Promiscuous Boy



I remember the day, or more accurately that the floodgates were opened on my promiscuity. It was when I attended a particular university for the purposes of an admission interview. It was early December and this historic and beautiful university city was lit up by orange and yellow lamps as a little mist clung to the narrow alleyways and courtyards. I had concluded my two interviews (read Fury if you want to know more about how they progressed and how one interview impacted on me) and returned to the junior common room to meet up with two other candidates.

They were applying to the same college but to read a different subject to me. They were both English literature students. He was from Greenock in Scotland and she was a bookbinder’s daughter from Cambridge in England. Beer was consumed, stories swapped and the fellow from Greenock retired to his room. The bookbinder’s daughter, she was called Sarah, came back to my room and we talked before we climbed into bed together. I had a girlfriend at the time and whilst there had been dalliances with other girls I had not slept with another. That changed that night. And in the morning too.

Sarah wandered away across the quadrangle to her room and I rose from my bed to seek out the bathroom. She decided to stay another day at the college because she wanted to spend time with me. I was happy for her to do so as I waited around, as was customary, in case an interview arose at another college.  The following day we both departed, she to the east and me to the west and once I alighted at the train station near to my girlfriend’s house I went straight round to see her. She was pleased to see me and embraced me with enthusiasm. I returned the enthusiasm. I had no sense of guilt at my infidelity. Nothing at all. Instead I revelled in the way I had taken Sarah to my bed and now strode into my then girlfriend’s bedroom with her asking with admiration how my interview had progressed and what the college was like.

Following that first time I never looked back. I cheated left, right and centre. With that girlfriend and with all subsequently. Why did I do it? Way back then I realised how good it made me feel but I had no understanding of why I actually did it. Something always drove me to do it. I realised that the relevant girlfriend would be upset if she knew what I had done but this never stopped me. I never gave it a second thought.

Even as I was locked in an embrace with some relative stranger and an image of the girlfriend formed in my mind I felt no tug of conscience, remorse or guilt. All I knew was that I was able to seduce, pull, entice and ensnare everywhere I went. I would meet someone and always find something attractive about them – it might be the colour of their hair, the length of their legs, their accent, the way they rolled the letter r, the fact they drank with a straw or the size of their breasts. It might be their enthusiasm for a particular band, their recollections of travelling or the manicured nails. Each and everyone had some kind of attraction.

I could not resist trying to ensnare someone in order to bring them under my spell. It was then that I realised what it was that really drew me to them, it was the promise of their attention. I realised I was able to get them hooked on me. I had convinced myself that I was drawn to them for some other reason but it dawned on me that I was just telling myself that as a reason. A reason that I required to explain this compelling desire to couple with someone. But that was not the real reason. The truth was that I wanted their attention on me and this was the way to get it.

Yes it was pleasant engaging in that first kiss and I enjoyed the sensations that arose when the embrace escalated but it was not what I actually I wanted. I wanted them to praise me. I wanted them to become transfixed by me and for them to shine their spotlight firmly on me.  The promiscuity has always continued and it does not matter who with it is the fact that I am able to do seduce and by so doing gather that starry-eyed admiration, those pleasing words and the attention. This engagement does not end with behaving in a promiscuous fashion. I will engage in discussions with a stranger of my own sex,at a bar, a railway platform or in a lift. I have no desire to seduce them sexually for that is not my preference but I do cause them to like me and in so doing give me that fuel that I need.

Often I feel like admitting my repeated transgressions straight away to the relevant girlfriend of the time but I have no desire to puncture my primary source of fuel by doing this. I do find it interesting how they always react with such alarm and distress on the odd occasion I do make such a confession. If I tell them how well I got on with a random male in an exchange at a bar, someone with whom I have swapped views, thoughts and opinions, I receive a smile and a comment of,

“Always good to make new friends.”

Yet an admission of coupling with a stranger results in hysteria even though to me these interactions are similar. Yes, one might yield greater fuel than the other but in terms of intimacy they are equally redundant. That is not why I do it. I do not do it because I want to savour the sensation of another’s mouth against me. I do it because I want them to give me fuel. I can understand how you may be aghast if in a normal relationship a partner behaves with infidelity but to our kind it just about the attention, the admiration, the fuel. You have such a great hang up because sex is involved. That is just the gateway device to me. If I could get the attention another way so that it provides such fuel then believe me I will do it. However, in your world, on the whole, the act of a sexual union accords a greater connection between two people which means you yield more fuel and are more inclined to keep providing it as you seek more from the liaison.

Our promiscuity arises to enable us to achieve fuel. From the new target who is seduced by us and from you should we alert you in some way (either in whole or in part) to our new interest. The condemnation that is attached to promiscuity when in a relationship means that your reaction just provides us with even more fuel. There is a risk of your supply being punctured by this revelation but it is a calculated risk and is often done when the quality of your supply generally has started to wane.

To us promiscuity when in a relationship is merely a means to an end. To you, well, you behave as if it is the end of the world. It really isn’t.

47 thoughts on “Promiscuous Boy

  1. Patricia says:

    I’m autistic and I read often about being narcissistic and my experience after diagnoses has given me more understanding from my own viewpoint. Obviously it’s different for everyone.. . I remain alone as I won’t want to hurt or offend anyone unintentionally.

    I wasnr diagnosed until my son was 10 – also on the spectrum and served a full military career as a means of survival. It’s a harsh reality learning that for year’s I’ve most likely been misunderstanding the intentions of others. This causes problems and over the years I decided relationships are too risky as I am a people pleaser by nature and prone to manipulation as I would always carry the blame, fear rejection so to reject anyone would mean pain for them so I would stick it out which isn’t nice either for anyone. That to me is a mix of communication difficulty and too much empathy.misplaced

    I can say that I have attracted many narcissists over time and only one completely derailed me and my view of the world. He was like pure nectar. Yet I didn’t know I was autistic and I’m sure if he did it probably wouldn’t have happened given his status. I still have deep feelings for him and knowing he probably hates me because of how I reacted hurts me deeply. I cant forgive myself for and live with a shame and runmination I can’t let go. As in my mind, I am all wrong and all bad. He is all good and perfect. I hurt the people I love the most trying to fix problems and make it worse.

    I ask a lot of questions to know what I’m expecting or walking into not to be controlling. When I have no recognition of context words are extremely important to me. When you don’t know how you feel in your body and you don’t pick up nuance or facial expressions and body language you also fail to know who is safe and who isn’t.

    Texting makes this worse because people can say what they like and you think they are as honest. Over the years energy is something I have learned I’ve actually been getting right yet if someone tells me otherwise I would believe them… Explains how gas lighting is common for me. I’ve learned more through HG’s work in what happened to me than anywhere else.

    I ignored it because of the love bombing and word salad I was primed with. The fact that someone gave me so much attention and it was the first time someone was so nice to me was all an illusion is hard to process. I mirror because I have to. Put that with a narcissist and watch what happens. It’s not a nice outcome at all when you’re a people pleaser that’s for sure. There is truth in that energy doesn’t lie. I’ve always taken it upon myself to manage the energy of others as I feel it’s my fault. Something I spent my childhood doing. I must be bad how can I fix this situation? Money, food, back rub, beer. Sex??

    I feel ugly all of the time. So if I’m pursued by someone attractive I’m suspicious as I can’t see myself in that way. I’m apparently arrogant, rude and unapproachable learning this about me hurt a lot. It may or may not be true and another smack down to destroy my confidence. Another reason I’m probably a key candidate as I look as though I need to be taught a lesson. All the questions I ask for clarity probably come off as controlling who does she think she is? I’ll show her” many perspectives. I’m soft beneath. Ask my son.

    When someone comes to you with all the attention you have never experienced it’s a dangerous combination. Lack of self-awareness and introception means I don’t have the real-time body emotional processing going on in the moment only logical so I have to know what to expect with words beforehand. Using logic when something unexpected happens led to disastrous consequences as my emotions don’t process until much later. Sometimes weeks other times years.

    I can be easily manipulated as my body doesn’t catch up until long after the event. I feel way too much of the world and now I’m stuck with so much anxiety that I barely open my mouth.

    I don’t recognise if I’m being treated poorly because of jealousy or envy or something I’ve done I would always assume I’ve done something wrong and make it my job to fix it. Easily manipulated.It’s taken me decades to realise how many times I’ve been trying to please people who are jealous or just don’t like me. I know we all can’t like everyone but I suppose that comes with not seeing social status as a means of special treatment and not showing preference to a certain group or status and not realising most people do.

    I want to feel loved. I want to experience what a healthy relationship looks like. One where I feel I don’t have to perform like a monkey. My anxiety and fear stops me getting over the first hurdle so no one knows the real me.

    I have one closest friend who knows my history. She is golden and I would put anyone straight who mentioned her name in vain.

    Am I autistic? Yes because I’m time blind, obsessive and ridiculously loyal,my needs are based on values not likes. I don’t one up people even on my worst day. People I’m not interested in think I’m flirting with them, people I fancy think I hate them. i don’t have big picture thinking I have to plan in metacog for everything. Details take up my day. I solve everyone elses problems first to my own detriment. I’m told everyone else problems because I’m apparently great at advice and feel them as if they’re my own. I obsess over what I did, didn’t say or do when I should have done something else. I have no social skills creativity worsens the more I’m isolated.

    I have advanced pattern recognition. I can’t socially talk about myself. No one knows anything about my actual timeline. I can’t lie on the spot and if I’m forced to or under duress it would be the most unbelievable horse shit you’ve ever heard or would possibly lead to an accident or police presence.

    I move around my furniture often. I can pick the winner on the grand national most of the time..I have an 8-octave range only 2 people know about, I’m an idealist, (everything outside of myself but inside I am blind) I write poetry and pick up tiny details most wouldn’t notice. I actually love people. Just not too many or for too long and not many people like me. If they do I wouldn’t know anyway and if they told me I would be believe them unless theyre special doe some reason.I say what I mean based on how I feel in that moment which is never accurate because if I’m sad I can’t socially hide it. Much like if I’m ridiculously happy it’s best I don’t attend your Nans funeral either. I apologise a lot. (Sorry for the essay)

    Oh, and I live for my son and cats!!

    …like cats, Energy doesn’t lie. I most probably have picked up N traits over time as coping mechanisms but I know I’m not a narcissist.

    1. Witch says:

      I think a lot of people can relate to your experiences who are not narcissists.
      Many empaths want to please everyone even though it’s impossible to do so.
      Sometimes it’s okay to offend other people.
      We all get offended by something and we still have to man up and get on with our day.
      Welcome to the mad house

    2. Asp Emp says:

      Patricia, I read your comment, not without emotion, nor without understanding. I can relate to much of what you say, you have described it so well. I too, have a ‘soft’ side, sometimes too soft yet can come across the opposite. It was good to see it all in someone else’s words. I hope your comment will also help others to be able to have a better understanding of themselves. Thank you so very much for sharing, it means a lot.

    3. Empath007 says:

      One thing that helped me during my ruminating and blaming myself was to repedatley to myself “this is not your fault” “you’re not responsible for him” “what happened is not personal and not a reflection on you”….

      I’ve had to repeat phrases like that to myself hundreds of times to keep things in perspective.

      I hope you can forgive yourself and stop blaming yourself soon ❤️

    4. iris says:

      I am also autistic and have not been diagnosed until the age of 40. I am narcissistic towards myself. And I’m hurting myself at the most severe levels. I’m just now aware of all the narcissistic and empathetic matters. I do not know exactly what I am but I have been used a lot by the narcissistic parents who took advantage of my autism. And they did not take me to a diagnosis for many years so that I could stay in touch with them and support them.

      1. Truthseeker6157 says:


        I really feel for you here. To have your diagnosis so late in life due to such selfish reasoning on the part of your parents, must have been incredibly hard for you. To have them take advantage of your autism is worse still.

        I am glad you made it to Narcsite. You will find clarity here.


      2. Asp Emp says:

        Iris, thank you for sharing your experiences. I would suggest that there is a possibility that many, if not the majority of autistics who have narcissistic parent(s) / carers may have had similar ‘treatment’.

        If you feel you can talk to us on here, then please do. If not, maybe consider a consult with HG. He understands quite a bit of what we experience as a result of being a recipient of narcissistic abuse.

        Maybe you are similar to what I ‘class’ myself as, someone with Aspergers, an ACON, CPTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder – as a result of narcissistic abuse) and I have other ‘conditions’ – but to simplify it, someone with neurodiversities and / or co-morbidities.

        I hope you can find some way of getting some support here, you are in the right place here. The UK’s National Autistic Society has some really useful information, if that is of any help to you?

  2. Bubbles says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    Narcs suck the life out of the contents, then discard the wrapper on the ground !
    You end up with all the sweet treats, we end up with the sour drops 🍬
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  3. BC30 says:

    If I had had sex with every legitimate opportunity I’ve ever had, (I’m excluding group sex scenarios) my body count would be in the hundreds. It’s too easy to find sex partners, so there is no “value” if I just sleep with all of them.

    I continue to fail at wrapping my mind around this. I know it’s about control, but how much “control” is there when you are not discerning about the individuals you have sex with?

    I really struggle with this!

    1. Empath007 says:

      I don’t have that ability. I was always very vocal with men and they never wanted to sleep with me lol. That’s when I was younger… I find most men want to be in control (shocker) so when you take that away from them they are not interested.

      So when people say “sex comes easyily” I have no idea what they’re talking about. I don’t attract that kind of attention. And I think it’s more personality based then physical – as upon some personal growth – realize I am a attractive woman, particularly my figure – it’s very Kim kardashian esc… but men have never been all that attracted to me regardless 🤷🏻‍♀️

      1. BC30 says:

        It’s absolutely a vibe! I once did a seminar in which, after a couple days, participants were asked to say Yes or No to whether they would be ok being stuck on a deserted island with every moment of the opposite sex. I scored way lower than I expected. My feedback was that I was gorgeous but looked mean. 😜 I guess it was my RBF cause if I’m attracted to a man, he’ll know.

        1. Leigh says:

          This made me chuckle because I always have “resting bitch face” on. I do it on purpose to keep people away.

        2. Empath007 says:

          Haha. Ya whatever the gift is… I do not have it. I suppose non narcissits are always at a slight disadvantage this way… but I’ve got no game. It just is what it is.

    2. Empath007 says:

      Also very good point about having control when many of them will sleep with just about anybody. I once worked with a female narc who slept with men who completely repulsed me (morbidly obese, really old etc). And im thinking … perhaps I’m the lucky one for having some higher expectations other then fuel lol

      1. BC30 says:

        In my experience, this is true. My FWB before the current one wanted to end things because he didn’t feel “in control.”

        The upside to being a MILFy cougar is there are many strapping cubs to choose from. 😂😂😂

  4. Empath007 says:

    The idea that promiscuity is bad, I believe, stems from the church.

    The church (I believe) stems from persuasive narcissits (including Jesus, my personal theory is he existed but was a narcissits who created a
    Ban of followers – but that’s a whole other topic)

    Now, empaths Latch on to these teachings because we are rule followers, we always strive to do what’s “right”. If we feel we have broken to rules we think that we will punished for it in some way. Originally it was the church damming us to hell – for the less religious of us we may believe in Karma.

    Combine that with our ability to feel guilt and self
    Flagellate we’ve bought into the fact it’s bad.

    Also – we aren’t designed to hurt people and we would feel guilty, for hurting someone who we love and respect. It’s just not something we would do.

    I’m coming to understand though this while notion of guilt is really nothing but a narcissist narrative – designed to keep empaths down and “in line”. So that the cheating has even more affect on us then it really should. Truthfully it does not only affect empaths but normals and narcissits alike (because they also become inflamed when someone cheats) – and it’s all bullshit.

    For me, the only “good” reason for not cheating would be because I love and respect someone and I value their feelings. Therefore I make a concious chose to be faithful.

    Otherwise, no one really needs to feel guilty about all this, including empaths. Sexuality is human nature, and humans trying to control other humans (narcissits) turned it into this thing that needs to be controlled and repressed – when it doesn’t.

    1. Asp Emp says:

      Empath007, it was interesting to read your view that promiscuity stems from the church. Maybe it existed from around the time when religion started (possibly 3200 BC) and, for some reason, it made me think of witches and the first ones existed centuries prior to the first church existing. There are many ‘dynasties’, rulers in history where it is very possible that narcissists existed.

      If it is viewed at in some lateral way – if there were bodily disfigurements in all of time in the history of humankind, who is to say that there was no neurological ‘conditions’ at the same time? Hence, maybe narcissism has always existed but it was not given a ‘label’ as such, as with so many different ‘conditions’ that are ‘labelled’ today?

      Then again, maybe people did not always pair for life with one person (until separated by death) – maybe ‘promiscuity’ has always existed in human life, from right at the beginning? Back then, ‘morals’ did not exist – only instinctual and primal survival?

    2. Lea says:

      It’s about honesty. And it’s about personal integrity. You can’t have one person in a relationship thinking it’s monogamous and the other thinking it’s polygamous. An honest person would be upfront with what they are about. A dishonest person will conceal that. It boils down to ego and conscious decision making.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Lea, absolutely, very well worded.

  5. Asp Emp says:

    Re-reading this article today reminded me of HG’s book ‘Sex : How the Narcissist Views Sex and The Role It Plays In Your Entanglement’.

    In my opinion, it is not necessarily narcissists who may behave in the manner as described in this article. There may be people who are not narcissists yet may have alexithymia and / or autism, where individuals may have difficulties in understanding their emotions and / or sensations of the body in relation to the emotions.

    There could be children / young teenagers / young people (with the ‘conditions’ as mentioned in above paragraph) who have ‘observed’ sexual overtures (via internet, or other people around them – the list is endless) and effectively are ‘learning’ from what they see (observing). At the same time, the individual has not yet necessarily had any ‘education’ on relationships with other people and what is considered ‘morally acceptable’ in, especially sexual (without emotion), actions towards others (who may lack the understanding of narcissism / alexithymia / autism etc) and misconstrue the “thinking” of the individuals with the different behaviours considered ‘outside the norm’.

    So, anyone who is either family, friend, carer, teacher of an individual (from a child to young person – under 18 years old) – with narcissism and / or autism and /or alexithymia – should consider reading HG’s book to gain an insight into understanding part of the behaviours of the individual. I say part because other behaviours and / or traits could be further determined as per ‘condition’.

    What I am saying is, that HG’s work is not (in my view) just all about learning what narcissism is, what empaths are – his work is also really useful for educating others (whether as individuals or family / friend / carer) about relationships, behaviours with other people when there is lack of clarity on the emotional (and sometimes) cognitive empathy of individuals with autism and so on.

    It will be a VERY interesting conversation with the 2 friends that I have not seen for some time to hear about what I have say about KTN site information……..

    Thank you, HG, for providing the resources for me to learn, to use and speak my mind analytically because I was able to ‘liberate’ it from all the psycho-shit accumulated from past narcissist influence. You are an absolute star.

    1. Witch says:

      Eerrmm I don’t think it relates to autism unless that autistic person is also a narcissist.
      I also dated a narcissist who thought they were autistic when they were just a plain old narcissist who was attempting to blame shift onto a disability.
      Or maybe you have an explanation as to how it relates to autism?

      1. alexissmith2016 says:

        Interesting Witch. A couple of the mid-rangers I know (who have some degree of awareness they are Ns based on comments) have tried to convince me they’re autistic. I suspect they do this so that we make acceptations for their behaviour.

        I’ve also noticed some mid range in particular seem to have a bit of a funny walk. I’m not quite sure how to articulate it really. I’d need to see them in front of me, but it’s as unique to certain Ns as the dead eyes are. Has anyone else noticed this ‘walk’ at all?

        In relation to autism, I’ve also noticed that many Ns I know have a child who is autistic, there must be some kind of crossover. I’d also say I have a strong autistic streak in me.

        1. BC30 says:

          The MMR tried to convince me he was autistic. 😆

          The UMR would have been aghast at the mere suggestion that he was autistic. 😂

        2. Witch says:

          The person I’m referring to was a woman with an autistic son and I believe it was partly a character trait acquisition.

          You know how narcissists don’t like it when you’re having fun without them and so they try and cause an issue? Well yeah, she tried to cause an argument by text whilst I was out at an event without her and claimed she couldn’t understand my intentions in my messages because of her “autism.”
          I’m very honest, straight talking and clear in text so there wasn’t anything that couldn’t be understood. And she wasn’t intellectually impaired either.
          The conversation was just threatening to her control.
          I believe she was primarily a victim narcissist with some somatic traits. She was definitely the most paranoid narc I’ve dated. She would make up the most BS stories about how her ex-husband was stalking her.. .E.g he was taking pictures of her through her phone? Like how is that even possible when he hadn’t had access to her phone in years.
          She even put a sticker over my phone camera because her husband might contact me lol
          Honestly, Why do I have these stories Alexis?
          Thank goodness I discovered this place

          1. alexissmith2016 says:

            Hahahah love your stories @witch! I guess it’s being the empath that you are and consequently attracting these god damn Ns. But once you’re not entangled with them, they can be very entertaining, even if they don’t intend to be. More,more,more

        3. Truthseeker6157 says:


          Funny walk as in John Cleesesque?

          Please describe le funny walk as I require further clarification.


          1. Alexissmith2016 says:

            Aghh only just seen this comment and the one from LEigh!

            Glad you see the walk too Leigh.

            Hmmm TS it’s really hard to describe but yes I guess John Clees is a very exaggerated version. But not all Ns

          2. Magician6157 says:


            No problem, I seem to be losing comments all over the place. I never intentionally just don’t answer, I’d say if I was bowing out of a conversation. Word Press is just a mischievous little imp!

        4. Leigh says:

          OMG Alexis, I know what you mean about the walk!!! Now that you have mentioned it, I definitely know what you are talking about. I noticed it in workplace narc and a couple of other individuals that I believe are narcs. I haven’t noticed it in my husband. I’ll have to pay more attention now. I also noticed that workplace narc stood a little odd too. Before I found this blog, I often would look at him walking away and it almost felt like I was looking at someone else. It was bizarre.

          As for autism, I’ve also noticed that many of the narcs I know have autistic children. What I’ve also noticed is they tend to be boys. At least all the ones I know. Both of my brothers have issues. One has not been diagnosed but I’m sure he’s autistic. The other is developmentally disabled. He’s like a third grader or younger but he’s highly empathic. He always wanted to protect me from my father and my other brother and I always wanted to protect him from our mother. I also can think of several other narcs that have autistic children. Neither one of my children seem to display signs of autism and no teacher or doctor has even suggested it either. Its all very interesting.

          1. Alexissmith2016 says:

            Aghh only just seen this comment and the one from TS!

            Glad you see the walk too Leigh.

            Hmmm TS it’s really hard to describe but yes I guess John Clees is a very exaggerated version. But not all Ns

          2. Leigh says:

            Its ok. WordPress is terrible with notifications!

          3. Asp Emp says:

            Leigh & Alexis,

            I may be over-stepping (oh, the irony) the mark here, I have wondered whether the walk as people are referring to here is similar to the gait that is quite a common trait within those on the autism spectrum. May be this particular trait is ‘shared’ within those with ASD and NPD? It can be found in people with ADHD too. The levels of ‘severity’ may differ in people.

            An occupational therapist in UK diagnosed me (at age 45) to have the gait, which is one of the diagnostic criteria of ASD. Yet it was always apparent when I was a child too.

            The video is around 1 minute long but very informative.



      2. Asp Emp says:

        Witch, thank you for your views. I am diagnosed Aspergers. I am also empath. I have dark triad traits as well as narcissistic streaks. I have high sensitivity to a number of things ie hate fake lights and the brightness of fake lights, preference for natural daylight. That is ONE example of the similarities between an empath and Aspergers. I also have worked with people who have autism varying from the severe to high functioning parts of the spectrum. I have knowledge of the characteristics of autism and aspergers (as an individual, research and via others). In relation to the characteristics of those with narcissism, empaths and Aspergers – the information is on the internet and I came across these and noticed similarities – it was also a contributing factor to my decision to join KTN site.

        1. Witch says:


          I understand that there are autistic people with narcissistic traits (there are narc traits in most people) and some who are comorbid.
          I was just curious on how you see this article relating to autism in particular?

          1. Asp Emp says:

            Witch, if you read my original comment when I posted on this article – it is more or less stated in there. Adding to the fact this article is one of HG’s earlier life experiences when he was a young adult. Similarities in some of the behaviours can be found in those with autism from teens to young adults – depends on where they are on the ‘developmental delay’ journey in their life – more on this can be found on the internet.

            Autistic people can have empath traits as well as narcissistic traits.

          2. Witch says:


            Maybe I’m just misunderstanding and missing the point.

            I read your comment and I understand that someone who is autistic and not a narcissist can experience challenges in understanding expectations and social norms within sexual relationships; particularly around understanding non-verbal communication – “flirting” etc.
            I’m just wondering how this specifically relates to narcissistic promiscuity and repeated sexual infidelity and how we are also learning about autism in relation to this article?
            Are you saying non-narc autistic people have similar motivations around sex as narcissists?

          3. Asp Emp says:

            Witch, thank you for your questions, please use the internet and read about ‘development delay’ using sex and autism in the search engine, you may find some answers there, as this is not necessarily about narcissism yet there are similarities.

    2. Chihuahuamum says:

      Hi Asp Emp… I think people on the autism spectrum can definitely have narcissistic tendencies, but where it differs is the manipulative nature. Autistics don’t have the social cognitive aspect to deliberately in a calculated manner manipukate the same way a narcissist does. Narcissists imo are very advanced at understanding people and use this to manipulate. They’d prey on a autistic person. People with autism can come off selfish and detatched emotionally, but this is coming from a different place opposed to a narcissist where it’s a coping mechanism.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        C, thank you very much for your view. It was very good to read – your explanations show that you have understanding and recognising the differences in ‘perspectives’ between narcissists and autistics. Very encouraging 🙂

        1. Chihuahuamum says:

          Hi Asp Emp…Thanks for your reply! I can see how the two could be confused with being the same. Sadly autistics are very misunderstood and struggle socially. It can be very isolating for them and they can be judged harshly.

          1. Asp Emp says:

            C, what you have said – absolutely spot on. Also why narcissists who are unaware of what they are tend to ‘sense’, quite possibly the similar characteristics within autistics and it would also explain why narcissists instinctively abuse the autisitics. The narcissists at work were using ‘narcspeak’ at times communicating with me (I mean, seriously F.O!). Yet I sometimes gave back to the narcissist empath ‘grenade-speak’, giving them a ‘404’ at times. Yes, it can be very isolating and judging – I have heard as such from other adults on the spectrum and helped advise the younger ones, or newly diagnosed older adults. Most of the time, it was reassurance & understanding autism that they needed, sometimes it was general day to day living / tasks. I suppose this also explains partly why I was able to ‘grasp’ learning about narcissism.

            Thank you for your words, empowering to be understood from the autism perspective.

          2. Chihuahuamum says:

            Hi Asp emp…thank you for your reply! I meant to add in an earlier reply i was surprised a narcissist would think they may have autism and even moreso admit to it because they’d view it as weak or beneath them. This i find surprising!
            I’ve seen some people state they have autism and imo are misdiagnosed. Im not a specialist tho so it’s just going by what i know first hand about autism and it is a spectrum. One lady i know is alwats atating she has autism yet she is very much aware of how people think and is manipulative so possibly she is a narcissist covering with an autism diagnosis. She could be a mid ranger that’d explain it if she was.

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Deflection from what they are and potential pity play. The narcissism would use autism as a means to triangulate for the assertion of control and the drawing of fuel.

          4. Asp Emp says:

            Thank you, HG, for sharing this fact. I have actually seen this for myself yet my instincts told me otherwise.

          5. Chihuahuamum says:

            Hi HG… I’d not initially thought of this, but it does make sense in relation to this lady. She does the pity playing a lot. I only know her from online and social media. Many of her posts are about pity plays and she does draw a lot of fuel from it. Yes midranger makes sense!

          6. Asp Emp says:

            C, I once worked with a female who was older than me and we were just chatting then she suddenly says to me “I have Aspergers but never diagnosed”…… I responded “Oh, right, not everyone goes for an official diagnosis” then she says about her sister too but her sister died……. very similar to what HG says in his response to your comment…… yet, I did not believe her because of her behaviours, sayings etc – grandoisity, entitlement etc. BUT I did not call her out cos she was paid staff and I was volunteer……

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