One More Chance



What harm could it do to give us one more chance? Like the gambler placing another bet in the hope of winning big, there is everything to gain and not much more to lose really is there?

You are down amongst the dead so what could possibly go wrong? Besides, imagine if you did not do so? Imagine that you pass up this opportunity and somebody else takes it? Somebody else benefits from all of your work and they get it right.

They do and say the right things so they enjoy the joy of the ecstasy forever. It would be like allowing someone ahead of you in the queue and they buy a winning lottery scratchcard from the selection you had your eye on. So near, yet oh so far.

Imagine the crushing dejection of knowing that you had it in your grasp but you failed to follow through and seize the moment. How could you live with yourself thereafter if you failed to act on this glorious chance?

You don’t want to let anybody else gain the advantage do you? Not after everything you have done to steady the ship, to keep things afloat and to steer a sensible course through hazardous waters.

You are owed that chance.

You are entitled to that magnificent outcome and here it is being offered to you. All you have to do is take hold of it and give us another chance to make things right. Yes, it has failed in the past but did Robert the Bruce give up in his attempts to defeat the English? No he did not, he kept on going didn’t he and I know, I just know that you are made of similar stuff.

You have that indefatigable spirit, that is why I chose you. I knew you would not give up. Too many people let me down, but not you. You aren’t going to do that are you? You have your eyes on the prize. You could not live with yourself if you knew you had given up the chance for us to return to our glorious relationship once again.

I know some people say that past behaviour is the greatest indicator of future behaviour but they are just bitter because they lacked the capacity and the ability to make a change. They wanted to make a difference but they didn’t have the goods.

They didn’t have the gumption, the wherewithal, the necessary to do the job. You have. I can tell. I know these things and if you just believe in me this one time then everything will be different. Just one chance. That is all that I am asking for. It isn’t much, not after everything we have been through.

You aren’t going to throw away everything that we have built up are you? I surely do not think that you will do such a thing. You are not like that. You believe in us and you are the one who holds the key to a magical future. Just place the key in the lock, turn it and open the door to me.

I will be there waiting. I have all the time in the world. I am not going to go anywhere soon if I know that you are going to continue to believe in me, but if you are going to give up, even though I don’t think you will, well, there are plenty who will take your place.

No, I haven’t got anybody lined up, I am not saying that. I am just pointing out that someone as special as me, well, there are people who would be interested, that is all that I am saying. But let’s not talk about them.

That is just something which might happen if you make the wrong decision. Not that you will. You are good at making decisions. I know that. You chose to be with me. Oh I know I made it seem like that I came after you but let’s not delude ourselves here, you are the one who made the decision.

After all, you are in control of your own destiny aren’t you? I just offered myself to you, you had to make the decision to make that step towards me and you did and do you know why? Because you know. You know that we belong together. You know how we feel about one another.

Yes, I know there are difficult times, but that is just what life throws at us but you and I, well, we are better than that aren’t we? I am not trying to influence you because I have ultimate faith in you to do the right thing. You know your own mind. All I am doing is asking yourself whether it is worth throwing away all that we have, all that we can have, just because you will not give me another chance?

I know you are someone who believes in the power of love. I do too. Love is all that we need and what you and I have, well, nobody else really understands it do they? I know what people say about me and you being together, but it is all jealousy. Are you going to let the outrageous comments of others deny you your happiness?

I would not think that for a moment you would conceivably allow that to happen. You are your own person. I have always respected that. I gave you what you needed. I know at times I might be a hard task master but I did it for us because it is only when you are truly and sorely tested that you can tell that it is love.

Anybody can love like the books and the films. Anybody can be on top of their game when they have no worries and no concerns. A real test of a relationship is when the chips are down, when your backs are against the wall when it is against all odds. It is when somebody else interferes, wants what you have and you have to fight for what you want. You have.

I have seen the fire and the determination in your eyes because I know you want me. You want us to be together. We have been tested, repeatedly, but have we not come through it? Have we not come out on the other side and we are better for it? Our love has become stronger because we have been tested and we survived that test. Are you going to let all of that go to waste just because I say some things in the heat of the moment?

That is passion for you, you bring it out in me, I cannot help it that you cause these emotions to erupt from me. Would you rather me be a cold and heartless shell? Of course you would not. I am what I am and I am a cauldron which you manage to stir because that is how you and I are.

Other people hurl their opinions around, I know they do, I am not stupid, I know what they say, but they do not understand you and me. They do not have what we have and they are misguided at best and jealous at worst. It will always be the case that people are envious of me, it happens repeatedly when you are someone like me, I deal with it.

So, give me another chance. It is easy and we have so, so much to look forward to. There is nothing really more you can lose is there by trying again, but if you don’t you will always wonder, “what if?” and it will drive you demented not knowing what might have been if you had trusted your instinct and allowed me back.

Let’s do it. Let’s create our wonderful world again. Just you and me.

Just say yes.

36 thoughts on “One More Chance

  1. alexine99 says:

    Maybe someone can help me…I handled my recent hoover well and without emotional thinking or communication. As a result of HG’s work I may actually be successful in retrieving my money and a degree of self respect) from this weasel!
    What has happened unexpectedly for me is that my ET is through the roof!
    I’m suffering big time…feelIng guilty for my lack of emotion in response to his pity play and sorry for this pathetic jerk!
    I understand what’s happening but I’m really struggling to manage it and I don’t want to undo what I’ve have already achieved in a moment of weakness.
    I was dong well until this twerp resurfaced and spewed his sentimental rubbish.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Revisit you NCR, it is not as robust as it should be since you “handled a hoover”. You should not be handling any hoovers.

      1. alexine99 says:

        I know.. you are absolutely right HG. I got tricked as the correspondence pertained to instructions re repayment.

        I’ve been so unsettled today that I’ve decided to screw the money. If it shows up great if not…it’s not worth it. The amount is in the thousands of dollars. What it represents is significant to me and my work. I also must learn not to put my creative work before myself. These things are very much intertwined, and I find it difficult to separate them.
        I hate feeling like this especially since I was doing so much better when in NC.

        I’m in the throes of sorting this out. Would you suggest blocking his email regardless?
        If so, I will. I want the headspace back I had three days ago.

        Thank you

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Since the money is important, as explained elsewhere, you can pursue it using other legal avenues so long as clear evidence supports your position and the defendant has the means to pay. Outside of that, the advantages that come with your Total No Contact Regime outweigh what would otherwise be a misguided attempt to effect a recover (i.e. weak evidence, impecunious defendant). Yes, block the email.

          1. MB says:

            Adding “impecunious” to the list of words I’ve learned from HG!

          2. alexine99 says:

            Thank you HG for taking the time to respond to my post. I have documentation and receipts.
            I agree and understand better than ever the value of NC. It’s very easy to start believing one is strong and can handle it. I will never be able to handle him as he’s a mind fuck.
            I’ve filtered his email to immediately delete.

  2. Asp Emp says:

    “What harm could it do to give us one more chance?” – not likely! This horse has bolted, it don’t need no more grooming, fank you very much!

  3. Sweetest Perfection says:

    This excerpt is a perfect demonstration of the narc’s vision contrasted with the empath’s ET trying to ruin NC. I feel identified with the voice that says one more time is not gonna hurt you, if you don’t use it some other will, vs. the narc sending me songs that talk about giving him another chance, not wanting to let me go, or being always around if I choose to contact him again. Fuck the narc and fuck my ET. Now I feel more like Daniel Son in Karate Kid, once he realizes that Mr. Miyagi’s unorthodox methods are finally paying off! Wax on, wax off… narc on, narc off!!! I’ve watched too much Cobra Kai this past week, my apologies…

    1. leelasfuelstinks says:

      Me too but I would rather say: NO MERCY! 😉 😀

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Haha! Strike first. Strike fast!

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          …And Strike hard. I like the idea of strike first, like a cobra.

  4. Eternity says:

    Ha , one more chance not in a million years ! You can’t cry over spilled milk. Damage done .I will never fall for the pity play ever again and hopefully not another Narcissist.

  5. alexine99 says:

    Yes. Perfect timing. The pity play hoover has occurred and thanks to you I knew what to do.
    It appears I’m going to get my money back. I’ll keep you posted….
    Many thanks HG for your words of wisdom. I listened and it’s working.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  6. Angry Bird says:

    The narcs do not think this way. They just say such things. You needed to put a disclaimer for that or explain a little more, their snarky side by going into what actually their mind thinks like. The things said in this blog have pretty much in common with a victim. Layman cannot understand what is said by which kind of person, so it’s better to make it more obvious.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are incorrect. Most narcissists are unaware and therefore this is what they are saying and what they are thinking in their conscious mind. I explain elsewhere what is going on in the unconscious mind. There are two layers, the conscious and the unconscious.

      1. Angry Bird says:

        Yes, that’s what I said that they say those things, they do not think like that. And a reader who is not well aware of the unconscious part of a narc’s mind cannot differentiate between a narc and a victim because they both sound similar in such circumstances.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No, they do think like that in the conscious mind but there is also an unconscious element.

          1. Angry Bird says:

            🤔 I disagree on the emotional front of a narc. They do not think consciously with this much passion and emotions for anyone. They may show and say things like that but either consciously or sub-consciously (not unconsciously) they know how emotionless they are towards anyone. I am having this confusion about only a few lines in the last two-three paragraphs.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            No, most narcissists do not recognise the absence of the emotions because their narcissism blinds them to it. They think they are decent people, even that they are empathic victims.

          3. Angry Bird says:

            Oh.. Thank you for clearing this.. I need to read about it further..

          4. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome and thank you for sharing your observations.

          5. lickemtomorrow says:

            HG, are narcissists not conscious of the fact they need to study other people in order to convey emotion? Surely that’s a hint that they are not experiencing the same emotions as others. Or is their study of other instinctual and therefore they are not factoring in the reason they need to do this? It’s an unbelievable trick of the mind that they should consider themselves decent and even empathic victims.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            It is instinctive, they do not realise they are doing it and of course there are those that do not do it or only do it to a minimal degree.

          7. lickemtomorrow says:

            Thanks, HG. I’d assume the Greater the more aware they are and the more they focus on studying the behaviour of others.

          8. NarcAngel says:

            Would you categorize these lines in the last 2-3 paragraphs Angry Bird is referring to as unconscious manipulations?

          9. HG Tudor says:

            The entire speech contains repeated unconscious manipulations, NA.

        2. MB says:

          Angry Bird, I’ve found many of HG’s writings to be open to interpretation too, which brings you to a deeper level of thought and introspection. I think you are picking up on that in this piece.

          For example ‘Whore’. Readers repeatedly ask from which perspective it is written.

          As all great teachers, he lets you work things out for yourself which you are doing as is evidenced by your comments.

          I feel like this piece is almost written from a perspective of inside the mind of a victim completely taken over by emotional thinking and addiction. These are the kind of circular thoughts that drove me insane when trying to go no contact!

          1. Violetta says:

            HG frequently plays Devil’s Advocate. Whether it’s a Narc trying to wheedle someone into something or a confused Empath trying to reassure herself/himself that something is a good idea even if it’s always been a bad idea in the past, we have to learn to be skeptical.

          2. Angry Bird says:

            Oh.. But the author just said that the thought process only of a narcissist has been described. 🤔

          3. HG Tudor says:

            With regard to this article, yes, but in other instances the article can be read in different directions and is part of the process of conveying different perspectives at the same time. It is also part of the process of causing people to think further about the work to aid their understanding.

          4. Angry Bird says:

            Ooooohh..Thank you for clearing this as well.. 🤔

          5. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome.

  7. December Infinity says:

    The above speech is something I was subject to numerous times from various narcs in the past. I know how this scenario plays out. I fell for the craptacular words of fakery. I was duped into giving chances and it only got worse. Way worse. So so much worse.

    1. MB says:

      DI, “craptacular” I love it! So many possibilities for this term. I hope you won’t mind if I borrow it from time to time!

      1. December Infinity says:

        Of course, craptacular can be used to refer to many things! Borrow away!

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