Distraction – Autumn



As the season turns, the nights draw in and ghosts lurk on the periphery its time to use “Distraction” to your advantage.

Learn more and obtain here

45 thoughts on “Distraction – Autumn

  1. Summer says:

    You all are something else! Interesting, hilarious, practical … Many thanks for your contributions 😊 (btw loved the AAF thread too ive got the 18th n the system now)

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Jolly good.

    2. Truthseeker6157 says:

      Summer that’s great news on the AAF, it feels good when we see the testimonials and know we all played a part.

      I know what you mean, I belly laugh at some of the comments on here. We need a good laugh on wobbly days I think. 😊

  2. lickemtomorrow says:

    I love the image.

    To match it with your eloquent recital is a joy.

  3. Sweetest Perfection says:


  4. Fiddleress says:

    Beautiful. A true gift, in both senses of the word.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you, Fiddleress.

  5. lisk says:

    Wow! How did you know, HG? Oh, that’s right! You’re an Ultra!

    In two days is the 10th anniversary of the day NarcX and I committed to each other (or so I *thought* it was a commitment!).

    I did not exactly memorialize the day or mark it my calendar. The day is not something that I had whirling about my head or heart all this time.

    No, it was a chilled breeze that brought the day back to me early this morning. I could and can smell and feel that Golden Period in the October air.

    Fortunately, sensing the Golden Period in the air is definitely not as painful or as melancholic as it would have been had I not known or understood your work. I have no doubt I will feel–and think–even better once I experience Distraction.

    *It is so strange. I was not even looking for this today. I just came to check and see if there was anything new going on. I’m glad I dropped in!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      A good example of how the season impacts with regard to ever presence and emotional thinking triggers and why this material is such an advantage.

      1. FoolMe1Time says:

        You are our advantage HG.

        1. HG Tudor says:


    2. Truthseeker6157 says:

      Hi Lisk.

      I like to think of this as your brain defending itself. The Autumn day reminded you of the golden period, you responded subconsciously by checking in here. Automatic response and reinforcement of LT. Nicely done Lisk’s brain! 🙂

  6. Summer says:


  7. FoolMe1Time says:

    Thank you very much for this HG. You’re the best! 💞

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome and indeed I am.

  8. Truthseeker6157 says:

    This couldn’t have arrived at a better time. Why? Because this week the leaves began to fall. I hate seeing the leaves falling. It’s a warning that winter is coming. With winter comes Christmas. Christmas has been tough for a number of years and for various reasons.

    I dread leaves falling weeks in advance of it happening. Last weekend I remarked how all the trees still had their leaves. This weekend, leaves lie on the ground. This weekend I can feel the stress rising and with it my ET.

    I would describe my mood from this point on as looking like a heartbeat. I’m not consistently low, but I’m probably net low as opposed to high from now until February. In fairness, I am trying to help myself. The structure of a gym routine helps, and I found a small place I love. I’m also training myself to run. I’ve never run previously. I’m worried the gym will be closed due to Covid. So I’m running as a back up, building up gradually. Today, just under five weeks in, I hit 30 mins unbroken. I felt good. I hit target, ignoring the cramping pain in my calf. Now I’m laid up on the couch. Calf muscle is shot. Not cramp apparently. Concerned I might not be able to train next week. Bollocking arse!

    So, this arrived at just the right time. It staggers me how well you know us. It shouldn’t by now, but it does. An unusual offering on the face of it. Not unusual for one who knows. I’m very thankful for such a well considered offering. I’m sure it will help me and many others like me. Thank you HG for making this so affordable and for releasing it at such a perfect time.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are most welcome. I am pleased that it has proven of use to you.

    2. lickemtomorrow says:

      I like your description of your mood being like a heartbeat, TS. That is very apt as our moods can vary, and the tracing of a heartbeat shows the ups and downs of its progress much like our moods. We don’t always feel in control of them and there can be triggers a plenty depending on so many things, but changing seasons is one of them. This sounds like a very impactful time for you, so I’m glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself and seem to be looking forward. It can be a one day at a time scenario, but having the advantage of being here and accessing HGs material plus the support of others will definitely make it easier. I hope so <3

      1. Truthseeker6157 says:

        Hey LET

        Twice in one day! Ha ha. It is an impactful time. I am worried. I’m doing everything I can to put myself in the best position but part of me isn’t buying in. The Narc and I have birthdays close together. I never missed his.

        I stayed silent through a silent treatment one year. Months went by. I messaged on his birthday. I knew he would check on that day. Ego. I was so damned close to working him out on my own. The way I had started to play it. I just didn’t call it by it’s name. He will check again this year. He can’t resist. If the message was there, he wouldn’t question my departure. All would be as before. That plays on my mind. The date plays on my mind. I already know that day will be a battle, and at a time where I’m traditionally not myself. Don’t know, just not as steady as I have been through Summer. I’ll end up spending the day in here so long as HG isn’t away. I should plan something for that day, day with a friend etc. I know I won’t be able to play me though. Won’t be able to face company. Not sure of the way round it. Guess we’ll see.

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          Twice in one day indeed, TS 🙂 Feast or famine as they say.

          Your situation sounds like a two edged sword in terms of having birthdays close together and with the expectations created around them. My narc and I were not in contact last Christmas after he told me he didn’t want to feel like he was walking on eggshells anymore. Ha! Good one. Anyway, a few days before Christmas he msgd me to wish me Happy Christmas. I’m ashamed to say it was like I could breathe again. As though I had been holding my breath for the few weeks since his departure. I gushed, of course, and he responded a couple of times, but I made sure it was ‘friendly’ as opposed to being ‘please take me back’! Those couple of msgs were it. Heard no more. Had a shitty New Year, but refused to give in to any temptation to msg him for the New Year. ET would have me thinking ‘well, he msgd me for Christmas, maybe I should msg him for the New Year. It seemed like a fair thing to do, rather than expect him to do all the hard work in contacting me (like it was hard work to send a half dozen word msg in the first place!) As HG says, narcs are always conserving energy and expecting us to do the hard work. Live and learn.

          He did eventually contact me a couple of weeks into the New Year when he saw I was making plans without him, but that is by the by. The reality is the temptation will be there and it sounds like you can already feel it. I had to bypass mine’s birthday this year plus the first anniversary of his mother’s death. Both in the same month and only a month since our disengagement. Our disengagement was fraught, so that probably helped me to resist, but there’s no doubt I thought of him. I found myself here between the two dates and it was incredibly helpful. It provided the distraction, the information, the opportunity to vent, the support and ultimately progress.

          From my perspective, what’s most important is that you recognize you are having these feelings and they’re likely to intensify, TS. You are also considering what plans you can put into place. I have to say when you mentioned the months long ongoing silent treatment (and I can’t imagine you did anything to deserve that) I thought ‘you deserve so much better’. And he doesn’t deserve you – your tears, your loyalty, you concern or consideration. It seems the reason you would be doing it is based on your need – the need he has created in you. And from what you said he would expect and accept that with no further need for action on his part. A dollop of fuel for him while your ET skyrockets. Worse still if there is no response or minimal response and you feel your heart being broken all over again. I know that’s how I’d feel.

          You’re doing so well, Truthseeker, in terms of your no contact regime and we’re here to shore you up as you need it. I treated myself here for my birthday and got some of HGs products as a way of looking after myself on the day. Maybe focus on what you would like to do for yourself (as in the suggested meeting with a friend) for your birthday and put his out of your mind. When I thought of mine on his birthday I remember what a shitty birthday he gave me last year. That made it easier! What’s good for the goose is good for the gander 😉 He didn’t deserve one more second of my time and I just had to remind myself of that. And he didn’t try to contact me for my birthday this year. So now we’re even. Feels good. The scales are balanced again. Basically, fuck him! Hope you can say the same x

          1. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Walking on egg shells. That’s a prize winner right there ha ha. I know how you feel at being able to breathe again after the message. I was exactly the same. I’d spent months on autopilot gradually getting lower and lower, fearing I was suffering with depression, and everything lifted with the ping of his message back. I don’t believe depression works like that. ET works like that. It is remarkable how our stories and reactions are so similar. No wonder HG comments on the events that take place with the various IPPS and how similar it all is.

            My birthday will take care of itself as my daughter and I share the same birthday. I’m lucky there, in more ways than one, it’s a special and packed day every year. The narc never wished me Happy Birthday on the day. He knows roughly when it is. He never asked, so I never told. When you look back you realise how strange it all sounds. Games within games within games.

            I realised that between threads and our conversations about different things I sound entirely different. On the one hand, I’m logical, I see opportunity, the bigger picture, the opportunity to make a difference and to make my own life better in the process. New goals, new ideas. On the other I see ET climbing, myself looking back, missing things I can’t have, albeit in a more informed way, fearful that in a few weeks time I’ll fall back and say screw it, I’m tired, and just message. Everything is online, it’s so damn easy to do. You can delete everything but still you remember an email address, a telephone number, a Facebook page. Too easy, too quick.

            Maybe I’ll ask the kids to hide my iPad and phone for the day. Resourceful little critters my kids.

            Never mind, they put them in the washing machine. Pain in the ass being an empath sometimes ha ha.

    3. Bubbles 🍾 says:

      Dearest Truthseeker6157,
      Congratulations on being so proactive lovely, it’s all about planning for oneself…exercise is food for the brain
      Can you try just gentle walking, til you heal ? I luv walking
      A ‘surf lifesaver’ friend of mine told me once, if you can walk in the worst weather, the rest is easy !

      We are right in the middle of spring here, flowers everywhere 🌷🐝

      Christmas for us is summer … we are so upside down here 🙃 Hehe

      I adore all the seasons and what each one has to offer, Mother Nature doing her thing, so this post doesn’t really apply to me (sorry Mr Tudor) haha
      I grab bare tree sticks and paint them for mini Xmas trees to put on tables and fallen leaves make great mulch

      Some find winter gloomy and depressing, however, I use it to my advantage and do inside things like reorganising the pantry so all the labels face the front, colour code Mr Bubbles sock n undie drawer and stitch colours into his socks so they pair up, clean the grouting between each floor tile and refold everything in the linen press like a pro ……..psycho much 🤣

      Best of all, we’ve just put up our Chrissie deccies 🎄Yaaaaaaaay 🤶🏻

      Happy happy happy 😊

      Always think positive gorgeous one 💕
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. Truthseeker6157 says:

        Hello Bubbles !

        I keep forgetting you aren’t in the US. I agree, I do like the change in seasons too in that I love heat but wouldn’t want to be stuck in an eternal summer. I just seem to have picked up a lot of negative associations with Winter and my stress levels go up. Autumn being the precursor sets me off thinking about it. Leaves fall and my mind says ‘It’s coming.’ I recognise the prettiness of it though. Log fires and Christmas lights I love too, the hustle and bustle of the run up to Christmas rather than Christmas itself.

        I have an urge to run into your house and turn some of the labels round in the pantry, ruffle the odd towel ha ha. If I’m really bad, I might write ‘ clean me’ on your window 😳. I see what you mean though keep busy, be productive on dreary days, you’re right. It’s good advice, and with two kids and a crazy dog, there is always something to do!

        I did walk, a day later after the night laid up on the couch. I don’t believe in stopping, things go worse if you stop. I hobbled round the gym this week and stuck to arms and abs. Yesterday I strapped up my leg and ran 20 mins to test. I could feel it but I was ok. So I’m back at it next week and weight training to correct the fault. All or nothing is my motto! Have at it!

        Laughed out loud that your Christmas deccies are up already. No doubt the power grid is buckling under the pressure of all your lights ha ha.
        Santa will definitely stop there !

        Thinking positive.

        Truthseeker x

        1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dearest truthseeker6157,
          You can ‘ruffle my towels’, turn my jars, tins n bottles upside down, write ‘clean me’ on my already clean windows……..I would not give one iota…. haha
          Our house is a ‘home’ not a museum (otherwise I’d charge an entrance fee 😂) Oops shouldna said that, Mr Tudor might charge people coming into his house 🤣
          It’s a way of refocusing, redirecting your emotional thinking , especially when I just get off the phone to mum and she’s been narcoffing again (I usually ‘bash’ Mr Bubble’s ear)

          Knowing your triggers, when they happen (dates, times of the year, being in a certain shop, place, venue, around certain people etc) it’s vital to have have a plan of action
          Making a list may be helpful
          Christmas Day is just our family, we elimated everyone else as it didn’t suit us
          We celebrate with friends beginning Dec, my mother a week before and I pre shop everything and freeze, except fruit n veg ……it’s a plan that runs as smooth as clockwork and relieves all the stress, so as we can chill with a lovely French bubbly
          Most people say ‘ oh bugga, it’s raining outside ‘ ☹️
          I say ‘ ohh wow, it’s raining, how wonderful, the garden gets a water and I can do inside stuff, eg clean the oven or the toot 🤣 ( I’ve just revamped a Xmas wreath for my son) OR I can catch up on ‘narcsite’ 😉 Hehe

          With regard to our power, we have LED lighting thru out and solar lights for the garden, we are just about to have solar panels installed (I also luv my candles)
          We’re very conservative with our power usage and turn lights off, same with our garbage, we have 3 bins, one for waste, recycling and green (do you have the same)

          To find oneself, Mother Nature plays a huuuuuge role (away from people) and it needs to be a regular thing
          You’ve got this Truthseeker and you’re little darlings will luv it, they see positive everywhere, turn off the iPad and go outside and explore with them
          Let me know when the Magic happens 🎩🐰
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Bubbles, thank you for this.

            I think the list might be good for me. I’m generally not a list person, I keep things all in my head. When ET rises though, and the clouds come in, a list might help. It’ll help if I commit now to following the instructions on the list. Structure does help me so the gym routine is training that too.

            In answer to your recycling question, yes we do. We recycle to within an inch of our lives in my county ha ha. Gives the kids plenty of chores to do!

            I do love being surrounded by trees and nature. Just me. I’m very lucky that where I live, that’s easy to do. I think I’ll add in some audio packages on the list too. My favourite ones, the ones that calm me down.

            I’m a people person. Love talking to people, listening to their tales. For some reason when I struggle with mood I withdraw from them though. I can’t face them because I know I’m not being me. So, I should accept that’s the way I will react and work with it. Make my list now, follow it later when My ET goes up. It’s a good suggestion Bubbles. I’ll try it.

            I like your approach to Christmas too. I need to think about that. Your approach tells me that it’s ok to do what is best just for me and my kids. Trying to please everyone spreads me too thin and it’s often a thankless task.

            I can see you venting to Mr Bubbles after coming off the phone to your mum ha ha. He’s a good man.

            I know you have worries about your daughter and her ensnarement. Christmas might not be the easiest for you either. You know what to do. Make sure Mr Bubbles does too, ahead of time, then you are both ok.

            I will let you know when the magic happens, yes, I will.

            Thank you Bubbles xx

          2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest Turhseeker6157,
            Thank you lovely so much for your reply
            On the post ‘fear’, I mentioned I stood up for myself from a telephone scammer, in front of my mum at her house ….she couldn’t believe it (normally I would just hang up) my narc side took over and I wanted him to know I knew what he was doing (pretending to represent our biggest phone provider here) and hack into a computer …… it felt reeeaaal good haha (Mr Bubbles was right chuffed for me)

            It’s all about stepping out of your comfort zone, assertion, awareness, thought processing, retraining your brain, emotional thinking, observing behaviour, listening to words, when to interact/react or not, correcting (eg I repeat something someone says to me to see how they react to their stupidity or ridiculousness or them trying to use gaslighting or word salad) ….most times theyre in shock cos I heard what they said

            I have learnt to say ‘no’ and I won’t fix, meddle or interfere anymore and I keep fairly busy ( I’ve always been an ‘organiser’, some would say bossy 🤣….. but hey, I had three kids ) even though I’m a softie at heart

            One of the hardest, to stop justifying myself !
            PLUS the most important of all
            Luv yourself first ……. always (then you wont take crap from people)
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

            Ps Our youngest came to two birthday dinner celebrations with presents 😍

          3. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Ahhh Bubbles, your Ps! I’m so glad! That’s her mum in her right there x
            She will always revert back to herself in the end. As a parent myself to 2 young children I will find it incredibly hard to allow them to make mistakes. I am wired to protect. In your situation it must be excruciating but, telling her who she is with too often will drive a wedge and you can’t have that. From what I’ve read, you are handling it exactly right. Your daughter coming to two birthday dinners is incredibly hopeful. She’s still in there, she’s just battling right now.

            This is good news. I’m really happy for you Bubbles. Xx

          4. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest Truthseeker6157,
            Thank you for your lovely words TS
            Sorry precious, I did reply to your comment a while back, mentioning our ‘youngest’ is our ‘son’, it’s all been a bit higgledy-piggledy with Mr Tudor being away for extended periods and trying to catch up ……I’m all over the place, but that’s ‘par for course’ with me 😂

            We have always been a very ‘close knit’ family, so this whole fiasco has been devastating to him
            We have steadfastly concentrated on the occurred ‘behaviour and actions’ of the narc and not attack the narc individually as a person

            Our son has resorted to ‘one on one’ tactics now and very much in agony that we’re not part of HIS life eg seeing where he lives and coming over for dinner etc and recently visited his ‘brother and partner’ for indepth discussions on the matter (there’s still mumbling about an engagement/marriage in the air)

            He knows the whole family is not about to budge with our decision regarding the narc’s disgusting and outrageous behaviour, however, he continues to live in hope
            Knowing what I know now has helped tremendously (thank you Mr Tudor)
            Boundaries have been cemented in place and no one gets to cross them, ever!

            As much as we try to protect our kids from mistakes Truthseeker, life is about learning from mistakes
            Sadly, our empath son is learning the hard way, his heart is still ruling his head 🤕
            An empaths motto should be…… “always let your head rule your heart” ❤️
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          5. Truthseeker6157 says:


            I did miss your reply. Google likes to mess with my email from time to time and it knocks out all of my subscriptions when I reset. Still can’t see my comments in moderation after its’ last bout of mischief.

            I didn’t know your youngest was a boy. I have one of each, the girlchild is younger and oddly I don’t seem to worry about her in the same way. She’s resourceful, a fighter, will always land on her feet and is showing all the signs of being an empath. Her nature is still in flux so that remains to be seen. The boychild is a typical boy, very close to me, always proud of his mum even when his friends are around. Still gives the trademark bear hug, which is ballsy at that age I think. (14). I’m more protective of the boychild, there’s a vulnerability there I can’t quite put my finger on.

            It is tough to allow them to make mistakes, it will be tougher as they get older and they get their hearts broken. My Saviour element fires pretty readily, I’ll need to watch myself there, and yes, force my head to rule my heart whilst smothering my ET with both hands!

            You do right. Boundaries must be kept in place. The narc would rip through the whole family otherwise and your son would only defend him. This way you aren’t the enemy, and, you’ll be there to haul him back on to his feet when the time comes. You’ll get to play your part Bubbles, just not yet. Xx

          6. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest Truthseeker6157,
            Many thanks for your reply lovely
            Your kids sound wonderful and they obviously have a terrific caring loving mum

            Sorry TS I can’t remember if you are you a single mum or not ? If you are, then your son will be the man of the house and protective instincts will kick in from now
            I must admit, I haven’t heard the terms girlchild and boychild used before ( I obviously live under a rock) haha
            It’s interesting you’re more protective of your son and not so much your daughter, she’s sounds quite independent….good for her (often happens if they are the first born) our boys still hug us and they’re over 6′ men

            That high school age certainly becomes more challenging
            I dare say some form of ”bullying’ may be an issue (our first two were bullied, however, our youngest got off fairly unscathed ) Then there’s the 16-18 yr challenge (in Australia alcohol is legal at 18 years) they’re just finishing high school and so starts formals, schoolies week and such, the gap year then uni
            Basically, when the sexual antennas go up, the real fun begins
            They do things behind your back regardless, but at least, if information on sex drugs n alcohol are drummed into them, they go forth knowledgeable (our daughter had her drink spiked once, she was sick as) very worrying indeed

            It’s certainly a different world out there today, kids and young adults are way more savvy and street wise than I ever was at the same age

            We give them the tools and guidance and just hope for the best
            I know one thing for sure…..have plenty of pillows for them for soft landings haha
            (I remember when our kids had breakups, they would hibernate in their room for weeks and just wanted to be left alone. I know they were there, cos of the empty dishes and piles of washing haha ….. when they were ready, they came out to talk )
            Whatever happens to our youngest, he knows his family is there for him ……always !

            You will be sensational TS with your little treasures, you have a heart of gold and your motherly instincts will always kick in 💕
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          7. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Haha Bubbles,

            I forget that people other than me don’t say boychild / girlchild. It’s playful really, when they were little I’d sometimes call them Noisy and Messy. They behaved very much like twins, less so now. Two so close in age, so physical and boisterous with each other could cause utter chaos through the house. This graduated to boychild and girlchild when I talk to friends, it came about because a friend of mine used to comically refer to her teens as ‘ the spawn’. Terrible really, but she worships her kids and made me laugh with it.

            The inevitable first loves and first break ups, raging hormones, drama and rooms that smell of too much aftershave / perfume! Can’t wait Ha ha! Please God don’t let it happen at the same time!

            You’re right, it is a different world for them today with phones and iPads. I just put my foot down with the girlchild yesterday over that. Too much girl drama and it continues all through the evening. If she isn’t defending herself she’s upset about what’s being said to her friends and defending them. It’s draining and she’s exhausted with it. They have different stressors than we did, but thankfully no bullying as yet.

            In answer to your question, their dad is still very much involved, so in this respect I am not unsupported. We separated several years ago – things got pretty bad between us- but he has remained an integral part of our lives.

            Thank you for your kind words of encouragement Bubbles, I do love them to pieces and will do my very best x

          8. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest Truthseeke6157,
            Thank you most kindly for your response and explanations lovely one
            You’re never too young light a candle, put on some soothing music and incorporate some relaxing “zen” moments with lots of “ummmmms”
            Good mother n daughter bonding and gets everyone off electronic devices 🙏🏻
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      2. blackcoffee30 says:

        Wow, I’m jealous! Just once, I’d love to celebrate my birthday in the summer!

        1. Fiddleress says:

          Aww, no need to be jealous, blackcoffee. I celebrate (or not so much) my birthday in the summer every year, and quite frankly, it sucks: everyone’s away on holiday, and you can’t have a decent party!

      3. Bubbles 🍾 says:

        Sorry *Truthseeker …… how did that even pass thru ?

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:

          Bubbles, I’ve been called far worse in my time 😂

          1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Everything always looks tickety boo …….til I press send 😂

    4. NarcAngel says:


      We could all take a lesson from the tree and falling leaves:

      “Leaves fall off trees so that the trees can survive the winter.

      But the word “fall” is a bit misleading. It implies that the trees are passive this time of year, when, in fact, they are actively “pushing” the leaves off their branches.

      The changes in weather and daylight trigger a hormone that releases a chemical message to each leaf that it is time to prepare for winter. Over the next few weeks, abscission cells form a bumpy line at the place where the leaf stem meets the branch. And slowly, but surely, the leaf is “pushed” from the tree branch.

      This winterization process is a must for trees’ survival. In spring and summer, leaves convert sunlight into energy in a process we all know as photosynthesis. During that process, the trees lose a lot of water – so much water that when winter arrives, the trees are no longer able to get enough water to replace it.

      And so now we know. Leaves fall—or are pushed—off trees so that the tree can survive the winter and grow new leaves in the spring.” (From the internet).

      Shedding is necessary for not only new growth but survival in us as well. The falling leaves are a reminder to us to prepare for winter, which is not a period of death but rather focus on renewal. To sit longer with a book to enrich our minds, to make hearty soups to nourish our bodies, to attempt yoga indoors rather than to run outside, to sit and listen to music while we wonder at the beauty of a snowfall and remember how we enjoyed it as a kid. Those are things we need. We must “push” the things from us that do not sustain us and threaten to rob us of our restorative needs.

      Christmas as we now know it is a narc. It’s jealousy diverts your attention away from the beauty and renewal of the entire fall and winter seasons and has you focused on it’s promises and illusions of having one perfect golden day. We only have so many days. Why sacrifice so many for the promise of one that seldom delivers as advertised?

      Christmas is but one day and only has the importance we give it. Give it only enough to sustain the traditions you enjoy and let the leaves and the snow remind us that we have MANY days in which to renew and prepare for the beauty and new life of Spring and Summer that always deliver.

      1. Truthseeker6157 says:


        Thank you. Christmas is a narc. Definitely. Something so many of us try so hard to make perfect, and the whole thing gets spoiled on the day. Whether it’s by greed, materialism, unrealistic expectations or sheer malice. I had great Christmases as a kid, but never seemed to be able to pull that off in the same way for my own family. Something or someone always working against me. Never buying in to the magic I tried to create. Destroying it instead.

        I’m similar on occasion days and for the same reason. Ironically on my own birthday, I couldn’t care less If people forget to buy a gift or send a card. Genuinely doesn’t bother me. Sharing my birthday with my daughter, I still turn all focus on her. She doesn’t let me get away with that though. Insists on us sharing the day, the cake, the special outing somewhere. I’m sagely reminded by my mini empath that it is my day too. Man she’s bossy!

        It is time to shed and refocus. You’re right.

      2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

        Dearest NarcAngel,
        That was absolutely sensational
        Thank you 💕
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Hello Bubbles

          Thank you. I see that we have a shared love of organized cupboards haha. No decorations here yet, but I will admit to actually looking at a six foot cone of white twinkling delight for the front porch just yesterday.

          Don’t even HG. A tree. I looked at a tree!

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Oh, how disappointing, just when it was getting interesting.

          2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest NarcAngel,
            You should see my new improved organised pantry and linen press……….orgasmic ! 😂
            Seriously NarcAngel, I had to look up a white 6′ cone.. you naughty girl you
            Mines 225cm 😂

            2020 ….anything goes it seems ! 😂
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  9. MB says:

    Thank you for this HG. You knew exactly what I needed!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed. Distraction is a key component in the battle against Emotional Thinking and who better than the master himself to distract you.

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