Reaching the Top
It takes something special to be number one. The route to the top of the tree is littered with those who did not have what it takes to reach the top. Some lacked the focus to reach that achievement and instead became distracted by those false prophets of Love, Friendship and Family. Others fell victim to other ambitious aspirants who shoved them aside and tramped them into the dirt or thrust them from the mountain side to plummet to the depths below. Look around you at the peaks of achievement, of gold medal wearing Olympians, captains of industry, best-selling authors, directors festooned with awards, multi-platinum disc wielding musicians. All of them straddle the peak of their particular calling. What do you see? What do they have in common? The majority of them belong to my kind and me.
Not convinced? Then consider this. When you know that the prize belongs to you, you will stop at nothing to achieve it. This drives you harder, faster and longer. You rise in the cold and dark and you slog away at the road until your lungs burn and your muscles scream in protest. You remain in the studio until that catchy hook is perfected. You will sit staring at the screen, your neck and back knotted until the correct sentence is typed out. Our standards are high. Higher than those around us and this leads to excellence. Blessed with the knowledge that it will be yours, we are best equipped to deal with the rejections from those incompetent buffoons who somehow managed to place themselves in a position to award publishing or record contracts, or who approve a new collection of art to be exhibited or green light that superlative film for production.
We are not concerned by hurting feelings in our quest to the top. We are not weighed down by a conscience, worried about jettisoning that well-meaning but ultimately useless friend from the team. Who else commands such majesty than us? We are blessed in the art of persuasion and what might seem insurmountable to others is readily conquered by us. Our haughty dismissals of the sub-standard and ability to always move forward are the key components needed to become number one. We are equipped to succeed. That is why my kind and me can be found entertaining and leading the world for without our skill sets, one would never embrace such success. Yes, it may offend your sensibilities to consider that people like us hold such positions of authority and magnificence but I know you are the type of person who likes to make sense of situations. Have not all the attributes that I have listed in order to drive oneself to the pinnacle of professions and careers been found in my kind and me. True, they may vary in breadth and intensity but they are there. It would be good of you if you might congratulate us for once.
12 thoughts on “Reaching the Top”
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I know people who are on the top, and who are not narcissist. They played well enough, listened intuition and took risks and didn’t allow to be taken for a ride. So, it’s not your type of people only. Also, why are so many narcissists around me so miserable even when winning?
There are non-narcissists at the top yes, but we are over-represented there.They are not miserable but that is the manifestation of a lack of control with regard to that moment. Thus you see them winning in general, but in that moment they may well experience a challenge to their control and this ‘misery’ is a response to that.
Dearest HG: I have been having an alarming thought since I have been on your site and reading your works, that someone in life, or somehow in life, I have been programed to NOT reach for the top. And programmed this way, not in a good way. But programmed to underachieve, actually. The opposite of how you were groomed and programed, but I do have a little bit of a rebellious streak and broke the pattern a few times, and succeeded, but sort of stumbled on how to go on from there. I have admired your work ethic. And I think about it often. I have been the number 2 person behind a number one person a lot in my careers, without placing myself there. I naturally end up there, over and over, and I enjoy it. The power without the pain. I had plans of my own to be a number 2 person in the Narcissist`s career, but my feelings for him got in the way for me, and I had to drop that idea, of course. But, I still like some of the ideas I had planned, even though I lost my Star that I wanted: The Narcissist. Sort of like a sports owner, for example, that built a stadium and competed for a certain Star athlete, but failed to secure him for whatever reason. What then. Does the entire enterprise have to go down the drain, because I could not obtain that particular Star? The Narcissist? And no other athlete , per this example, inspires me? Now, I am thinking of being the number 1 person for the first time in my life. To take on the role in my idea that I wanted the Narcissist to take. I know that many number 2 people have become number one, for whatever reason. 2 people that I know of are entertainers, Paula Abdullah and Gloria Estevfan. They became number one, after years of being in the background. I do not know their personal stories to know what propelled them to the forefront. I am not interested in that part of their story, because I am interested in my story right now. I am caught in this dilemma now. Whether or not to go for becoming number one. Like you say, it takes a certain perfectionism and strategizing and diligence to be a number one. I will see. That is your influence on me. To consider being a number one for the first time in my life. It is a good influence, just in case that fact does not come through. Even though it is not the purpose of this site.
HG
Thank you as always for providing your view. You say that you learn here as well, so here is another:
Some of us are content to remain feet firmly on ground with no desire to climb the tree at all. We don’t plot, plan, or push others aside or give our lives over to being at the top of the tree. There is no jealousy.
What do I see when I look around? An Olympian? Good for them for reaching their personal goal, but they were only the best in the world on that given day and subject to many things (judges, weather conditions, etc). I celebrate with them, but tomorrow might bring a different result and down deep they know it as well as I do. I value them then too. There are a vast number of Olympians that no one can even name. Perhaps that’s why many of them suffer depression after the Olympics.
Authors, Directors, and Musicians? I encourage them to climb. Will offer a boost up to the first branch and even offer a ladder. Why? Because I am able to accept that the gift of some is greater than I can offer and I am content to enjoy the superlative results of those who’s lives are consumed with seeking the amount of validation that seems so foreign and unnecessary to me.
I am unconcerned with your aching muscles and burning lungs, your strained eyes and knotted necks. I am only happy that it’s you and not me because I am content to go about my life and wait to enjoy the results of your labour. It does not offend my sensibilities that you attain success and I do congratulate you on the results of the sacrifices you list. There are so many of you striving for admiration and validation that I am assured an endless supply of pleasure and convenience.
Who is the puppet?
Wow, this is quite correct.
I have a split opinion on this topic.
I think it depends on the person.
On the one hand, narcissists are very fierce, they strive for a goal they are disciplined and very good at what they do as the author of this blog has new articles for us every day.
On the other hand, I noticed that narcissists or psychopaths very often deal with making a good impression and pretend to be specialists and good employees or managers when in fact they bounce, make a lot of mistakes and blame other people for this, I had trouble working with narcissist ( it seems to me that he also had psychopathic traits) which worked only hard when he saw the manager, he was bumping himself, but he complained to the manager about everything, very unpleasant and nasty man so it probably depends on the person.
Katy: I thought about people that I think were Narcissists with good positions throughout my working career. On reflection, my experience is that they usually excel when things are busy, and during emergencies and big changes, but oh my goodness: When things are slow, they are lured by petty gossip and shenanigans in what I guess is a state of: `The Games Must Be Played.` The Narcissism enjoys chaos and more so during slow times. Keep them busy! Or, stay away from them as much as possible during slow or down times. The entire workplace can go down in flames during such times.
Feeling a little angry with this post because it is so true. I’m a sociologist. A question I ask everyday as I read everything youve written about your kind is “to what end?” Do you want to lord it over just your circle or do you have bigger plans? What does your perfect World look like for my kind? Greaters like you HG, ie HC or DJT…what do you/they want for the World? It’s a worry.
Bigger plans indeed Peaches. To what end? My continued existence and ascent to entitled greatness naturally. Is ambition a dirty word?
What does my perfect world look like for your kind? Well, your kind must be there otherwise I cannot exist but other than that it is how it looks for me.
Ambition is a filthy word to me right now HG. Sorry for that. Im so hypervigilant right now. Its election time in the USA and as usual….
Congratulations. Its true. Those who are at the top are your kind.
Thank you, pleased you agree.