This demonstrates the mind set of a Middle Mid Ranger who would write in such terms or speak to the victim in this manner. It is a speech that could be said by any subdivision of Mid Ranger but most likely coming from the Middle Mid Ranger (A or B) because of its penchant for pity play, false martyrdom and magical thinking.
The sections in bold and italics are the unconscious reality of what is happening, compared with the conscious belief of the narcissist. Remember, his conscious belief is his actual belief and owing to the blinding effect of the narcissism this Middle Mid Ranger does not recognise that these words are empty, that certain events never happened, that various forms of manipulation are being used (those forms of manipulation being instinctive).
I also explain some of the empathic traits which these instinctive comments will be playing to, aided and abetted, of course, by the soaring emotional thinking of the victim who is being conned into believing these words and ignoring the repeated red flags which are being flown here.
What position would a recipient of such a speech hold in the narcissist’s fuel matrix? The recipient would be the Candidate Intimate Partner Secondary Source meaning that the narcissist instinctively senses this person could be crowned as the Intimate Partner Primary Source . There may be other competitors but they are Shelf IPSS and the recipient of this speech is the front runner. It is likely that there is an IPPS who is in devaluation and will shortly be disengaged from, should this speech succeed and the seduction win over this Candidate.
I have always adored you. It is true. You did not realise it. How could you? I kept my adoration confined to something distant and something remote, always living in hope that one day I would be able to pour my adoration all over you.
(Infatuation. Martyrdom. Feeds into the Love Devotee empathic trait of the victim with regard to the concept of unrequited love, a love burning away unnoticed.)
How long has this condition lasted for? I would suggest over ten years.
(It has not lasted for over ten years. This is Magical Thinking, the Revision of History and Grandiosity. The narcissism however causes, in that moment, the narcissist to truly believe that this adoration has been in place for ten years.)
Yes, that long. It was when you first joined the company. We worked in separate departments but I saw you arrive one day and from that moment I felt this adoration for you.
(The narcissist never noticed the victim at first because he was in a golden period with somebody else, but it sounds more impressive to suggest such recognition so early on because this accords with the Love Devotee Trait of love at first sight.
It was strong and powerful and flowed from deep inside of me. I knew in an instant what it was and I just knew that I had to provide it to you.
(Grandiosity and Martyrdom).
I had no idea when that opportunity might arise, when I might be in a position to furnish you with this potent and unending adoration. You did not know this but I managed to copy your photograph off the company website and I would lie on my bed or sit in a chair and stare at your picture wondering when I would be able to provide you with what you deserve.
(This never happened. Revision of History combined with Grandiosity. Again the Love Devotee Trait is being milked by such a seemingly ‘sweet’ action. Logic of course would cause the victim to (a) question whether this actually happened ; and (b) if it did, find it rather creepy.)
I contemplated listening to you lying beside me and whispering my name, the sensation of your hand in mine, the delight in sharing experiences.
(Magical Thinking and exhibition of the Sense of Entitlement as the narcissist is already picture the relationship having formed, demonstrating the latent sense of ownership of the victim).
This adoration has remained, churning and growing inside of me. I have sustained it and nurtured it for all this time.
(Grandiosity and Revision of History. The adoration sprang up recently as the necessity of replacing the currently devalued IPPS became more pressing.)
That surely shows just how powerful it is and just how special you are to me. Yes, I know you had no idea. How could you? I kept it to myself as I wanted to save it all for you.
(Martyrdom. Feeding off the Love Devotee Trait with regard to the power of love.)
Of course there have been others during those ten years but they were just practice for when I would be able to provide that adoration for you.
(It would stretch credibility to suggest the narcissist has remained single for such a period of time (A Lower Mid Range might suggest such a thing) instead, the need for the narcissist to demonstrate that he is a catch so there have been other partners remains HOWEVER this is explained away. This is a Benign Triangulation.)
I was fond of those supposedly significant others but let’s not you nor I delude ourselves; they came nowhere close to evoking the adoration that I have for you.
(They actually did back then, but Revision of History arising out of the exes being painted black.)
I was not surprised. I understood that from the instant I laid eyes on you that you were the one.
(Revision of History. Magical Thinking.)
I could not make my move though until I had tested myself. You see, I had been let down so many times before. I thought I knew and understood what true adoration was. I had been deceived by imposters and found that they promised much yet delivered so little. I did not doubt you but I had to be sure.
(Martyrdom. Pity Play. Benign Triangulation. Exes Painted As Black).
Accordingly, I kept my distance, adoring you from afar and pushing my resistance. Each day that passed where I denied myself the chance to give you my adoration was another day where I tested whether that adoration would remain intact and it was.
(Martyrdom. Magical Thinking. Revision of History. Placing victim on pedestal – you are totally worth all of this effort and pain and therefore you ought to feel very special).
I came through the test. I asked many questions of myself and I found that I was not wanting. This time was the reality. This was true and honest adoration, nothing more and nothing less. I realised as the months became years that the longer I waited the surer I would become and moreover, like a grand whisky maturing, the longer I waited then the more powerful this adoration would be.
(Revision of History. Magical Thinking. Feeding off the empathic traits of Honesty and Decency by showing the victim that they did not rush in (when of course the narcissist has actually rushed in).
I understood that to allow this adoration to grow and build, to test it, to determine whether it had any boundaries and shortcomings would ultimately mean that I would be able to dispense adoration like nobody else could ever do so. I could give you what you deserved and in return you would provide me with what I wanted and needed.
(Magical Thinking. Martyrdom. Idealisation of victim.)
This may seem strange but there almost came a point when I thought that perhaps I would never provide this adoration for you.
I wondered and considered whether I would be better served by keeping it within myself.
Locking my adoration away as I always wondered whether it would come undone after another day of waiting and testing, but then I realised that since I adored you so, I could no longer keep this adoration hidden. What person would I be if I did not provide you with the very thing which you deserved?
I would be failing both you and I. Thus, that is why I made my move. There was nothing distinct which triggered this need to make my approach and provide you with this adoration. There was no catalyst other than the realisation that the time had come.
(Martyrdom. Further, the catalyst was of course the need to replace the current IPPS who is in devaluation although the narcissist does not realise that this is what is driving the behaviour.)
There was nothing more to be gained in keeping this adoration confined to myself. I had to release it and lay it on you. I had to pour it over you, spilling over you and coating you. I needed to provide this most perfect adoration and allow you to bask in it, delight in and know that this is what I will also provide to you.
(Grandiosity. Latent exhibition of ownership and the victim being an extension of the narcissist).
How can that now be the case? I have waited so long to give this to you that there can be no outcome other than this permanent state of adoration which will allow us to become one and preserve that state of affairs forever.
(Assimilation of the victim into the narcissist demonstrating the fact that the victim is an extension of the narcissist. Feeds of the empathic trait of Love Devotee once again.)
Ten years may seem like a long time but it is but a blink of the eye when compared to the infinite adoration I will give you and that shall keep us together.
We shall not crumble, we shall not fall. I promise you this.
(Grandiosity. This promise is of course caveated, conditional, flexible and when necessary will be revoked and removed as if it never existed because such a promise was made to a different victim last month and another the month before that and another the same last year.)