Questioning Me

Do feel free to ask me anything you like. I am here for you to dip into my mind and for you to benefit from learning how I view the world. No question is off limits and if you want to establish a dialogue with me, then so much the better. You will be helping me so I can show the treatment team that I am interacting with people in this setting. You can ask me why I do certain things, what am I thinking, what my favourite food is, whatever you like. This is your chance to extract as much knowledge and information from me as you possibly can. If you want to just make a statement, go ahead. Fill your boots. I don’t know you so I won’t fly into a rage (this does happen when people I know question me but that is because they have an agenda – you don’t because we don’t know one another). I look forward to hearing from you.

1,279 thoughts on “Questioning Me

  1. A Victor says:

    HG, I didn’t know about this article/opportunity until today. Are you still open for questions here? Reading through the comments will likely answer some, maybe many, and prove interesting I’m sure also.

  2. SARAH says:

    K: I’m just learning but I’d say mid-ranger, too.
    That man smeared me to the day he died — and you’re right, no remorse ever. He gave me a concussion when I was 15. About 20 years later we were having Christmas dinner at my house and the subject came up. His response was, I did It then and I’d do it again.

    1. K says:

      SARAH
      That’s awful! Sorry you experienced that; did your mother know he did that to you??? I couldn’t imagine anyone hurting my children like that, ever!

      1. SARAH says:

        Oh, yeah. She was there. Not once in all my childhood did she stick up for me (or my brother.) He golden-child-ed my other brother. And the three of them had some weird enmeshment thing going. Honestly their marriage is something I have never been able figure out. Can 2 narcs have some weird power thing together?

        1. K says:

          SARAH
          Triangulation. Yes, two narcs can work together as long as it suits their purposes. Your father is violent so he may be a LMRN or possibly even a ULN. You may find this video helpful.

          1. Sarah says:

            Hi, K! Thank you for the video. Do you have the Part one of this video? I seem to have some difficulty navigating this site in finding things and the knowledge vault isn’t working for me…I don’t know why but it won’t let me search or load.

            It was really interesting to listen to that. My father woz fairly intelligent he waz an executive for many decades before he started his own business. Appearances were extremely important to him and when he had guests over they were always served the highest and best wines, cognacs, you name it whatever would impress them. I personally enjoyed that because I got to eat all the leftover hors d’oeuvres they were quite tasty. I developed a champagne taste comment lol!

            You could count on him always buying the best of whatever you ask for for Christmas.But everything came with a price am I learned that pretty quickly. I got to the point I refuse his help.

            I knew he wanted a competition between me and my brothers and I refused to play the game. It was an instinctual thing when I was a little girl and teenager. I just sort of knew. And I knew who he was from a very very young age. It’s weird it’s like I could just see right through him and I refuse to let him control me which is why I got popped so often. Set my brother. One of my earliest memories was of him beating my brother who is perhaps 5 or 6 at the time, he threw against the wall finally and let him lie there and walked out of the Room. As he walked past me, I was sobbing, He looked at me snidely instead why you crying I didn’t hurt you. That brother just died recently from acute alcohol ism.

            I thought for sure the way he spent money that he would have had a few million. However his state was only worth about $300k. Certainly not a small amount of money but not what I expected.

            Ask for my mother she was pretty cold. When I was being bullied by somebody in junior high The girl was finally able to push me or something, she picked me up from school I was crying. I told her what happened response was, well you must have done something to provoke it.

            When I was in high school I was about 20 pounds overweight and both of them made it quite clear that they were embarrassed to be seen with me. Yes, we are definitely an extension of him and I absolutely refused to participate.

            My mother would also try to get me to join her in belittling my father in various ways. Mostly though she was just really cold and aloof.

            My brother, full blown narcissistic sociopath, Was the golden child. He’s Dumb as a post, And now that my father is not here to support him, I have no idea what hes doing financially.

            I want GOSO Decades ago with the entire family. Both my father and mother have passed, but when my father was alive he would still Drive past my house when he was in town, try to send gifts to my children which I always intercepted, Or other ways tried to assert control.

            I don’t know maybe I should do a consulte with HG?

        2. K says:

          My pleasure Sarah!

          Here’s part one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzZl4q3FJz4

          You may have already noticed the search bar on the right, located above: Recent Comments and “home” is located on the upper left under the red bar. FAQs, Acronyms and The Rules are located under Formal info and I am not sure why you are having trouble with The Knowledge Vault, what device are you using?

          Your dad was very violent and I am very, very sorry for what you and your brothers went through. Your childhood was horrific and your brother dying from acute alcoholism is so sad. He deserved better; you all did. Get together a list of questions or concerns and book a consult with HG. I think you need it, it will set things straight for you and give you direction.

          1. Sarah says:

            K: thx so much! I did get the knowledge vault to work on my computer comment and downloaded quite a bit of things this morning! I particularly interested in hearing how America has been conned, since it has to do with George Floyd and I lived a mile from that when it happened. Should be interesting.

            I have learned so much in just a short week I’ve been on this site and I had written down a number of things that indicate clearly that my father was a narc. I think you’re suspend is right upper middle or lower upper.

            It’s interesting, I just listen to HG”s Interview where he really explains the Narc doesn’t really know what their doing they actually really believe their lies.

            Does that mean that we forgive them? And by forgive I don’t mean undue no contact, I mean recognised truly that it isn’t us. I guess that’s what I’m getting most from this understanding that this mean can’t love anybody couldn’t love anybody, And that gives me me a real sense of freedom, oddly.

            Could you think consultation might be good. So wish we could talk in person!

        3. A Victor says:

          Hi Sarah,

          I know your conversation is with K so please forgive if my comment is unwelcome. I just want to welcome you and say I am so sad for you to have experienced these things. You are in a place that can help. <3
          AV

          1. SARAH says:

            A Victor: Thx ever so much! That’s very kind of you and means a lot.

        4. K says:

          You are very welcome Sarah!

          Excellent, you can navigate the KV and your proximity to the George Floyd killing will lend more import to the article America : You Are Being Conned.

          You can do a Narc Detector (ND) for a definitive answer regarding your father’s School and Cadre; it would be interesting to know exactly what he is.

          I really enjoyed A Raw Report Special and, if you want to understand more about lies (compartmentalization), you can search it on The Ultra; it goes into greater depth in that video.

          This is what HG says about forgiveness:

          HG Tudor says:
          February 1, 2020 at 11:39
          The last phase is Zero Impact.
          Forgiving is a form of engaging and breaches the first golden rule of no contact.

          You may find this video very helpful; the Big Reveal occurs at about 4:18. I do think a consult would be helpful and I, too, wish we could talk in person.

          1. SARAH says:

            K: oh, this is brilliant! Thank you!

            I always knew that my parents didn’t love me. (I remember finding my baby book and it had a button in it with a dad leaping for joy and saying, Its a girl! And even as a very young child I knew it was bollucks!) But I also always wondered why, and laboured under the delusion that somehow I could make them love me if I just did the right thing, found the magic key, so to speak.

            Eventually, I realized intellectually that I could not, but emotionally I know I still tried. I was slowly distancing over the years, but after I was beaten badly by brother and father in my 30s, and my father lied to the police, that was IT. I was done. And I thank God to this day for that!

            Interestingly, in my 20s, I was so embarrassed to be connected to him that I changed my last name.

            Question for you and any other ACONS: Did you find yourself using narc manipulations? I know I did because he taught me “this is how you deal with people.” As children, we believe our parents know best. Fortunately, I got some good counseling when I was a young adult and that ameliorated over the years.

            I saw the interview. So good!! Love his comments about Hollywood and how love/relationships are portrayed in movies. Spot on! I remember watching, My Best Friend’s Wedding and thinking, This is sick — and also explaining that to my daughter afterwards.

          2. A Victor says:

            Hi Sarah,

            I did use what I thought were narc manipulations but I wasn’t very good at them. And then I found out that empath’s do them sometimes when we’re stressed, mostly because we’re human.

            Thanks for bringing this thread to my attention, I look forward to reading through the comments at some point.

            AV

          3. alexissmith2016 says:

            Forgiveness is a funny thing really. When I was younger I used to be very forgiving. I used to believe that everyone had some good in them and that either their bad behaviour was down to a ‘bad day’ or a ‘bad life’ lol. Now I realise forgiveness is nothing more than making excuses for bad behaviour and/or abuse it doesn’t make me a better or worse person if I ‘forgive’ someone. I don’t feel the need to forgive any N at all ever. Armed with LT, i just see the behaviour for what it is and it has no need to reflect on me in any way shape or form. I have not invited abuse, they are abusers and I feel completely indifferent to them.

          4. K says:

            You are welcome SARAH!

            It is brilliant; HG has an article for everything. My parents didn’t love me either, when you have the time, check out this video.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4TEpgfD1oA&t=536s

            As an ACON, I manipulated throughout my entire childhood; it just came naturally and most of it was directed towards my abusive family and authority figures (like the nuns and priests at catholic school).

          5. A Victor says:

            @Alexissmith,

            Hi, I found your comment interesting. I don’t recall ever viewing people as inherently good, this has been part of my problem seeing Savior for myself. I generally feel they’re a bit more bad and I must accept them as they are, maybe this comes from my upbringing. Thank you for the food for thought regarding this and forgiveness.

        5. Fiddleress says:

          Hello Sarah, and welcome here. After reading about the horrors you have been through, I am really glad that you have found this place.
          You say you have already understood lots in just a week of reading here – yes, this is how brilliant HG’s work is!

          You wrote: “Does that mean that we forgive them? And by forgive (…) I mean recognised truly that it isn’t us.” I think it is fundamental to realise that if we were not loved, it wasn’t because we were unlovable, but because narcissists cannot love. As you rightly say, it is so liberating! I don’t know about “forgiving”, that seems secondary to me. No longer being miserable after understanding what it was all about is the crucial part.

          1. Sarah says:

            Alexis Smith: i think when I say forgiveness, I mean more like “let it go.” I don’t want to hang on to it for MY sake — not theirs.

            Fidderless: yes, its very freeing, after so many years of trying to find a way to make them live me, earn their love, winder what I had done wrong, to finally know I did nothing AND nothing I could have done would have changed it.

            On another note — on the way home I saw a license plate that read, 2MEAN4U

            Yikes! Perfect example of a narc giving fair warning!

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