The Narcissist´s Use of Food
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Interesting HG.
Bread formed a constant theme, from beginning to end, in my entanglement.
My ex had hang ups about eating, he often wouldn’t eat the dinners I made, he just wasn’t hungry he’d say, it was hurtful and discouraging. He only criticized my weight once, it didn’t fluctuate but this time I had a tiny belly sticking out under my belt so I asked him if the belt was making me look fat, he looked and said, yes, it is. I was crushed, not at the honesty but at the cold way he’d said it. Turned out I was newly pregnant with our son, the reason for the belly.
This is so interesting, and now in retrospect I realize that I have experienced two additional way in which the narcissist used food to manipulate and get control. The first is when he would seemingly enjoy eating something with me, usually a sweet of some sort – ice cream or pastries – that I provided, and then afterwards, he would immediately start saying how he shouldn’t have eaten those things and how awful and unhealthy those things were and how he shouldn’t have just done that – so I was the bad guy for providing them, and he was flipping what seemed like an enjoyable experience into a crime, and then I would start trying to make him feel better. The second was was almost the reverse on the surface – the narcissist would be hungry, but he wouldn’t eat and would complain about the effect of this: the headaches, the starved-out stomach, the feelings of weakness and nausea. Often he would complain about being too tired after a physically taxing day at work to fix something (we did not live together) and this would be an additional thread that would get woven into the whole situation – the poor, tired hard working guy was too beat to fix something to eat and felt so sick because he wasn’t eating. This would obviously be a pity play that easily got me too feel so bad for him and try to help by making suggestions and he would get a ton off attention rather than getting off his arse and putting on a pot of boiling water for some pasta or eating a banana or some bread with almond butter… Very interesting, HG; thank god (and thanks to you) I am not feeding him fuel anymore.
You are welcome, JP.
I’m surprised this didn’t happen to me because I eat like a man.
During the golden period one of the narcs used food as part of the seduction, so he would come over with food, and bring me drinks and cheese cake etc while I was working. It worked!
At a shopping mall one time, sitting, eating Cinnabons, he finished his and quick as a wink reached his fork over and took my last bite. That was me coming face to face with his sense of entitlement, had I known. It was most upsetting, he thought it was hysterical. It never happened again though.
When I saw this video, HG, I wondered what to expect. It was interesting to see and find out how the use of food comes into this….. I’ll leave the shopping list on the wall.
“…shopping list on the wall.” …laughing!!!