Parasitic

 

 

 

You fed off me and I am sick of it. You attached yourself to me drawn by my magnetism, but I never asked you to. You just decided that you wanted to be with me, you need me, truth be told and because I am magnanimous I allowed you to attach to me but as of late your taking and leeching has begun to annoy me. You cannot deny this is what you are. The evidence speaks for itself. You saw my charm, my attractiveness, my easy manner with people and how they are drawn to me and like some opportunist you decided that you wanted some of that. You realised that you could benefit massively by attaching yourself to me. You could avail yourself of my impeccable reputation, my scintillating presence as my esteemed connections. I do not blame you for wanting to be associated with me, who would not? Who would not want such a slice of the action as me? The opportunity to move in circles that you had never experienced before. The chance to be somebody. The time to clamber upwards from the tedious life you led and the doldrums in which you festered. I suppose I ought to admire your desire to improve yourself and better yourself by seeing what I am and what I do and wanting to be a part of that world. You certainly did become part of that world as well. You enjoyed my extraordinary largesse as you accepted my gifts, my invitations and my cold hard cash. You were delighted to be on my arm as we went to so many special places. You were granted access all areas. You consumed the love I poured in your direction, drinking deep of my passion, my affection and my dedication. I helped you, I listened, I advised. I called you often as you wanted me to. I made sure you felt safe and secure with my frequent messages and attention to your well-being. I allowed your friends and family to become part of my entourage, they certainly had no qualms about getting on the gravy train did they? You dominated my attention, engulfed me with your need to keep taking from me. Even when matters became difficult you did not stop with your neediness. You wanted reassurance still, to be told that I loved you, to be taken to those special places once again. You tried to stop me doing what I wanted to do, what I needed to do. You wanted to prevent me spending time with my friends and yes before you say anything they were always only ever my friends. Honest. You saw me as an easy target. I see that now and you kept taking, taking and taking. Is it little wonder that my irritation became annoyance? That my annoyance became fury? You just would not stop taking from me and in the end I had to stop this. I had to find someone who would give rather than take and that meant I had to be rid of you. That is why I chose someone else to escape your leeching and draining behaviour. That is why I cast you aside. You are a parasite.

 

 

 

You fed off me and I am sick with it. You attached yourself to me drawn by my goodness, but I never asked you to. You just decided that you wanted to be with me, you need me, truth be told and because I am the kind and caring person that I pride myself on being, I allowed you to attach to me but as of late your taking and leeching has begun to destroy me. You cannot deny this is what you are. The evidence speaks for itself. You saw my compassion, my attractiveness, my empathic manner with people and how they respond to such kindness and love and like some opportunist you decided that you wanted all of that for yourself. You realised that you could benefit massively by attaching yourself to me. You could avail yourself of my gushing compassion, my reflective presence as my emotional nature. I do not blame you for wanting to be with me, who would not when they are a creature like you? Who would not want such to erode me slice by slice? The opportunity to move yet again in circles that you had experienced before. The chance to be make yourself feel like somebody for once. The time to clamber upwards from the empty life you lead and the chasm which threatens to engulf you. I suppose I ought to admire your desire to improve yourself and better yourself by seeing what I am and what I do and wanting to make me part of you by swallowing me up. You certainly did make me become part of you as I struggle to remember most days who I am and what I was before I met you. You enjoyed my extraordinary love as you accepted my attentiveness, my invitation into my heart and my warm, loving nature. You were delighted to be on my arm as we went to so many special places. You were granted access all areas to who I was and you saw no reason to ever respect my identity. You consumed the love I poured in your direction, drinking deep of my passion, my affection and my dedication. I helped you, I listened, I advised and even when you began to abuse me, I never wavered from that. I called you often as you wanted me to. I made sure you felt safe and secure with my frequent messages and attention to your well-being. I allowed my friends and family to become part of your facade, they certainly had no qualms about forgetting me following your smear campaigns did they? You dominated my attention, engulfed me with your need to keep taking from me. Even when matters became difficult you did not stop with your neediness. You wanted reassurance still, to be told that I loved you, to be taken to those special places in side my soul once again. You tried to stop me doing what I wanted to do, what I needed to do. You wanted to prevent me spending time with my friends and yes before you say anything they were my friends until you banished them. Honest. You saw me as an easy target. I see that now and you kept taking, taking and taking. Is it little wonder that my confusion became despair? That my despair became desperation? You just would not stop taking from me and in the end I need to find a way to stop this, but I can’t seem to. You won’t stop.  I have to find someone who will give rather than take and that means I need to be rid of you. I know this has to happen but I feel I cannot escape you, you have drained and leeched from me to such an extent that I am barely able to think and function. That is why I need to cast you aside but how can I when you will not let me go and you will not stop causing me to love you. You are a parasite.

 

Who is the parasite. You, me or both of us?

 

The parasite is the one who benefits at the expense of the other.

 

Who is the parasite?

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57 thoughts on “Parasitic”

  1. You are up late…or early…depending on one’s view… Are you okay? You may ST me and that’s okay. It is all good. I am concerned.

  2. ACTUAL PARASITES physically manifested in my body by the end of the Narcissists reign in my life! So wore down, spent 4 months cleansing them out of my digestive track, liver and gall bladder. They are now literally trapped “under my skin” in my muscles all over my whole body! Very painful, very draining, very scary! I know who the parasites are! Actual fact this happens to abuse victims! If you haven’t escaped your Narc yet, Get out! Get out! Get OUT before this happens to you!

      1. That has just reminded me of a book I read while with #1 it was called “I hate you, don’t leave me”. Could be a narcissistic anthem.

  3. Paradox..it was one of the first posts that I read real time. Beautifully written and chilling. You are the parasite. Boooo. I don’t want to compare you to a tapeworm. Please heal.

  4. Very good use of juxtraposition HG causing me to feel angered by the first text and vindicated by the second.

    I’m sure you fully intended to cause much contraversy with this. You ask us to answer the question which I will…YOU are the parasite. My opinion is based on my experience as I gave and gave to the point of losing myself and breaking from complete mental exhaustion. I could never fill the black hole inside him it just consumed me and all I got in return was pain and heartache, even the golden period was not very golden.

    So now I’d really like to know your answer to the question. Who do you consider the parasite?

    1. Naturally, as you would expect, we would regard you as the parasite feeding off our largesse, brilliance and magnificence but that is our blame-shifting at work again.

  5. So…prey tell HG…Is their a grading higher than A++…I would like to comment on this…busy right now…you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll be back…on this one…simply… thank you… for now…

  6. YOU! Are the parasite when you willing and falsely attach to your host/ partner/ appliance for the sole purpose of draining their positive energy , love, adoration, loyalty and support to fullfill your own darkened being, and thusly rob them of their own.
    THEY! Are the parasite, if they attached themselves to you to reap material gain, selfish means or to take from you in a similar fashion, ie covert narcissists posing as co dependents, who purposely attach to Narcissist to feed off them In the same manner. Except in this instance, you are both parasites. Feeding off each other and thusly, deserve one another and the consequences of each other’s behaviours.

    Refuse to be the good host, they expect you to be. Force them to dine/feed elsewhere. So then the ones who welcome them to their table, always providing a place at the head of the table, can be eaten out of house and home, as reward for welcoming and begging them entrance.

    This article really bugged me HG 😏

    1. Bugged me too. Sent a comment in moderation about it. Felt a little to close to blame-shifting. I get where he is coming from in the exceptions where both are consciously engaging in “take behavior”. However, many survivors are not consciously aware of the “arrangement”.

      1. exactly Indy.Those of us who were unknowingly ensnared by a Narcissist, did not volunteer to be chosen or offer ourselves up either. We were targeted for the traits we have and that they can subsume. In a parasitic fashion.
        They take, we give. Relationships function in a healthy manner on a mutual beneficial level of give and take by each person. It is in the unbalance that harm is effected.

      1. I should stop thinking about these men, not CN! He is a choirboy to the others, BUT MN and ex BF, who were calculating, physical and vile In their ways. The positive is. I won. Not them. But, not until after much damage, emotional and otherwise had already occurred.
        Thank you Nikita.

      2. Hi J. Did you have a new relationship in the meantime? I understand you had an N and an MN and now you talk about a BF??… Now I am the one questioning 😋

      3. No, I like questions. No recent elationship, only with CN for past four years, I was telling CJ about a BF I had when I was just out of University, that Hg then chimed in was no doubt a Narcissist too…disheartening. I knew he was abusive by the things he would say and do. He was obviously sociopathic as well, same as ex husband. No, BF since CN, and there will be none any time soon.

  7. Yes, I took your fake appreciation and affection and sucked it up but unlike a parasite I was also willing to give. I gave my heart, my love, my attention, my body (sexually and baring your children), my pride, my esteem, my friends, my values, my mind, my personality, my IDENTITY. It still was not a enough for the parasite in you that constantly needs to feed. I will escape you and rid you from my body. Even if the remnants of you are still in their somewhere I will not notice. I will grow strong and well again and find someone who can supply as much as they demand. I will survive and in my mind you will die!

    1. You are the parasite . Your intention is false from the start . We believe it’s give and take and real . In the end we are devastated , I’ll , bewildered , heartbroken . You have stole our souls .

  8. Oh the narcissistic projection, always talking about themselves while pointing that condemning finger at the other person.

    Great twist at the end HG.
    Excelant article!

  9. Parasites are successful by a few strategies on their part: 1.) they are smaller than their host and do not kill them, rather they drain them. 2.) parasites have stealth and are oftentimes not detected until host is drained. When detected, the host removes them.

    So, in your analogy here, HG, which one is the one that uses stealth and goes undetected in the dance between the narcissist and the partner?

    1. Using your description it would be us. Of course that is not acceptable to us and therefore we will blame you instead stating that you drain us and that is why we end up looking to someone else and devaluing you, you bring it on yourselves.

      1. I wonder, do you, personally HG, feel it is not acceptable? (No ‘us’ and ‘my kind’ talk).

        I see you are able to write both sides…you know both sides….you have been on BOTH sides (at the hands of your mother, at minimum).

        Can you see it this way: When you seek to control, gaslight, victim-blame and shame others that seek affection from you (during devaluation), you are perpetuating your mother’s agenda and thusly, it is not you that is powerful, but your mother. Your mother acts through your veins….how about committing the ultimate revenge by not passing down the family value of control and conquer?

      2. It is not acceptable to me as if offends my superiority.
        I am not MatriNarc. I am more than her. The cessation of my activity would place me in jeopardy and therefore would not be a wise move. Nor would it be the ultimate act of revenge. I have that in hand.

      3. Do you have any doubt in your ultimate superiority over all people? Really, honestly.

      4. Do you think you will view yourself as superior over “the one”? I think I know your answer but I wonder if it is part of a conscious facade and this character of superiority that is the “better version of you” is consciously thrown out there to avoid vulnerability. You are aware, it confuses me, that you are aware and yet hold this view, unless it has a level of tongue and cheek to keep up the image. Help me understand this, please….That’s a lot of pressure to be superior, dude!

      5. This is where there is a peculiarity. The Lesser and the Mid-Range believe themselves superior (or act as if they are even if they do not consciously think it) even though they may not be. The Greater often has many innate superiorities (financial success, career progress, natural charisma and so forth) but this is added to and increased so that the Greater becomes even better. The Greater will often be superior anyway but will still maintain the façade of increased superiority in order to keep any doubt away.

      6. Thank you for your time in responding. I guess I struggle most with your definition of superiority. You mention finances, career, charisma. I have no doubt, your kind has all those in spades. What about when compared to someone like Mother Thressa (or someone known for deep kindness and spirituality) or some one brilliant like well known geniuses of the world? Is your definition mainly on the surface things or does it extend deeper?

      7. A valid point from your perspective Indy, compassion and kindness are not criteria in assessing superiority from our perspective. If you compared me to Mother Theresa and based superiority on compassion, I would still lose even though she is dead.

      8. Oh wait, is that true with all greaters? For example, cult leader narcicists? Cue “cult of Personality” I guess it would be a facade still and they would known their compassion is fake,right? All about fuel and power and control of the masses, even if they profess to have the ear of God.

        Geniuses? Do you think you are a genius? Is this part of your definition of superiority? Akin to those astrophysicist types?

      9. We have plenty of charisma which then allows us to create a cult. Remember we can exhibit false empathy (having learned what it looks like) in order to con people.

        Do I think I am a genius? I am surprised you even had to ask.

  10. Predators are parasites by definition. The prey has something the predator needs to survive, prey by nature does not go “after” a predator. I was chased, you do the chasing, (you as in a narc, me as in target) In fact, you studied, watched, stalked like cougar pacing back and forth, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. Once captured, you began a seductive torture, as you nibbled, tiny pieces of my flesh, slowly devouring me over time. I am the life force, I am your food, you feed, you are the parasite.

      1. Hi J
        Symbiosis is a positive feeding of each other. Its profiting of synergies and sharing what the other doesnt have to make better results… just saying… becuase of your comment to maddie.

      2. I know what it is an healthy relationship nIkita, I was referring to the other types of relationships.I didn’t mispeak, I assure you.

    1. Symbiotic relationships rely on the types being compatible. For Narc there is one type, empathic. You are a clown fish he is the poisonous anenome. Hence you are clowning yourself to think he wants anything more than a victim to play with. If you are okay with that, fine, keep feeding HGs uh, whoevers ego, as if we didn’t know.

  11. Wow no wonder we feel crazy when we are in these relationships. And dear god once we are out we need to remember the craziness and tell ourselves it will never ever ever be different. Thanks for the reminder HG

  12. By what you have written, which is indeed marvellous as always, both are parasitic to some degree. The Victim benefits during the Golden Period and the other benefits from all the fuel – both positive and negative.

    But, it would be the Narcissist who is viewed as the parasite, since he chooses his victims and latches on to them. The Victim doesn`t necessarily choose the narcissist until the narcissist chooses him or her. The Victim only latches on after the Narcissist ensnares him or her.

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