Let’s Pretend

th (15)

I am an expert in reading people. I truly am. I use this ability to further my aims, namely to seduce you and then to cause you pain as I always know how I react. Remember when we first met? Of course you do. You replay those golden moments through your mind several times a day as you try and conjure up some way of recovering them. Or even if you now understand you won’t be able to replicate them, you still like to remember them (even though it hurts you) as you are addicted to the memory. That is how powerful I am. That is how magnificently I get under your skin, into your mind and in between your sheets. When we first met wasn’t it amazing how I mirrored all your good qualities. You were staggered by how much we had in common. That is easy to achieve. I stalk your Facebook page which is a veritable goldmine for your thoughts, desires and what you enjoy doing (and moreover what you don’t like). Knowing your favourite meals is child’s play – you post pictures of them often enough. I have a look at your most visited places (since you like to brag about where you’ve been) and I add them to my list of favourite venues. I even manage to finish off the sentences that you start.

All of that pretence works wonderfully to draw you in. However, it is my skill at impersonating emotions that is where my brilliance lies. You see, I know that you want to believe everything I say and do. It is a very human trait. The need to believe. That is why Karl Marx declared that religion is the opiate of the masses. I am your opium. Utterly addictive. You want to believe in me. You therefore make it easy for me to feign how I feel. I watch and I learn and I copy. Since you are desperate to believe you do not analyse my mimicry to any great degree and accordingly I get away with it. I create a false environment. This world is one where I promise you the earth (but never deliver) and if you try and challenge me about my promises I will pretend I never said them. You cannot prove it can you? Thus I maintain control by causing you to be anxious.

Everything I do with you is false. The way I drew you in, the façade I maintain, the games I play. They are all designed to create something which is not real purely to serve my purposes. Some of you eventually realise this, although only when it is too far late. For others, you never grasp that I am the great pretender and thus you consign yourself to a lifetime of despair and misery.


28 thoughts on “Let’s Pretend

  1. metrouble says:

    Has anyone ever treated you in the same regard that you do them? If so what was that like? My ex wouldn’t let me be so I became his narc. I stole from him, lied constantly, cheated, silent treatment, set him up, all that he did to me and I loved it. He is as addicted to me as I am him. He’s in Jail for 16 months. I continue meeting narcs on line and I love the love bombing but as soon as I feel he’s about to strike I slam them first. I feel like I can’t be satisfied w normal guys anymore. I’ve had a taste of the dark side and I hate it as much as I love it.

    1. malignnarc says:

      I can’t say anybody has done that to me. This is because I either broke them so they could not retaliate in any meaningful way or they would not do so because it is not in their nature and that is why I targeted them in the first place. What do you sense when you think that a narc is about to strike? Sounds like you and I should meet.

  2. Leigh says:

    Sick, twisted and fascinating. Have you ever truly loved someone? Have you ever met someone (female) that you consider an equal?

    1. malignnarc says:

      Hello Leigh, the way I love is different to what you consider love to be. By your definition of love, no. Nor have I met an equal.

  3. Me says:

    Response to this- ‘Indeed hence why I ensured “The Picture of H G Tudor” was painted using karma resistant paints. I win.’

    There’s no such thing, when it happens you will remember this exchange. Just the response I expected though.

    Something to satisfy my curiosity, would you ever, even for a single day, desist in your incessant desire for ‘fuel’ just to see what it felt like. To just wake up one morning, see what that day brings, no machinations, no deceptions, no pretence, no stalking, no controlling. Would you do it? Could you do it? Have you ever tried it? If not why don’t you? Try it if you dare, let us know how that feels.

    1. malignnarc says:

      No because the restlessness and “sinking” feeling is not something I want to experience on a protracted scale.

  4. One of the posters mentions your use of the word fuck in what previously was the last line of this post…I beleive it was something similar to …no one knows what the fuck you are talking about…I thought that it brought some depth and perhaps was well thought out. Why did you decide to remove it

    1. malignnarc says:

      It ought not to have been there.

      1. Interesting

  5. No reference, a clear statement filled with regard

  6. nikitalondon says:

    Its again a great posting, but difficult to comment. I have never had such feedback from any of my relationships with Ns… Not even near to this. Evem though there is no feelings from my side, no hoover from theirs… Its really from both sides looking at the good thinga that could be rescued…
    First time I have no clue what to say except it seems the relationship was a big mistake.,. I think from what is expressed in it.
    A big big addiction from the other side who is not able to move forward despite the pain lived…

    The last sentence with F word… Was this a mistake in the posting?

  7. apocalipznow says:

    That was excellent. Especially the last paragraph “Every thing I do with you is false”… That right there that’s all of it.., in a nutshell.

    1. malignnarc says:

      Thank you.

      1. apocalipznow says:

        You know what? For a minute there, I thought you were Prince Harry. Isn’t that weird? Yes, I know. So you say you’re good looking, right? Are there any pics of you available (could be 1st grade, 8th grade, in utero, I dont care) Just something to prove your name is NOT John Merrick.

        1. malignnarc says:

          Just to confirm, my father is not James Hewitt. There that should clear things up.

          1. apocalipznow says:


  8. Reblogged this on Sir's little darling and commented:
    We need to know this stuff…

    1. malignnarc says:

      Thank for you doing so.

  9. Me says:

    Absolutely correct again, describing the devil himself, I feel for those that have the lifetime of misery and despair, and so on, again not so in my case, yes it took a while, alarm bells early on, but seen and been through way too much to waste my energy on him.

    Tonight a mutual friend asked why she was blocked on social media, ignored and the like, I tried to explain that what she saw was not real, a myriad of lies, she just couldn’t grasp the notion that someone would waste so much time cultivating friendships, relationships, then discard so many at the drop of a hat. He’s done it before, will do so again and again and again, I said. She just couldn’t grasp that concept. I told her he now has shiny, new acquaintances, doesn’t need her or her kind any more and that he will do it to them too, and when when they see him for what he really is, off he’ll go once again.

    Yes, he’s off playing with the shiny new friends, like lambs to the slaughter poor dears, who will be duped and used just like anyone else he encounters. I’m absolutely certain there’s a new victim, I have no proof but there must be, whether he will succeed I have no idea nor do I care. Yes he will lie to them all, the friends, family, and so it will go on.

    He’s no oil painting, losing looks, hair, overweight. He and his kind will have a pathetic, steady demise into old age and loneliness, faded looks, prostrate and penile problems, what other outcome is there?
    Karma is not just a bitch, she is an absolute and unrelenting bitch.

    1. malignnarc says:

      You paint such a delightful picture of advancing age. Thank goodness I have that painting in the attic.

      1. Me says:

        I take it you’re aware of ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’- by the brilliant Oscar Wilde. He couldn’t escape the painting in the attic. Neither will he, or you. Karma.

        1. malignnarc says:

          Indeed hence why I ensured “The Picture of H G Tudor” was painted using karma resistant paints. I win.

  10. This post is riddled with desperation to be recognized, and not void of emotion. I see you.

    1. malignnarc says:

      Is that you Sauron?

      1. That is a loaded question. What is it that you seek know?

      2. Is Sauron not an evil character? I am not evil

        1. malignnarc says:

          I daresay you are not FandR it was your reference to “I see you”.

          1. No reference, a clear statement filled with regard.

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