The Victim. I know there are those who do not like that word. They regard it as stigmatising and a hindrance to recovery. One understands such an approach, but nevertheless it is the appropriate word for those who have encountered our kind in the narcissistic dynamic. What does victim mean? ‘a person harmed, injured, or […]

  The devaluation. People often regard this as one complete stage that follows the glorious seduction of the golden period. It is in fact made up of two parts. First comes the stranger period. It is so called because to you it seems like you are dealing with somebody completely different to the person that […]

  I seduced you. There is no doubt that this happened. I was the protagonist and I brought you under my spell. But let us go a little further back. I chose you. I identified you as a prospect and then undertook my investigative work to determine that you had what I was looking for […]

If you have watched The Tinder Swindler on Netflix or read about him in the press, you will be well acquainted with at least three of his victims who were defrauded by him. How did he manage to con them? What was it about him that enabled him to do so successfully? Was there anything about […]

  We do not think of ourselves as victims, to do so would be weak and we are not weak. You are. We are better than you. We do however feel put upon, hard done by and persecuted and it is you that does these things in order to victimise us. Evidencing our legendary double […]