The Empathic Supernova

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What is the Empathic Supernova?

In order to detail this phenomenon, it is first necessary to consider when it might appear and what is behind its appearance.

The repeated application of our manipulations is deployed for the purposes of maintaining control over you. This control reinforces our notion of superiority,  omnipotence and impregnability and enables us to draw fuel from our appliances and most of all you as our primary source.

I have made mention of the Empathic Group, the group which lies to the left of the empathic-narcissistic spectrum and within this group there are four schools of the empathic individual; the , the Standard Empath, the Co-Dependent, the Super Empath and the Contagion Empath.

The sustained application of the many and varied manipulations produces results for us. It also takes its toll on our victims. The Co-Dependent will cling on, desperate for the self-definition which manifests as a consequence of their ensnarement with us. They will soak up the abuse, the confusion and the control until they reach a point of breakdown. The cumulative effect of the silent treatments, the gas lighting, the physical abuse, the psychological trauma, financial mistreatment and sexual degradation eventually causes the limpet-like Co-Dependent to collapse into numbness, malfunction and potential hospitalisation. They gave and gave until suddenly they fell off the cliff and their fuel provision remained impressive on Monday and by Tuesday it had stopped. No longer capable of pumping out fuel, attending to our requirements and showering us with appropriate traits and residual benefits, this failure to function invariably brings about the discard of this individual. The disengaged from Co-Dependent, although distraught at the loss of the narcissist which they crave, is in no position to try to bring about the resumption of the relationship and thus, whilst we focus on their replacement primary source, they are allowed a period by which they can recover and once the lights switch back on again and the fuel starts to pump, the devaluation of their replacement has begun, so we come looking and hoovering for the Co-Dependent. Unable to resist, because of the nature of the hoovering and their own vulnerability, they are hoovered back in and the narcissistic cycle continues.

Whilst third parties may try to assist the Co-Dependent to see and understand what has happened to them, their own substantial need to connect with a narcissist means it is very hard to make them take notice and stay away from us. Unless physically removed and isolated, the Co-Dependent will drift back to us. If not the original narcissist, a replacement narcissist will invariably be found.

The empathic-narcissistic spectrum is a sliding scale that represents both empathic and narcissistic traits. On the far left the empathic traits are more numerous and stronger whilst the narcissistic traits are fewer and weaker. Move to the right and the empathic traits begin to lessen in number, their effects less evident and the narcissistic traits begin to increase and become more prevalent. Eventually, as one reaches the Narcissistic Group, on the right of this spectrum, the empathic traits have disappeared and all that remain are narcissistic traits which become more numerous and stronger the further right one goes within this Narcissistic Group.

Accordingly, with the Co-Dependent, he or she will have many empathic traits and they are strong in nature. Their devotion to love, their honesty, decency, excellent listening skills, positivity etc are most evident and contribute to create a highly empathic individual. The narcissistic traits are less extensive and the few that exist are generally weaker. Accordingly, this prevalence of empathic traits attracts and is attracted to the prevalence of extensive and strong narcissistic traits. They lock together, complementing one another and consequently the Co-Dependent is inexorably drawn to those within the Narcissistic Group, with next to nothing in terms of their own narcissistic traits to act as some kind of repellant.

The Standard Empath may also find themselves shutting down, but more usually they are prevented from reaching a position of complete numbing though the intervention of a third party. Sure enough the toll exacted on the Standard Empath is considerable and has damaging consequences, but, in general, they manage to avoid more often the fate of the Co-Dependent. Instead, rather than giving and giving until shut down occurs (as is the case with the Co-Dependent) the Standard Empath’s performance deteriorates in terms of fuel output in a more gradual fashion which means that when it dips below a threshold of acceptability for our kind, the Standard Empath is also disengaged from. Not so damaged as to be unable to function, the Standard Empath will endeavour to re-connect with our kind, having sufficient energy and ability to do so, but they will be shunned as part of this disengagement until it is time to hoover them. Unaware of what they have been ensnared by and with capabilities improved after a period of respite arising from the disengagement the Standard Empath is sucked back in by the narcissist and thus the narcissistic cycle continues.

The Standard Empath however may also realise that something is wrong, or assisted by third parties and more amenable to listening, takes notice of what these third parties are telling him or her. They have a moment of ‘awakening’ and with that realise that they must remain away from our grip, however hurtful and hard it may be and thus they eventually escape, putting distance between them and our kind.

The Standard Empath has numerous empathic traits and they are of strength but they are generally less in scale compared to the Co-Dependent. The Standard Empath will have numerous narcissistic traits but not especially strong in nature, but they will have more narcissistic traits than the Co-Dependent. Their status as a Standard Empath (along with the fact that there are more Standard Empaths than Co-Dependents) means that Standard Empaths become the bread and butter target for our kind. They too are attracted to us, not with the almost hopeless vulnerability of the Co-Dependent, but they remain not only attracted to our kind but a target.

Finally, there is the Super Empath. The Super Empath is an excellent provider of fuel also and comes with a confidence and a fieriness which proves most tempting to our kind. The Super Empath sees his or her role as helping, fixing, healing and brining goodness to those around them. They have considerable energy, they are capable and their capacity for sustaining our abuses also makes them a considerably attractive prospect. The Co-Dependent can sustain considerable abuse until suddenly, like a light being extinguished, that is it. The Standard Empath also can sustain our manipulations but their slide is slower and more gradual. The Super Empath, blessed with a vast capacity for empathy and goodness is also somebody who can sustain a lengthy campaign of abuse. There is no slide downwards with this individual like the Standard Empath. There is no sudden collapse like the Co-Dependent. Instead the Super Empath goes in to Supernova mode.

The trait make-up of the Super Empath is different from their cousins in the Empathic Group. Whereas the Co-Dependent has strong and many empathic traits with few and low narcissistic traits and the Standard Empath has a greater number of narcissistic traits  and fairly low narcissistic traits but more and quite strong empathic traits, the Super Empath has a different constitution.

The Super Empath has very strong and numerous empathic traits. He or she also has a significant number of narcissistic traits (more than the Co-Dependent and the Standard Empath but not as many as the Narcissistic Group) and they are stronger in nature than those experienced by the Co-Dependent and the Standard Empath.

This arrangement is not problematic. Liken the Super Empath’s narcissistic make-up to the light from a candle and their empathic make-up the light from a spotlight. The intensity of the spotlight is so bright that the candle light is barely noticed. Accordingly, the narcissistic element to the Super Empath does not appear. The Super Empath behaves in an empathic way and thus is a target for our kind.

There comes a time however when the sustained abuse and the awareness of the Super Empath reaches a critical point. Rather than switch off or slide into decline, the Super Empath will decide that enough is enough. In some instances, this means that the Super Empath will escape and follow a similar route to that of the Empath and distance themselves from the narcissist.

On other occasions they enter into Supernova mode. When this happens, the Super Empath will dim their empathic traits. This can only be dimming. The empathic traits cannot be shut off as they are wired into the empath’s dna. Moreover, this dimming can only continue for a period of time and is not permanent. The naturally strong empathic nature of the Super Empath means that it will blaze bright again.

However, when this dimming takes places, the gap between empathy and narcissism in the Super Empath lessens so that the narcissistic traits are more prevalent. They do not dominate nor do they take over, but they are allowed to ‘shine’. However, whereas in our kind the application of our narcissistic traits is unfettered since we have no empathic traits and thus these traits are directed in a malevolent, harmful and destructive manner, the Super Empath uses these unleashed narcissistic traits for ‘good’.

This means that they will fight back against our kind and remain in the relationship with us. They will shut off the fuel provision, they will engage in manipulation of us, having learned how to effect it form their accompanying journey with out kind. The Super Empath will wound and wound, striking blow upon blow against the narcissist.  It is worth pointing out that the Super Empath does not necessarily know that they are with a narcissist (they may only realise this later) but rather they know that something is very wrong in the relationship and it must no longer continue.

Thus when some people ask the question

“Can you become a narcissist from being with a narcissist?”

or

“Can I pick up narcissistic traits from my experience of being entangled with a narcissist?”

The answer remains no.

But, if you find that you are exhibiting such traits and you are deploying them against the narcissist, what has happened is that you are allowing your inherent narcissistic traits to have greater prominence. You keep them under control and you are not allowing them to harm or hurt innocent parties, but rather you are applying them against the narcissist in order to strike back. You always had these traits, you have not gained them by being with us, but what you have learned is how to manipulate from being with us and now you are turning those manipulations against us.

The effect against us is varied.

The Lesser Narcissist will discard immediately with a display of ignited fury as he seeks to escape the turning of the tables. He will need to get away from this empowered Super Empath and find a new primary source straight away. He wants to shrink from this blazing  supernova of power which is causing him considerable difficulty through the cessation of fuel and the wounding from repeated criticism.

The Mid-Range Narcissist will find himself in a tormented loop as he tries to assert control. He will not comprehend truly what is happening. He will not want to lose the Super Empath owing to the fuel provision, but he is finding that his ability to manipulate and the reasonable degree of calculation that he has, is being sorely tested. He will try to assert his control through passive aggressive means, even pleading with the Super Empath to stop and ‘why can’t you be good to me again’? He will roll out the pity plays and sympathy cards in order to try to achieve superiority again. However,  either the Super Empath decides to escape and leaves the Mid-Ranger in a confused and bewildered state or the Mid-Ranger slinks away and discards,unable to sustain the fight and needing a new and far more compliant primary source.

The Greater Narcissist will rail against this insurrection and fight back. He will draw on fuel from alternative sources (usually the IPSS or IPSSs he has in the wings along with fuel form those NISS who are his inner and outer circle friends). He will relish the challenge shown by the Super Empath and a real battle of wills ensues as each combatant deploys manipulation after manipulation against one another. This hammer and tongs clash of the  titans sees the Super Empath applying what they have learned, similar to the apprentice turning on his or her master, as the old hand seeks to slap down the irreverent upstart. The Super Empath may withdraw and escape, satisfied that they have made their mark and scarred the Greater. The Greater may ultimately recognise that only a stalemate (for now) can ensue and breaks off, discarding the Super Empath and focusses on the acquisition of a new primary source (or more likely the promotion of an already ensnared IPSS). The Greater however will not leave matters there. A note will be made to rejoin battle in due course and bring the Super Empath to heel.

Thus the Empathic Supernova is when the Super Empath determines that enough is enough and he or she reduces their empathic traits, allowing the narcissistic traits to come to the fore and in so doing he or she trains their sights on making life difficult, miserable and awkward for the narcissist. This is why our kind proceed with caution with the Super Empath. Their capacity for sucking up the abusive devaluation and their impressive fuel provision is tempting indeed, but reaching the critical point and causing the ignition of the Empathic Supernova can have dire consequences for our kind.

Not for me of course. I relish the challenge and the assertion of hegemonic dominance. Obviously.

18 thoughts on “The Empathic Supernova

  1. Leela says:

    This is a very interesting and fascinating article (excuse me, I posted my comment on an old article, so I post it here again). The article describes me, as a Super Carrier Empath perfectly. I undertook TCD and EDC and now I understand why I and others behave the way they do.

    I used to mention several times in my older posts that I get to a point when “enough is enough”!!! I first thought that everybody feels this way. Now I understand that this is not the case. I have this “enough is enough” because I am in fact a Super Empath! I´m even in the middle of the Empath-Narc-scale.

    Of course I fought back and used mainly triangulation. I went Supernova pretty early on, even already during the love bombing phase because I recognized that something is off here! Something was fishy! You don´t call anybody your “friend” without knowing the person and without trying to get to know them! I already fought back during the love bombing phase but was not strong enough due to an episode of my mental illness.

    The passive-aggressive middle mid range narc was struggling hardly to assert control! He had to work very hard for it! 😉

  2. alexine99 says:

    My ex actually made all the pity plays and then used term ‘stalemate’ with me. It’s fascinating…

  3. Why me? says:

    HG,

    1. Are the narcissistic traits during this supernova stronger than the narcissistic traits in normals?

    2. Are the narcissistic traits in the super empath (not during supernova) stronger than in normals?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. The narcissistic traits are stronger for the relevant individual, not because of the supernova.

      2. Yes.

      1. Why me? says:

        Oh, okay. That makes sense because I always felt more narcissistic and empathic than normals but I know I’m not a narcissist/NPD. Okay, now it adds up. Thanks, HG!

        1. alexine99 says:

          Me too!

          This came as quite the revelation to me just yesterday. The result was an unexpected and significant weight lifted and degree of energy restored. I now know what I must to do…there’s a map available to everyone here on this forum. My feeling on it is… sometimes medicine doesn’t taste good but it can heal. Listen up.

          It’s been years of searching for and explanation and answers that make complete sense. In my opinion, the majority of therapists and counsellors are in the dark re these issues…this includes most that claim to be experts. They approach it in a backward kind of way which actually may exacerbate trauma, which in turn leaves the empath in limbo…potentially searching for truth their entire lives!

          It’s freedom if one arms themselves with knowledge and then utilises it. This is what I intend to do.
          I’m truly grateful for this information and I will also teach my child in a way that is appropriate for their age.

          Many thanks HG,
          A

          1. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome.

  4. njfilly says:

    I went supernova on my ex narcissist boyfriend before I left. He was a game player, as apparently all narcissists are, but I know how to play games also. I just don’t really want to. At first I ignored the games. Then I began to get even with him, but I did think, how sad it was that I was in such a dysfunctional relationship. Most of the dysfunction coming from him, of course.

    The most satisfying thing I did to him happened just before I left him for good. He did something that angered me more than anything else, or possibly I was just so tired of his shenanigans at the end that I had enough. He posted a video to his facebook page, “6 ways to tell you are in the wrong relationship”, or something similar. A video with written words set to music outlining things such as ‘your partner doesn’t support you’ and things of that nature. All 6 that applied to him rather than me. Although I do have a facebook page I am a very private person and I don’t broadcast my problems or relationship on facebook, so it really irritated me. When I saw the post I texted him saying things like “If you have a problem with me, you discuss it with me”; “it’s disrespectful to me to post that”, “you are part of this relationship, so therefore, you are part of the problem and need to be part of the solution”, etc. I texted him about once a day, and for three days I kept checking to see if he removed the post. I so wanted him to do the right thing but of course, he didn’t. I noticed his post received no comments and only about 4 likes. At the end of three days I made my own post on my facebook page that read simply “My boyfriend sucks. I need a new one”. Then I texted him and I told him that I had made my own post that said the same thing as his only more bluntly. Then the flood gates opened.

    First my friends all called or texted me because they had seen the post and contacted me to see what was wrong. They all said they knew this to be out of character for me and was wondering what was going on. I had to explain to them that there was a backstory to the post and that this was a “tit for tat” post. Most of my friends agreed with me that his post was disrespectful, and some even said that it would be the end of the relationship for them, as well, once our problems got broadcast to facebook. Most of them, though, were also shocked that I made that post and suggested that I remove the post and “take the high road”, which is my usual course. This time, however, I did need to give him a taste of his own medicine so I did not remove the post.

    Then men began texting me and I told them all to comment directly on the post. My facebook page had previously been limited to only friends and family, or local people and groups, however, at the end of my relationship with the narcissist I began accepting friend requests from men as part of the end time games I began to play with him. By the end of three days I had about 90 comments, some from friends, but most from men saying “I’m available”, “I’m single”, ” Here’s my phone number”, etc. . Although I didn’t respond to every comment I did acknowledge them all by liking the comment. Finally, my boyfriend made a comment which read “It’s good to see you have men you can date so that you will not be alone”, or something similar to that. His was the only comment that went unacknowledged.

    After a few days when the commotion died down I sent my boyfriend a text that read “There has always been, just as there will always be, more men who want to be with me than women who want to be with you”. This statement is true. He didn’t respond.

    By the end of our relationship I sensed that he was losing control. Although I didn’t know he was a narcissist I could tell that his anger was escalating. When he finally called me after my facebook post I answered the phone and hadn’t even said “hello” yet and he was already yelling. I hung up. Then he sent me a barrage of angry text messages, to which I didn’t respond. Then I began not answering the phone, I sent him an email ending the relationship, then finally I blocked him from contacting me.

    I never dated any of the men who contacted me from facebook because I don’t date off facebook. I just wanted to make a point and I believe I did.

    1. cadavera666 says:

      I give you props, cuz every time I’ve tried to do the “eye for an eye” thing, it backfires and blows up in my face. Good for you and even though it won’t have caused him to make any proactive or positive changes, it’s nice to give them their just desserts every now and then.

      1. njfilly says:

        Thank you cadavera666. Yes, he deserved it. When I remember this, I sit back and smile.

    2. Alexissmith2016 says:

      That’s hilarious NJ. Bloody well done x

      1. njfilly says:

        Thank you Alexissmith2016. I was very happy with the way it worked out!

  5. lickemtomorrow says:

    Been there,, done that.

    Hopefully the narc is done now, too.

  6. FN says:

    This article is extremely helpful to me in explaining my behavior /attitude towards the boss and coworker (and others) who are both narcs. I do at times, “fight back”, withdraw fuel (deliberate) and deliver a “fuck you” attitude so didn’t feel so helpless (albeit crazy) knowing it would bother them but this completely clarifies for me what I am doing..thank you so much. Despite reading countless articles over the last few years, I am amazed at the clarity and insight you have on this topic. I am extremely grateful to have found your work.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You’re welcome

  7. Intrepid Traveller says:

    Have any of your girlfriends been super empaths HG? Can you give an example of their fight back against you?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes. This is covered in the Asylum of the Grotesque.

  8. dollysupreme says:

    I am thankful that I have some narc traits. There’s a lot to be said for having both. It came as such a shock to people around me to see what the narc had almost reduced me to…..But the Empire strikes back lol……

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