I like it when you are lonely. That is my favourite place for you. When we first meet if you make mention of feeling lonely, or send a self-pitying tweet decrying your loneliness then I am straight on to you. You may as well have taken a knife to your chest, slit it open and shouted, “Come and get me.” Those in a state of loneliness are massively susceptible to my overtures when I decide to engulf you in my bombardment of flattery and zealous appreciation. Those who have tired of their single status and wallowing in solitary confinement seize on this interest of mine. The red flags may be fluttering but you never see them or if you do, you think “how pretty”.

I may make you feel wanted and special but all I am doing is moving you. I am transporting you from loneliness in the real world to isolated splendour in my false reality. Once I have positioned you there I shall busy myself cutting you off from family, friends and acquaintances.

You will readily go along with my fabricated denigrations of people you once held dear and who you saw regularly. You want more of the sugar that I am pouring on you. To do that you need to spend more time with me and thus less with anyone else. It is hardly a sacrifice though is it? Any dissenting voices are marginalised by cleverly constructed smear campaigns against these people (watch out – that campaign will be used against you in the not too distant future). You are an eager co-conspirator happy to discard these people (how can you be so callous?) with the repeated promise and reward of more of my intoxicating attention.

Once all those ties have been cut you are mine. You are dependent on me for everything. You have nobody to turn to and thus your focus will always be on me. As you try harder to please me, the realisation of your isolation becomes all the more apparent. You can feel the tendrils of loneliness wrapping around you once again.

I know you will feel this and I know you will do all the more to cling onto me, your life raft, your beacon of hope in the wilderness. Anything to avoid being left alone. I am afraid it is too late. Your isolation was sealed the moment you listened to me. You are so alone nobody can hear you scream.

12 thoughts on “Lonely

  1. Tired says:

    I enjoy alone time. I’ve never felt the need to constantly be out and about. I’d prefer to stay home and sit by the fire with a good book .
    You know when I feel “ alone “ ? When I’m home with my narc. His presence makes me feel lonely.
    He has never had friends, he goes nowhere and does nothing with his free time. He has no hobbies.
    He prefers to stay home with his drug of choice, his constant trusted companion.
    If I go out visiting, he comes with me. I don’t know why he bothers , he never seems to enjoy himself. Aside from that he never wants to go anywhere when I suggest going to see a movie, a drive, etc- . A vacation? What’s that?!

    He’s attempted in the past to put a wedge between myself and my family and friends, it didn’t work, and that pisses him off . He’s crazy if he ever thought that I would choose him over my family.
    He knows if /when we divorce I will not be lonely, I have a support network, he doesn’t.
    I am, I suppose, in a self imposed prison with him. I am afraid to start over with less financial resources, but I wouldn’t starve.
    Sometimes I think screw him , and then I feel bad for him because of his substance abuse problems and knowing without our kids and my family and friends , he hasn’t anyone. I don’t know why I care what happens to him in the future after the horrible way he’s treated me the past year.
    I’ve done the same in the past with other people, they treated me like shit , but I’d feel bad for them and help them despite what they did to me. I’m not very good at holding grudges. It’s the way I was raised, my parents are the same. We are givers , not takers like my narc.
    I almost wish he would get angry enough to hit me, then there would be no question, I’d file for divorce the same day.
    Why can’t I stop caring? I know he doesn’t care whether I live or die.
    I’m dreading the divorce process, I know him and it will be nasty and prolonged. But he’ll be in for a shock, I have enough dirt on him to bury him, and will use it as leverage.
    As usual, my thoughts are all over the place.
    This sucks .

  2. karmicoverload says:

    Thank you Bubbles. As he hasn’t done ANYTHING to remedy his supposed loneliness since he has lived in the UK (Instead choosing to blame the Brits for our “unfriendliness” and “backward ways”) I suspect you’re right.

    1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

      Dear karmicoverload,
      He’s probably telling the cute little chick in the local pub the same thing
      When we met the weasel, he’s was supposedly “lonely” too, no friends, people didn’t seem like him for some “unknown”reason 😩Boo hoo
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  3. NarcAngel says:

    No need for hope. You are here now and have the tools at your disposal to be successful. You are not lonely – you were actually lonely when you were with the narc if you think about it. You are now available for a real relationship. Things are looking up – so keep your head up.

  4. karmicoverload says:

    What if it is the Narcissist saying he is lonely?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      A Pity Play.

      1. karmicoverload says:

        Thank you as always, H.G. Guess he should have started off his messages with the pity play rather than ending with it after a giant rant.

    2. Shelley says:

      This has been my life for 3 and a half years …… every word of this cuts me to the bone because it is exactly what my abuser has put me through ….. i have gone from being an independant , fun but lonely lady in 2016 to a nervous wreck and a shadow of what i used to be ….. now …. and i have walked away from it all hopefully for the last time and hopefully there is better to come for me in the future …… meanwhile back to being lonely !

      1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

        Dear Shelley,
        Embrace your alone time if you can
        It’s a positive step forward to finding yourself again
        NarcAngel is right
        Hang in there precious
        We’re all here for you 🤗
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    3. Bubbles 🍾 says:

      Dear karmicoverload,
      If the narc is saying he’s lonely, he’s lying 🤥
      They’re never lonely
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  5. Pingback: Lonely ⋆ NarcTopia
  6. Bibi says:

    Pretty much, this sums it up.

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.