By The Fading Light
When we commence our devaluation of you it always comes out of nowhere. By now you should be acquainted with the fact that our modus operandi is that we strike from out of the blue. We arrive full of noise, colour and light although you never saw us coming. We turn on our manipulative abuse from out of nothing and then we open the door to the golden period seemingly at a moment’s notice. Our devaluation just appears and of course it has to be this way to keep you spinning around and unsettled. We unleash our array of dizzying and destructive words and actions in order to throw you from that pedestal and have you sprawling in the dirt. It is rare for our victims to submit immediately. It takes a period of time to get them where we want them and that does not cause us concern because plenty of fuel will be spilled towards us in the meanwhile. Initially you are bewildered, puzzled and confused.
Yesterday we were so loving towards you and today so cold. It really is the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde behaviour. The shutters have been lowered, the drawbridge raised and the door slammed shut. It leaves you perplexed. You have a few days of asking us what is wrong, asking us to talk to you and explain, you rack your brains trying to work out was is going on. You may ask your friends and receive supportive yet ultimately unhelpful responses as they do not know either what you are dealing with. You move to try and resurrect the golden period. You make our favourite meals, suggest trips out, buy us gifts, lavish us with attention and offer your body as you dress up to entice us. This all worked before and as you sit frowning and worrying, you wonder who took away that person you loved and replaced him with this doppelganger.
He looks the same but it is not him. You double your efforts to try to return to our golden period, you beg and plead, you ask and cajole but it seems as if we have been cast from stone. Your optimistic entreaties give way to anger and frustration as you demand that we tell you what has changed, you rant and shout as your capacity for understanding becomes overloaded. You feel at your wits’ end as your boil over with frustration. You begin to suggest there is something wrong with us and this ignites our fury. We may allow a short return to the golden period just to confuse you further and raise your hopes. Back and forth we will vacillate as we engage in this push and pull. Round and round we go, dragging you along as we take you back through puzzlement then to endeavour once again. Anger and frustration are familiar stops once again on this circular journey and you begin to feel dizzy. Confusion, charisma, consternation and anger. Each day brings a different emotion and all the while you are being ground down, drained and leeched from. This incessant dance we force you to endure seems never-ending even though the tempo and steps alter.
All through this you are haemorrhaging emotion which we gladly drink as our fuel. It is all intentional. It is all deliberate. We will look into your eyes and see the confusion that reigns. Good. Time to make you work for the golden period again. We see that flicker of optimism and hope as you try to win us back, you try to bring us back from wherever it is we have gone. We never went anywhere of course. We have been in the same place all along, but you never noticed because of the illusion we created. Now we want to see your frustration. Now we want to see your anger. Push, pull, prod and twist. We stare into your eyes drinking deep of the emotion that we find there. Over and over we do this, making you run the gauntlet of differing emotions as you pour fuel in our direction We use your eyes as a gauge to see how our treatment is affecting you. There in your eyes we see the fuel. We keep watching until eventually, after everything you have endured we see the light in your eyes begin to fade. It is then we know that we are gods.
