Shiny, New and Improved


You messed up. I gave you the world, I really did. I truly gave you everything you ever wanted from someone. I know I did because this is what I always do. I always deliver. You did not though and you let me down. Despite everything I said, everything that I did you failed. Oh I hear you bleat on about how you loved me like nobody else. You protest about all the things you sacrificed for me, all the things you did for me and how you put me ahead of everything else in order to please me, to make me happy. Stop going on about yourself will you? It is not very becoming. This hysteria surrounding how you pulled out all the stops, gave your all and did everything that I ever asked of you, even doing some things you did not like is pathetic. Ah I see, you complain about it now, but you did not at the time did you, you charlatan? You disgust me.

I am well rid of you and in a way I suppose I must thank you because if you had not failed you would not have made me realise how we did not belong together. I did everything I could to make it work but you let me down. Thank goodness I woke up and saw it otherwise I would still be trapped by you. You at least enabled me to realise how flawed you actually are and I won’t be making that mistake again. Not a chance of that happening. In fact, as testament to just how wonderful I am and how brilliantly I treat you I have someone else. What do you mean I wasted no time in moving on? Why should I? I am not going to sit around and bemoan how you let me down. That will not serve any purpose and besides I cannot help it if people want to be with me, it is only natural.

Yes I am with Lauren now. She is wonderful. She is everything I have ever wanted and I am her soul mate. I know that we are going to be very happy together now. She is the one. I know I thought that of you, but you misled me. Lauren is not like that. I am moving in with her next week. It makes perfect sense. I want to be with her all of the time. She is beautiful, just look at her, perfectly put together. She is so shiny and new. I am head over heels in love with her, I cannot be apart from her. Take a look. If you had been more like her then I would not have had to punish you the way I did. That is not going to happen with Lauren. No way. I can only see a bright and beautiful future for us. I hope she falls pregnant soon as our child will be such a wonder to behold. Thank God I did not have a child with you. Imagine that? Good God that would have been terrible having to share a child with a monster like you. Lauren will be a first class mother, we have already talked about it and I can tell that she is keen. She adores me and always will. Not like you. You had your chance but you messed it up. You only have yourself to blame. Oh I know what you are like, you will try and make out that it was me that was the problem but I know it was you. So do all my friends and yours. Yes I have already spoken to them and they agree that I am better off without you and that Lauren and I are the perfect couple. She always knows what to say you see. She understands me like nobody else does. She gets me. She is the only one. I bought a new ‘phone with an increased megapixel camera because there will be so many photographs I have to take of Lauren and I. I want all those perfect moments captured so I can show the world how happy we are together. I know other relationships have not worked out but that is what happens when you get duped by harpies. Lauren is not like them. She is not like you. We have booked a holiday away already. Two weeks in the sunshine. We are going to have such a brilliant time being together in paradise. You can expect plenty of postings on Facebook so feel free to look in on them, I know you will. You can expect all my friends to be talking about us. We are the golden couple. Thank goodness I found her. This is it. This is the one for me. We just fit together. It is as if she knows what I am thinking. She listens and learns and then always knows the right thing to say and to do. It is marvellous and just shows why we belong together. I know you will need to know all of this because, well, I deserve to be happy after what you did to me. You should be happy for me, you should, that is if you really do love me. You tell me you do but that does not matter now. I have a perfect love with Lauren and this is the one that will last.I imagine we will be married by the summer. It will be a glorious ceremony and she will look absolutely stunning, polished and gleaming, stood just the way I want and looking at me with rapturous adoration.

I could not be happier, I really could not. I have my soul mate, I am her angel sent from heaven to make her happy and I will do that because I am so good at doing that for people. Everything is going to be just wonderful and you had your chance but you blew it. I get so excited when I find someone new and when I know they will be better than you. Someone who puts me first rather than themselves. Someone who deserves me. Someone who is not you. Someone who is new and improved.


41 thoughts on “Shiny, New and Improved”

  1. HG, do narcs typically follow the same pattern with their relationships? I think with my ex it looks like he would meet someone fall in love right away, have a child or 2 ( not with me) and the women leaves him. He stays out of relationships for about 4 or 5 years and it repeats. Is this typical? In between he has a few not serious relationships but he doesn’t tell you that until the discard! Also of course he was always the victim!

  2. I do not equate minimal effort as being given everything.
    The statement well rid of is interesting, as that is not factual, now is it…you do not wish to be well rid of anyone, in case they become a useful supplier again. Hence, the no wasting time to find someone new, they were already In the wings waiting, we all have stand in aka, lady In waiting. Out with the old and IN with the new again. Insert sounds of fanfare and heralding trumpets. The Kings mistress has arrived at court.

    The forever comparing one to the other, cue music… playing the triangulation well, maestro.

    As the image suggests, Lauren/ latest victim, is a robot, programmed to obey and admire and defend. Can of oil for her and copious amounts fuel for you. Perfection.
    Someone who allows you to think for them…..subsume and consume, till their identity is void and your void is full.

    Bravissimo HG. Obviously this speech is meant to elicit negative fuel from your previous primary source, by means of jealousy, triangulation anger, tears and potential revenge schemes where you can initiate a smear campaign.

    I wouldn’t be present to hear that whole speech I would have left by you disgust me and with several choice words upon my exit.
    Have you ever actually used that speech on a girlfriend and what is her immediate response, pleading or tears?
    Words can really cut through the heart of the matter and the victim.

    1. I doubt you would have left, you would want to say your piece and be too interested in what I/him had to say about you.
      Yes it has been used. Pleading and tears.

      1. Thank you so much for reply. Yes, I do desire to say my piece and peace in most matters. Being heard is of value to me. As I choose to hear others.
        Upon consideration of your comment, that is fair. I would want to know, if what you were saying was truth and not just created to elict emotion. If I deemed it there latter, then indeed I would have left. No doubt crying and pleading and more.

  3. Ohhhh, you just had to add the below-the-belt jab on impregnating Ms. Perfect Someone New. Your horns are showing for that one.

  4. This posting is very nice because it means the start of a new beautiful love ❤️😍. New exciting romance. Intense feelings of happiness…
    But on the other side there is a love that extinguished leaving lots of sadness behind 😢 And not only the normal sadness of a normal breakup but the trail if the 2 battles which is a powerful feeling of pain…
    And also sad is thaf the cycle continues because there is always somebody new and shinier 😓
    If Lauren is the end of the cycle then its heaven I guess 😃😍😘

  5. This was the very first post I ever read by you, HG. I was shocked and disgusted but also intrigued enough to read more of your posts. I remember my comment about this article was critical and you told me I was being harsh–and indeed I probably was. I understand a lot more now, and I also have come to believe that somewhere in that nearly impenetrable tower is a very good man who doesn’t want to hurt anyone and is screaming to get out of his self imposed prison…. impressive post.

  6. I agree with this post HG. I would rather be with someone who puts me first. My father did and still does, my Mother (although codependent), my older brothers, older Sisters, all acquaintances, strangers, extended family, lovers, business partners (if not, it would lead to destruction) and Corporations. It would disgust me if I was not. I feel everyone ought to feel the same? I mean feel they ought to come first? Especially women who are entitled? My Father always told me I was a Gem. Aren’t all women atypical Gems? Experts/Dr’s have said (my therapists) that not all emphats are codependents. In fact, Emphats (one if my sisters is one) are much more aware and are detached to narcissism. Also, narcissism has just recently been studied to be somewhat healthy in a sense due to a significant amount of success that derives from pride and courage in business, politics, entertainment, art, music, Medical (USC go!) and so forth. Are you still with Lauren? Or is “Lauren” a fictional name?

  7. I caved today. I looked. Created a fake account to do it. They’re (narc ex husband and his gf- the woman he cheated with) on the family vacation I used to go on with his family, and our kids.

    She’s now Facebook friends with his family. He likes all her Facebook posts and he would never like mine (both personal and business pages), even when I begged him to. It’s not fair. How do they get happily ever after? His mom send me an email saying she just really grasped that I’m not coming to this vacation this year (this will be the third year in not there, btw), knowing the gf was going to be there.

    She gets family vacations, romantic trips and solo trips. How is that fair? How do they get to rip apart my life and then keep happily moving along?

    I also think about the last time I was on that family vacation three years ago, and he was just starting things with her. Knowing that he was sneaking and contacting her, remembering how he badly he treated me. I was completely on edge and emotional (now I know why). That was the last time I saw his family, and that is the last memory they have of me.

    1. Hello Divined, there is no happy ever after although of course we want you to think this. She may get the family vacations etc – for now – it will all fall part in time, she will be treated the way you have been in the end. There is nothing to be gained though in watching and waiting for that to happen, tempting as it is to do it. That is what he wants. He suspects already you are waiting and watching. That is why this façade of vacations and the happy ever after is rolled out. In part it is to continue the seduction and the golden period for her, in part it is to stick two fingers up at you in the (likely) event that you are watching. No it is not fair, it never is with our kind but if you keep spying on him you will be fuelling him and also hindering your own progress because you will remain swamped in the emotional sea. You need to look to your own defences. Keep reading my work, especially Exorcism, Decipher and No Contact. Read the articles The Emotional Battles (there are three of them_ and Relationship Bulletin. Don’t stalk his FB. I know it feels partially good to do so but you are ultimately making it worse for you.

    2. I sympathize with you. Although 3 years may feel like a long time, I think you are also experiencing the stages of grief. Because you were in a fog and in survival mode with tons of questions and not many answers, you were in shock. For a long time. Now you are understanding. Hello stage 3 – anger. It’s ok to feel it and let itself work out. You sustained a tremendous loss of a monumental relationship in your life.

  8. Yes .. I remember the words …

    He said he’d ” met some one kind & caring ”

    He’d forgotten that he was the one that love bombed me .
    Forgotten that I gave him everything.
    Forgotten all the sacrifices that I made for him.
    Forgotten that I nearly lost the love of my children for him because they couldn’t cope seeing the gibbering wreck that once was their mother AND forgotten that I was THAT ” Kind , caring person” before his mission to try & destroy me ..

    1. They always forget. Pick ur head up and live. Smile everytime u see him and pray for his soul. He’s gonna need it where he going…

      1. Thank you Miss_stress x

        We all are 🙂

        It’s sad know they’ll control & manipulate their new targets in exactly the same way .

        It’s good to see you posting . Stay strong . xx
        thinking of you xx

      2. Yes, I know for the past when I had warned his victim after me, she defended him and he had already made me out to be In the wrong. She was not nasty to me, but she was smitten with him. So she couldn’t hear me. It did make me sad, but I tried. I wish someone had tried with me. But then who is say if I was smitten would I have listen, with number one I would have, the last one, I can’t say the same.
        Thank you So Sad, posting helps me clear my mind of thoughts and questions and receiving answers he would nevr give me. It is part of my healing.
        Big hugs xx

      1. Can’t beat summer in the UK . This is it . Take photo’s , it’ll be raining by Wednesday .. Haha.

      2. Golden period today and tomorrow. Devaluation Wednesday. On a plane to find new golden period Thursday. Even the weather is a narcissist.

      3. Hahahaha . I laughed out loud at that HG

        Charm & a sense of humor ! that’s an intoxicating mix .. Bet you could charm the birds off the trees 🙂

  9. I must have lost my mind. As much as I hate this one. I would be o.k with it if he would just stay away. Even when I left he is still with me… I don’t even have to see him I fell him before he comes. I don’t know how, but it happened for a solid week then his girlfriend contacted me saying he needed my help….ugh then they meet me. I help them. He seems calmer than he’s ever been. Nice I think. She’s good for you .I think we’ll it’s good.

    1. Hi Karen ,

      I just read your post . His GF contacted you & said he ” needed your help ? ” Can I ask why please ?

      How does she have your number ?

      It sounds very much to me that he’s not only manipulating you both but triangulating you both too
      I don’t want to sound patronising but are you familiar with ” triangulation ” in a relationship ?
      I’m sure HG can tell you what’s going on here .

      So sad x

      1. During the 3 years that I left I broke my no contact to check on my mother in law when she was in the hospital because I had deleted all the numbers I had to call his to get hers because his is still the same number. I really did not know what I was dealing with until I started reading these post by HG. I had picked up on some things but because I question myself now thought that I was thinking crazy.He has made some attempts to find out where I was and try to come back and I refused to comply. The last time he called was January. He said he ran his girlfriend off . He loved me. Needed me blah blah blah Well I find out how to get in touch with his girlfriend and see what she says. He doesn’t know that I have talked to her. So I tell him that I won’t take him back ever. I continue to talk to her. He starts calling her we keep talking. She then starts asking me what I would do if I were her. I told her It was her choice but he needed someone so go ahead and go back. She did a week later. She was acting like we could stay friends and I said no. I knew that it would give him a play field on both of us. She thinks I’m crazy and don’t know what I’m talking about which is expected. But I was thinking he could keep her and leave me alone. Months go by and they appear in my line at work out of nowhere buying something. I moved three or four counties away where he never liked living.So I didn’t know why they were in my city. So I quit that job even though I really needed it. Then I see them in my Walmart while I’m turning a corner to leave… No words we just glare .So I find out from mother in law him and his girlfriend have moved up here somewhere so he can be close to someone he is working for. Weeks go by nothing… everything is fine. Then for a solid week I can from nowhere i sense his presence almost like he is trying to seduce me but without his physical body present. At first I think what the H**l… this keeps happening for a solid week. I can’t eat sleep or function right. It got so bad was thinking if I have kill myself to stop this I have gotta stop it. I finally can’t stay awake any longer and fall asleep for about 7 hours to which I wake up to a text that says C needs you to help him get some gasoline I text back as to if he has a gas can and where is he. Then she replies that was the night before on his way home from the hospital. His mom calls and tells me he hasn’t worked and is out of food. He had surgery on his intestines last year so there is only certain things that he can eat. They agree to meet me at the Walmart and I get him a few things. I try to buy him something to eat. He only will drink a milkshake so we meet and I buy milkshakes. I have my grandkids with me that I now are raising that he hadn’t seen in 3 years. The kids are glad to see him. I now know I feed him fuel because I was concerned for his health and feeding him. Well he doesn’t talk much and he seems calmer but he was sick . So I leave thinking maybe it will be different with this woman he seems much calmer not happy but calmer. After all it was my fault right. I felt peaceful. Four days later he wants to come see the kids. So I agreed. They come but he falls asleep on my couch sitting next to my grandson. So I cover him up , she falls asleep so I cover her up and sit up all night…. As I watch them sleep she tries to hug up to him he refuses then at one point kicks her off the couch. I’m thinking this a** hole hasn’t changed he is playing games still. I drift off and wake up he is at me. I raise up and he looks away. So I act like he is not there for the remainder of the day. My table was broke so they left to get some bigger screws so he could fix it. They come back hours later and he fixes it. But he is cold calm hardly speaking. He finished fixing the table. I thanked him. He sits down and she keeps saying are you ready he says yes but sits there 5 minutes before getting up and leaving. Now I’m thinking oh no. I’m not going to play .

      2. So sad forgot to mention when he fixed the table his movements had much improved not like oh I’m hurting like when he came the night before. Since I left he must had lost a lot of fuel. His home he set on fire. He lost his job friends turned on him or him on them..his health got worse. I guess he is looking for fuel pumps

  10. I apologize for my upper post being so long. I have no idea where I really am in this process. I’m not ready for the hit but something tells me to fuel up regroup and prepare I know it’s coming

  11. Ok you made news ugh with a that in love with you rubbish I really had a blast…. Angel sent from above … THE DEVIL YOU ARE oh please thanks for that chuckle and let me clear this it for you Incase of any confusion God will never give you someone else’s husband or wife period hahahaaaaaa thanks for the nightly chuckle in love oh please you can’t even love yourself because you fibrolite you fuel that was a good one Tudor not to mention the great monologue and show you just provided nagging alert ….. Rubs really far away chocking from laughter parts if what you said I sort if previously suspected he might say so I said when ahead of time and I beat him that way he’s such a moron and his brother his entire family and works in too powerful for them and no you didn’t turned me into this Tudor I’m very proud to laugh at the in love with you part such bullshit made my night really tickles me so too much but it is never too much to laugh you should always laugh laughter us the best medicine next to good ol revenge

  12. It will never be shiny it will never be new avd it will certainly never be improved because it is old and moldy and it us constantly like they because it lives in a world if false happiness and real energy I call energy what the works nowadays refers to good and bad energy which is my translation fir peace faith life anger etcetera……


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