Mobile Weapons

th (12)

I love my mobile phone (or to our transatlantic cousins, I love my cell phone). Technology is so useful to me and my kind and you will notice it is a theme I will often return to. Today I want to give centre stage to my phone. It is such a brilliant weapon in keeping you on your toes and in a heightened state of confusion.

You will see it repeatedly stuck to my hand as I text away, surf the internet and I will often take calls when I am with you. Naturally, I do this to keep you wondering who I am engaging with and also to show they are more important than you. Other times I will keep the ‘phone about my person, away from your prying eyes. I know you want to look at it and see who has been contacting me so I keep it away from you to increase your frustration. I also don’t want you looking at it and knowing precisely what I have been doing. I will turn it off and claim I could not get a signal so that would aggravate you. I will also say that it is not working and then feign amazement when a call arrives. Other times I have run out of credit (even though I am a contract) so I could not call you. You ask why I did not text. I explain that the texts were not sending for some reason. Other times I pretend to lose it so that’s why I was out of contact although I suddenly find it again soon after. You tell me it just rang and rang (I turned off voicemail and put it on silent) or you managed to leave a message but I explain the voicemail function is not working. It really does provide me with a myriad of methods to infuriate, confuse and unnerve you. My favourite tactic of all however, which really gets to you, is to change my number and not tell you. I usually save that for when I am doling out the silent treatment to you.

5 thoughts on “Mobile Weapons

  1. LifeInAshes says:

    An exact description of the behaviour of my ex with his mobile phone. Uncanny! For a moment I almost wondered if my ex had started a blog. But you’re not from the same country. ๐Ÿ™‚ Anyway, a very interesting read.

    1. malignnarc says:

      Thank you, our behaviours are often similar. I expand on this in Danger : 50 Things You Should Not Do With A Narcissist, but you are right, I am not your ex!

      1. ThePolicyOfTruth says:

        I’ve been reading this blog thinking the very same thing. The only two differences so far is that my ex is currently married, and also he is bald (whereas HG you mention several times that you have hair). Plus mine never really indulged in classical music.

        Otherwise the personality likeness is absolutely uncanny. Spot on, from everything said and everything done.

        I realise I’m commenting 4 years late… I started reading the blog from the beginning.

  2. Alice says:

    Dammit, I am still struggling, because I am exploring this f***ing blog and this post triggered me!

    [Some fuel for your day, duh.]

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article

The Best of Inventions

Next article

The Power of Illusion