Sadistic Streak



You could be forgiven for thinking that all of our kind are sadists. From your perspective, much of our behaviour, if not all, makes no sense and therefore it could be argued that to behave in the manner that we do must mean that we are all sadists. That is an understandable proposition. After all, if one day a person is kind to you and then the next is nasty to you when you have given them no reason to behave like that, then surely such behaviour is sadistic is it not? The behaviour has no grounding in any logic, the nastiness is manifesting just for the hell of it, is it not? Are we then not deriving pleasure from your hurt and discomfort and therefore that must makes us sadists?

A true or pure sadist is one who derives pleasure from the sadistic act. This often manifests in a sexual arena in that the act of sadism is acted out in a sexual engagement or the sadist becomes sexually aroused from the sadistic act (which may not be sexual in nature). Accordingly, a sadist may derive sexual pleasure from flagellating a bound and gagged individual. Similarly, a sadist may become sexually aroused from murdering the pet kitten of someone else.

Those of you have familiarity with my works will understand that fromm the narcissistic perspective, what we do is not done solely for pleasure (indeed we do not experience pleasure or joy) but rather it is done for the purposes of gaining fuel. It is our need for fuel which is the driver behind all of our behaviours because the emotional response of another provides us with the validation that we desperately require to fill up the void which exists inside of us.

The acquisition of fuel occurs in many, many arenas. It might be gaining a smile from an appreciative stranger as get in a lift with them, from the tears of our partner who is crying after we have held them by the throat and described how much we hate them or from them ecstatic groans of our lover as we provide them with orgasmic relief. In each instance, fuel is what flows, fuel is the aim and fuel is what is required.

All of our kind receives fuel from the emotional response of others. We do not feel joy from inflicting pain on you because we do not feel joy. Your pained expression provides fuel. It could be tears, it could be a smile, it could be laughter. As long as there is an emotional response then we gain fuel.

When you are hurt from our manipulations this is a by product of our need to gain fuel. It is a collateral consequence. Our lack of empathy means that we do not care that you are hurt. However, it goes further than this. The reduced cognitive function of the Lesser (and to some degree the lower echelons of the Mid-Ranger) means that not only do they not care that you are being hurt, they do not know you are being hurt. They see an emotional reaction and that provides fuel (although of course they do not know the mechanics of that operation). They cannot recognise the pain. I appreciate this will be rather hard for some people to grasp – how can he not know I am hurt when I am telling him so and he sees my face twisted in pain and the tears spilling down my face? The fact is, those members of our brethren neither care nor know. Thus when you are manipulated it is done purely for the fuel, it is not done primarily to hurt you. This is cold comfort nevertheless as the outcome remains the same. You are hurt.

Where we have a sadistic streak (and this is more prevalent with the upper echelons of the Mid-Range and the Greater Narcissist) we know we are hurting you and we do not care. The knowledge of your hurt adds further fuel. Accordingly, your emotional response which we witness provides us with the fuel (in the same way as a Lesser or lower echelon Mid-Ranger would) but the knowledge you are being hurt and we are causing this, provides  us with extra potent fuel.

A sadist behaves in the way that he or she does purely for the sake of pleasure. We do not do it. If we have a sadistic streak then we deploy it in our machinations for two purposes:-

  1. The provision of extra-potent fuel as described above; and
  2. For the purposes of punishment and revenge.

Our aim, through this sadism, is not solely pleasure but rather the reinforcement of our superiority. Not all of our kind wish to punish, hence, they have no sadistic streak. The Mid-Ranger who has lost his primary source will feel fury for this transgression but he is far more likely to direct his energies to applying an Initial Grand Hoover to get you back and reinstate the golden period. He has no urge to punish you. Even if that IGH fails, he will then focus on recruiting a new primary source and he will leave you alone. There may be benign follow-up hoovers when he devalues the new primary source, but there is still no desire to punish you He may be looking to ‘win you back’ or just gain positive fuel. If this fails, he may not apply a malign hoover, but instead will leave you be before returning at a later juncture with another benign hoover (if conditions are right).

If you have been discarded by a Lesser but you keep trying to find out why he has discarded you, he will apply malign hoovers. This is not done as an act of revenge, but is rather done to make you stay away so he can focus on his new primary source and so you will not spoil this golden period by telling lies (the truth) about him to the new primary source. He wants you deleted and the malign hoovers are a response to your interference.

If you find yourself in a situation where you know that your particular narcissist has a new primary source, you are doing nothing to enter the spheres of influence but your narcissist will not leave you alone and is applying malign hoovers against you, this is evidence of the sadistic streak. It manifests as a malicious obsession which causes you to enter the sixth sphere of influence (see the relevant section in What is Making Him Come Back? ) and then the Hoover Execution Criteria are met.

The relevant narcissist may not actually receive any Proximate Fuel from you as you are treated to these malign hoovers because he cannot see your reactions, so you may wonder, why would he do this? The reasons are as follows:-

  1. The sadistic streak means that he is willing to sacrifice the fuel he is gaining from the new primary source to carry out this sadistic, malign campaign against you. Usually, the narcissist will want to gorge on this positive fuel from the new primary source and keep his attention on this person, but where there is a sadistic streak, he is willing to use some of this fuel to power the malicious campaign against you as the discarded or escaped former primary source.
  2. The sadistic behaviour allows for the provision of Thought Fuel as the sadistic narcissist contemplates your terrified reactions and it is his perception of how you feel (even though he cannot see it and thus it is not Proximate Fuel) . Ordinarily, a non-sadistic narcissist would not bother to apply the energy to gain this weaker Thought Fuel but a sadistic narcissist will do so.
  3. Our superiority is maintained by doling out punishment and revenge. A non-sadistic narcissist would seek that reinforcement with a new primary source (because it is easier to gain that positive fuel from them and to focus on them solely). The demands of the sadistic narcissist are such that he requires this ratification and validation from both current primary source (positive fuel) and discarded former primary source (negative Thought Fuel and the power felt from the application of revenge).

Accordingly, when you are entangled with a narcissist, so that the Formal relationship is continuing and you are being devalued, and he exhibits sadistic behaviours towards you, this is for the purposes of gaining extra potent fuel. If the sadism occurs post escape or discard, this is done to punish you. If Proximate Fuel arises, so much the better but if it does not, this is not a massive concern to the sadistic narcissist because we are willing to sacrifice the fuel gained from another source in order to power our desire to achieve revenge over you.

Since you look at matters from your perspective and not ours, you may find it difficult to truly distinguish when sadistic behaviour is being used against you during the Formal Relationship. It is, however, at its most recognisable when you have escaped us or have been discarded. If you know we have a new primary source but there is a campaign of hurtful behaviour being used against you – slashing the tyres on your car, putting bricks through your windows, posting unsavoury comments about you online, handing outflyers accusing you of child abuse and such like – this is the sadism being manifested. This is not a smear because the smearing happens prior to your discard (so we have got in first) or if you have escaped, the smear will happen before we get another primary source. The key determining factor in knowing that you are facing a sadistic narcissist is that we have a new primary source and instead of relishing solely in the golden period with them, we are lashing out at you again and again.

9 thoughts on “Sadistic Streak

  1. Bibi says:

    Well, that pic of stepping on a fucking roach earns no sympathy. My inner psychopath emerges and they all must die.

    HG, I had another dream with you that I need to share b/c it is somewhat funny, and albeit strange. You started up a YT channel with animation and had Reese Witherspoon voice the narration. Then, we were transported to your house that resembled a castle and I recall lots of fancy sinks. They were large and porcelain with fancy handles and shit.

    Then you said, ‘I’m thirsty,’ wherein you lowered yourself into the video to drink from the sink and you revealed your profile–just a muted white dude you were. More distinct than the Amish doll, however.

    In the dream I thought, ‘That’s weird. Why would he show his profile?’ Then I woke and could not fall back to sleep.

    Sometimes I wonder if I should apologize for my dreams. ‘Sorry I imagined you appearing so weird,’ or something. I don’t remember much from your profile other than you had a nose, which is good.

  2. Veronique Trimble says:

    Hi HG I have a narcissist that actively avoids me and has other people reporting back to him were I am so he can avoid me i’m not sure but I think that’s to get fuel from them because I don’t actually react in anyway to that I’m not upset about not seeing him. I was discarded years ago for rejecting him in the golden period I did really like him but I Knew he was a narcissist and there has been no contact since I have had a lot of malignant hoovering mostly from other women on behalf of him ,who he has believing that I’m trying to hurt him in some fashion becauseHe’s told them that I want a relationship with him and I don’t. I really do care about this guy as a person just not wanting to be involved with narcissist. I don’t understand that because I actually rejected him I saw the red flags very early Anyway my question will he stop this ever Or is this something that he is just going to use to get fuel from other people because he doesn’t get it from me?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Your comment raises a number of points with regard to whether these people are actually reporting back on you or whether you mistakenly believe they are, as well as questions about your no contact regime. I need more information from you so that I can provide you with an accurate response and therefore I recommend that you organise a consultation so that I can help you in detail.

  3. Pingback: Sadistic Streak ⋆ NarcTopia
  4. Tony C. says:

    Okay, so I was discarded but he decided to apply benign Hoovers 12 of the 14 days after the discard. They were check-ins. I stopped calling and texting him, so I should have been out of sight and out of mind, especially with him being in the golden period with the new supply. So what does this mean because he didn’t just forget about me?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Difficult to answer without knowing more about the position you held in the fuel matrix and other factors also, please arrange an email consultation and I will be able to give you an accurate answer.

  5. lickemtomorrow says:

    HG, it was very difficult to read the portion of this article which states that the Lesser and Lower Mid Range narcissist do not know they are hurting us – related to their lower cognitive empathy. You were right. That was hard to hear. I understand they don’t care as their purpose is to gain fuel. I’m afraid I’m finding the ‘not knowing’ a difficult pill to swallow. Regardless of the need to gain fuel, they must know they are causing pain (thus the negative response) in order to gather that. It seems like a massive ‘shirk of responsibility’ to say not only do I not care, but I also don’t know. Everything about the interaction is shouting pain and discomfort. Distress and agony.

    I’m sorry, but this is a little like asking us to let them off the hook because apparently they don’t know.

    As to the sadistic narcissist, I had just finished reading about the ‘Malice Campaign’ when I came to this article. So, is the malice campaign related to the narcissist having a sadistic streak? Is that the reason it is undertaken?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is not asking you to let them off the hook, that is your interpretation, I do not state that. I am simply explaining how it is so you understand.

      1. lickemtomorrow says:

        HG, I appreciate your reply. That was my interpretation, so you are correct in saying that.

        As I said, it was a difficult pill to swallow to imagine they don’t know, even if they don’t care.

        I guess you explaining it and me understanding it are two different things. I want to understand.

        I’m glad you explained.

        I just need some time to get my head around it. And here are a few more thoughts/questions to help me do that.

        I’m trying to put it together with the idea of gathering negative fuel. If you know it is negative, surely you must know that it relates to hurt? Or is it because the narcissist doesn’t experience these emotions they do not recognize them in others? What about cognitive empathy?

        I’m getting all tangled up in the cognitive empathy angle here, I think.

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