I want to own you.

I want to draw you into my world. A world where my rules are the only rules that matter. When I first set eyes on you I make it my business to ascertain your suitability for ownership. You might only be owned in the sense of being a tertiary source which I interact with the once, but in that moment, I own you and I own the fuel that flows from you.

I wish to brand you as my property. My appliance. My plaything. I own you and this means that nobody else does. I have exclusive rights.

I may designate you the role of secondary source, should you make the grade and you become mine, subject to the unwritten contract that governs you and I. You are to be loyal, obedient, compliant and a provider of fuel.

If you are to be my primary source, that coveted position of supplier-in-chief of the most precious and desired fuel then you also must be owned. You must be subjected to my total and hegemonic control. Once I decide that you are the one, I will not stop. Once that light has turned green, once the first tantalising drops of your fuel have begun to be sucked up by me, there is no hope for anything else.

You must be mine. I must own you.

You at think that I look on you with love-lorn eyes. Indeed I do as I turn my precious orbs into the mirrors which give you what you want to see. Behind their silvery gaze, my machined machinations are forming. I am absorbing how you smile, how your wrinkle your nose, how you play with your hair on the left hand side of your head, never the right. I listen to the way you say ‘scone’ – do you say it so it rhyme with tone or with gone? Every word that will come from your mouth will belong to me. I want to know everything about you. Every facet of your life must now belong to me. When my hand touches you and you feel that jolt of electricity between you, that is my connection with you as I begin to download your life.

It is true that I have already screened you, probed you life from a distance, made enquiries and observed before launching my take-over bid. I have done my homework but now I want to dominate, conquer and subsume. I must envelop you in my world for then I can be sure that you will respond as I require. Loyal, reliable and functional.

Steadily I drain your identity from you, consuming it for my own use. This is part of the process of owning you. I know no boundaries, I see no limits, I recognise no restraint. I have decided that you are to belong to me and thus this is what must happen with the steady and incremental accumulation of what you are. I am plugged into you, the ultimate parasite which sucks the life from you. Your money becomes my money, your house becomes my house, your friends become my appliances. There is no real me. There is no substance and thus I must steal what you are in order to give the appearance of substance.

The only way I understand to do this is to own you. Make you part of the fabricated world that I have woven. This dazzling fiction fools so readily and as I part the curtain and beckon you in to my wonder land, you accept and once inside you become mine. The real world is left behind. The real world of rules, standards, procedures and fairness is no longer applicable to you. I own you now and as a consequence you are subject to my capricious nature, the arbitrary application of my diktats and pronouncements. None of it will make any sense to you when you start to realise what it happening but it will be too late by then. You assimilation into me will be so far gone that you may just well scream and the only voice you will hear will be mine.

My ownership means I tell you who to speak to and who to ignore. My ownership means that dress is wrong and that one is right until it is the other way around. Yesterday is tomorrow which becomes today. You think Josef K endured the Kafkaesque nightmare of nothing making sense? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I must control everything. My space, time and the environment around you. This is why to you I seem to operate as if I have no concept of time, but that is because I do not operate to Greenwich Mean Time but rather Being Mean Time. I compartmentalise, shifting between worlds which must never connect, where the players and actors inside of them move to my direction. They dance to the tune that my invisible pipe plays. I must not leave anything to chance. I do not like chance. It is the ruin of me. I want predictable and eventually you will come to realise that there are few who are as predictable as my kind. We bring excitement, we bring chaos, we bring drama but it is all so predictable. The same manipulations, just variations on a theme. Some of us have more string to our dark cupid’s bow, but the poisoned arrows we fire all have the same effects. Control and fuel.

It is only by ensuring that we own you that we can be assured and convinced that you will do as we want you to, that you will not be disloyal or a traitor to us. We must plug you in to us and like some giant leech suck the very essence from you, taking your fuel, your confidence, your self-worth, your self-esteem and stripping you of them to ensure there is compliance and obedience.

I want to own so that I know I will win. I want to own you so I can exist.

I want to own you so that everything you do is as consequence of my decisions and my actions which ensure you provide me with my lifeblood whenever I demand it. You are on call and on demand, my primary source of salvation, the reason for my existence and I dare not allow the slightest chink of autonomy for fear of losing that control.

I want to own you to underline my superiority. I want to own you to remind myself that I am powerful. I want to own you so that it is repeatedly highlighted that I am the controller.

I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am.

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25 thoughts on “Own

  1. lickemtomorrow says:

    As a co-dependent I’m in the unenvious position of wanting to be owned.

    This has become especially apparent after an initial hoover from the narc.

    I thought I was safe. Now I feel vulnerable again.

    1. A Victor says:

      LET, I am a standard empath with a very strong super element and I actually told the narc at one point how nice it would be to let him be in charge of everything. Lol. Wow, did I not know anything. But, after being a mom for 33 years, my youngest turned 18 last month so I’m officially retired from raising kids, I am so ready to not be in charge of anything. Anyway, all that to say I get it. And I don’t think it’s only a co-dependent thing, maybe an empath thing though.

      1. lickemtomorrow says:

        Thanks, AV <3 It is definitely nice at times to be free of responsibilities and let someone else take charge. I appreciate your thoughts around that and it's definitely not just a co-dependent thing. We can all get caught, especially under the influence and manipulations of the narcissist. They want to take charge and we let them due to various manipulations. And our own vulnerabilities.

        So I am aware of my vulnerability. It's inherent in me in some ways to want this. I wish it wasn't so, but the narcissist is my drug of choice and right now I'm trying to beat that addiction. Someone put a line of cocaine (so to speak) in my line of sight in the last 48 hours and I now have to deal with that. Am I going to snort it? It's not what I want to do and so far am resisting the temptation. I know I'd get a 'hit', but it won't last. That's what I also know. It's an internal battle, but one I'm finding easier to fight after coming here. In that sense the narc has nothing to do with it. It's all down to me.

        Appreciate your encouraging words, AV. It's something we all go through x

        1. A Victor says:

          Wow, very powerful words. Thank you! I haven’t had any hoover attempts, that I’m aware of, yet, but now I understand more what it can feel like. Ugh. I wish you the best and I think this is a good place to be with it.

          1. lickemtomorrow says:

            Thank you, AV. It’s the first hoover attempt 6 months after disengagement. This is a good place to be with it x

    2. Alexissmith2016 says:

      No lickem you’ve totally got this. You can find someone loving who cares deeply for you without being owned. We all crave more when we get those hoovers but it goes away eventually xxx why would you want to go back to his crazy making. You have the power lickem, you own it xx

      1. lickemtomorrow says:

        Thank you, Alexis xx

        I do not want to go back to his crazy making and being here makes me realize that’s what it is. I’ve been entangled before and escaped. Why would I want to undo all that good work? I don’t.

        I do want to cry that the craving still exists … and he can still get to me. Even if it’s just to hate on him 😛 But that was not the first thing I felt. My default setting is hope, even though I know it’s hopeless. So I’ve directed my thoughts to all the shitty things he did in the ‘hope’ of that being the cure. And so far it’s working.

        I also have to move the record needle off ‘Unlove You’ by Jennifer Nettles.


  2. Asp Emp says:

    A Victor’s comment is what I would have more or less said.

  3. Sweetest Perfection says:

    This is funny because before escaping I told my narc “I am nobody’s property.” I guess he thought “yes you are.” In. His. Dreams.

    1. Eternity says:

      Exactly SP just terrible . They can Keep on Dreaming. But in the mind of the Narcissist we are “The Object of their desire ” .

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        I don’t think Brad Pitt cares to know that in my mind, I own him. If I can keep dreaming, so can my narc, but I don’t care.

        1. Eternity says:

          SP Ha ha ,hey why not. I also have my own fantasies I will them to myself for now.

    2. BC30 says:

      I’m pretty sure I’m completely forgotten. So fucking gross they think people can be “owned” like chattel.

      1. Another Cat says:

        Exactly BC
        While we empaths don’t even feel that chattel ownership about cars and toasters, they see humans as even lower.

    3. Summer says:

      My husband used my Moral Compass against me from day 1. He very slowly enunciated very dramatically that he ‘owns me’ that i was ‘his property to use as he saw fit including my body’. Before i left i was naked on the floor with him standing over me & i quietly said “do your worst & see what happens. Now let me get to the bathroom or ill throw up on your feet” he let me get to the bathroom but when i came out he had emptied the house of every shred of cloth i could cover with, including all the furniture cushions & locked them n the bedroom with him. I was just glad to b away from him for the night. I think its good to occasionally remember a few specifics briefly to maintain perspective when pressured to go back. (I dont remember much tho) Head up & Hugs to u! goodnight 💤

  4. Kristin says:

    I love the new Ultra YouTube channel! I just listened to Own and the other videos recently added. I have read the corresponding articles a number of times but listening to them allows me to gain more of an understanding. It also allows me to multi task as I am able to listen while I work. This is so very helpful to me because I struggle to stay focused throughout the day.
    The Narc Bomb video, once again, explained the behavior of the narc throughout the years and reinforced my comprehension. I feel as though I have another notch on my “defense belt!” Knowing why he begins arguments, etc. before I leave for example has equipped to handle the manipulations without raising my ET.
    HG, I have mentioned to you previously that I am so grateful that I found you first. Your knowledge is the standard by which I measure other sites and articles regarding narcissism. Thank you as always.

  5. A Victor says:

    “The only way I understand to do this is to own you.”
    ” I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am.”

    These two lines are the most heartbreaking to me.

    I keep wondering why there can’t be the usual dating, okay so we’re not meant for each other, move on. I guess this answers that question.

    1. Cup Cakes says:

      I was definitely a fool for years being my ex slave.

      1. A Victor says:

        Oh no, you’re not a fool! THEY do this, from everything I’m learning. They are the ones who can’t part ways kindly, gently, and move on, not us. I mean, if the narc I was involved with would’ve been honest, which he can’t be, and said, “So, I guess we should just be friends.” or something similar, with no drama and no hoovers, I would’ve been sad, discussed it with him perhaps, and let it go. I think. Lol, I mean, I never dated anyone that I didn’t marry more than three dates. And that was 35 years ago so I’ve probably changed…

        Bottom line, we are led along, we are not fools.

        1. Cup Cakes says:

          Appreciate your kind words.My ex would deny any wrong doing etc.
          Constant lying,blame shifting others,and fake crying for attention.Just pathetic being with somebody on this nature.

          1. A Victor says:

            My ex shot drugs into his veins for years before I found out what was happening, often in the house when everyone was at home. I’d blamed the irratic behavior on his illness, MS, for all that time. We love who we love, we can’t fault ourselves for that. But I will try to make a better choice if I do it again. That’s why I’m here, to learn how. I fear it’s a long journey but at least I’m on the right path now, as are you! 🙂

  6. Eternity says:

    Interesting article. I would always think of owning my own business one day ,but not people. I cant believe the Narcissist actually thinks this way and we Empath’s fall for it. I wish I was in the normal bracket I wouldnt have been with Narcissist for so long. You learn things everyday.

    1. Summer says:

      Thanks for sharing Eternity😊 ive caught myself thinking that more than once but our empathic nature, once trained with skill, can b a powerful force for good. The pain I experienced was exacerbated a great deal by my lack of education & training regarding Narcissism, ET & LT. Now that im gaining skill at handling myself im glad for my empathic traits. Hugs to u 🤗

      1. Eternity says:

        Hi Summer,
        I like sharing my feelings here on the blog . So sorry you have experienced pain same goes for me. But we are all here to express it, since we are at the right place. We cant change who we are as Empaths, but we can certainly change the future.
        Hugs back xoxo

  7. Stephanie Powers says:

    Damn, that was powerful.

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