Knowing the Narcissist : Lies
You breathe. I lie. Both come to us naturally. To you, an empathic and caring person who is imbued with the traits of decency, honesty and integrity the act of lying is anathema to you. Even the use of a little white lie as it spills from your lips has you feeling uneasy. You conduct yourself in a way that involves avoiding lying and you would rather stay silent than let an untruth escape your mouth.
Not only will you not lie, you detest being lied to. The lie shatters trust. Trust is a fundamental ingredient, in your world, to any relationship, whether it is between spouses, colleagues, parent and child or service provider. Without trust nothing would be achieved and the world would be a darker place. Breaching that trust is a terrible act and where your trust has been broken by the issuing of a lie then you react with horror, anger, upset and dismay.
I can think of no better device for drawing an emotional reaction from your kind than the issuing of a lie. Those three letters create a small word but one which has all manner of repercussions. From the lies that accompany infidelity which strikes at the core of the relationship, to the lies told by those in power to remain a demagogue and achieve political expediency, the effect of not telling the truth is substantial and enormous. Lying results in damage.
Lie to your friends and you lose their respect, lie in a court and you commit perjury, lie about your circumstances and you commit fraud, lie to your children and you begin to warp their world, lie to your other half and you destroy a part of them. A small word which packs a thermonuclear punch. So easy to say, so simple to use and the effects can be devastating.
No wonder my kind and me relish its use. Economical and effective, no other tool comes close to the power of telling lies and this is why we use them repeatedly, often and extensively.
The advantage of their use is by telling you a Long Involved Explanation we lead you up the garden path and around the houses causing you to become confused and bewildered. The advantage to us is that the terrible truth of what we do becomes Lost In Explaining what we have done by use of our convoluted and twisted diatribes.
We tell untruths from the moment that we seduce you as we detail to you our Lovely Ideas Embellished with falsehood about how we will achieve a promotion in under six months, climb Mount Everest and interior design our new impressive home. The fact is that we are fantasists who exaggerate our achievements and our plans so that the Lucid Ideas Expand beyond reality.
The use of lies assists us in evading the finger of blame. You will try and catch us our but there is never a Lapse In Exposition as we weave an ever more complex web in which we wish to ensnare you, leaving us untarnished. You look on in astonishment as Laughing I’m Escaping accountability yet again. No matter what I have done, no matter how heinous the activity I will allow untruths to spill from my lips with consummate ease so that I remain in control, superior and blame-free.
Often it will be a short and bare-faced lie, designed to have you speechless with incredulity as I walk away Laughing Inside Energetically at your shocked face. On other occasions, I will engage in the shaggy dog story, going round and round, adding more and more to the tale so that I Lovingly Insinuate Eventually that you are the one to blame and this makes you react all the more. How can we have the audacity to say such things and turn the blame onto you?
Look It’s Easy, we have no sense of remorse or guilt for the things that we say. You are burdened with a conscience and a moral compass that causes you to steer a path so you always stick to the road of truth. We have no such compass. We do not have a conscience and this allows us to weave and twist, taking our explanations into the realms of the fantastic. Whether we are boasting and bragging about what we are or seeking to escape culpability we will lie incessantly. You will plead with me to tell the truth. You will promise that there will be no upshot, no comeback and no consequence you just, for once want to hear us speak the truth. You know the truth but you want me to tell you, so you can hear it for once.
Like I’m Ever going to do that. Why should I give you something that you want? Why should I cede control to you ? Most of all, why should I give up the opportunity of gathering fuel from you? This is why we lie extensively, even when the truth might actually serve us better (better when judged from your viewpoint of course – not ours) we will gain fuel. Our twisted lies always cause you to react and provide us with fuel. If a situation is Lacking In Emotion we know that all it takes is for us to tell you a lie, the bolder the better, the more brazen and ridiculous it is the greater your reaction will be because you hate lies and you hate being lied to.
As you stand before me frustrated and upset, I am Laughing I’m Escaping yet again any responsibility for my actions. I will smother you in untruths, layer lie upon lie, Literally It’s Engulfing you in falsehood so that you no longer even recognise the truth, such is the level of distortion. We lie to everyone.
The man in the corner shop about how many goals we scored at football, lies at work to cover our backs and to plunge knives into the backs of others. Lies to a friend about how much we like him just to keep the Little Idiot Entertained. Repeatedly we will lie to you to ensure you remain Locked In Entanglement with us and cannot escape. We use lies to express our false sorrow, our faux remorse and our promises to change just so you will not Leave In Earnest.
We show-off with lies in a crowd to bring the spotlight back on to us as we talk over other people because we Like Interrupting Everyone. The lie is a Limitless Invigorating Example of what we really are. A fraudster, a charlatan, a con-man and a pathological liar. We know no other way and we have no desire to embrace any other way. I will always lie, I am Loving It Everyday because it furthers my schemes, underpins my ambitions, avoids accountability and brings me fuel again and again.
I am always telling lies.
And that’s the only truth.
4 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : Lies”
Those of us who followed the Murdaugh trial (at least in part) will likely be astounded by his capacity to lie. The body language experts highlight the tells that he’s being deceptive but without their interpretations it looks convincing. There’s the body cam footage immediately after the murders (where he’s just murdered his own child and wife) and he’s so together he can lie and act as if he’s just found them. I’m assuming he’s a greater and a psychopath as he had a fairly significant network and a lot of power but he was losing control of it all in the period leading up to that day.
HG’s words in an older thread “They have different masks for different people that they interact with”
Yes, I noticed this with the MRN, he’d “behave” differently when alone with me and in front of other people. I did mention it to him. I have talked about that on here. It is not the only narcissist that I can “refer” to (look back without invoking my ET 🙂 ) and see it more clearly.
Having said that, nearly everyone does it to a degree. Work, social, intimate, public. The normals are probably the type to be able to do this without it coming across as ‘crossing’ over each part of their lives ie separate it without any ‘hidden’ aspects to it. The narcissists may, or may not, “put” on a mask (facade), depending on the school / cadre because sometimes they do not have a ‘boundary’ (sense of entitlement) ie maternal narcissist “permitted” her facade to drop in public on occasion.
I may suggest that some empaths may not be aware because of their upbringing by observing what they “learned” from their narcissist peers, so it may come across that the unaware empath has no ‘boundary’ either, just because they have not been taught what is considered appropriate, or not ie considered as “normal” societal interaction / communication. Other mitigating factors may need to be considered whether present ie neurodiversities / co-morbidities.
I’m lying. Every day and a lot. But you won’t want to believe it.
My smile and my eyes are a lie. As long as you believe – I’m not lying. As long as we believe – I will not die and you won’t die.
The truth is death. True?
We do lie. Until we don’t anymore.