Do You See What I See?

One of the common themes in my sessions with Dr E and Dr O is their need (note not mine) to have me be aware of what I am. Of course I know what I am. I have always known I was different, special, superior and set apart. I was told as such too, actually it was beaten into me but that is for another time.  As ever, I gave them the impression that I was co-operating so I went along with their questioning. After all, they are asking about me so it is at least worth considering. Initially this was all about how I regarded myself. I enjoyed this part and I could have gone on for some time. They reported back to me that I consider myself as more intelligent than most people, that I am more amusing, I am more likeable and more successful. I am also more physically attractive than most people. So far, so obvious. They then also established that I am obsessed with power (who isn’t if they have any drive and ambition – you don’t become President by sitting there do you?). I am also impulsive. I agree. I am arrogant (I call it confidence but what’s in a word?) and I like to exaggerate my success and abilities. I explained I emphasise my success and abilities which may comes across as exaggerated (purely because many people never get that close to such success), but by explaining that to some people is necessary to get people to do what I want.

Things got interesting after that. The perfidious duo had been asking questions of others about how they perceived me. I was fascinated as they told me that the  respondent s´perceptions of me were accurate with regard to what I thought about myself. How about that for getting it right?  I was rather pleased. Dr O asked,

“Some of those traits could be viewed in a negative light. That is how other people see you. Does that not concern you that they view in a negative manner,” I was asked by Dr O.

I shook my head.

“You label it as negative. I regard those traits as strengths and it is clear that other people do as thy have clearly identified them with me.”

She raised her eyebrows (recently plucked I noticed) and remarked,

“What if I told you that those people do regard those traits as negative?”

I felt the sensation of irritation rising at such a comment. Only the envious would regard such traits as negative. There is nothing wrong with having an excellent conceit of oneself and one which is entirely justified and grounded in evidence. Just ask those I have vanquished and they would tell you. Well, the ones who are still able to speak would tell you.

“If they do then that is envy for you. Or I suppose they are too stupid to recognise the brilliance of what I do.,” I explained.

“Okay, but what if I was to tell you that those people are intelligent and they answered honestly and consistently?” she pressed.

I considered providing a response to this, a detailed explanation of how intelligence does not equate to an ability to understand, that honesty is often mistaken and consistency is a matter of perspective. I considered providing Dr O with such a forensic response but as my quickened mind formed the thoughts and sought to breathe life into them through articulation I stopped myself. No. I am not giving them the information that readily, to do so would be to offer up too much to them, too soon and deny me the entertainment of the good doctor finding this out through application. Let us test them. Let us make them earn their inflated payment. Come on good doctor, you are going to have to do much better than that. No, the detailed reply would be denied to them and instead I would offer them something they will have doubtless encountered many times and would be familiar to them.