The Pursuit of Revenge



I know you hate me. Your kind are filled with love and then filled with hate. There is no need to deny it. It is a normal reaction for someone like you and one which I entirely endorse and encourage. I know you will try and mask that burning anger that you feel by saying you pity me or that you have nothing but contempt for me but I can see it. Those sensational eyes of yours that once blazed with desire, passion and most of all hope, are now filled with the churning, billowing flames of hatred. Some of you will fight to contain this sensation. You fear that by giving in to this hatred that you will somehow be on a level with me. I can ease your fears in that regard. You are nowhere near my level and nor were you. I placed you far higher than me to begin with. Yes it was artificial and all part of my design but you had no complaint then did you? You did not object or demur when I thrust you skywards and planted you no that pedestal. Of course you did not. Who would? Nobody would and least of all somebody like you. Now you are on your true level, way down below me, cast onto stony ground, broken and shattered. Amazing though isn’t it how you managed to summon such an anger from somewhere. How many times had you said to your confidantes that you felt numb (yes they were reporting back to me). Yet now look at you. A seething, glowering fireball of hatred and it is all directed at me. I adore this.

You want to destroy me. I know you do. You all do. The one before you was exactly the same as the one before was and the one before her. The next one will be just the same,although I do still hold out some hope that she might just be different and somehow avoid the mistakes all those who have gone before have made. I have seen this hatred many times and your desire for revenge is strong. Of course it is. I made it this way. Everything I did as I brought you down low was programmed to cause you to eventually explode into hatred. From elation to despair, through broken to numb. Eventually the switch would be flicked and as puppet master I ignite the fire beneath you which stokes the flames of hatred. Despise me, go on, do it. Send those wicked words towards me. Tell me what a bastard I am. Keep it coming. Pull you hair, wave your fist and stamp your feet. Tell me how you are going to scratch my car. Feels good does it not? Believe me, it feels even better being on the receiving end of your bile and hate. Go on, sit with your friends and plot your revenge, I can feel you all huddled around your cauldron as you try and concoct ways at getting back at me. I feel so powerful knowing you are focussed on seeking retribution. This is what I want. I want to bask in the heat of your anger, I want to be covered in the disgust and distaste that you will spew towards me. I want you scheming, hatching and planning. By hurting you do deeply I plant inside you that overwhelming desire to get even with me. It happens every time and is all part of my master plan to ensure you, my beautiful appliance keep pouring fuel in my direction. I make you seek revenge for in doing so, your planning and ham-fisted execution of the same give me what I want. Fuel. You are blinded with your hatred so that you fail to realise you will not succeed in gaining revenge, not by shouting, spitting and scratching. Oh no, this overload of howling anger is just a banshee of fuel to me. I will twist and shift as I thwart your attempts, laughing at your pathetic efforts to try and get one over on me. This will spur you on as I lead you on yet another merry dance as I continue to take from you exactly what I need. So please, seek your revenge. You will not get it but I will be delighted seeing you try.

4 thoughts on “The Pursuit of Revenge

  1. Ciara says:

    I was sitting and thinking about to making a terrible call to the ex narc who came to my house when I was not there and took something, ..Then I ran across this article, I’m so glad I did because he’s not worthy of my voice or text.I see I’ll be feeding him if I did..I’ll just set back and read H.G. articles which encourages me to be strong and to put logic over 🖤 emotions.The best revenge is no contact! Thanks H.G This was right on time.

  2. lisk says:

    No Contact has me filled with the feeling of freedom.

    Freedom can be scary.

  3. leelasfuelstinks says:

    There´s no need and no reason for hatred. Narcs are people with a severe personality disorder. To me personally they are mentally ill people. It´s not their fault. They were already created when they were babies and toddlers. They developed their self-defense mechanism at a very early age due to genetics and lack of control environment, mostly it was the mother who created them. They are mostly the result of horrible parenting! Their brain development arrested at very early age. Narcissists are children. The True Self is a terribly damaged child. The rest is just a mere construct, the False Self is there to defend them. They act horribly in order to defend themselves from their traumas and the world. Some cope well, others do not.

    1. lickemtomorrow says:

      The ideal place to get to would be indifference, Leela, and comments like yours help to put things in perspective. It can take a long time to get over the hurt. We are not automatons like the narcissist who has no empathy, no guilt or remorse. I’m not sure sometimes if it sucks worse to be us or sucks worse to be them. I can’t always hold my anger in abeyance. It has to come out. At the same time, I’d love to be rid of the narcs and the way they made me feel, jettison any emotion concerning them. If I let the anger, hatred out gradually, eventually it might dissipate. That’s what I would hope. And I have detached from all my narcs so that should make the job easier. Eventually they will all prove just a distant memory and the emotions won’t be buried, they will just have disappeared. For good. Just like the narcissist.

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