Harry´s Wife : Part 73.2 The Future
4 thoughts on “Harry´s Wife : Part 73.2 The Future”
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From what you say from 09:42 to 10:30 – I have used a similar ‘approach’ in the past – not in relation to narcissism specifically but when it came to explaining something to someone about the possibility of ie Aspergers because I was seeing the characteristics within those individuals, yet at the same time, pointing out that the AQ Test is not a definitive.
Some people find it easier to receive information on paper rather than verbally. It also depends on the neurological ‘wiring’ of the individual’s mind, the type of person you are communicating with, whether you know them well enough to see how they would take the information to hand.
My GP has done similar in the past, ie printing off something from the internet for me to take away and read, for me to research more into etc.
Sometimes it is also easier to explain things in person rather than type it out and not speak face to face about the subject.
HG, your suggestion of 3 to 5 years, at most, about their ‘relationship’, with the possibility of potentially no disengagement as yet with a lot of ‘to and fro’ (the devaluations and the respites) – with their children seeing all of this, and the fact she is not necessarily an ‘evolved’ narcissist – I reckon there are more ACONs in the making here. Unless, of course, the ‘major shift’ happens far sooner – highly unlikely from what you have said. With children witnessing potentially a very bad LOCE, they may turn out to be right ‘tearaways’ with CPTSD – possibly with further neurological conditions due to GPD from both parents.
Yes, I was thinking pride is a big element in keeping Harry from awareness. He has burned bridges and will need to swallow his pride if he ever wants to rebuild them. Needless to say he may well be welcomed with open arms, but he doesn’t know that. For now he just thinks he is right. They are wrong. I wonder how much of this is thinking the narcissist imbues us with due to their own black and white thinking? Rhetorical question. But if we are under their influence then we are also being encouraged to see the world through their eyes – i.e. black and white. It’s much harder to step back into a more neutral position when our pride gets in the way. And Harry needs to go neutral with regard to his family to help bridge the gap. Holding them accountable for every conceived wrong is never going to help mend fences or enable his rescue or facilitate his escape.
I remember describing the experience and outcome of my marriage to the narcissist as a pride swallowing exercise I hoped never to repeat. It will become a pride swallowing exercise for Harry also.
LET, wow! Pride was a big thing that held me back too! Thank you for that!!
LET, good to read your views 🙂 In relation to Harry being ‘neutral’ will be difficult with his ‘mindset’ as present and eventually (hopefully) when he learns to understand what ET / LT is in HG’s language (terminology), he will realise his ‘behaviours’ could be considered ‘warped’ due to the prism of perceptions deriving from narcissistic addiction / influence. The Royal Family also need to learn all about narcissism and the addiction in order to be able to assist Harry too. Yet, how many of the RF are not narcissists? A conundrum indeed…..