuse. But get in their way, it is not a game. It is a promise. They will obliterate you.
I see a difference. Maybe it’s the definition of “ head game.”
Hi Contagious,
My brother’s head games with me were done for fun and pleasure. He got off on watching me get mad at him, when I caught him cheating in the boardgame. His headgames with me weren’t meant to really harm me, they were meant to get me angry so he could have the thrill of watching me get mad at him. To me, that is playful headgames. I wasn’t harmed, he didn’t do it to cause harm to me. He didn’t have harmful intent towards me. It was fun for him, plain and simple. He was like a lab rat hitting the button to get the cheese. He poked me by cheating and I gave him the response he wanted. Xx
I agree with you, generally I think the narcissist is batshit crazy and lives in a fantasy world, compared to the psychopath who is cold logic and goal orientated. But, where I disagree with you is; I think it depends on the person. Some narcs are worse than psychopaths, but then some psychopaths can be worse than narcs….Take Tom Cruise for example! He is a Middle Greater Elite Narcissistic Psychopath and compare him to Donald Trump, ULType A Elite Narcissist. Who do you think is worse?? We would have to ask Katie Holmes and his daughter and anyone he was close to, to really know that answer….I don’t know Tom Cruise personally and I am sure he can be quite mean if he wants to be mean.
We all know how DT acts and how he treats people because it is public knowledge, but Tom Cruise keeps most of his private life, private. Who knows , outside of those close to him, how mean he gets? And, his ex wife and child aren’t talking…at least I don’t think they are… perhaps they got hush money or signed a NDA. Xx
Thank you for this encouraging comment Contagious.
Always….
Every time I hear another horrifying story about a marriage to a narcissist from one of my clients or friends, I find myself silently thanking the universe that HG exists and that this website exists. It feels like a lifeline against emotional thinking.
Sometimes I am genuinely horrified by these stories, especially when children are involved.
HG, thank you for being there. Yes, this is very difficult knowledge. It is painful knowledge. But if you are an empath, you have to know it in order to protect yourself.
Another insight has just come to me.
Thank you
You are welcome.
Dear HG,
The Daily Telegraph featured an interesting article today: “Science is proving Richard Dawkins and the New Atheists wrong – Dawkins’ rejection of religion is waning while scientific discoveries are prompting fresh arguments for belief in God” (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/09/22/new-atheism-rose-triumphed-lost-argument-god-exists-science/) by Stephen Meyer. Maybe you have already read it, if not, please allow me to recommend it to you and anyone interested in the topic.
Thank you for the recommendation.
It’s good to see more people believing in me.
Blessed are the cheese makers.
But not just willy-nilly believing! We are going to the evidence.
I took the psychopathic trait test today!
My narcissism results were very very low ( except pride) but I bet my psychopathic traits will be interesting… can’t wait!
I tried to figure out your madness in the method lol. I have no idea how you come up with these tests! I just answer truthfully and go with my gut if the response is not exactly on point.
Hi Contagious,
I took the Psychopathic trait detector last week and I am both excited and anxious to hear the results! I am very interested to find out where I am on the results! I answered honestly, because how else will I truly find out the correct analysis?! Xx
I’ve been wanting to know this about myself since I took the trait detector…and found out about psychopathic traits…I wondered, do I have them too? Xx
Hello Rebecca!
What a pair! You and I are excited to see if we have psychopathic traits and what type! I know already I have some brain wiring where I get unusually calm in crisis situations and HG didn’t include it but I have a weird high pain tolerance. ( also have RLS which is a very Nordic disease- neurological. Most of my family has it entirely genetic. ) so psychopaths have some of that type of trait. The rest? Well, we shall see lol
By the way… it sounds like your health is rapidly improving… this makes me grin ear to ear! Wishing you complete recovery and long healthy life! X
One more thing Rebecca:
I have been described as “ good crazy”. I am a risk taker, you?
In high school the first to jump off the bridge to the he river below but with the captain of the swim team. I also wanted to swing across a ravine on a telephone line at 13. I was alone and just curious…. 13. I got blood blisters but I did it, etc….
Of course I tried skating diving in college….
I kept my “ Gift From God” at 30, gave up my partnership and the over a million that went with it as I was so in love with my son and motherhood and this was before I met my rich husband to be.
I opened up my own law firm because of …. i was sick of my sexist boss. No clue at the time of how to operate a business and I bought a beach condo then.
I have traveled since a teen sometimes with others, other times alone. It doesn’t matter, I just enjoy exploring.
It’s the same with death. I am an absolute believer, like my father said to me, when it’s time, it’s time, no fear… I 100% believe.
But I don’t think psychopaths are believers truly. I think these are also my “ psychopathic treats. Do you think you’re u have any?
Hi Contagious,
I have an unusual pain tolerance too, in dact when I had my 4 surgeries for breast cancer treatment, they gave me nerve blockers. I went off the nerve blockers after 3 days being on them and stuck with taking only advil. The oncologist wanted me to take stronger drugs, but I was fine with 200mg of advil. I refused the opoids, didn’t even fill them. The pain was tolerable to me. I am in PT currently and my strength is coming back, thank you for the well wishes! I do appreciate it! Xx
What is RLS? My Dad’s family came from Norway, Scotland and England and my mother’s family came from Sweden, Scotland, Ireland, Netherlands, Finland and England. I found out recently that my mother’s family came to US in the 1600s before America was America. Their ship docked in the very town I lived in now! Isn’t that crazy?! Their is a local old church my relative help build and he helped design the town’s street layout! I was so excited to learn aboit all of this, that I shared the file with HG! I am excited to hear HG’s response! It is an old Swedish church and my relative was straight from Sweden! Xx
I eagarly wait the psychopathic trait detector results! I know we are quite a pair being excited and anxious over psychopathic results! 😄I think we might be the only ones commenting on the blog who had close relationships to someone with ASPD too? Xx
Hi Contagious,
I was called crazy and brave, when I went ziplining and I enjoyed it! I enjoy traveling and experiencing new things like ziplining! I traveled to England by myself, but, met up with friends there, first time going overseas on my own! I am a Navy brat, so I am used to traveling and love to explore new places!
I have been called psycho girl because of my temper and fearlessness when I am good and angry. If someone I love is being hurt or endanger, I don’t even think before I react to save them. I have fought 3 dogs to defend and save my little dog. MLSNarc husband called me crazy for literally jumping on the one dog and for saving my dog three times. I didn’t think of me, I thought to save my dog period. It might be crazy and a bit reckless, like a psychopath, but my drive behind my brand of crazy isn’t the same….xx
I do belive I have some psychopathic traits, I can be adventurous and impulsive, but it also depends on what it is. For example: I would like to go parachute jumping, but I would be scared and excited to do it. I want to try it, but I have some concerns and then I debate about it.
When I got robbed at the bank I worked at, I was visibly calm to everyone, inside my head I was alramed, but able to think clearly in the crisis. I remember thinking, “Great! This is going to ruin my whole day.” I did everything on autopilot and set most of the alarms off before he even left the building, two of them in front of him. The police even remarked to me how calm I was and I told them, I need to stay calm so you can get the info you need, getting upset and crying won’t help you do your job. I do that in a crisis, I go on autopilot or a react quickly to what is going on. I think it is a trauma response, but it maybe a psychopathic trait? I don’t know, one of the resons I was curious about the psychopathic traits when HG did the video on them. Xx
Contagious, you wrote you are not a true believer? Do you not believe in God now? Please explain? If you don’t mind? Xx
Oh one more thing we have crazy in common! We both love dogs! It would be amazing if that Christmas party ever happened! Love to raise a glass to you! X
My grandfather was directly from Frysland or Freisland. Most of my family both sides are tall blond wide eyed blue eyes, high cheekbones and tall! I am average height but I have female cousins Sex feet! He came to New York and settled and I was first raised in Tarrytown, born in Syracuse but now after all these years, a total Californian! My father spoke Fries, and German. I hope we share our results. I suspect we might have some same! X
Dear HG.
I was wondering if you happen to have any data on which age group tends to visit your website most often?
WordPress does not provide me with that data, it tells me which countries readers are from. In case you are interested the current rankings of most views are from the following countries, the top ten with most listed first is as follows :-
1. USA
2. UK
3. China
4. Australia
5. Canada
6. Egypt
7. Germany
8. Turkey
9. Croatia
10. Brazil
YouTube gives me information about viewer gender, location and age group.
But what about Russia? Hey!))) I’m from Russia!
Ahhh, I see what’s going on! Most Russians probably use a VPN that changes their apparent location. For example, YouTube doesn’t work here without a VPN, and neither do most English-language websites.
Josephina:
My Russian friend has trouble calling outside of Russia and using WhatsApp seems to have internet issues. Any advice how she can call the UK from Russia?
Hi Contagious! I have some patients from the US, and we usually communicate via Zoom, Yandex Telemost, or Google Meet – all video call platforms.
Hi Contagious. I use Zoom, Yandex Telemost, and Google Meet for video calls.
Thanks Josephina!!!!
Hi Contagious,
I sent two messages, but I keep getting an error message. Xx
Hi Contagious and Av,
I forgot to tell you, today is the first day I am trying accupuncture! My doctor told me it will help with the stiffness and swelling from radiation and surgery! I am willing to try it, they have proof it works! Why not?! Xx
Dear HG,
This is the third attempt I made to send this message, HG, so if it goes through three times, please delete the other 2? Thanks! I keep getting error messages. Xx
Rebecca, that’s great news! I have a couple of daughters who’ve done acupuncture and they love it! I couldn’t because of the needles but I’ve had acupressure done on my feet, there’s a specific name for it that’s not coming to me now, and that was amazing! Let us know if it helps! Nice to hear from you!
Hi Av! Xx
I have had 2 acupuncture sessions so far and my insurance is paying for me to continue with the sessions! The needles are so tiny, I barely feel them at all.
I will let you know how it goes! Xx
Dear Mr Tudor,
Is anyone watching Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story on Netflix ?
I am not doing so. I have just finished watching Lioness. Next up, Dark Matter.
Dear Mr Tudor,
We enjoyed Lioness and The Gentlemen. Our favourite is The Tudors hehe
Of course it is.
My Autumn viewing list includes
Mobland
The Gentlemen
Three Body Problem
Slow Horses
The Diplomat
Dark Matter
Tehran
Fauda
The question is finding the time to do so.
Dear HG,
I recommend Dark Matter, I saw it a few months ago and I enjoyed the depth to the series! You’ll see what I mean when you watch it! Xx
I have watched the first series already, this is series two.
Dear HG,
Season 2? Oh, I will watch it and see where it goes this season! Thanks, didn’t know a new season came out! Xx
I love Lioness! And this blog now has my next choice Dark Matter!
Contagious,
I think you will find it very entertaining! I didn’t get bored watching it and some series do bore me after a while of watching them. Xx
I absolutely loved “Normalising the Narcissist: Media Conditioning”! HG, you really are amazing!!!
However, this is a very, very frightening reality. Damn, please take me back to Ignorance!!! Back to the land of blissful unawareness!
Wait until you get into the episodes. First one arrived Friday.
!!!!!!
@josephine
I’m glad other people had bliss and unawareness at some point
Then others were born into it
I feel so bad when I hear some people say they had a good childhood and they were loved by their parents and then got into a relationship with a narc as an adult. I feel more bad for them than myself, because they were happy and could have continued that way, I never was and will never know what thats like. To go from never believing the world is against you to hell – it’s sad
I hope my niece never goes through that
Hi Witch,
It makes me very sad to read that you didn’t have a happy family. I’m so sorry that you had to go through all of this (or perhaps are still going through it). It’s incredibly painful. I understand you.
I suppose what keeps me going is the thought that when you grow up, you can create your own family… and find that happiness. Yes, this time in the role of a parent. But it will be your own family.
However, as a psychiatrist, I have a different opinion on this matter. In terms of the prognosis for a “happy life” in the future, people who encounter a narcissist in adulthood have a much better prognosis.
A person who grew up in a normal, close-knit, empathetic family has the resources and the ability to leave a relationship with a narcissist and build normal, healthy relationships. I have at least hundreds of such examples among my patients. Some of them were married to narcissists for as long as 16 years.
The earlier the abuse begins, the worse the prognosis.
What is the difference between PTSD and CPTSD? And where does the tragedy lie? I don’t mean to diminish the suffering of people with PTSD in any way.
Let’s say someone experienced abuse in adulthood. That person had a life BEFORE. They remember what it was like to feel differently. They know what that feels like. They have something to return to. They know that alternatives exist.
Moreover, they can eventually come to a clear conclusion in their own mind that the person they loved (not immediately, of course, but with some work) was hurting them, and they can limit contact with that person. Once they reach that understanding, their attitude towards that person can become clear. There will no longer be that dilemma.
But if you were abused in childhood, you simply have nothing to return to. You don’t know what normal feels like, what healthy relationships are, and you don’t have the resources to build them.
Your entire perception of relationships is turned upside down. You mistake monstrous things for love because that’s what you’re used to.
And the situation is even more horrific when your parent is a narcissist, because you can’t simply see that parent as entirely bad in your mind, easily cut them out of your life, and move on.
I’ve heard this a million times. No matter what parents have done to their children, those children, even as adults, still try to justify their parents’ behaviour, still love them, and still try to repair the relationship… because this is ambivalent attachment, and it’s terrifying.
It’s a wound that never closes. It’s agonising.
Yes, I understand what you mean. It’s horrific when someone who is used to a peaceful life suddenly finds themselves in what is practically a war zone with a narcissist. They were completely unprepared for it…
But believe me, Witch (and this isn’t just my subjective opinion, it’s supported by research), that person has more resources, a better chance of getting through it, and a better prognosis.
Perhaps that’s a small consolation… but to me, it means a lot.
PTSD is a serious condition, but potentially reversible. With CPTSD, you’re facing a lifetime of treatment. Essentially, it’s a personality disorder. That’s what my most recent psychiatrist confirmed as well. I was upset, but I wasn’t surprised.
My mother says that over the past two years I’ve really demonised my father, but the truth is that I’ve simply started talking to her about him more often… and calling him what he is — a narcissist.
For me, the tragedy lies elsewhere.
On the one hand, knowledge brings liberation. On the other hand, it’s a life sentence.
Knowing that your father subjected you to emotional abuse throughout your entire conscious life, while still somehow making excuses for him and hoping that he might change, is one thing…
But knowing that it will NEVER happen is something entirely different.
Never is a very frightening word.
I already understood that, of course. But somehow, after taking the Narc Detector, it felt as though a final full stop had been put at the end of that story.
Hi Josephina,
I loved this comment! Thank you for sharing your perspective.
“On the one hand, knowledge brings liberation. On the other hand, it’s a life sentence.” – I feel that every day!
Thank you so much, Leigh.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Has anyone seen the recent Mel Robbin’s interview with Oprah Winfrey as her guest?
Oprah saying “I’m so blessed, can’t get over how blessed I am, I just can’t get over it” blah blah blah “I marvel at that” blah blah blah “before I leave this earth” blah blah blah blah blah “I’m a light that shines” blah blah blah “ chuck in the crocodile tears and let’s continuing taking about me me me me me “a voice came over me” blah blah blah 🤣
Oprah said “I”m 72, I have one solid decade left” …….. yeah, to annoy us 🤦♀️
We definitely didn’t want Oprah’s (long pregnant pause) parting words” 🤦♀️
Seriously WTH? 🤮 🤮🤮🤮
We must all bow to The Mighty O.
Well, not me. Other people. I can’t stomach the broad.
Is Gayle one of her lieutenants?
Dear Allison,
Oprah is nauseatingly painful. I wish she’d just retire and disappear to her Mauri property, now that a lot of her neighbours have left 🔥😉
Haha I’m positive Gayle is closer than just a lieutenant 😉
I’m sure Gayle is always under Oprah’s hood.
(*shudders*)
I can’t stand her either. No lieutenants though, somehow, I think this is common knowledge, she not a narcissist.
Wow. Okay. She’s just an insufferable prick, then.
Dear Allison,
Good answer 😉
This made me titter.
Humble brag, ‘I’m so blessed’, is one of my bêtest of bêtes noires.
Dear Mr Tudor,
The best 75 secs was seeing Alfronditi Latinopoulou (Greek Member of the EU Parliament) tear strips off evil narcissistic Ursula von der “Liar” at the EU Parliament (she might as well have been addressing the Berlin Wall) haha (“Liars” blinking say it all) !!
The only “protestor” who stood up against AI Vision hosted by Canva in London who made complete sense, gets escorted out by “security” whilst all the “profiteering investors”, sat in silence. The “protestor” in this instance, should’ve been applauded.
Just waiting for the next big announcement regarding AI, where an “unexpected worldwide catastrophic glitch” regarding everyone’s money from their bank accounts has suddenly “disappeared” and will be restored as a credit point system!
What say you Mr Tudor ?
Hello HG,
In an audio or video you talk about the power of gossip and quote a phrase from the iron woman Margaret Thatcher.
I don’t remember where:)