20 Cries of the Victim
We do not think of ourselves as victims, to do so would be weak and we are not weak. You are. We are better than you. We do however feel put upon, hard done by and persecuted and it is you that does these things in order to victimise us.
Evidencing our legendary double standards, we do not consider ourselves as victims as this does not accord with our sense of superiority, but we like to portray a victim mentality because doing so serves our purposes.
There are many things that we say which evidence this mentality and when you hear them you should know that we are looking for you to respond. We want reassurance, praise, an admission of fault from you, confirmation that we are brilliant, an apology and for you to do what we want you to do.
Playing the victim card allows us to gain fuel from sympathy and compassion, assistance when we do not want to do something, absolution from responsibility and preventing you from doing something we do not want you to do.
Here are twenty cries of apparent victimhood.
You make my life so difficult.
Why are you treating me like this?
You never try to understand me,
What about me?
What am I going to do now?
How’s that supposed to make me feel?
You are meant to look after me.
It’s not my fault.
I can’t help the way I am.
Why must you be so difficult with me over this?
You never listen to me.
You always make it about you, never about me.
You never do what I want.
You don’t love me like you should.
You never do what I want.
You never let me speak.
You always treat me like a fool.
You are the reason for all of my problems.
You are trying to ruin my life.
Why do you do this to me?
Watch out for these comments from our kind because they are the foreshadowing of further manipulation of you.
29 thoughts on “20 Cries of the Victim”
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Reading this article is a good reminder why I should not communicate with toxic people. These are basic translations of longer whining sessions I used to subject myself to when I contacted the toxic person from my life. I don’t know if others have experienced this…but hearing these phrases enough turns them into inner monologue of self hoovers.
Mr. Tudor, I have a difficult time imagining you using these phrases with your IPPS. Are you less likely than other narcs to pull out these phrases? In the stories you share…you aren’t using these…like with your IPPS who liked horror movies…you could have used one of these phrases…but you didn’t to my recollection. You maintained “the high ground” in a sense by withdrawing and going alone to a movie after bringing home a pamphlet about purchasing a car.
Often these articles are from the perspective of Mid Range and/or Lesser Narcissists and are not my perspective. I avoid stating as such to avoid the individual being taken out of the moment.
Thank you so much for your tume! Much appreciated.
You’ve indicated that you have “stock phrases.” You will send the same text to competing prospects.
1. Do you have a list of manipulative phrases that you carry loaded and ready to fire at unsuspecting people? If so, would you share some?
Predominantly, these are “guilt/shaming” phrases…I would think that’s highly effective against the empathic victim.
2. How do greaters and the Ultra cause the self blame cycle in more sophisticated ways?
You’ve said, Magnet Super, Contagion/Martyr are your top four choices of classification.
3. How do you personally tailor phrases for maximum impact? Is it trial/error or is it information gathering/instinct or are there other factors at play?
Thank you for your time. Much appreciated.
1. Some have been shared through my work already.
2. Exploitation of your vulnerabilities, encouragement of self-analysis, utilisation of the innate self-flagellation of the empath.
3. Use the person against themselves.
🤨
Thank you, sir.
1. How do you handle greaters if they try these tactics, “Exploitation of your vulnerabilities, encouragement of self-analysis” on you?
It is impossible to exploit vulnerabilities when they do not exist.
Mr. Tudor,
If a greater tried (and failed) to exploit vulnerabilities in you, would it stimulate you? Your advice for the empath is to settle in for a bumpy rude when a greater is displeased with them…how do you handle them, given your shark-like nature?
Thank you for everything.
There are no vulnerabilities to exploit.
Thinking you have no vulnerabilities is one big vulnerability.
I do not think it. I know it. That is your perspective, it is my reality.
“There are no vulnerabilities to exploit.”
I have a question please HG.
I’m trying to place this statement within your perspective as a narcissistic psychopath. When you state this, do you mean that there are no vulnerabilities to exploit because the control you assert over your environment and the appliances within it ensures that any potential vulnerabilities would be negated?
It is because there are no vulnerabilities that exist that can be exploited.
Thank you, sir.
Are all self aware narcissistic psychopaths absent exploitable vulnerabilities? Or have you targeted them?
Some will have them, some will not, it depends on their circumstances.
HG I have noted a vulnerability, you said when you sleep, you go into a dead sleep and it’s like you’re dead; so that would be the perfect time to kill…or at least draw a penis on your face…
I guess I’m painted black now
Like I am dead, not dead. Nobody who would find themselves admitted to my bedroom (and allowed to remain there) would seek to kill me. I would awake before the first testicle has been completed and then you would very much regret your invasion of my personal space.
Thank you, Mr. Tudor. Much appreciated.
1. Do you have an approximate age at which you felt all exploitable vulnerabilities were gone? Is there a particular experience linked to this realization? (A three year old is vulnerable in ways a sixteen year old young man isn’t. Similarly, most teenagers are vulnerable in ways a 25 year old isn’t.)
Thank you so much for your time. Much appreciated.
No.
“There are no vulnerabilities that exist that can be exploited.”
I considered this further. Traits and behaviours are neither positive nor negative. It’s how we view the traits that is important. I could view my own traits as strengths or weaknesses depending on context and lived experience. My view of my traits therefore isn’t factual, it’s subjective, traits are just traits.
The narcissist draws the external world into himself. The psychopath pushes himself outwards into the external world and dominates it. If one dominates the world and gets their retaliation in first, then there are no vulnerabilities that exist that can be exploited.
It’s similar to expectation. My expectation contains a ‘provided that’ caveat. Psychopathic expectation comes without a caveat.
Vulnerabilities are a question of perspective linked to self concept.
Final answer. Perspective.
Well stated.
Are we crossing into manifesting now? You can dress it up with perspective all you want, after a certain point the realities do not bow to your fancy.
TS
Great point about perspective when it comes to what are deemed vulnerabilities. It is imperative that they believe they do not have any while we may believe they do. Neither is right nor wrong.
Hi Anna,
I do see what you mean in terms of manifesting. I learned recently that the human brain is predictive. I’m probably not going to explain this too well but essentially, the brain predicts an outcome and then takes subconscious steps to realise that outcome. In this way there is a kind of comfort in the fact that the prediction (good or bad) is correct. I suppose it’s a little like optimism versus pessimism. If I’m pessimistic then I expect things to go wrong, optimistic I anticipate they will go well. I set my stall out to fail or to succeed.
Similarly, let’s say I fail. If I was pessimistic then it was expected. If I am optimistic I might view the failure as a temporary setback, a trial and error approach, this didn’t work so I can remove that particular approach off the desk, which means I’m actually closer to success than I was to start with. I’ll try that next and keep going until I do find the approach that yields the desired result.
The perspective is linked to the expectation of success. Success will come, just a matter of time, so I keep going. The keeping going aspect is where people fall by the wayside I think, fearing they’ll never get there. I don’t think psychopaths even consider that, it doesn’t factor in to their self view.
It’s a perspective that we can learn from in some ways. I do think it’s similar to manifesting but with a concrete plan of how to reach the desired objective. No deviations just a dogged continuation in pursuit of the objective.
I don’t subscribe to the whole manifesting thing. I think a valid concept has been taken out of context and exaggerated to the point where it no longer holds any meaning. I do however think that there are aspects of a psychopathic perspective that can be better understood and implemented so that non psychopaths could gain some benefit. Logical thinking would be a good example.
Hi NA,
Thank you. I like to apply the same thinking to empaths. Traits that make us vulnerable to the narcissist are simply traits. In other contexts those very same traits are strengths, so again it falls to a question of perspective.
Hi Truthseeker,
yes, those are very good points.
I was thinking about it in this way:
Say there are two people, one is extremely tall and the other is quite short.
The tall one will have better reach and will be able to see further, but he might take a little longer to get down, he will have a harder time squeezing into small spaces and will be easier to spot for other people.
The short one may be very nimble and will be able to pass under an open cupboard door without hitting his head, but he will have a very hard time becoming a basketball pro.
If they recognise that their size is a vulnerability, they can use different tools to compensate, they will succeed in reducing it considerably.
If they do not accept that they have any vulnerabilities in the first place and do not adjust in their daily life, they will remain particularly vulnerable. But whether they accept it or not, they will always have those vulnerabilities, they cannot change the physical reality, i.e. their basic size from one day to the next.
The tall one can say that he has no vulnerabilities as much as he likes, if he ignores his size he will end up whacking his head against that tree branch or door frame.
Vulnerabilities are there whether you close your eyes to them or not. But closing your eyes by refusing to acknowledge your vulnerabilities makes it a lot easier for your opponent to exploit them. And in Witch’s example, no matter what HG would do to the person drawing on his sleeping face after, he still ends up cleaning paint off his face.
Hi Anna,
I know what you mean and that would be my perspective on it also. I can verbalise my strengths and weaknesses, so I would attempt to mitigate my weaknesses and capitalise on my strengths. We both sit within the majority perspective.
The psychopathic perspective is just framed differently. Vulnerabilities don’t exist in the host. Traits, behavioural tendencies are just that. All will be harnessed and used to advantage.
I can see the perspective without subscribing to it myself.
In many ways for me, the ideal would be to take elements of the psychopathic perspective and add it to my own, nudging me in the direction of a greater self belief. I’m a confident person, but I’m not confident across the board. That would be a positive change for me personally!
I heard on a podcast recently that the key to happiness is to be “certifiably self forgiving.” I don’t subscribe to the ‘pursuit of happiness’ concept but I know what the individual was driving at. ‘Certifiably self forgiving’ is something you could link to the narcissistic perspective, so I think for us it isn’t a case of switching perspectives fully, or rating one as superior to the other, just a recognition that there are elements of these perspectives which if we incorporated them to a degree, could prove beneficial.
Hi Dani,
Its so nice to see you questioning again! I love seeing Mr. Tudor’s responses!
I think our empathic traits of justice and compassion often stand in the way of us seeing the victim mentality clearly. Once we do learn to see it though, it becomes blindingly obvious.