The Ten Initial Desires of the Narcissist



I am red of tooth and claw. I seduce, I hurt, I cast to one side and like some malevolent Pied Piper, I play my tunes once again and draw you into my fabricated world. I operate a zero sum policy. I want what you have. If I gain it, I win. I love to win. I must always win. The winner is the conqueror, the strongest and the survivor. This is what I have been taught. That is the reality of my existence. Yet when you have been selected as our targets and the seduction has commenced, we have certain desires that we want to be true. There are initial desires that exist so that we do not have to go down the road so often travelled. We may have ensnared you but might we remain protector rather than persecutor?

We have these wants at the outset of our coupling with you. These are genuine, well-intentioned and considerable in nature. We are imbued with hope, optimism and confidence, every time a new prospect has been embraced by us. We want these things so that the teeth are never bared and the claws remain lowered.

  1. You are the one

I chose you because you are so special. I truly believe that you are the one, this time, to change everything that has happened before. You are the one who will save us, you have been selected beyond everybody else because you are the one. That is why we have such an infatuation with you at the outset of our relationship.

  1. You will not betray us.

The world is a cruel and harsh place and we know better than most how that is the case. We are surrounded by those who would strike us down and grind us into the nothingness which we fear. Those assassins lurk and wait, seeking their moment and we must ensure we remain vigilant so we do not fall prey to them. Traitors and betrayers mill about us, but we are wise to them. We know their game and we have them in our eye. We do not want you to be one of them.

  1. You won’t be like the others

We thought they would be the ones that we desired but they disappointed and dismayed and they left us no choice other than to punish them for their lack of loyalty and their false promises. We had to do so, otherwise a failure to act would only compound the perception of our weakness and we must at all times project to the world our image of success and magnificence. We hope you will not be like them so we need not maintain such a façade and we hope you will prove your worth so that you will not be like the others and let us down.

  1. You will stop the emptiness

Each and every day we must seek to fill the void that lurks within. It is part of what we are and we accept that this is the task which must be addressed because so much rests on being able to perform this important act. It is the reason for our existence but perhaps you can stop that sense of emptiness for us. Perhaps you can take away that void and provide us with the substance that we crave.

  1. You quell the fury

It is always there, churning away, waiting to be unleashed and directed at some transgressor, critic or traitor. I have learned to control it, many of my kind cannot do so and will never do so, it is a mark of my excellence and my superiority. I make it work for me, to advance my plans and to smite my foes. I have no choice for it is always there, waiting to be ignited in an instant. I can control it but I cannot quell it. Can you be the one to do this for me?

  1. You won’t get too close

Perhaps if you avoid getting too close to us you will not then let us down like the others before you have. We hope that you can provide us with all the things that we desire without the need to invade our inner sanctum which must remain locked and shuttered. Do not attempt to enter there for the consequences are too dreadful, for us both. Do not get too close and perhaps we have a chance to achieve the other desires that we wish for.

  1. You really do love us

They all seem to do so at the beginning but then we find ourselves surrounded by charlatans, con-merchants and frauds. Why does this always happen? All we want is for you to love us, unconditionally and eternally. That is what we only ever wanted.

  1. You will not wound us

No matter how grand and imperial we are, no matter how magnificent our achievements and our deportment that signals to the world that we are truly brilliant, a leader in our field, a behemoth and a colossus, we can be wounded with such despicable ease by those who send criticism our way. It hurts, it burns and it wounds and we must defend ourselves against such unwarranted and disgusting behaviour. Perhaps you will be the one who will not wound us in this way.

  1. You will not leave

Don’t leave us. The others have always done so. We do not understand why that is after everything that we have done, all the things we endeavoured to do to please them and then this is what happens. The others leave us twice. They come with such promise and deliver for a time but then they do so no longer and through such an omission they leave us. We want that person to return but struggle to contain the fury which is unleashed from this horrible criticism of us and then you sever all possibility of a return when you walk away from us. Do you know who you are when you do that?

  1. You won’t make us leave you.

Please do not do the things which force us away from you. The others all headed down that path. It causes us to consider that we are cursed, forever burdened by the fate that we will have no choice other than to leave you in order to secure our survival. Perhaps you can be the one who prevents that feeling from happening?

Each and every time these ten desires loom large when we commence our engagement with you. Some show such promise and for such a time and then one by one these desires are crushed, shattered and obliterated. We know only one way to respond to the destruction of our desires because we are red of tooth and claw.

11 thoughts on “The Ten Initial Desires of the Narcissist

  1. leelasfuelstinks says:

    Oh yes, the one: the impossibly perfect unicorn (which does not exist of course), the perpetuum mobile, the perfectly compliant doormat.

    The rest depends on school and cadre. The perfectly looking hot and sexy gym bunny/stud, who is always perfectly groomed/styled, compliant and always admires the looks and the bed-skills of Mr. or Mrs. somatic N.Arc. 😉

    Or the smart, but not too smart, not too good looking little doormat who admires the knowledge and mental skills of Mr. or Mrs. cerebral N.Arc. 😉

    The ideal perfect mish-mash of those for Mr. or Mrs. elite N.Arc. 😉

    The always loving, caring, mothering perpetuum mobile doormat for Mr. or Mrs. victim N.Arc. 😉

    And as nobodies perfect and all those “the ones” are only human: We know what´s gonna happen, don´t we? 😉

  2. December Infinity says:

    Of course these points are in the mind of the narcissist so as to keep control of his/her environment.

  3. Asp Emp says:

    LOL, I re-read what you said, HG, in your response to my comment in July on this article. I’d call the fire brigade – that’s what! Interesting that my ET levels have dropped so low by now, I didn’t think they ever would back then. I now feel a different type of ‘fire’ that water would not be the answer.
    Re-reading this article this time round, I am thinking about it differently, with a really excellent level of LT, I understand more, I am no longer in a confused state as a result of past interactions with narcissists. A narcissist is human, just like everyone else, they just see things differently – some have feelings, some don’t.

    A narcissist is like Marmite, either you hate it or you love it.

    I’d thought some more on narcissists – especially since reading about ‘creature’ (sniggering, about how I also described it recently – little bugger, etc – yet it’s no laughing matter in real terms) – I’d remembered doing an Emotional Intelligence test at the start of my learning (when “meeting” KTN) – and I was not surprised it was a mediocre result. Is it because of my ET levels at the time? Is it because I think in a different way to normals and possibly other empaths, and narcissists? I also did the Intelligence Quotient (IQ) test (it was lengthy and boring as fk). However, my point is, does the Emotional Intelligence reflect on the school of narcissist? It is completely different to the IQ test. Or, is it a combination of the two?

    I also considered about if someone’s brain is ‘wired’ differently (like mine, but I am not a narcissist – no denial there, at all), would it make that person’s way of thinking enhanced in some way? Just like someone who was born blind, their hearing would be ‘heightened’. I may talking bollocks and it may be boring for some. So, laters then 🙂

    1. FoolMe1Time says:

      Marmite, 🤢 so true about loving it or hating it AE! 💞

      1. Asp Emp says:

        At least with Marmite, you can chuck it in the refuse and recycle the jar 😉

        1. FoolMe1Time says:

          Oh don’t chuck it in the refuse AE! Marmite is hard to come by in the states now, a single jar was selling for $80 online! It just keeps going up and up! There are some in my family that think they can’t live without the stuff. Yuk, yuk, and double yuk! 🤮

          1. Asp Emp says:

            I’ll buy it by the barrow load and flog it all then! I do like Marmite actually, on buttered toast. 🙂

          2. lickemtomorrow says:

            Ha, Tom Hanks decided to spread a nice thick amount of Vegemite on his toast when quarantined for Covid-19 in Oz. He was trying to encourage Aussies at the start of the pandemic and thought this was one way to identify with them 😛

            I’m sure his first bite was a shock. Even Aussies only ever spread the stuff thinly 😉


          3. FoolMe1Time says:

            Oh let! That actually looks worse then marmite! 🤢🤮
            It was funny though. Haha 💞

          4. Asp Emp says:

            LOLOL. No, I am not keen on Vegmite. Marmite wins, hands down!

          5. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest lickemtomorrow,
            We were brought up on this song, I have a rose in every cheek 😂
            And yes, I luv my Vegemite, lots of butter and a thin uneven spread, great on rice cakes
            Plain or toasted cheese n Vegemite sandwiches were our staple go to, still is, otherwise known as tiger toast for kids, good for school lunches
            When we were in Hawaii, I noticed the bread, bubbles n wine were very sweet compared to ours
            I think Aussie palates are quite savoury…. hence the Vegemite, salty, slightly bitter, almost umami flavour
            It can also be used as a stock cube flavouring
            To me, marmite is sweet
            We always have a large jar or two of Vegemite in the pantry
            I’ve read narcissists have bitter taste preferences …..haha
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article

Sitting Target

Next article

No Contact Suicide – Part One