Possessed
I have a fascination for inanimate objects. Show me a beautiful watch with its intricate mechanism on display and I shall sit transfixed for a long time admiring the craftsmanship in this creation. I like to touch one of my favourite suits relishing the sensation of the cloth. I will hold it up pleased with the way it hangs and then of course admire how I wear it in the mirror. A sculpture, a painting, a car or a piece of jewellery. They all invite my admiration. They are items of beauty and superiority and as such firmly belong in my world. Moreover, they do exactly what I want. I love my dishwasher. It always works. I press the buttons and it obeys my commands, quietly churning away as it removes the residue from the expensive crockery. The glassware comes out shining, without streaks or marks. Each and every time. Objects are reliable. They perform as I require them to perform. I love nothing more than an appliance. It complies, it obeys and it delivers. I love possessions.
I love to possess you and make you an inanimate object. That is how I see you. You are an appliance which I expect to do as I demand.You are but an extension of me, placed here to carry out my demands and whims. I like to attach brand names to my ex-girlfriends. Becky was Zanussi – she was good at science, thus she was the appliance of science. Sarah was Nike since I had to tell her to Just Do It.(she called me Burger King – have it your way, I quite liked her).Another was Energizer as she kept going and going and going (but that’s another tale). I like to think I am Tag Heuer (Success. It’s a Mind Game).I objectify everybody and assess how they can be a good appliance to me. Once that is done I have to acquire the appliance. I have possession of you and you must act as I dictate. All my other possessions do, so why should you be any different?
7 thoughts on “Possessed”
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I am sorry to post in your earlier blogs…I am trying to start from the beginning and work my way to current.
Are your beautiful women regarded as highly as your suit or dishwasher? If you can admire the feel of your suit why not the feel of a woman? I recall you saying that you do not like to be touched and you are not into sex like we are because you can gratify yourself better. My narc seems to feel as if I am a trophy and that is the quality that keeps him around. In trying to get him to leave I tell him there are younger and more beautiful women out there…so what is the catch? If y’all are more interested in fuel then why would a woman’s face or body be seemingly more important than the lack of fuel that is being given? Also what kicks up the intensively high sex drive in a narc when it would other wise be a few times a week?
Have you ever had a wife or girlfriend step out on you?
What does step out mean? Do you mean unfaithful? If so, no. They would not dare.
I did everytime he replaced me Ireplaced him but I got accused of being the cheater he never let it go but of course what he did wadsnt cheating because I made him mad somehow so in his eyes we werent together but I was a cheating whore!! lol he never let up about me being a cheater so then I stopped replacing him when he did it I would be the faithful one prove myself gain trust ect then I realized its so stupid and for myself didnt replace him because I didnt want another hurtful relationship and wanted to concentrate on me and my family …that was wrong too…had to be about him..there was no way to make it work so I decided to just use him for sex when I wanted it no relationship just sex even if just once a year he couldnt do that.. all the sudden he loved me got sober love bombed again reeled me in to DUMP me for an ugly fat toothless drug addict and live at the creek collecting cans for beer and dope saying hes happier than he ever was with me and he wont even have sex with me because he doesent want to blow it with her lmao is that just to hurt me make me want him? its so crazy because it works! I hate him hes disgusting its humiliating and yet I still want to beheld by him and lied to….naybe this time to help him hurt her like she did , me I would love to play his game …I think im learning and turning into one would he like to team up if he could? ir does he just love fighting?
Some classic behaviours there. He repeatedly cheats as he seeks out new fuel but he projects his behaviour onto you by accusing you of doing the cheating. This also serves to get a reaction from you, which becomes attention for him. More fuel. The reason he refuses to have sex with you as he is now with the new woman (she sounds a real catch) is withdrawing something from you which you wanted go give him, ie sex. By withdrawing this, he gets a reaction from you and thus more fuel. If you teamed up to hurt her, it only serves to fuel him. She may be hurt. She may walk away. She may fight back. He wont care so long as he keeps a triangle going of him, you and her. That’s what he wants. You still want to be held by him because of two things.
1. You want to lash out at her by showing that he “loves” you ; and
2. Although you know he is bad for you, emotionally you are struggling to let go. This always takes time.
We can switch off and walk away from you because of the way we are wired. You cannot and it takes far longer to extricate yourself emotionally.
Mam, I would not waste another second on that garbage. Time is so very valuable and playing that game is truly a waste of time. Just my opinion .
Indeed.