The Haunted Chamber
Your heart has its haunted chamber,
Where the silent treatment falls,
On the floor are stalking footsteps,
Malicious whispers along the walls.
Though your perfect love is manifold,
This chamber will still persist,
Its lingering hurt and sadness,
Is decreed to always exist.
No matter how you shine and smile,
‘Tis a place of frigid cold,
That now no love, no joy, no care
Can relinquish its endless hold.
Your heart these times is haunted,
By phantoms of our past,
So insidious is the infection
It seems it will always last.
A form sits by your window,
Always in your corner eye,
Waiting and watching all night long
Yet never answering why.
I sit there in the moonlight,
Hatred etched across my face,
And point a blaming finger,
To avoid my own disgrace.
I haunt your heart and memory,
My poison flows yet still,
To remind you of your treachery,
And to scold you for causing me ill.
Each lonely darkened midnight,
You will hear my accusing wail,
The bitter and twisted arguments,
Still remain beyond the pale.
This phantom’s baleful glare,
Seems to absorb and drain your will,
The remembering of torment,
Places in your heart sick chill.
My haunting clouds your remembrance,
All else becomes thin air,
The shadows form and twist now,
So you always see me there.
The knock upon your window pane,
Wrenches your thought from me,
A relentless drumming announcement,
From the gloomy darkened tree.
There stands our oak, rain-slicked, boughs bent,
A place that was sanctuary,
We climbed it often together,
To imagine being free.
Yet now near lifeless monument,
It serves only to torment,
The greying bark and sorest wounds,
Form the night’s empty lament.
I know you look there still each night,
I know you see me there,
The haunting of your aching heart
Ne’er relieved by earnest prayer.
Your chained and weighted pensive guilt,
Is naught to my own hell,
But yours is bound in silence,
Since you can never tell.
Beneath the oaken branches,
Is the grave of that little child,
Who fell from grace so violently,
And never wept nor smiled.
So your heart remains an empty chamber,
Where my hatred will reside,
And evermore I will punish you,
For what you have always denied.
What once shone bright and golden,
Is dulled and tarnished deep,
And the memory of your failings,
Will steal away your sleep.
I blamed her then so I blame you now,
It all must wither and turn bad,
Since I have no hope but to see you
As the parent I never had.
32 thoughts on “The Haunted Chamber”
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This is fitting, once my heart came back and I was aware of it again.
I remember the first time I heard this. I was sitting at my desk as I am now, this time reading yet “hearing” your voice HG speaking life into this piece. Remembering every detail of how my “gifts” were triggered 4 yrs ago.
I love this one 🙂
Unfortunately, me too…
AV, how do you understand the last 4 lines?
I have a problem with that. Too much thoughts…
Hi Joa,
I take it that his mother failed him so his narcissism puts the blame on her and uses that blame to justify placing that disappointment on every woman that’s in his life as an IPPS, possibly also IPSS’s and IPTS’s, from that point forward.
AV
AV,
This is analysed to great extend in the KHGforum. What I can say here, is that it is not written as in 1 singular perspective. Maybe that helps. It shifts and addresses different people.
Ah, thank you Z, I had wondered about that. I will try to get to the forum again soon to check out.
May I ask about the KHGforum? I’m pretty new here (just discovered HG’s YouTube this past December), and my attempt to Google it just now only turned up the Klingon Honour Guard, a hacker collective in Kosova, and, of all things, a website that makes graphics for Stormfront. I take it for granted that none of those are correct, for obvious reasons. ;P
Hi Poison, so sorry to just see your inquiry now. I am not as familiar with the KHG forum as others but I can tell you that if you go to the Knowledge Vault and purchase the KHG series, in there you are given a way to access the forum. The KHG series is about HG specifically, his life, what influenced his narcissism as a child etc. It is very interesting but for myself, though I own the entire series in both forms, it is so heartbreaking that I have not gone too deep. There are others here who are very intrigued and work diligently to discover more, that is the content in the KHG forum.
Z,
That’s the way I understand it, too. HG is referring to himself as the child buried under the oak tree, his mother as the parent who failed him and hurt him to the extreme of changing him forever and because he blames his mother for the way he is, he also blames every IPPS for what happened to him as a child. It makes me sad reading it and hearing HG read it. I feel so bad for that little child, who HG once was. 💔
Ahhh, I know that. I wrote – the last 4, because they are complete after the full stop. I understand the first two of them, and the last two not 🙂
Thank you AV, I called you here by surprise. It wasn’t planned 🙂
It’s interesting, that I made a mistake the second time AV-Asp Emp (back then), although I “see” you differently.
No problem Joa, I was enjoying this poem anyway and now, because I came, I learned more about it! 😃
I am curious how you “see” me. I see you as beautiful and exotic and not hurried about life, much like my second daughter. And with a coral dress with tropical flowers on it, I never know why these images appear, they just do. I hope you like floral.
Joa, how I perceive the last 4 lines – the ‘blame’ is the “reason” why I cannot allow anyone to get close, or why the relationship ‘failed’ because of what I was “taught” by my mother. It was her fault back ‘then’ and now it is your fault. I had hoped that you would give me what I needed (love, nurturing, care, compassion, understanding, support) with no “conditions” (ie ‘transactional / contract’) applied.
Because of the addition to narcissism, we attract narcissists / people who do not have the emotional empathy that we unconsciously seek. We may subconsciously (sometimes, consciously) ‘blame’ the other person and / or ourselves for the ‘failure’. We may subconsciously ‘seek’ characteristics that a parent may have had in (ie mother, or father) in a partner. We are subconsciously seeking to ‘replace’ what we never received when we were a child – what we needed. The (haunting) of the ‘pain’ is ‘harboured’ until someone who does understand comes along OR the understanding within yourself occurs.
You may perceive it differently because your experiences are different to mine, and different to those of the author of this piece of writing.
Aaaaaa, Asp Emp, you too focused on the first 2 lines.
I still don’t understand what I don’t understand 🙂
How it pisses me off.
Okay, maybe it will dawn on me later.
—————–
How much time did I spend figuring out one sentence N2… Sometimes the answer came after hours, days, weeks, months, even years.
I code, what I don’t understand and the understanding of the “motive” comes out later in response to some event, words…
I have it!!! 🙂
I have written out all possible Polish meanings of each individual English word in these two lines.
And I puted these puzzles! What a relief! I can safely go on 🙂
The completely pointless – this time – automatic google translation was to blame.
Joa, I understand what you mean. I liked your words “automatic google translation was to blame” 🙂
Asp Emp was supposed to be of course.
The second time a mistake, a reprimand, sit down! 🙂
Hahaha, no problem Joa! No reprimand either! 😂
Joa, write “Asp Emp was supposed to be of course” another 99 times and then I may let you off the naughty step 😉 😉
“Asp Emp was supposed to be of course” another 99 times
Pffff 😊
98 more time 😉
Haha, very clever!
And evermore I will punish you
For what you have always denied.
Those are the two lines that stick out for me. I think we’re supposed to view that as the empath being punished for being unable to be the never ending source of fuel / Prime Aims.
The empath in me though, instantly substitutes ‘forgiveness’ as the something that is always denied. The narcissist won’t feel guilt for any wrongdoing. They won’t accept accountability for any wrongdoing, intentional or accidental. They would recognise blame being placed on them for a wrong doing. They blameshift themselves, so I assume that if the blaming persisted then they might recognise that forgiveness was lacking.
Forgiveness for repeated poor behaviour equates to unconditional love. We associate that mostly with parental love. To look at a partner as the parent they never had would suggest an expectation of unconditional love from that partner.
Similarly, to feel the need to be forgiven might also equate to an unconscious admission of partial culpability.
Me, too, AspEmp <3
What’s with the new avi? Mean anything?
Hi BC30 🙂 Missed seeing you around.
The avi is an image of a ship called HMS Endeavour which I mentions in another comment here a few days ago. I like to change them up to keep things interesting 😉
I see you do the same, and I’m drawn by the different shades of green in this image which (from a distance) has an almost Japanese flavour to it. I need my magnifying glass!
BC30,
I think LET has built herself a gun ship to sail through The Emotional Sea. The narcs are in canoes, getting turned over in her wake. 😁
Loving that thought, TS <3
Ha ha ha! 😊 😊 😊
Ahhhahahahahah TS6157 🤣
LET,
Good. I’m glad. 😘
BC30,
It feels like ages since we spoke. How are you getting on?