Four Colours Narcissist

First colour narcissist is red. Red come first, the red of passion and seduction. The pumping of the blood from an engorged heart, the red of warmth, that pulsating warmth that spreads over you, delicious and exciting at the thought of being with us. Red comes the first flush of coy embarrassment as you receive the first barrage of our love-bombing, the missiles raining down on you, compliments and praise exploding all around you, causing you to glow with embarrassment, your usual modest self not used to such high adoration and intense appreciation. Red are those lips which you paint so carefully, seeking to entice me since now you want me so much because of what I have shown you. Red is the passion as I first lead you by the hand towards the bedroom and deliver that accomplished performance that will have you begging for more. Red is the flush that crosses your chest and neck, following the denouement of our coupling. testament to the pleasure that has enveloped you and drawn you in. Red are the flags which fly by the score during this introductory stage but you neither hear nor see them for they just blend in against the background of red that I have created. The rustle of those red flags is lost, the symbol of warning never noticed when everything else is so deliciously and invitingly red.

Second colour narcissist is gold. The colour of champions, the symbol of triumph and the mark of the winner. It is our colour, that shining, lustrous gold which glints and shines so magnificently. It reflects across everything, bathing all that we are and all that we create with a brilliant golden light. The dull becomes interesting, the mundane becomes spectacular and the standard becomes special. Everything that glitters is now indeed gold. This colour is apt for it belongs to us, those who are at the peak, those at the pinnacle, the top and the elevated. We have no use for silver or bronze, those are the colours of defeat, the also-rans and the has-beens. Gold is ours and with that colour all that we touch becomes golden. Like King Midas we bring golden sunlight into your life and create this magnificent dynasty with the establishment of the golden period. This era is one of warmth from the golden sunlight, brilliance from its blazing rays and pleasure, delight and elation. Nothing is bad once the golden period has begun, this searing light banishes the shadows, chases darkness away and covers you from head to toe. Our gold dust is thrown liberally around, over you, your life, your friends, our friends and so much more. Everywhere you look you see the effects of this gold. Everything is better, brighter, bigger, more exciting, more satisfying and it is unlike anything that you have ever experienced before. You have attained the gold standard in being chosen by us and you will do anything to remain at the top of the podium.

Third colour narcissist is black. The once banished darkness appears in an instant, all pervasive and able to consume with frightening ease the golden light that once promised to shine forever. It has become a dim memory as the machinations of our black hearts are played out against you. Black is the colour of our moods as you face another day of silence, anger and blame. Black is the cloud which has settled on you and is thick, dark and extensive. No golden light can shine from the firmament through this cloak of black, it has been blotted out by the darkness. Black is our intent as we plan our schemes, concoct our plots and begin our barrage of dark and malign behaviour against your unwitting self. Black is the colour of our eyes which once danced with golden invitation but now have become like ink wells, the eyes flat and hard. Nothing can be seen within save for that baleful glare that lingers and bores into you, seemingly willing you to an even darker place than the one which you now inhabit. Black is the day and the night, the two fused together as time no longer has any meaning to you. All sense of the passage of the minutes and hours has been eroded into a solid block of dark emotions and experiences. The escape routes have been blackened so they cannot be seen against this backdrop of malicious conduct. Black is the forge where dark and twisted tools are furnished, ready to wound, hurt and injure. Black is the long shadow that we cast over your life when we appear in the doorway. Black is the deep and dark pit into which you have been cast and from which there appears to be no escape or relief.

Fourth colour narcissist is white. The colour of desolation and emptiness. The signature colour that accompanies the heartless discard as you are cast out into nothingness. There is nothing to see for all colour in the world has been leeched away by our treatment of you. All that you knew has been eradicated, leaving a plain, white canvas denoting the sterile place that you have been consigned to. White is the colour of numb. You see no colour in the same way that you hear nothing, for the silence that emanates from us is vast and crushing. You see no colour in the same way that those once delicious meals become tasteless like ash in your mouth. You see no colour in the same way that you no longer feel anything. Joy, happiness and delight have been sucked from you and swallowed up leaving nothing behind. All around you is this white wilderness where you see no horizon, you see no end. Your eyes look for a route a way forward but there is no path or road. It might be there but it is indistinguishable from this white blanket which as covered your world. White is the wash that has been painted over our behaviour, excusing it and removing any blame or accountability from it. It is not coloured with the taint of shame, guilt or remorse but has been left empty and stain-free. We have become whiter than white. White is the emptiness. The huge and terrifying emptiness into which you have been placed.

White is also the colour of the ghosting memories which float about this forgotten vale, the spectres of something that once went before who drift aimlessly around you a reminder of the shell that you have become. White denotes absence. What would you give to escape this numbing whiteness, to feel once again? A speck of colour would be so wonderful, just something to contrast against this constant whiteness, a fleck of colour to provide some kind of change. Perhaps a spot of red is just what you need?

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42 thoughts on “Four Colours Narcissist”

  1. This is one of my favorites. Being a visual person I often associate feelings and colors.

    With the white, I look forward to when it symbols a fresh start for me. It is so unfair it symbolizes good things for someone so bad, and bad things for someone so good, but they are perfect analogies.

    I hate that I love red so much!

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  2. Orange

    You forgot orange HG. This is the colour for when the N has gone, you’ve worked out what he was, moved on with your life and now feel eternal happiness!

    This is because you have a greater understanding of the games people play, can no longer be played and because you’ve found yourself, addressed the ghosts from your past and feel complete – feel real and true love for yourself and those who deserve it.

    Orange is the colour of the love generation !!

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      1. The Apple was already eaten HG. I can’t go back and ‘uneat’ it – if only.

        I was force fed the red pill !! I didn’t want it, I wanted the blue one, but he’d painted the red one blue – I was tricked !

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  3. For me this is taylored made for the HMS and the red and golden colors. 🙂 <3

    Days go by my window
    World slows down as it goes
    Goodbye to last night
    Lost my eyesight
    Can't you help me see

    Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive
    Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive, alive, alive

    Waking in the snow
    Tracing steps with you
    Swimming through the snow
    Wrapped in velvet
    Can't you help me see (they won’t get right)

    Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive
    Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive, alive, alive

    Can you feel it’s call through me
    I’m the one that you seek
    All you need is so much, I’m just waiting on
    Freedom is within you
    Giving makes us feel good
    Hello to our people
    Say hello to the future
    Freedom is within you
    Giving makes us feel good
    Hello to our ṗeople
    Say hello to the future

    Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive
    Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive, alive, alive

    Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive
    Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive, alive, alive

    https://youtu.be/IPKAwJKGSDc

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  4. I love this piece. On point for sure with all the feelings. I just can’t associate white though for the desolate emptiness. I substitute gray for that.
    White for me is that sterile palatte to be filled slowly with color for rebirth as healing takes place. A speck of yellow for warmth like sunlight shining down. Eventually the spectrum of all colors can come in to be introduced again.

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    1. That’s exactly what I wanted to say, Clarece, but you beat me to it.

      For me white is purity. It is the unblemished canvas waiting to be speckled with colour, life and excitement.

      White does not equal nothingness for me at all.

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      1. Oh, am I getting picked up on the Midnight Express instead of the Batmobile now? Lol

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      2. A beautiful place. I stayed there when I attended the grand prix at Monza. George Clooney and Madonna have homes there also but the weren’t around when I was there.

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      3. Name dropping and generally showing off HG? I;m sure if you had let them know you were coming they’d have flown in quick sharp.

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  5. Brilliant example, HG! The color analogy really brings it home!

    It’s important for targets to remember that these stages are also present in friendships with N’s and Sociopaths.

    Except Red would represent the exciting activities these people invite you to share with them…..Gold…there is a golden period in these friendship, and it can last for YEARS!…until the Black period shows up. This happens when you really “mess up’ in there eyes. The Black period is VERY short on the friendship end. The White period is what they’ve been just waiting to give you! This is a cycle that keeps going if you don’t escape it.

    I was just hoovered by proxy by my former best friend..through a mutual friend…..THIS MORNING!!! Is May International Hoover Month? lol

    I will copy and paste the facebook message our mutual friend sent to me this morning:

    ‘Hi T., Hey I ran into an old friend today at lunch, M. and I was asking her about you (I remember always seeing you two together way back when). Anyway, she said you guys don’t talk much anymore and she said she really missed you a lot. She wouldn’t get into details but said you two weren’t even FB friends. I was surprised because you two were such good friends back in the day. I told her I would send you a PM and let you know I saw her and that she says hi and she misses you.’ ~S.K.

    My response:

    Thanks so much for caring enough to write me, S.K. M. ran into some problems years back with the law. She kept that life secret from me….because she knew how I felt about it. However, secrets ALWAYS come out. I talked to her about the situation. I told her I couldn’t be near any of that….it didn’t align with my morals and I have a state license in radiology….and I couldn’t afford to compromise my livelihood. She denied everything…got caught…put me in a position to have to tell B. (her mom) the whole truth…and M. didn’t want her mom to know the truth. M. through me under the bus. From that day on….I was an enemy to M and Br. Yes….after all of those years.. …..I hold no grudges against M. She has apologized and I accepted it. I only wish her good things in life. However, trust has been broken in our relationship twice on her end….fool me once..shame on you….fool me twice…shame on me. Being the sensitive woman I am…I have made the decision to stay out of situations that hurt me. I am sorry B. died without her knowing truth…..the friendship and love was real on my end…it always was. Thanks again for writing….but M. knows full well what happened….and she knows I forgive her for everything.~T’

    Friends, I want to point out that my ex friend, M. was a sociopath. Full on. Breaking the law means nothing to sociopaths….she decided to sell drugs and possibly launder the $ through her accounting business. She got caught. The Feds raided her home- TWICE. Her mother lived with her….and she wanted her mother to take the rap for her. She actually ASKED her mother to! She was able to control her rage though….she has a mask of sweetness and light. People really think she’s an angel. I got the White stage from her until she got out of prison. She took a plea–2 years. I don’t trust her….I don’t believe she stopped the drug business. I want ZERO to do with her…if she tried to blame her mother for her crimes…what do you think she’d do to me?

    I won’t be Hoovered by her.

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    1. My God! What a story. I’m going to become a recluse and never leave my house. They are everywhere.
      Is May International Hoover Month? We should all keep a tally and see if something is in the air! Lol

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      1. This woman is cool as a cucumber, M. Butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth…..she had most folks fooled until she got arrested. I keep thinking of all of the road trips we took in my car….did she have drugs on her? Had we been pulled over, I would have been at fault…she would have through me under the bus in a second!

        Her mother believed her even after the raid and they found drugs! I had to tell her mom the truth after that…and her mother got mad at me for not buying her story?!

        She started working on my sister when she was released from prison…and my sister wanted to forget and forgive….I forgave…but I don’t want her friendship. My sister and I have jobs that require CLEAN RECORDS!!! I told my sister I don’t want her in our home if she chose to be friends with her…..my sister saw my side finally. However, now she’s working on random friends….so I told him the whole truth!

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      1. Real life is WAY MORE exciting than fiction. I don’t want anyone to think I know a bunch of criminals…because I don’t. However, I feel it is important for me to share how just being acquainted with full blown sociopaths could lead to big trouble for a good and decent person.
        These two female sociopaths that I knew didn’t start off with any criminal record…but it’s just the way they feel so entitled to drink and drive…to sell drugs for the $…ect. They’re acts could get an innocent person in trouble. I share these stories because I want other to be aware of the danger. I have angels around me, I’m sure…..I always got away emotionally hurt….but I have my life and a clean record, Nikita!

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      2. Sure this is how I picture you! Clean.
        I just enjoy alot how you tell your stories with lots of energy. Its nice.
        I also know people who got introuble with the law, but I dont know if they have PD. But all these people are now good people earning their lives in a legal way.
        Sometimes people make mistakes and have to pay for them in prison and then try to make a life again and I think everybody deserves this opportunity and support because many do want to.

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      3. Right! Many people repay their debt to society and come out of prison much better people. These women probably would have never got in trouble if they they had just followed the rules. However, they NEVER felt rules applied to them. My ex friend, M just decided that she could make all kinds of $ tax free if she sold Ecstasy. She thought she’d never get caught. She’s fooled everyone in her life into thinking she was an angel….and after reading what the Feds said about her….she tried the same thing with them. However, they bugged her home and phone. They had recordings. The other ex friend likes to speed and drive drunk…and she caused an accident. The rules have never applied to her. Until she killed our friend. I was so close to being affected by their sense of entitlement…. They came out of prison….and it’s business as usual….no change.

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      4. Nikita, I guess I have lived an exciting life! I have had many experiences…and to be honest. 80% of them are positive and I really have had a beautiful life!

        I have a great family that loves me to the moon! Many great friends, two jobs I love, a loving church family, rescue cats that follow me around everywhere..

        All of my ex N’s were jealous of my friends and my travels….they never had any stories they could share…because they burn every bridge. N3 never had any close friends…only “people” he kept around that could help in life some way. He was always annoyed I was so popular around town. He said my friends took away from the time we had together….*smh*. Glad he is gone!

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  6. But white, the colour you say is associated with emptiness and the discard, is all the light, at all the frequencies – ALL the colours. Ending up with all that amounts to a HAPPY ending HG. Heartbroken or not, endings are the only real gifts Ns unwittingly give.

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    1. LOL – no, no, no…not at all. White is the ABSENCE of all colours! That is why it reflects everything and gathers nothing…no heat is generated from the white of the moon, for example!

      Black is actually the most powerful colour…it absorbs all and forgets nothing; this is why the “black” phase of the malignarc is just as potent as the “red” one!

      Go figure why red and black are my favourite colours…royal purple, sapphire blue, and sterling silver / platinum / argent gold round out the top five!
      😉

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      1. Lol right back atcha Sepultural13! Go and google it buddy. Recall dispersion through a prism in your science class? You know, the time when you made a rainbow. White is ALL the colours of the visible spectrum. Black doesn’t count as a real colour in fact. Odd that it’s my favourite but to my mind, it’s the best at enhancing the vibrancy of the real thing.

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      2. You get all of your information from Google? Next you’ll be telling me to use Wikipedia!

        LOL – nice try, “buddy,” but sorry…Google doesn’t have all of the answers, and neither do you.

        🙂

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      3. Oh! Don’t you want to be friends Sepultural13? Oh well. If you distrust what google can find then how about a book? You’ll find it in a book. Is a book ok?

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  7. I do agree.. Whiteness is the color of numbness, where there is nothing.
    No joy and no happiness anymore… That is the breakup, even if you are not discarded.. An empty pain that you somehow have to numb away.. Its leaving a piece of yourself behind.

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  8. Happy for you T you seem to be really cared for 😃.
    I also have two rescue cats 💝 And I adore them.
    Have a nice day and hope your friends or exfriends find the way.

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    1. Thanks so much, Nikita! Keep those rescue kitties loved, friend! They are the most grateful pets…they do know that you saved them…and they love you for it!

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      1. I totally love them T. They know I rescued them… i feel it. ❤️. They are indeed grateful. One is my eternal company in winter and cold times. We “make” coffee together every morning…
        I cant imagine life without them. Im always afraid of that because when I lost my dogs The pain was unbearable and I am very much afraid of that.
        Good luck T 🌹.

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  9. The only colour I always loved was white…my mum used to force me to wear diffrent colour clothes etc in order to stop me wearing white…white is pure…white is reflecting all the other colours… white is quiet and clean…

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      1. Yes that’s the only colour I love dear G.Why?
        (Unfortunately can’t within society dress in white, painy my house white and have everything white, can I? Hmm..Actually I could…time to change my wardrobe I think)

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  10. So, if we mix up all of those colors, we get the real color of Narcissist – dark brown. Hmm… Interesting.

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