The Desire to Destroy the Narcissist



I know you hate me. Your kind are filled with love and then filled with hate. There is no need to deny it. It is a normal reaction for someone like you and one which I entirely endorse and encourage.

I know you will try and mask that burning anger that you feel by saying you pity me or that you have nothing but contempt for me but I can see it. Those sensational eyes of yours that once blazed with desire, passion and most of all hope, are now filled with the churning, billowing flames of hatred.

Some of you will fight to contain this sensation. You fear that by giving in to this hatred that you will somehow be on a level with me. I can ease your fears in that regard. You are nowhere near my level and nor were you. I placed you far higher than me to begin with. Yes it was artificial and all part of my design but you had no complaint then did you? You did not object or demur when I thrust you skywards and planted you on that pedestal. Of course you did not.

Who would?

Nobody would and least of all somebody like you. Now you are on your true level, way down below me, cast onto stony ground, broken and shattered. Amazing though isn’t it how you managed to summon such an anger from somewhere. How many times had you said to your confidantes that you felt numb (yes they were reporting back to me). Yet now look at you. A seething, glowering fireball of hatred and it is all directed at me. I adore this.

You want to destroy me. I know you do. You all do. The one before you was exactly the same as the one before was and the one before her. The next one will be just the same,although I do expect that she might just be different and somehow avoid the mistakes all those who have gone before have made.

I have seen this hatred many times and your desire for revenge is strong. Of course it is. I made it this way. Everything I did as I brought you down low was programmed to cause you to eventually explode into hatred. From elation to despair, through broken to numb. Eventually the switch would be flicked and as puppet master I ignite the fire beneath you which stokes the flames of hatred.

Despise me, go on, do it. Send those wicked words towards me. Tell me what a bastard I am. Keep it coming. Pull your hair, wave your fist and stamp your feet. Tell me how you are going to scratch my car. Feels good does it not? Believe me, it feels even better being on the receiving end of your bile and hate.

Go on, sit with your friends and plot your revenge, I can feel you all huddled around your cauldron as you try and concoct ways at getting back at me. I feel so powerful knowing you are focussed on seeking retribution. This is what I want. I want to bask in the heat of your anger, I want to be covered in the disgust and distaste that you will spew towards me.

I want you scheming, hatching and planning. By hurting you so deeply I plant inside you that overwhelming desire to get even with me. It happens every time and is all part of my master plan to ensure you, my beautiful appliance keep pouring fuel in my direction. I make you seek revenge for in doing so, your planning and ham-fisted execution of the same give me what I want. Fuel.

You are blinded with your hatred so that you fail to realise you will not succeed in gaining revenge, not by shouting, spitting and scratching. Oh no, this overload of howling anger is just a banshee of fuel to me. I will twist and shift as I thwart your attempts, laughing at your pathetic efforts to try and get one over on me. This will spur you on as I lead you on yet another merry dance as I continue to take from you exactly what I need.

All you will do by obsessing over trying to bring me down is remain ensnared. True, we may no longer be in a Formal Relationship as husband and wife any longer, but you are continuing to engage with me. You are thinking about how to bring me down, you are discussing how hateful I am with your friends, you are stalking my online activity, you drive past where I work and where I live to see what I am doing as you plot and hatch.

All you are doing is keeping me alive in your mind, making it easier and easier for me to stay there. Your emotional thinking was too high to begin with as a consequence of the ensnarement and then the unanswered questions when I disengaged from you. You failed to drain your emotional thinking.

You failed to allow your logic to gain any kind of foothold. You have read, watched and listened but there is no room for it to sink in because your emotional thinking was too high and furthermore it remains too high. It remains too high because your desire to destroy me, to exact revenge and see me suffer keeps feeding that emotional thinking.

Round and round your thoughts go. You think you are feeling better, no longer sad, no longer hurting, but the anger that has replaced those feelings (or perhaps has temporarily overridden them) means that you have lost insight.

Your emotional thinking has you in its grip. It, in its usual cunning way, has conned you into thinking that you have moved forward by causing you to think that this anger, this planning, this desire to destroy is evidence of progress and recovery.

It is not.

It is too soon. Too soon from your disengagement. Too soon from your escape. Too soon from the hoovering.

All you are doing is engaging with me once more. My reactions may seem one of anger and irritation, but that is just my self-defence mechanism responding in order to assert my superiority once again as I draw on your Challenge Fuel. You are not wounding me. I repeat, you are not wounding me.

Your attacks against me are surrounded by venom, anger and annoyance. Thus it is Challenge Fuel. This just fuels me and my responses cause you to think you are getting to me, you are not, those reactions are designed, an instinctive response by my narcissism, to make you think you are getting somewhere, to make you give me more fuel and to allow me to assert my superiority over you as that must always be done.

Your desire for revenge is premature. You must reduce your emotional thinking through a robust no contact, you must build your Logic Defences and allow them to gain a foothold and then bring that reduced emotional thinking under control. This takes time, many months, to achieve.

Yet once done, with that emotional thinking at a far lower level and with logic prevailing, any remaining desire to destroy (and often it has now faded with the diminution of emotional thinking) means that it will be deployed from a distance, with cool, hard calculation and if you do so in accordance with the steps set out in my work Revenge then you will avoid being ensnared, you will avoid messing up the revenge campaign and you are far, far more likely to meet with success.

But if you fail to heed these wise words and think you know better. If you think you are ready now to effect revenge, with ill-preparation and rampant emotional thinking then please do seek it.

You will not get it.

9 thoughts on “The Desire to Destroy the Narcissist

  1. Joa says:

    Hate NO.
    Destruction NO.

    There were only a few moments … Moments of despair … When my child was in the hospital and I was very afraid for her life… When I was torturing myself with thoughts of how we were to survive without money… When she wanted so much to meet him and I explained to her, that I could not contact him, because I do not know where he is, I do not know where he lives and I do not have a telephone number, and she replied with such beautiful childlike power, faith and energy: “So call all the phones in the world !”…

    Yes, in those moments when her harm was so evident, I hated him.

    He couldn’t hurt me, by aim at me. And it still isn’t. This is black fun for me. But he struck a blow to the very heart, throwing our daughter away like air. I can still feel that inner howl as soon as I think about it. As if he had brushed dust off his clothes…

    As she laughed at me with beaming eyes, my heart was filled with happiness and darkness. The more luck, the more darkness. Always together. Every beautiful moment, paid for with huge pain.

    It’s better now. When he wanted to meet her now, she told me: “I don’t want to anymore. I just don’t feel the need.”
    The only time they spoke, she told him: “Maybe someday. Just give me more time.”
    She rejected him.

    It hurts so much 🙁 Aaaaaaa, it’s tearing my chest with this pain. I guess it will never end 🙁 They should be so close. They should be… One doesn’t know the other. I thrash between one love and another.

    I know you can’t. But I don’t agree with that. I’ll never accept it. Why?! Why?! Why???


    Now, sometimes I feel angry. And to show him that his “light” path was the wrong choice. It will turn out at the end… Or maybe nothing will turn out. It doesn’t really matter. Nothing is more important than HER… Even HIM 🙁

  2. Asp Emp says:

    Last night I dreamt of one of the higher-ups at work. She was trying to assert her control over me, over some work. Yet what I dreamt was that I got one over her by doing the task my way because her way was not effective. I wondered about that this morning. The way I view it, is that my subconscious mind is now reflecting what my conscious mind ‘knows’. I see that as a good thing.

    Maybe, mentally (and emotionally), I am ‘destroying’ the narcissist within my subconscious.

    1. A Victor says:

      Sometimes this helps me, to “best” them in some way, even if it doesn’t hurt them because they are unaware of me doing so. If this is a form, my form, of ‘destroying’ them, that would make sense, since many of my behaviors went underground, outside of their detection, when I was involved with them in some way. Still is so with you-know-who upstairs.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        TTU ‘knows’ you and probably does the ‘ignoring’ of your behaviours when you are applying them because that is what her narcissism is doing. She may have noticed some changes in you since you started learning about narcissism but ignores unless, most likely, will try applying one of the assertions of control when her narcissism ‘deems’ it necessary to do so……I think what you say works when it is narcissists that know you less (giggling at the memory of that Lesser at the garage… taking this piss!) 🙂

        1. A Victor says:

          Asp Emp, your comment made me feel very controlled!!! Hahaha, by TTU!! Now, to find another way around her control…😂

          Actually, I find it humorous how they think they are in control! Haha, and so do I!! Must be my narcissistic trait of “Control” coming out! 🤣🤣

          “Lesser at the garage… taking this piss!” Hahahaha!! Thank you!

          1. Asp Emp says:

            AV, I know HG has stated many times that you do not do anything to piss a narcissist off. Well, I am not going to stand there a ‘permit’ that Lesser at the garage assert his control over me, fk that. It is how you manage the ET and I did, I was calm and ‘switched on’. There are many ways we can ‘404’ them.

            The more we are empowered with the knowledge we are gaining, the more we understand ourselves, the more we maintain our ET levels, it becomes easier to (whispering……control the narcissist, but they don’t know what they are, which makes it even more enjoyable 😉 ). I knew exactly what I was doing with that Lesser at the garage…….giggling. My car passed it’s MOT too LOL.

  3. leelasfuelstinks says:

    There is no reason to destroy a narcissist. They have been already destroyed long time ago, when they were young children. I do not hate narcissists because it´s not their fault. But I stay away from narcissists, because they destroy us Empaths.

  4. Nadia says:

    Unfortunately for my narc, as clever as he may be (not as clever as he thinks) he is absolutely not on my level and I shall have my revenge. It’s part way through, although he doesn’t know it yet. Tables turned. The player has played the player and it may be years before he realised. I can’t wait.

    1. Asp Emp says:

      Nadia, ah, now, you have piqued my interest with your comment……

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