Knowing the Narcissist : The One and Only



I really do think the world of you, you know. I have not met anybody like you. No don’t shake your head. I know you are modest but you should accept a compliment when it is given, heaven knows you deserve it. I have to admit I have had a few relationships, but you know, we have all been there haven’t we? I used to think I knew what love was. I used to think that the person I was with was what I wanted, the answer to my prayers and that special someone.

All of that was not the case. In fact, it is quite apparent to me that they were really just practice runs to allow me to perfect my love in readiness for your arrival. I know it may seem strange but I feel like that I have always known you and moreover that somehow that I always knew we would be together. I used to tell myself in previous relationships that this was it, this was the one, but something would go wrong. I guess I was not a very good judge of characters back then. I kept picking the wrong ones. Goodness me I could tell you some tales.

I have hooked up with some real fruit loops in my time. I seem to attract them. I think it is because when I want to be with someone I give my absolute all to that person. I see no point in holding back, do you? It has to be everything or it is worth nothing. I can see you nodding, I thought you would agree. You and I are on the same wave length. I can sense it. I have an aptitude for it. A sixth sense. I have to admit I have not always been blessed with it and it has taken some time to fine tune it, I guess that is why I had to go through the rollercoaster ride with some of my exs.

Still, although they did not treat me well, no it is okay, you don’t need to know about all of that. I want to talk about you and me, that is far more important. Yes, they did not treat me well at all but that’s for another story I do not want to spoil tonight talking about their jealous rages and violent tempers. Thank goodness you are not like that. No it is fine you do not have to persuade me of that being the case. I know you are not like them. I can tell you are a far better person. Do you know how I know? It is in the way that you move.

Yes, it is. You move with a grace I have not seen before. That tells me that you are self-assured but not in a flamboyant manner. You know who you are and you move around with a grace and a presence which brings reassurance. I will let you into a little secret. Before I spoke to you I used to watch you. Not in a stalker kind of way, more as in an interested observer kind of way. I saw how people reacted to you, with warmth and delight whenever you spoke to them and I thought to myself when I saw how their faces lit up and how their eyes widened in pleasure that you were probably the kind of person who spends more time looking after other people than you do spend looking after yourself. I am right aren’t I?

It is not good trying to hide and look at the floor I can see I am right. I usually am about people. It is something of a gift but one I am now able to use to avoid the people who would hurt me and believe me there have been a few of them and instead find someone who will respect and love me in the same way that I will love and respect them.

It is all about finding that mutuality isn’t it? I bet you and I have much in common. Well, I know from our last date we share similar tastes in music and travel destinations and that just proves my point. I should imagine that if we discussed politics, although I don’t intend to tonight, there will be plenty of time to do that in the future, we would have similar views.

You see that I have been able to work out, after all the mishaps and the people that have let me down, who is right for me and who I am right for. I am a straight-forward kind of fellow. I will put you on a pedestal and worship you, yes I will, because somebody like you, someone so special and caring deserves that.

Oh I know you modern independent ladies are all about equality and believe me I am one hundred percent behind that but I do know that once upon a time you used to pretend to be a princess and that never leaves you. How do I know that? I have a sister you see and I saw how she played and made-up games based around being a fairy or a princess, good characters who wanted that happy ever after. I know it has never left her and so by the same token I know that someone like you, a good and decent and honest people still has that desire to be treated properly and every once in a while reminded of that fact.

I can tell by your smile that you agree with me and I am glad of that because I know how well I will treat you. I have much to give to you and you deserve to be treated right. You see, I sense, like me you have been hurt in the past. I can see it in your eyes. You are hoping that nothing spoils what we have because it is showing such promise isn’t it? Yes, I thought you would agree.

I can tell by the slightly guarded manner you have, but don’t be concerned, that is no bad thing given the way that some people behave, but I am not like them. You have no need to be concerned about me. I will only ever look after you and have your best interests at heart. That is why you and I have been brought together, two people who just want to love and be loved. It is not much to ask is it? That is why when I first met you I realised that you are the one.

You rise from your chair to go to the bathroom and I sit back in my chair and smile. I can say that speech backwards now and it works every time.

One thought on “Knowing the Narcissist : The One and Only

  1. poetloui says:

    Spot on.

    I can hear distant recounts of very similar conversations.

    In my experience, it’s often the case that the person who wants to use this fake flattery & “destiny” bs will find someone who is somewhat emotionally vulnerable.

    People from ‘broken homes,” or a newly single person for example; maybe after a bad split or bereavement.
    People who ‘believe’ in “love at first sight”….all ideal candidates.
    (Disney has a LOT to answer for in my opinion in terms of building up false narratives amongst children about “love”)

    If a predator is trolling online for prospective targets, well then they really don’t have to look far at all before they find someone who proudly displays all the weaknesses that the hunter could hope for.
    A quick bit of flattery is usually sufficient to gain access to messaging and the targeted love bombing, affirmations and manipulations begin.
    Soon, they’ve become enmeshed with most aspects of your life. If online social media is involved (Often is) they have access to so much personal information and history.
    With a little search or two, they can easily identify somebody’s etrigger points & areas of least resistance.

    Growing up I believed that people said what they meant, I certainly did, and I applied the same logic initially to others.
    It was a hard learned, but vital lesson, to recognise that MANY people are happy to lie with absolute conviction..

    The only true measure i feel of people’s intentions and actions (and our subsequent faith in them) comes often with the passing of time and our reflection on events.
    As the song goes..
    “You can’t hurry love,
    No you just have to wait.
    Just trust in the good times
    No matter how long it takes.”

    And if someone wants to rush you, then they do not love you.
    Love should mean that they want what’s best for YOU, not them.
    Even if it means accepting the opposite of their own ‘wants.’

    Love is a word thrown about with ease today.
    Real love is energy that is unconditional.
    If someone has ever experienced genuine love, it will never leave them.

    In a world ( in the west) with so many single parent families (my own included, ) & so little religious faith in general, there is, it seems, a deficit in the accumulation of lessons in unconditional love.
    This allows the ‘actors of love’ to take their pick from the lonely & primed masses, who are crying out for attention and affection.

    Thank you for reading my thoughts on this.
    Hoping this finds all well today, take care

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