Does Not Compute

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Technology is a boon to our kind. It enables us to reach more people than ever before for the purpose of a quick squirt of fuel or as part of the orchestrated campaign to seduce our next victim who will be our primary source. The prevalence of social media platforms, blogs, chatrooms and the like provides us with a ready audience for us to declare our brilliance. Whether it is a pithy tweet, a photograph of our latest cycling adventure on Facebook, the culinary achievement that has been shared on Instagram, there are so many ways to herald our magnificence. We do not need to be near to these people. The reach is millions and therefore when we receive a praiseworthy comment, a like or love indication from the relevant button then that sudden dose of fuel comes our way. It is an almost instant hit. Fire something out across the electronic ether and in a matter of moments a reliable dose of fuel will come winging its way back. What a wonderful and simple method.

Even better is the use of our computers to search out targets, vet their online information to ascertain whether they would be suitable for our purposes and then to mine for information which can be used in the seduction of our targets. It is all there. The computer us used to find the information which forms the bedrock of our campaigns and it is also the instrument of our campaigns. So many repeated ways to bombard somebody with our supposed love. Our incessant application and monitoring. The ways in which we can keep in touch with different prospective victims as we assess who will be best. The way we can develop your replacement as we feel that your positive fuel is waning and your devaluation is just around the corner. The way we can triangulate you with a piece of machinery as our eyes remain locked on the screen as we engage in our online flirtations and gathering of fuel. The computer is truly our friend but it is also very useful for you to understand what you are dealing with.

Our use of the computer is a telling indicator of who you are dealing with. Whether it is a tablet, laptop, PC or mobile ‘phone (after all you are really carrying a small computer in your bag or pocket these days) you can expect to find similar secretive and furtive behaviour from our kind when it comes to the use of the computer to further our machinations. The computer is the nerve centre of our operations and as such it is something which we will guard. Accordingly, you should be aware of activity and behaviour such as: –


  1. Closing the computer down when you are nearby;
  2. Switching screens when you are nearby;
  3. Refusing to let you use the device;
  4. If you are able to use the device, we will not allow you to know the password and instead will enter it for you;
  5. If you are able to use the device, we will hover over you whilst you do so;
  6. If you are able to use the device you will find that the e-mail account is either locked or is empty, the search history is clear, there is no predictive search element in the search bar which may give away previous and frequent searches and documents are locked down.
  7. If you are given unfettered access to a computing device then it is highly likely that we use a different device for our dark works which you do not know about, otherwise there is no way that we will allow you to use such a device so freely. In this instance you need to have identified other red flags to indicate it is more than likely that you are engaging with a narcissist to raise the prospect of us using two computers. If there are no other red flags your unfettered access to the computer will purely be as a consequence of the use having nothing to hide and he or she will not use a secret device.


You would do well to consider the computing habits of the person that you are with and especially so if you have suspicions that you are dealing with one of our kind. Understand that the computer (in its various forms) forms the platform for so much of what we do. Gathering new victims and seducing them, organising and executing your devaluation, orchestrating the smear campaign against you. You should know that the computer is a tool which is used against you and you can utilise it as a barometer of our attitude towards you which will then in turn allow you to understand what you can expect to happen.

So much of what we do occurs through the electronic medium because that allows us full reign to portraying what we wish to portray to the world at large. It allows significant access, it provides a platform for heralding our achievements and it is not an exaggeration to state that it forms the engine room of our activities.

We will never allow you access to our computers but if there is a shared device then you should look out for two things. The first is that after we have used it, our e-mail inbox, browsing history and messaging will be cleaner than a contagious diseases research lab. This situation will persist for some time. The second is that when there is something to read in that inbox, from that browsing history and those messages you ought to know that we wanted you to see it because your devaluation has begun and this is the electronic bait that has been set to provoke you. Bear in mind, this is just what we are prepared for you to see for the purposes of gathering fuel. What is really going on our devices that we will not allow you access to (and the ones you do not even know about) is far, far worse.


13 thoughts on “Does Not Compute”

  1. What IS really going on behind the scenes?
    As Oliver Twist would say … “please sir, I want some more.” 🙂 Hope there’s a Part 2, HG.

  2. I have that my ex-N also used technology as a tool to shift blame onto. We all know how unreliable technology can be so its very easy to pull the “but i never recieved that text/email/message etc. You cant blame me for my pho e/internet etc being unreliable” this allowing the N to show up uninvited (as they never recieved the text explicitly stating NO) or to do the wide range of things they could possibly do as a result of blaming that wretched unreliable peice of technology!!!

  3. Goodness. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say youre my ex. Sure, I’m not the first reader to make that statement. Reading your posts has been such an eye opener.

    Delighted to say I’ve escaped and a mere 6 weeks later, am happier than I’ve been in years.

    Your posts give me an insight to a way of thinking that is beyond me. I’m an empath and I’d rather be me, caring, loyal with genuine emotions and feelings, than a Narc who has no depth or substance to them.

    1. Hello IrishGal, of course I am your ex, or at least similar to him or her. Yes, you are not the first reader to write that nor ill you be the last. I am pleased the writing has proven useful to you.
      What prompted you to escape? Was there a moment of revelation?

  4. That is how my world ended one day, ex husband Narc was at a seminary abroad (with an Escort at a resort) and I went on his computer, the ugly truth and the devastation … for months … years … it was all there, from computer to phone, to bank … to the apocalypse.

    1. BR, do u think he left the access to his pc for u intentionally?
      How do u manage “trust issues” (if any) after that case?

  5. Do you ever think that the one youre with might have a computer that you dont know about? I’ve told people abiut your site, but if I were with ex, I’d never want him to know about it. Spot on about phones being computers.

    Side note….What a match yesterday. Blow to the home team. Read the play by play on phone. What are your thoughts?

    1. Well I could understand somebody adopting that approach and indeed it would prove useful in preparing to depart. One cannot be entirely sure what is being done on a works computer (although of course someone may not want to use that and ought not to really, in a private capacity). I have not had any reason to think that some secretive computing has been going on with one of my primary supplies, I keep an eye out, but ultimately one cannot be one hundred per cent sure.
      Yes Portugal did well following the blow of losing their talisman, Ronaldo. France ought to have won it though and I thought they would do so.

      1. So true. Private stuff doesn’t belong on a work server. No, you can’t know for sure. Was just wondering if you had experienced the reverse. Now, it is just so easy for one to do.

        Yes, I was thinking about your take on who was going to win. I don’t like Ronaldo. I hated to see him go down bc who likes to see a football player or any other athlete (or person) hurt? It was injurious to see (read) his substitute score the winning goal.

  6. My cell , tablet, and laptop were eventually became a huge bone of contention between us. He initially argued that ANY time I spent on electronics , irregardless of whether I was attending to work related tasks or just checking my favorite news sites, proved that I was incapable of making him and the “relationship” my “first priority” and damnit he would NOT compete with an electronic, or any other type of reading material ,”books and papers”. To show him my endless devotion I began to keep my devices in a separate room , or in my briefcase, just as long they not in the vicinity wherever we were convening, especially when we were at his apartment.
    YET he kept his phone on or near him at all times, checking it often especially when one of his “weather alert” notifications buzzed.(that’s what he called text alerts from one of his secondaries) .

    The electronics triangulation game escalated terribly when one night at my place now he came in my room, where I had separated myself in efforts to deescalate a war that had erupted over my need to go online to pay a bill manually, a method he didn’t find efficient. After I paid it, I began to do other things on line and then when he finally entered the room, I put the phone down next to me and he seized it; when I asked for him to return it , he refused and furthermore if I ” loved him and had nothing to hide”, then why did I drop it so fast when he came in the room? Am I hiding something , and if you’re not then open the phone and let me see what you were doing.

    After allowing him to unlock it to prove my innocence and get him to give it back, he began to do a full search of my browsing history, and Gmail account where he found subscriptions to dating sites I had joined , and forgotten, way before we met. STRIKE ONE. Then in the browser he claimed that a visit earlier that week to Craigslist (where I was selling my bike) was suspicious. Was I using that as a cover for finding a hook up? No ? Oh come on everyone knows what Craigslist is for! STRIKE TWO. Finally while doing a search of my text messages, he saw one saying ” hey” with no response from me as I never noticed it before. Who texted this? I don’t know the number was unknown to me. “Oh sure you don’t know it yet it was sent at 2:00 am, DO YOU THINK I’M STUPID” STRIKE THREE ! Welcome to hell he gleefully announced slamming the door,commencing my entrapment in my own bedroom where he continued to ravage the phone, removing the SIM card, blocking me from leaving the room until I called whoever sent me the text. I was not allowed to leave until I dialed and got a generic answering machine message, but the final result was my new nickname SLUT, a broken phone, and the subsequent devaluating events leading up to the FIRST discard. Yeah I went back with each Hoover .. 4x I think? I was NC for 7 months until recently. Went NC again last week. This blog is remarkable btw Thank You so much.

  7. Joseph

    If you care to share, what caused you to return after 7 months NC? Did you see anyone else in that 7 mths?


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