You Should


What is the prevailing mind-set of the Mid Range Narcissist? What is going through the mind of the member of the largest school of narcissism when an appliance has been treacherous and disloyal? Does he manifest the malice that is exhibited by the Greater school or is his response different? What is he thinking when there is treason committed in the Kingdom of Mid-Range? Whether the appliance has escaped him, exposed him, challenged him or some other capital crime against the nation-state of narcissism, the Mid-Ranger’s mind goes into overdrive. This is a glimpse inside to understand what he or she believes.

You should not have done that to me. You should be thankful for who I am. You should be giving thanks to whichever god you follow that you have someone like me in your life, someone who cares, someone who is considerate, someone who only wants the best for you. You should be ashamed of the way you have treated me. You should apologise this instant. You should say sorry to me for the way you have behaved. You should treat others the way you want to be treated and not going around behaving like you are something special. You should realise I am something special and you keep treating me terribly. You should understand that I am a good, honest and decent person and not everybody would put up with your hysterical outbursts. You should know how hard it is to love somebody like you, but I do. You should be grateful for that.

You should know who you are messing with. You should be wary of getting on the wrong side of me you know. You should make sure you keep me happy because you will not like me when I am not happy. You should be looking out for me and not gadding around after other people. You should learn what your priorities are. You should spend more time with me. You should know when to leave me alone. You should be here and doing what I want. You should try giving for once rather than doing all of this taking.

You should be more aware of the way that you treat people and especially me. You should think more about how your actions impact on me. You should take my feelings into account and stop being so selfish. You should realise just what you do hurts me. You should understand that the things you say and do to me have consequences. You should stop making it all about you and let me have a say from time to time. You should stop being so obsessed with your friends’ lives and think about our lives together. You should spend less time with your family, they do not appreciate you in the way I do.

You should stop telling lies about me. You should get your own house in order before you start telling me how I should lead my life. You shouldn’t live in a glass house you know and throw stones. You should stop being such a nasty person to someone who has only ever been good to you. You should stop smearing my name to other people. You should take a look in the mirror. You should take a good look in the mirror actually.

You should stop putting me down. You should do what I want for a change. You should come back and apologise, I am a reasonable person and you should recognise that. You should make things right again because after all this is all your fault. You should stop fighting with me, I do not know why you have to do this. You should stop trying to tie me in knots. You should be more considerate. You should think about me more. You should sort this mess out because you are the only one who has caused it.

You should see how hard I have been trying for us. You should recognise a good person when you see one. You should know I have made the changes you demanded but you should be making some of your own as well. You should realise just how much I have tried for you and me.

You should know what other people say about you. You should realise that I put up with people saying bad things about you and you should be grateful I defend you to them, but I won’t keep doing it forever. You should realise you are not as popular as you think you are. You should be aware that I am a popular person and you won’t come out of this looking good at all.

You shouldn’t treat me like this. You shouldn’t destroy what I have built. You should recognise a good person, an honest person, a truthful person like me. You should learn just what you have lost by behaving like this. You should see just how many people hold me in high regard. You should be so happy to have someone like me, someone who people think well of and they do, just ask anybody and they will tell you. You should take the time to realise that I am a good person and consider what you are doing to me, to us, to what we have.

You should stop hurting me. You should stop getting a kick out of this horrible treatment of me. You should stop being mean to someone who loves you. You should help me. You should love me more. You should show me that you mean it. You should stop with the pretence. You should be genuine like me. You should stop playing the games. You should be the person that would make your grandmother proud. You should be the best person you can be for me.

You should get some help. You should see someone. You should go to therapy. You should sort these problems out. You should stop blaming me. You should stop projecting your problems and insecurities on to me. You should stop the game-playing, I am cleverer than you so I see straight through it. You should tell the truth for once You should stop making up stories about me. You should reflect on what you do. You should get some insight into what you are actually doing. You should shut up and listen to me for once. You should go and see the doctor. You should take your medication. You should stop being such a borderline. You should stop being such an attention-seeker. You should stop dodging the issue. You should address your issues.

You should let me speak. You should give me a chance to make things right again. You should come back because you owe me. You should let me show you what I can do. You should understand sometimes I don’t know what comes over me. You should make allowances for my behaviour because you are worse. You should not focus on the handful of supposedly bad things I do when I do way more good things. You should listen to why I do those things because if you did you would realise there is always a very good reason behind it. You should understand I have to disappear once in a while because your behaviour becomes too much. You should understand I am not sulking, I am just being quiet. You should accept I have to tell people about the way you behave because otherwise I would go mental. You should think about the names I call you and realise I am actually trying to help you because otherwise you will not listen. You should stop trying to blame me for everything that goes wrong and instead be grateful for what I do for you.

You should give it a rest now because you are giving me a headache. You should go and let me rest because I have been working hard all day. You should rub my back. You should make me something to eat. You should be there when I come home. You should stay out of my way when I am fed up of you. You should ask me how I am and not keep telling me about what you want. You should stop telling me how I should behave. You should see what I have to deal with. You should try being me. You should understand how much pain I am in from my back and not complain about your own supposed ailments. You should show some consideration for me now and again. You should get off your high horse. You should give it a rest. You should try walking in my shoes. You should try being me for a day. You should look at it from my point of view. You should make allowances. You should be more tolerant.

You should do it because you want to. You should do it for us. You should have more faith. You should have more discipline. You should have more resolve. You should let me in. You should keep out. You should learn when to speak. You should learn when to stay quiet. You should be seen and not heard. You should follow me. You should watch what I do . You should learn from an expert. You should stick with me. You should be mine. You should stay away from him. You should not speak to them. You should know what is best for you. You should know home is where the heart is. You should know where you bread is buttered. You should know how lucky you are to have me.

You should come back.

You should because I say so.

You just should.

24 thoughts on “You Should

  1. blackcoffee30 says:

    He always had so many suggestions for me, but he was not in a place to make them. I was an IPSS, and didn’t value his opinions. His opinions always annoyed me. Good taste in most things, beer not being one of them.

  2. Leea says:


    These folks take “pimping” to a whole new level!!
    These folks are providing “perpetual trauma” to their victims.

    1. MommyPino says:


      Totally! The tattoo if not removed is a permanent reminder of the trauma. Absolutely horrible. It wasn’t just about sex but about being treated without dignity of being a human being.

      1. Leela says:

        How on earth can they treat you with dignity when they don´t even perceive you as a human being? You´re an object to them! Like a watch, a pen, a toaster, an iPhone, you name it. “My” narc gave me a pet name and treated me like a 5 year old.

        “It´s already bed time for my little (pet name) ?”

        I don´t know if I should laugh loudly or my lunch out. 😀

  3. Romica says:

    Who I am? Sometimes I feel I am empath, sometimes I feel I am narcissist. Feeling of narcissism brings such a relief. This may be because I have gone through so much things now I dont want to be empath again

  4. Romica says:

    I am this sometimes. Does this makes me a narcissist?

    1. HG Tudor says:


    2. NarcAngel says:

      I cook sometimes. Doesn’t make me a chef.

    3. Eternity says:

      Romica, if you are questioning yourself If you are Narcissist you are probably not.
      Empathetic people are not saints and we make mistakes. Sometimes our Narcissistic traits do come out when we are stressed,tired unhappy.

  5. Leela says:

    And everything gets even “better” when one of the Flying Monkeys says all those things to you!

    “You should stop making such a fuss. Look at (name of the narc), how nice he is, how much burden he takes with you. How much burden he bears with you”

    “You should apologize to (name of the narc)”

    Then, Ladies and Gentlemen, you start REALLY questioning your sanity and don´t know what happened to you and to the world. It really looks like the narc has put those thoughts into the head of the Flying Monkey. It´s creepy! It´s gruesome!

    Then comes the narc saying things like: “You should apologize for what you said”, “You were totally over-reacting”, “You were acting irrationally”, “Did you talk to your doctor about that?”

    “You totally misunderstood everything! Again!” (of course without an explanation)

    Gaslighting and Blame Shifting: the favorite tools of the Mid Ranger Narc! 😉

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Coterie, not flying monkey. See The Truth About Flying Monkeys

      1. Leela says:

        Yes, his Leutenant. I read it, but like the word “Flying Monkey”. It was super creepy anyway! Like the Leutenant was speaking from the narcs mouth! I really questioned reality then!

  6. Marcia says:

    For years I’ve been hearing this, in all it’s delusional ways. Looking back, it’s like a giant puzzle where the pieces were scattered all over and I was in the middle of this no stop word salad of what I did wrong, that I should apologize (for what…I wondered, I still had some sense of normalcy). I wasn’t aware that I lived with someone with a serious mental health problem, because he still functioned more or less normal outdoors.

    And then I stopped reacting on advice of a great therapist. Just ‘really?’ ‘Should I?’ ‘Let me think about that’ ‘interesting view’ etc. And I locked myself in the bathroom, to make him stop following me around the house and keep on talking.

    A wonder happens. He got bored, lost control over me and in half a year he found another victim and moved out. After 30 years of abuse. The luckiest day of my life.

  7. Marcia says:

    It’s am

  8. cadavera says:

    Daniel????? You;re HG???? No freaking way! I’ve missed you! And……I have a new ruler–it’s metal. You ready?

    (the ick is to Daniel, not HG)

  9. Summer says:


  10. Leea says:


    Does this school of narcs have lieutenants? I am a little over 50 days no contact. Since then I have received 8 calls from the new supply which I haven’t answered -from different numbers. I just think she wants to see if he’s with me. I’m not worried about her calls. It’s the calls/texts/messages from his so-called female friend That has a live-in boyfriend, but I found out that my narc and her get together for an occasional “screw”. I believe that she is the lieutenant. She is hounding me! She’s came over to my house and I left her standing outside! Is he using her to Hoover me?

    All these “shoulds”! My God he used all of these!!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      See The Truth About Flying Monkeys.

      1. Leea says:

        Thank you, H.G.

      2. Leea says:

        Thanks HG! I’m reading it now. Would you consider Ghislaine Maxwell a Lieutenant and Jeffrey Epstein a greater narc?

        1. MommyPino says:

          Hi Leea, I believe I saw HG say that she is a narcissist. I believe that she is acting to get her own Prime Aims and it just so happens that she achieves it by working with Epstein as a team.

          1. Leea says:


            Thank you!

            I would’ve considered her both as she was securing victims for him, normalizing his actions. Would Epstein be considered a greater narc?

          2. MommyPino says:

            You’re welcome. I think you’re right, she is a lieutenant and a narcissist both. I cannot make a guess on what school of narc Epstein is. It’s easy to guess his cadre though, Somatic.

            I see some similarities with their dynamic with Allison Mack and the leader of the NXIVM sex cult. I believe that Allison Mack is a narcissist as well.

  11. Eternity says:

    You’ve hit the nail on the head with this article HG!

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