Knowing the Psychopath : The Beauty of Detachment



One of the major advantages of my psychopathy is my detachment from human beings. It underpins so much of what I am, what I achieve and of course how I see the world. There will be some of you who will admire this detachment, likely wish you could adopt it for yourselves, others will be repulsed by it and thankful you can attach and willingly do so. Whatever your view might be, it is fundamental for you to understand this perspective to enable you to gain the necessary insight into my world.


When we think of navigating through life, we imagine the immense human capacity for empathy as a vital compass. However, for individuals with no emotional empathy, our perception of the world is vastly different. Understanding how we with  complete emotional detachment perceive the world can shed light on our thoughts, decision-making, and interactions with others.

In the realm of the psychopath with no emotional empathy, those of us  with the higher executive function,it is rationality that is the dominant lens through which we see the world. Every situation is analyzed and evaluated with objective reasoning, unaffected by emotional attachments and biases. Emotions are mere abstractions, and we perceive them as superfluous to our understanding of reality. We perceive emotions in others as tools to manipulate or irrational hurdles faced by those who cannot think logically.

For someone with no emotional empathy, relationships are practical endeavors founded on mutual benefits rather than emotional bonds. Our interactions with others revolve around logic, adaptability, and personal gain. We are skilled at observing social cues and mimic emotional responses to avoid arousing suspicion or to attain certain goals. We understand that emotions can be exploited by playing the role of a concerned friend, loyal partner, or supportive colleague without experiencing these emotions genuinely.

With emotional detachment comes a heightened ability to manipulate those around us. As  individuals lacking emotional empathy we view emotions as vulnerabilities to exploit. We can effortlessly analyze the emotional responses of others, identifying weaknesses and using them to our advantage. Many individuals with complete emotional detachment find themselves in professions like law, management, or politics due to their ability to dispassionately manipulate individuals and systems for our personal gain.

While moral values are part of social structures, we perceive morality as a futile concept. Without any emotional mechanisms to process moral dilemmas, ethical considerations become intellectual constructs rather than deeply ingrained feelings. Our kind often, albeit not always  adhere to societal norms and moral codes to avoid social consequences rather than from a genuine concern for others.

Some of our kind with a lower cognitive function  may struggle to understand the concept of affection, experiencing it as an abstraction or social obligation. Feelings of love, care, and compassion are foreign concepts however to us all, making it impossible for us to establish genuine connections. We might mimic affection based on external cues, using socially acceptable behaviors to fulfill societal expectations while never truly experiencing the underlying sentiments.

Living a life devoid of emotional empathy may in the mind of others create an inherent sense of isolation. As they cannot comprehend or share the joys, sorrows, and intimate connections that emotions facilitate, those that look on us believe that the world can seem hollow and distant, but that is the projection of those who are not us. Their own feelings in relation to such a scenario becomes how they believe we are, even though it is not the case. Often our victims wish that this is what we experience, a form of revenge for dragging them into our world in the first instance.

Our kind  who experience  this lack of empathy may face challenges in understanding and relating to others. To navigate through these challenges, we often employ coping mechanisms such as rationalizing emotions as illogical or obscure constructs. By reframing feelings as unnecessary elements of human existence, we create a cognitive buffer that can help us adapt and manage our relationships with minimal personal intensity. The degree of success by which this is done very much depends on the relative executive function of the individual concerned.


All of this enables us to move through the world unaffected by its emotions and the hindering impact of feelings. We are detached and this is where its beauty works for us. Not for you, but you are not of us. It is clean, straight forward, minimal and beautiful in its simplicity. Whilst I understand those of you who regard such a way of being as abhorrent and frightening, it is what we are and it provides us with the means of being. To us, this detachment is a beautiful thing.


59 thoughts on “Knowing the Psychopath : The Beauty of Detachment

  1. WiserNow says:

    One thing that seems to be driving detachment between people even faster is the growing tendency of things being digitalised and electronic. Many things like appointments, contracts, applications, orders, checking in, paying for goods, etc are done online or electronically with little or no human interaction.

    If you need to speak to someone because you have questions or require something that is not standard, you are treated as though you are a luddite by someone who left high school a year ago. Either that, or you get the impression that you are wasting someone’s precious time or making a big dent in the productivity of the business.

    If you happen to smile and attempt a conversation, you are sometimes met with a stare as though you’re talking to an alien.

    I wonder what things will be like in another ten or 20 years when the next generation are people who learned how to download an app before they learned how to say ‘Mummy’ and ‘Daddy’.

    1. WiserNow says:

      Now that I re-read it, my comment sounds very negative and critical. Just to be clear, I am not always such a cranky sourpuss. I need to work on reducing this tendency.

      Having said that, I do find that digitalised and electronic processes are irritating sometimes.

      Thank you for your patience, HG. Thank you also for another thought-provoking post about psychopathy. You really are amazing with regard to your prodigious output.

  2. ANM says:

    HG, how do narcissist feel when someone points this out to them? For example, obviously in a co-parenting situation. With my daughter, she will mention how her father is disconnected emotionally, doesn’t show affection, and doesn’t like to hug people. Her father knows that he is a narcissist, and knows that I know that he is. I have avoided telling her that he is a narcissist, however, when she tells me about his emotional detachment, I tell her that he is like that way with every single person he knows, that’s just who he is. Its not really talking bad about him, just being matter of fact, so that she doesn’t take it personally. So far, I have not heard any push back from narcissist regarding me telling my daughter this. This doesn’t seem like a touchy subject for narcissist to face, or even family members occasionally discussing it. Or am I wrong here?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Your handling of the situation is to be commended.

      The narcissist may not be addressing the threat to control directly towards you and instead addresses it indirectly or through withdrawal hence giving the appearance of it not being touchy for him.

  3. Bubbles says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    This is an excellent read in understanding your kind. I think it’s difficult for our type to fully understand as we are generally overflowing with emotions. The amount of times I’ve read here comments feeling sorry for you and for not feeling our emotions. I think to some, it’s incomprehensible and that’s understandable, however, in the long term it is very detrimental for us.

    One of the components I’ve had to work on is detachment. It’s not easy for us, I have to work extra hard at it. “Switching off” from overthinking, again hard work. Mr Bubbles has always been able to “switch off”, however, health issues prevail and is now unable to do so. I’ve always envied that ability in him. As you said, emotions cloud logical thinking.

    We most definitely need your kind in this crazy mixed up world for levelling, stability, practical, logical and rational purposes.

    For us, you have detailed it superbly. I thank you but also wish I had a smidge of you have.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I am pleased you found it interesting and insightful.

  4. WiserNow says:

    I often prefer being alone too. I can also understand the ‘beauty’ of detachment in a way. The way I experience it is a blissful feeling of peace. There is a stillness that feels serene. When this sensation occurs, I can feel it in the atmosphere surrounding me and the air feels calm, warm and supportive. It affects me physically and all tension melts away.

    When this happens, I feel detached from people and any concerns I have that involve people. I still have empathy and emotions though; this sensation of peace is like taking a break from the empathy and emotions.

    I don’t necessarily take a break because I don’t want to witness the idiocy of people. It feels more like a release from a constant need to navigate through situations that feel like burdens. I think that higher emotional reactivity is like being highly strung or wired on a constant basis. It’s normal to have a sense of being on high alert and noticing every detail. To shut this off for a while and be completely detached feels blissful.

    What interests me is why the detachment in HG’s psychopathy leads to boredom and a need to inflict pain on others.

  5. Asp Emp says:

    “There will be some of you who will admire this detachment, likely wish you could adopt it for yourselves” – I recall some time ago stating that I would have liked to have a facility of being able to turn my emotions off, simply because of the ability to experience emotional pain. This was during the time of struggling to get my logical thinking to take hold, as I had to reach into the ‘pit’ of where the trauma had not been touched to the depth that I needed to. Some people just cannot reach their own ‘abyss’ as it is too painful for them to do so. Others can’t because that ‘switch’ was flicked off for good.

    I can understand to a degree about the lack of something that other people may not lack. It is just akin to my lacking hearing and I cannot imagine how I would be able to deal with the sudden ‘flick’ of not being deaf in my world. The influx and cacophony of sounds coming in from all directions would just be intolerable. I think.

    “we often employ coping mechanisms such as rationalizing emotions as illogical or obscure constructs” – yes, I’ve seen this “coping mechanism” in action, it seemed to arise when ie the Lesser was ‘stumped’ in how to ‘respond’ just because he was not able to put himself into my shoes at that moment. Either it was responded with an ignition of fury, or, a flippant remark, to project / deflect his ‘struggle’ to comprehend (whichever assertion of control was “appropriate”, selected by his narcissism).

    “this detachment is a beautiful thing” – in my perception, about myself, I’d agree, the freedom of not being ‘attached’ to emotional / mental burdens of the past. The memories may still be in ‘files’ within my mind but not necessarily ‘part’ of me (whereas for many years, they more or less ‘determined’, or, ‘defined’ me).

    Thank you, HG, good to read this article. Interesting.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Thank you, HG x

  6. In so many words says:

    HG, do you think society gets an inaccurate view of psychopaths, because psychopaths are generally studied in the prison population and they are the ones with lower cognitive function? If we studied normals only in the prison population, I think we would get an inaccurate view.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      There is force in what you have stated.

      1. Anna says:

        Indeed it is
        The clever ones don’t get caught, they can mimic better and control themselves more.

        1. In so many words says:

          And they often find options other than crime for amusing themselves and gaining power, often in prosocial ways.

    2. Anna Plyance says:

      In the prison population (of normals) people with lower cognitive function are indeed heavily overrepresented, so you would get corresponding results (see “The Bell Curve” for data, but I would not recommend reading it to anyone who wants to preserve a rosy view of humanity’s direction of travel).

    3. Contagious says:

      Psychopaths don’t adhere to rules, laws, norms but they do fear getting caught. They are goal oriented only without a conscious. Flat like pancakes. Linear like the horizon. The prisons are filled with those that got caught. There are innocents among them too but mostly anti socials. Removed from society without any chance of redemption but cognitive behavioral therapy that teaches them that their goals have consequences. Why it’s best to follow laws. I don’t know if it succeeds ? The world has organized crime heads, CEOs ( 1 out of 3 I read), political leaders like Putin, and others who run rampant with success until they don’t like Hitler. There is a check and balances system but it is skewed as psychopaths do financially well. The Sound of Freedom emphasizes this as child trafficking is about the most evil soulless route to take and if the film is correct it amassed billions! Yes many get caught. Go to jail. But it persists. It is a never ending cycle. I wonder HG and I think the answer is yes that even psychopaths have a code where harming children is looked down upon. What prisoners do to these types suggest yes. There is no empathy so I wonder what drives this “ value.”?

  7. In so many words says:

    Psychopathy seems like a definite advantage in certain professions (surgeon, fighter pilot, spy), not only for the individual, but for society that benefits from the psychopath’s work. HG, do you think it is an advantage in your profession for us as a society, as well as for you personally?

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Dani says:

        Mr. Tudor–
        1. Do certain kinds of empaths do well working in your profession?
        Thank you so much for your time. Much appreciated.

        1. HG Tudor says:


          1. Dani says:

            Thank you, Sir.

    2. Anna says:

      Some professions often do psych tests first. I know some companies prefer workers with Aspergers for example.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Anna, some of the interview / application process “handles” some of the “psych” tests.

        Yes, some employers do appreciate having those on the autism spectrum as employees due to their ability to focus, pick out finer details (that may be missed by those not on the autism spectrum), sometimes having a latent talent within the ie field of accounting etc.

        I am, however, unaware of any employers specifically stating as such “those with Aspergers preferred”.

      2. Leela_Z says:

        There are companies who prefer psychopaths. Some companies want candidates for open positions to fill out the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. They preferably hire psychopaths.

        1. Contagious says:

          Leela as a lawyer I doubt this. If they openly publicized a demand for psychopaths they would get sued and sued and sued and no longer exist. What country does this? Not the litigious USA. It would be a feeding fest for lawyers!

          1. Leela_Z says:

            REALLY! NO JOKE! I read this! I don´t know which country does this but there are always ways to break the law somehow. Our government is breaking the law every day and big multi-national companies are breaking the law zillion times per day!!! They always find a way to bribe, to talk themselves out or just do it quitely. But I REALLY HONESTLY read this that there are companies who let candidates fill out the Hare Psychopathy checklist!! Psychopaths very welcome.

          2. Contagious says:

            Leela: I agree laws are broken but to openly advertise and hire psychopaths and something went wrong , there would be liability. It’s like a trucking company advertising for those with a DUI. Trial lawyers would get rich. I believe you read an article and somewhere they do this but I can tell you any company in the USA would regret doing it. Psychopaths are not looked upon favorably by the masses although TV, film, books focus on the sadist ones. HG has not broken psychopaths down by cadres but I would expect, arsonists, sexual sadists, pedophiles etc… would be a cadre different than a money without conscious CEO or politician or dictator. Harm is harm but most people don’t have a favorable opinion. Imagine a car was defectively made but the plaintiff attorney uncovered an ad recruiting psychopaths and one worked on manufacturing. Whether the psychopath was instrumental in causing the defect, the jury would be counting up how many millions in punitive damages to award.

    3. Anna says:

      I wonder if that is where the saying comes from, for the doctors without empathy

      “A bad bedside manner”

  8. Leela_Z says:

    Sometimes this detachment can be good and maybe some of us even experience it, not for long, but at least in certain situations and in certain moments. I can get totally detached when other people are in trouble, hurt, under enormous stress or devastated. I experience this complete detachment, because I have to very quickly evaluate, what´s the problem and what can or even must be done about it! No time for emotions, but time to ACT quickly! No time for comforting words, I don´t have any and I really suck at that, but time to find a solution and solve the problem quickly! Yeah well, guess my cadre! 🤣😉

    1. A Victor says:

      Hi Leela,
      I have been detached my entire life, even hung on loosely to my kids. Having experienced loneliness in the last few months an those two occasions, I am first glad to recognize it as such and also it tells me I am wanting to attach! It’s very exciting! But yes, in these situations, as you mention, helpful to be detached quite often. Also, Super Nova brings detachment, for me anyway. Hope you are well!

      1. Anna says:

        Leela and A Victor.

        Emotional numbing and detachment often happen when you are a sufferer of PTSD. Also as you said the Super Nova
        I also long to feel again. I remember what it was like. It seems so long ago now.
        Trauma is the biggest killer.

        1. A Victor says:

          Hi Anna,
          Yes, I’ve been looking at C-PTSD for a while, it has been helping me to understand about it, just to realize, “this stems from that, okay”, and move on.

          I also remember feeling emotions prior to stuffing, or disconnecting from, them, I was very young. It was scary, terrifying really, when they started coming back, or I started reconnecting to them, whichever it actually is. It has become much less scary over time, I’ve learned I can handle them, they won’t crush me. But that fear at first was real and strong.

          Thank you for your comment, it was encouraging to me. For a while I didn’t think I was “normal” at all, as Empaths go, but I now know there are some of us who responded to our situations this way, it’s not so far out there. For me it has been nice to know I’m not alone in it.

          1. Anna says:

            You are not alone A Victor. I am glad we found this blog and all the information from HG. It also enabled us to find others like ourselves to talk to.

          2. A Victor says:

            I am glad too Anna!

        2. Leela_Z says:

          In my case it´s just a temporary phenomenon, when it is required to stay calm, rational and apply “cold hard logic” as H.G. always says. I detach when focus and action are required. For example when someone is in trouble and needs help or when a difficult problem has to be solved or in a situation when other people are under enormous stress! Then I completely switch off! I detach and FULLY FOCUS on the problem itself and how it can be solved. It´s just a kind of full focus, when nothing else matters but solving the problem and delivering help and assistance. I automatically detach because action is required, not emotions! I must focus on the right actions. Something like this,

      2. Leela_Z says:

        Hello AV! Nice to hear from you. Yeah, I´m fine: alive and well! Indeed: The Supernova goes with absolute detachment. I even thought: “Oh my goodness, all my emotions are completely gone” 😮 But that can be a good thing, especially in stressful situations. While others freak out, you stay calm, emotionless and apply “cold hard logic” as H.G. always says. Just had such a situation at work today and guess what: I immediately thought about what can be done about it, how to solve the problem, calmed down the poor customer, told him that it´s not a big deal to solve the problem, quickly delivered concepts and ideas and told him my “typical Carrier-phrase”: “Don´t worry, I can manage”. 🤣 Oh boy, H.G. is SO accurate. I´m such a TEXTBOOK CARRIER! 🤣🤣

        1. A Victor says:

          Yes you are Leela! I remember you giving other examples of you carrier showing also! Out of curiosity, you did not experience this stuffing of feelings, like I wrote to Anna about, right? I wonder if my doing so is attributable to my majority savior instead. I feel like a carrier would definitely stay more connected to their emotions, to efficiently get things done. But, I could be entirely wrong. The Super Nova, you described it well! And it was automatic, I didn’t control it, it just happened. Complete neutrality. I didn’t hate it either, it was a nice break from all the previous crap. Glad to hear you’re well!

          1. Leela_Z says:

            I think I MUST be totally detached to get the things done! Or I get the things done BECAUSE I´m completely detached. I´m detached and extremely focused on getting the problem(s) solved and the things done. Customers turn to me when things are messed up (not by me 🤣). And then it goes like: “Okay, what´s the problem?”, “What happened?” “Alright, how much time do I have to get things done?” –> then I plan how I get things done and WHAT can be done. Then I offer my concepts, ideas and suggestions. It goes like a robot! No emotions! If it´s necessary to comfort the customer, I do it with cognitive empathy ONLY! No time for emotions! Not the right time! Just GET IT DONE! Like a robot! 😂

          2. A Victor says:

            That is so interesting. I am detached at work also, maybe 4 times in 4 years I have become emotionally stressed by a situation. My boss is very understanding and will go to bat for us if he needs to. But yes, largely just business and professionalism is necessary. When I’m done at the end of the day, except if I have a special project, work goes away, out of mind. I am gladb it sounds similar for you also. Maybe I’m in variety mode when I’m working? There is no need for savior then? Take care Leela! 😃

        2. Contagious says:

          Leela I admire your detachment but I have never had that experience. I feel everything. I am standard contagian with some very minor cadres 1% or so thrown in which I think arises on the occasion. I don’t detach. In fact others needs replay in my mind and my dreams or my own. What I do is reorient. I mainly go to nature, the beach or a garden, or surround myself with love, positivity or beauty. I can be a soldier and soldier through like with a trial or a negotiation. I am an attorney. I am aware of everything and feel everything and understand what’s going on but not with a cut off or a detachment but to soldier through despite the pain, stress, conflict. I am not certain this is a detachment. I never let go of anyone they remain in my heart if I loved them but I might not contact them. I set boundaries to protect myself or a code to live by but I must admit it does not cut out memories , feelings or thoughts. I can wish things were different but resign myself that they won’t be unless God deems it so. Anyway I don’t emotionally detach completely from anything or anyone. I retreat, regroup and brave another day. Does that make sense? Even physical pain is something I grin and bear. It does not stop me but I take care of myself. I have a very high tolerance for it. I had an accident last month in the kitchen and suffered second and maybe even third degree burns. It was agony but I still did not drop the ball. I don’t see your detachment as the same but maybe it is? I don’t know…

          1. Leela_Z says:

            I understand. No, my detachment is absolutely not the same. I´m a Super Carrier. I really completely switch off! NO emotions at all. But in my case it´s not a bad thing, I feels a bit “psychopathic” and it may indeed be a bit “psychopathic”, but for a good cause! It´s done to help, to sort problems out, to make things right, do what has to be done! It´s “action without emotions” – something like this. The focus is fully on reality, rationality and logic and of course on the acts that have to be carried out to solve the problem! It´s all about the: DO S OMETHING about it! (Hope that makes sense?)

  9. Joa says:

    If only you could really keep the distance, you write about so beautifully (yes, beautifully!) instead of standing at my door all the time. What? Are you here again?

    I’m sorry, I had to. It’s defense.


    The worst thing is, that for me this is the image of a real man. It was imprinted in me and will NEVER change.

    If I still decide, the choice is obvious. It depends on many circumstances.

  10. Tom says:

    Surely this detachment results in an emptiness even loneliness ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The emptiness of course is part of the psychopathy but it is not problematic. Loneliness is experienced by those who want to attach and cannot, those who seek intimacy and closeness but are unable to achieve it, therefore since we do not seek it there can be no loneliness. I often prefer being alone, it means I do not have to witness the idiocy of people and put up with their banal ramblings.

      1. Leela_Z says:

        Sometimes, I can 100 % relate to that (but of course not all the time).

      2. Witch says:


        “Banal ramblings”

        I actually feel the same way a lot of the time… sometimes I don’t understand why people want to talk when they have nothing to talk about but they still want to talk about anything even when it’s pointless. I think it’s okay just to be with someone but sit in silence while you do other things. For me that’s still bonding. Having someone present but we don’t need to fill the silence by talking about why we ate rice instead of pasta today.
        I’ve been told it’s rude apparently to go to other people’s houses and put headphones in to listen to a knowing the narcissist video instead of talking to people 🤣

        1. Bubbles says:

          Dearest Witch,
          “I’ve been told it’s rude apparently to go to other people’s houses and put headphones on to listen to a knowing the narcissist video instead of talking to people”
          Love it !!! Thank you !!

          1. Witch says:


            If we are going to talk, I want to hear drama, I want to hear the deep dark gritty shit that’s gone down, I want to hear that someone got boxed or someone cried, tell me something! otherwise I’m going to want to watch a knowing the narcissist video, because you’re not giving me anything 😭

          2. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Witch,
            I totally get it!
            One of Mr Bubble’s brothers usually visits for 2 hours at a time and does nothing but complain and is soooo negative each and every visit
            I want to put my headphones tooo ……eeeekkkk help !!!!

        2. WiserNow says:


          Your comment makes me curious. Why didn’t you stay home in your own house and listen to the KTN video instead?

          1. Witch says:


            Because I visited, conversation was dead/boring, I was zoning out, so I wanted to pursue my special interest. I wasn’t the only one there, so I didn’t really need to be involved constantly but that’s my perspective as someone who tends to socialise differently.
            Other people consider it anti-social (they mean a-social) and rude for not listening to every single thing they have to say… I think that perspective is a bit mad but there you go

          2. WiserNow says:

            Thank you for explaining, Witch.

            It made me smile when I read, “..that’s my perspective as someone who tends to socialise differently.”

            HG has to take some responsibility, I think, for making his videos addictive 🙂

            I can see the situation from both sides. If the conversation was boring and you were zoning out, it’s difficult to fake an interest if you really aren’t interested. I can relate to being a little asocial as well. At the same time, I can also see how you wearing headphones while visiting can be seen as rude, unless it’s a party or something where people are doing their own thing.

            If it was me, I probably would have given a reason to leave early and then looked forward to listening to HG’s video in peace.

          3. Witch says:


            In honesty I don’t really understand all of these social rules and why they apply to some people and not others. I’ve noticed women allow their male partners to be asocial and leave the room to watch football or control the tv with whatever they are interested in even when they have guests. It’s okay, because it’s socially acceptable for men to be that way. I don’t understand why some people are put under a microscope more than others

          4. WiserNow says:

            Hmm… interesting points, Witch.

            I don’t think social rules apply to some people while not applying to others. It depends on context. If a man put headphones on during a social visit in order to listen to something else, that could be considered rude in the same way it would if a woman did it.

            A lot depends on context, I think. For example, is it a short visit or a long one? Is it only for a few hours or to have dinner? Is it a party with a larger number of people? Is it a longer visit over a weekend or a few days? Who are the people you are visiting and what is their relationship to you? What are the usual customs or habits for these people when socialising? What is the expected etiquette? How well do you know these people? What is the nature of the visit? Is it a formal kind of meeting or a casual get-together?

            These and other questions. When thinking about these questions, it sounds like there are stringent ‘rules’. However, in my opinion, it’s not a case of having ‘rules’ in place that need to be set out and followed in a strictly disciplined or rehearsed way. Instead, it’s about what ‘feels’ appropriate under the circumstances as well as a sense of how the people in the group will respond or react to what is said or done.

          5. Witch says:


            I agree with you in part but at the same time I find women tend to enforce these bollocky rules on other women. And judge other women for not living up to it.
            If a man makes it clear he would rather watch football than be involved in the party, that’s normal. Men like football, it’s okay for them to prefer it over and above other people.
            That’s their interest. It’s fine.
            If I said I’m leaving because I would rather go and watch a knowing the narcissist video then talk to all of you because that’s more important to ME. That would be a problem, it’s not socially or culturally acceptable for women to prioritise their interests over and above other peoples need for validation. The female is anti social, then people start saying shit like “I don’t think she likes us” all the insecurities start coming out. It’s weird! Women even notice at work if you want to sit by yourself and take is personally, like it means you hate them or something. Or if you’re quiet? I’m quiet because I’m doing the job I’m getting paid to do, if I’m talking to you all day, it’s fraud, I’m taking a pay check for doing nothing. Like relax!
            Maybe that’s just my emotional thinking, I dunno but I honestly think it’s THEIR emotional thinking

          6. WiserNow says:


            You have a point, I agree. I’m not sure that the kinds of stereotypical attitudes you’re describing relate to women only, but I know what you mean about being in a group of women who start assuming things.

            I can relate to being at work and being quiet and then people assuming that meant I was unfriendly or unsociable or ‘quiet’. No, I just had a lot of detailed work to focus on and stopping to gossip about what so-and-so said or did, or talk about the program on TV last night, was a disruption. There were times when I made a conscious effort to talk to people and start a conversation, but the people who had already made their minds up about me being unfriendly or unsociable or whatever, were then unfriendly and unsociable to me ha ha. How ironic!

            I think that once people have an impression about you, it’s hard to change their minds. You can spend years being ‘nice’ and it won’t make much of a change to their initial impression. I include myself in this as well.

            Yes, I agree, emotional thinking can exist in a number of ways. It can be difficult to strike a balance.

      3. Anna says:

        Well said.

      4. A Victor says:

        Oh that is so interesting, and of course, makes complete sense. I have felt loneliness for the first time in my life only in the last few months, twice! I’m going take this as a win, a major one! Thank you HG!

      5. Truthseeker6157 says:

        I can understand the detachment. I don’t see it as entirely positive or entirely negative. I can relate to the fact that it makes decision making far simpler. Social interactions would really amount to ‘required action’ with nothing behind it. No emotional investment, just action which results in an outcome. I can understand that part.

        Where this falls down for me is when we look at other emotional responses that are said to be experienced by psychopaths. For example, hate. It’s a negative emotion, but in order to hate I think there needs first to be some form of attachment. If the psychopath is entirely detached, then there isn’t enough interest in other people to generate a feeling of hate towards them. People, their beliefs and opinions would be entirely irrelevant in the first place, hate wouldn’t factor in as a response to irrelevance. Irritation or annoyance would be plausible, but hate?

        Perhaps there is a sensation of hatred for certain psychopaths in response to childhood abuse or LOCE. An anger at the world in general where a ball of hatred is directed outwards and it damages people who happen to get in the way of it. To know a person and then later hate that person seems unlikely though when there is only detachment. If hate and fury are experienced it seems far more likely that these intensely negative emotions are linked to narcissism rather than psychopathy. Surely, detachment would limit the scope and depth of negative emotions as well as cancelling or dampening down the positive.

        So I understand the detachment element, but it raises further questions for me as regards emotions that are experienced.

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