The Futility of Feelings
Feelings are an unnecessary burden and thankfully I have been relieved of many of them, being left only with those which are deemed necessary to enable me to pursue the harvesting of fuel. Feelings blur and weaken. How many times have you heard your alarm go off in the morning and you have rolled over feeling like you do not want to get up? Many times I should imagine. That feeling of apprehension about what the day holds for you, despondency at what has happened to you and dread about what you have to do weakens you and holds you back. You spend much of your life in the pursuit of this notion of happiness but are you ever truly happy? Do you look at what you have and wish you had more? Do you look at other people around you and imagine how happy they must be and you wish that you were more like them? All you achieve is bitterness. Perhaps you do feel happy but as the empath that you are you see those who you regard as less happy than you and you wish that they could be more like you. All you achieve is vanity. You spend so much of your time seeking to be happy and then you worry about whether it is fleeting in nature. You express concern that you just want to be happy and spend more and more time trying to achieve this state of nirvana. You suffer from feeling sadness which leads to paralysis and indecision. You feel frustrated which sucks up your energy and leaves you feeling spent. You take pride in your ability to feel and to be able to feel on behalf of others yet all you are doing is allowing yourself to be burdened. Why bother pursuing those feelings which are regarded as positive, such as joy, happiness and elation? Is the effort truly worth it when you get there only for it to be a fleeting moment which then casts you into despondency? What was the point of that? Why allow yourself to be mired in upset, misery and dejection? You achieve nothing as you slowly sink into a quagmire of such negativity. Your feelings deceive you, press down on you and above all else allow us to manipulate you. It is because you feel this array of emotions that you provide us with emotional reactions. Of course you know that these emotional reactions create my fuel. Your feelings are to blame.
I never acquired these feelings. This is because the pursuit of fuel cannot be distracted by these cumbersome emotions. They serve no purpose and thus were never developed. I am built for the acquisition of fuel and nothing else. I am an efficient design, single-minded and driven. All excess baggage was not jettisoned, it was never stowed on board to begin with. I am not wholly without feelings. I have been developed in a way to allow certain feelings, those that aid my purpose, to come to the fore. I feel fury which ensures that I can exert control over other people and thus extract fuel from them. I feel envy which drives me on to strip away those traits from other people which I need to create my construct. If I felt no envy, I would not want these characteristics – thus this feeling serves a purpose. There is no superfluous feeling connected with me. I feel jealousy which again causes me to strive to better that person by lauding my own achievements and prompting a reaction which garners positive fuel or by berating the person of whom I am jealous and thus I harvest negative fuel. I feel hatred. This allows me to see everything as it truly is. Hatred hones and brings into sharp focus the reality of this cruel world and thus I am better able to navigate my way through it. Hatred is visceral, it is not fluffy or amorphous. It does not cloud or blur. It is direct, straight to the point and electrifying in its capacity to allow me to always go forward. All of these feelings and ones of a similar nature have been fashioned around me to assist me in my quest for fuel. Each one discharges a method of enabling me to gather fuel so that I can feel the ultimate emotion. My pursuit of fuel is predicated on the use of these various emotions with the sole purpose of allowing me to feel that emotion which I prize above all others.
I feel powerful.
I am powerful.
16 thoughts on “The Futility of Feelings”
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I sure wish I could control my thoughts well enough to turn off the mornings of not wanting to get out of bed ! Lately the world and all the misery is really getting to me too much. How I wish I could have a period of respite ! Wonder if people who are classified as “Normals” have the healthiest, happiest, and most fulfilling existence ?
Dearest Eliza,
You are not alone, dear Eliza,
‘Normals’ are no different, they just have a slightly better balance ⚖️
When they made us, we were sprinkled with more empathy/sensitivity/overthinking dust, narcs got the burnt ashes and have been brushing it off their shoulders ever since…… along with their big leftover chip! 🤣
Show me an adult who has the healthiest happiest and most fulfilling existence …..l don’t believe they exist! No one is lucky enough to get all three!
Respite for me is turning off the tv, social media and tuning in with Mother Nature ….. that will be the closest you will experience to a healthy happy ‘in the moment’ existence
I have always been very much a people person, now that I’m older, my rebalance and recharging the batteries is going for a walk in our nearby park with the trickling stream, (I don’t mind the occasional person walking their dogs or kids on bikes having good ol fashioned fun).
We often sit in the middle of our backyard (for hours) contemplating our navals…… with either a coffee, wine, nibbles, some relaxing background music and just relish in the peace quiet n fresh air, watching the butterflies, birds n bees, soaking up some Vit D or rugged up next to our outdoor heater …..sitting and doing absolutely nothing but admire the flowers n trees.
In my book, the simple things in life are often the best…….it just doesn’t get any better than that!
It can be done lovely one 😊
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Bad Kitty, interesting to read your comment. The choice of words….”everyone is seeking the same thing”…..I suppose if the ‘goal’ is the same thing, it is a matter of how it is viewed and through what psychological ‘pathway’. Your name gave me a giggle though, thank you for that.
Your perspective is intriguing and useful however it doesn’t allow you to achieve Absolute Sovereignty. There is much to be discovered about what you do not understand. But who am I to tell you that your Rose colored glasses, are just that? Maybe they aren’t even Roses? Maybe your roses smell like poo poooo
I fully comprehend you won’t believe the information I’m kindly providing you and I hold no reserve attached to an outcome. There is no outcome I do not see as favorable. I give you credit for assisting
with my revelation. Your icing topped my cake to take reigns of win-win instead of lose-lose.
Life is your oyster if capable of discovering where absolute free will resides.
What is needed here is Emotional Maturity & Emotional Intelligence. Or most likely something psychoactive. The Great Benefits nor the Ultra Repercussions do not unveil themselves without it. Choose at your own will. I choose Absolute Sovereignty and my Right to Free Will!
In the end….. everyone truly is seeking the same thing. Success is dependent on routes taken and Cognitive Dissonance. You cannot access the truth if you’re also lying to yourself. Everything intended to be will be. If not, it’s served its purpose……exactly like you say- like an appliance.
Mother Nature has it’s way of correcting what no longer serves for what is being sought & I will tell you again….. Everyone is seeking the same thing!
“Why bother pursuing those feelings which are regarded as positive, such as joy, happiness and elation? Is the effort truly worth it when you get there only for it to be a fleeting moment which then casts you into despondency? What was the point of that?”
Someone should ask an average civilian in Afghanistan what the point of ‘positive’ feelings are.
I watched a TV documentary on the fall of Kabul which showed accounts of the chaos and terror after the US troops flew out and the Taliban took over. Normal citizens fleeing for their lives. Targeted women hiding and trying to leave the country, frightened they would be raped and murdered if discovered. A photo-journalist living in uncertainty from day to day, torn between staying to document the events or leaving to stay safe. People speaking about being trapped in a cage with all hope gone.
There was apprehension, fear, stress and uncertainty in the eyes of every person interviewed. It is an intolerable way to live.
I don’t believe that narcissists never had feelings such as joy, happiness and elation. I believe those feelings were there, but were channelled or transmitted in a particular way due to environmental factors.
A child’s naturally occurring temperament will ‘create’ a range of emotions. The environment acts on the child’s naturally occurring emotions. The environment ’causes’ some emotions to be more intense than others. The child is either encouraged or forgiven, shamed or rejected for some emotions and not others. The brain synapses linked to different emotions upon being encouraged or shamed either strengthen or fade away.
** . . . what the point of ‘positive’ feelings *is*. . . **
Today I learned a new word, “hangxiety”, from my youngest daughter. It happens when we’re hung over and hanging anxiety about our behavior when we’d been drinking. It was a relief to realize recently that I did experience this when I used to drink.
My second daughter showed interest in narcissism yesterday. She’s been opened to the idea but seemed to think it was for other people. Now she’s interested in doing the EDC, she’s convinced she’s a normal. I’m super excited! One thing she said was she thinks I function from my emotions. This surprised me but it was an interesting thing to learn, that this is her view.
Woot woot! Good luck with the EDC.
Meanwhile, I remember “hangxiety” all too well. We didn’t have a term for it tho.
Yep. My brother was found dead at 52 9 days ago. He said im sorry for you loss then asked to see pictures of my feet and tried to perv on me. Also said check under his bed for any weed and said to me i know youre grieving but stop accusing me of sharing your tit video you’re being a cunt when all i did was leak that video to someone else who posted it. Apparently leaking it is not the same as sharing it. And my brother dying is no reason for him to not ask for pictures and im an arsehole for saying no you betrayed me piss off. I though he was a lesser but hes not hes a mid range no i never ever thought he was a lesser, he appears ignorant to what he is but his catchphrases have been clear from the onset since ive come across him. Hes always posted music lyrics said i was his soul mate. He’s not quite as you describe probabiy due to his fetish situation. He admitted he likes feet boobs and face and said he never gets all three. Yes sir i can boogie, my nipples are getting hard, i dont think hes evil. No one else appears to have fallen for his crap but me as he’s really unattractive.
This is way too complicated. Powerful? You are NOTHING! And soon you will be dead. Get a grip!
My dear is a long way away, you need to spend more time finding the cow.
HG and Cherchez LaVache,
Humans can say the loveliest – and also the most terrible – words to each other.
It helps to remember that what is said is ‘just’ words. I say ‘just’ with emphasis because words are quick and easy to say. They can be said or written in seconds. The effect of words can cause pain and can last for a lifetime though, so they are not ‘just’ words.
It also helps to remember that words said in the heat of emotion are driven by the emotion, not by calm and rational thought. Words said due to emotion are fleeting and they do not tell the whole ‘story’.
HG,
You are powerful, and like all humans, you are vulnerable too. You are definitely not ‘nothing’. You are human and you are very significant to many people.
Cherchez LaVache,
We will all be dead some day, as will every single life-form on the planet. To wish death on another person is abhorrent. What do you mean by ‘get a grip’? Get a grip on what exactly? Your emotions? Your knowledge? Your knowledge about your emotions?
Like words, ‘get a grip’ is easy to say. It is hard to do though. For some it can take days and for others it can take years. As the saying goes, “Don’t judge a man (or woman) until you have walked two moons in his (or her) moccasins”.
Dearest WiserNow,
Well explained thoughts and explanations, thank you WN
Cherchez’s “This is too complicated” to me, says it all, the rest is anger.
Not understanding the complexities of narcissism results in hurt and anger….. either that or is a narc themselves……hmmmm my guess C is an angry n hurt emp, just by that comment.
Anger is such a wasted emotion, it achieves nothing!
Ironic to suggest ‘get a grip’ seeing as Mr Tudor is the ultra master of ……’make an effort to control your emotions or your behaviour’ 😂
As always, a pleasure reading your comments WN 😍
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Dear Bubbles,
Thank you for your message. It’s always a pleasure to read your comments too. Your humour and goodwill make me smile and brighten up my day 😍😘
I agree that anger is a wasted emotion. It is erratic and explosive and causes more harm than good. It needs to be controlled more forcefully (or cognitively) if it is to become useful. It helps a lot when you can see and recognise that.
Ah yes, telling an ‘Ultra’ to “get a grip” – that’s a good one! 😂🤣
Thanks again for your message Bubbles.
Luv, WN xx😘
Dearest WiserNow,
I am very touched that ‘lil ol me’ should brighten your day….. little do we realise the affect we have on others …….thank you WN, that’s so kind of you to say so.
There should be more of it…. making each other smile ….. just not by narcs 🤣
Counting to ten, removing one’s presence, taking slow deep breathes or some ‘think music’ helps when anger presents itself, especially when one is reactionary.
Remaining calm enables logic 🙏🏻 ommmmmmmmmmmmmm!
Thank you again for the warm fuzzy WN…. hopefully right back atcha 😍
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Dear Bubbles,
Your messages most certainly brighten my day and make me smile. It’s a pleasure to interact with you 🥰 😘 Thank you for your consistent positivity and goodwill.
Yes, there should be more of making each other smile and sending out positive feelings – I totally agree 💞
It’s also important to ‘know thyself’ too, especially when it comes to anger and other damaging emotions. These emotions creep up on you and threaten to overtake your reason and logic. When that initial sensation of a harmful emotion starts, all your suggestions are very helpful. Practice, practice, practice 😉👍 … It’s a lovely sunny day today, and I plan on going for a walk in the sun, getting some exercise and practicing some meditation… ommmmmmmmmmmm! 🙏🌞🌷
Thank you Bubbles – as always – for the helpful suggestions and for your positivity.
I hope that you are also having a calm, peaceful day and that you are enjoying whatever you may be doing.
Best wishes, WN xx 😘