Fury
Learn about the narcissist’s fury and why you affect it.
What is fury? Why is it something beyond anger in a certain group of individuals? Where does this fury come from and what is it used for? What ignites this fury and what is your part in this ignition? What does this ignited fury do and why? Why does the fury never recede? Ascertain whether people in your life suffer from fury and what does it mean. Why does the narcissist cultivate this fury and how is it used against his or her victims? What can you do about it and its effects? These questions and more are answered in a revealing expose of the fury of the narcissist.
US http://www.amazon.com/Fury-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01A3CY4IS
UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fury-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01A3CY4IS
CA http://www.amazon.ca/Fury-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01A3CY4IS
AUS http://www.amazon.com.au/Fury-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01A3CY4IS
20 thoughts on “Fury”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
I guess addressing a narcs behavior is criticism,what about setting boundaries ?
I’m asking because i’m gonna have a hard time following your advice,not criticising the narc. I feel i’m criticizing them just by being alive.Mind you i’m everything a narc wants to be,and thats about the only thing i cannot criticize them for.
You need to obtain the 3 Key Interactions to understand the nature of interactions with the narcissist.
I sure will ! In the land of the blind,…
….the curtain is king.
Nikita all I can say its heartbreaking and soul destroying being discarded line you’re nothing and you never existed. If I’d had the chance to see clearly and know I was dancing the dance of a narcissist and was unhappy I’d want to be the one controlling what happened to me and just once being in control of my destiny.
I hope you find the strength to go NC. Xx
Freedom thanks. It will work for me as it will work for you in letting go. I guess in Englad there are many handsome men to reach out. Today I met my excolleague who works in another floor and since I know her ( like 5 or 6 years) she had not been able to have a boyfriend and since June sje told me she met a very nice one on internet… 😃😃
Truth or dare Freedom?? 😜
Hi Knowsbetter
Really sorry for what you had to go through. I agree they are shaped like this but I still strongly believe its on the brain and they are born like this. The degree of malignancy or if they are malignant or not at all ( s.vaknins garden narcissist) depends on the way they were brought up.
I have kids from a narcissist and they have been brought up the same way, and my daughter shows narcissistic traits but she wont be a malignant one as she has grown up mainly with me because my ex her dad is a career man and traveled alot and I have brought her up witj lots of comprehension, love, sharing, compassion etc.
so she is very skillfull in manipulating technichs which she had even explained to me, and she can be sometimes very cold, no way you can critizice her and she does not cary this fury around all the time … So she was born to have these traits and I do my best to shape her as best as I can.
I have learned all what is possible to learn about applied narcissm in this blog and I know she was born wired up to be how she is today.
For me has been a good combination because as she perfectionist and above average i have no problem with her on grades or bad company or indiscipline, but to get her to make a task at home, or have a contrary opinion is difficult.
Less and less she cares for others and my efforts in teaching her how to share can be still seen around but as she shapes her own personality she looses these legacy of mine but I am convinced I can make a good combination.
All the best with finding a new lovely partner😃
HG
Thanks alot. I know there are those magic words…many more have come until now and many more to come.
Have a nice fueled weekend 😃😃
I guess like you say… Its not possible to escape… At this point in time Im wondering if its less painful to be just cruely discarded… Im pretty desperate also.
I dont have an answer to your question. I dont know why This pain that does not let me implement NC but I did answer no to this request of coming together on the weekend. I have sent my negative answer twice… I imagine he is so angry now That I hope to be left in peace for the weekend.
I never critized him never ever
Just unconsciously lowered the fuel ( for me manifestations of love) because I educated myself so much that the magic somehow broke…
I was confroted with several painful very painful sentences, few but extremely painful.
This was last week. Today I just finished fury and learned that these comments were a weapon and probably the descent in fuel is equal to a criticism?? Is it??
I just told him what you said these past days is very painful to painful and I need time on my own.
Of course until now there has not been a day without hoovering messages…
Yesterday coincidentially with HGs posting came something on salvation, loneliness, desperation… In general everyday this subject and today that I just feel finish fury i received this message ( only part of it for the sake of the subject)
**Anger …
disappointment …
hate and sadness ..
are good things …
to become aware of itself …
to notice “l am in turmoil”.
🌍🌎🌏
But their time you better limit …
than soon they will no longer be beneficial to life …
they make you get stuck in destruction …
lonelyness …
complaint …
misery and crying 😢 …
and this stages doesn’t keep nobody alive.
**
Ive Always talked about my dissapointment and sadness so I must assume hate and anger come from his side… Hopefully not towards me….
In this very moment I would feel like running away…. But there is nowhere to go.
I am not able to implement NC because either way the pain is too much 😓😢💔. Too much
Yes you are right, the reduction in fuel is regarded as a criticism. We equate it to you now admiring us as much as you used to and we take that as a criticism.
He will be hovering you hard in the next few days. Do you mean that the pain of separation will prove too hard to achieve NC?
nikita I feel desperate and sad. I don’t like to feel so. l wish to change. I wish that you comfort me and l have the deep belief that l can comfort you. I think we can make life better than it is right now. So l ask you: Can l call you or do you call me today for talking about coming together this weekend for a moment? Thank you for listening to me. 🐒
N
There are those magic hoover words “I wish to change”.
HG, wow, “the reduction in fuel is regarded as a criticism”. I’ll remember that. As I am aware that not giving fuel wounds the narcissist. The MRN I know tends to try and get into my eye-line but I avoid it every time (hahaha), I even pretend (smirking) not to hear him say “hello” to me on occasion. I once had a lengthy conversation with him, which is unusual, but at that time, it was a necessity – he came across as MRN Type A but did fk all to really give me the refund I was fully well entitled to. He applied blame-shifting. Another time, he did not offer an apology and denied accountability. It’s the behaviours and what they say. Customer services? BS! He knows that I had worked in retail. Alrighty, should the need arise, I’ll apply my request a bit harder, he does not know what he will be dealing with…..and, no, I will not lose my temper 😉
Very good book. I am not yet finished but still stonishes to learn all the type of weapons and without reading this I would not associate them this kind of fury…for example hurtful comments said with alot of fake subtlty…. It makes sense now…
I also liked the part about your mother but it 💔 towards your dad and you. I always feel sorry for people who have such mothers… I cant imagine… Maybe my mother was too much friend and less mother to me and maybe It would have saved me some troubles in life…
Tell me HG. were you afraid of her as a kid?? Did you ever fear punishment from her??
Do you think that being able to ignite such fury is genetic.?? I did my gradution thesis in a company called medical electronics which produces devices to control impulses of the brain, and once talking to a scientist he explained to me that alot in the brain is about creation of impulses and that there are regions in the head with the sole mission of countering those impulses. I think people who cant control their fury lack something in their brains. Would you agree??
This book is a must as part of the narcissistic education.
I am pleased you found it informative. Was I afraid of her? Partly afraid but also in awe. I learned what set her cold fury off so I could avoid it a lot of the time and as I explained I also learned what triggered it and most of all how she used it. With regard to the question of genetics I should imagine there is something in that – as with many behavioural elements it is that whole nature v nurture argument. It would not surprise me if it is a combination of the two. There is something genetic that creates a disposition to the behaviour and then being “schooled” in this manner unlocks the pre-existing susceptibility. I agree with you that those who are unable to control the fury lack some form of awareness or restraint. I touch on that in the book when I write about how the ignited fury is used. Thanks for reading.
I believe a lot more is in how you are brought up and treated by your parents. And specifically your birth order. I have lived with a narcissistic mother that could fly into fits of rage at nothing. What did myself and my father (both oldest in birth order) do? We tried our best to make her happy, to try to avoid the fries (although they were unpredictable), and we became the people pleases in the family, the excuse makers. My younger sibling simply would vanish to their room, and became an introvert who expected me to do all for them also.
Now what did I do when I got married? They always say you marry your father right? Nope, not me, people pleaser, I married my mother. They hated each other (they had to compete). Except I went one step further, my narcissist was also a psychopath. He knew no love, used me for prestige and my money making ability, while slowly crushing my soul. Where was he in birth order. 9 of 10, but baby boy to Catholic momma who treated him like the prince he thought he should be and to this day still does.
I never knew what narcissism was until he left me and my 6 year old daughter the day I got out of the hospital he convinced me I needed to go in because I couldn’t handle myself any longer. They kept me 2 days and declared I had severe depression brought on by circumstances in my home life. Needless to say that night he left, he had it planned as he was having an affair and was moving on to her. (I found out later he had had numerous affairs.) He did the hospital thing because he thought it would bring me to my last rope and he would walk away free with all assets I had basically earned with no knowledge of the new woman. Let’s just say, my dad and I have been though enough shit that we are fighters. And I emerged one to his amazement and got everything in the divorce except 1 thing. Our daughter had to live when she was with him almost immediately with that new woman. But he had been breaking the order from the beginning so the psychologist said what was done was done.
Now 4 years later he has been engaged to this woman, broken it off, moved out 2 times that I know of and now has purchased his own house without her knowledge with telling my daughter they are moving permanently. Karma is a bitch. She was not nice at all and did some very deceiving things during the divorce and after. I haven’t seen her with him in over a year. But really he is the evil one and will do it over and over. I only pray my daughter remains not a casualty. At 10 she already knows she can’t trust daddy. It saddens me, but it makes me that much more careful for the next man I bring into her life. Believe me my friends are a great support system and any guy I go out with gets the 50 questions and I don’t care. My daughter doesn’t meet anyone I date unless I know it is going somewhere and so far that has not happened.
Sorry for the long response, but I wanted to put my 2 cents in. Narcissist and psychopaths are not born thar way, they are made that way.
Hi Knowsbetter and thank you for your comments. A familiar story of deceit, chaos and drama to gather that fuel. Inevitably there are casualties as you found with your own hospitalisation. Yes I am learning that I was shaped to be what I am.
Powerful statement “Yes I am learning that I was shaped to be what I am” and here you are, with (at the time of those words), a newly created blog, followed by other media platforms, alongside listening to others and their experiences as well as understanding yourself as an individual. You have done so much, achieved so much, so well, to be where you are now in the world. Dispersing the myths (misconceptions) of narcissism with your own knowledge through your observations and your analytical, logical thinking. Kudos to you, and, thank you xx