Knowing the Narcissist : The Creature
6 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : The Creature”
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Mortification releases the creature. Some believe if the narcissist has an incident where everything is lost, this results in mortification.
The break down of the fake persona and defences leading to great shame.
Being confronted by the shame, guilt and being jolted out of the bubble can allow the narcissist to “Wake up”
See how it really is.
It is normally an incredibly great loss that can lead to mortification and is incredibly rare indeed.
The picture of the creature on this part of the blog shows a fear of the creature. Like it is some kind of undead entity. That it must be held in the cage.
Is this creature really that bad?
What would happen if mortification occured?
The destruction of the fake persona
The rise of the real one inside
But the fear that reality may lead to destruction or is a weakness makes the belief that creature is bad when in fact it maybe good.
But fear of the unknown kicks in. The defence mechanism kicks in to prevent this.
The fact that the creature is held within, is sign enough that mortification maybe actually a way to break down the fake persona. The question is, is this ethical?
Mortification does not.
HG, Thanks for the reply. I was always curious as to whether mortification was able to do this.
But a child who is not loved becomes the creature, a broken child filled with pain, shame, guilt, yearning, bewilderment, frustration, anguish, anxiety, anger, emptiness, longing… and the defense was to create a man who could get it. Love is but not limited to nurturing care, respect, kindness, compassion, faith, validation, attention , nurture ( fuel), and to control this supply at all costs ( as desperate to hold on to it as that’s the man’s function, his job and origin) and also to get other benefits like but not limited to food, shelter, a dry diaper and play. ( residual benefits). The man never had love as it’s a form or defense or a form of being of the broken child like a tree to an acorn …one grows from the acorn. The child had no love or not enough ( theory of borderline is “not enough”, a failed narcissist , one that fears abandonment a lot in anxious manner or as HG would say it really doesn’t matter, a narc). When the man fails to hunt and gather, the broken child is left exposed. Mortification. The reason you can’t change them is the broken child can’t be reborn and the man is just an extension of the broken child, his shield. Unless science can reset early experiences, nothing will change. It starts with a “dead mother.” It’s why there are so few narcs in society as most mothers are living, normal or empathetic. It explains why narcs prefer empaths. They are better mothers. The narc needs the mother he never had. But the narc never developed empathy because he doesn’t have or know love. So he fakes it to get what he wants what he never had… a mothers love. Why does the man, the extension of the creature fear or resist or cage the broken child, as if exposed you only have a broken child, a being who can’t survive.
I think in my case my mother is normal but a WASP cold by nature, reserved but was “ good enough” or she’s a narc. But my fathers family is over run by empaths and I have zero doubt he was one, like me, oozing it with his kindness and nonjudgemental, giving, value oriented, absolute faith and giving, giving nature. It has always been confusing. One parent so “ practical and smart”, the other just a man Uber mother, I was Daddy’s girl. His closest mirror image and pride and joy. Every childhood picture from birth on is his attention and love of me. In adult lives we spoke everyday. He died of cancer at 64 and I miss him a lot. I have a good but distant relationship with my mom, I lived 3000-6000 miles from her since 17. My father got divorced after 35 years of marriage as she cheated and he moved 1/2 mile from me. We remained close as he did with everyone in his life. He gave love nonstop without condition. A Vietnam vet, an engineer, a musician/artist, a sportsman, a dog lover, a patriot but most of all a parent. A good one. My mother was very critical of my dad growing up… money, not being a disciplinarian, drink etc… they fought and I would leave to nature and dogs and religion and books and music and movies and especially imagination …but outside the family. Often literally… outside until I had to come in. I wonder if that what makes a contagion. Why we need nature so much. The love of animals. The synthesis with the natural world where beauty and peace and solace and the thrum of all things is known. The known and unknown. Or could it be that we are rarer and made from interlopers…. Fathers, or others so strong in empathy that our mothers lacking does not exist and this creates a weird look at relations. Or? Only HG knows! Do tell! I also was very young in turning to spirit and religion. Could that be? I had a sign with Jesus at 12. Made me an absolute believer. Could that be? I always had odd lucid dreams. I was classified gifted at 5 by the school board but my mother did not want me separated from others or sent to another school. Could this be? I am so curious. Can’t wait!
What does it look like when a narc meets the creature?. Some say mortification does it. You disagree. I do too. I think it’s low fuel and high stress like the narc loses a relationship and has no or little fuel source left. But what does it look like:
Catatonic?
Fall in bed for days in depression?
Walk around town screaming his head off?
Psychosis?
Dissociation?
Suicide?
Murder?
I think mine did last year, he became extremely paranoid and deluded and vocally spoke of harming police. He got put under mental watch and placed in a shelter with social workers. But he seemed to lose all touch with reality, spoke of suicide as well. He was borderline psychotic if not psychotic ( I am not a psychologist). He was panicked, agitated, spoke of his childhood, fearful he would have a heart attack, spoke of harm to self and others. His eyes showed goat eyes, no one home while his actions were frenetic, reckless, disoriented. His paranoia was not based at all in reality. He spoke of wanting to go to jail. He told police things that were not reality or something he would ever do but caused them alarm enough to bring in the health officials. They called me and I gave facts and filled them in as they could not decipher what happened to lead to a meltdown. It was a fight with his biological mother over an orange that lead to a mutual verbal assault, threats, screaming and minor pushing and shoving on both sides but neighbors called and he was to be removed. He completely had a meltdown. No fuels Everyone ran ( or two friends) and mum wanted him gone. He had no fuel source unless you count new doctors and police. He seemed to lose all touch with reality. To me, this must be when a narc meets the creature or one example.
Am I right?
But they regroup right? Once they get new fuel, back to square one?
I hope so. I wish no one harm.
His broken child would surface but he used to be an employed international business man with great artistic achievements. He appeared happy and confident when I first met him but he spiraled down to this. Sad. But maybe he springs back to his old narc self.