Prey

 

Image result for man biting womans neck

 

We are adept at sniffing out our prey. We are able to identify those that will be of little use to us and ignoring them. We discern those who are obstructive and avoid them. We have an instinctive ability to target those who serve our purposes with the greatest effectiveness. Those who will provide us with copious amounts of fuel, those who will provide the traits that we need to steal for our own construct in order to draw others to us as to keep the creature at bay. Those who will give us the additional benefits which we regard as our entitlement, access to your resources for our sole use. The Lesser latches on to those who serve his kind once they come too close to him. Like a predator noticing the scent of a potential victim, he is alerted to your presence and makes his move, swift and immediate. A creature of instinct, he knows when there is a victim who will suit his purposes nearby and will go after that person. They may not be the best suited to his purposes but that does not matter, for now. He senses prey and will bring down this victim and attach himself to them, leeching the fuel from them until it is near empty and he will then discard and move to the next victim he has sniffed out and who is nearby. The Lesser will lurk in the most proven hunting grounds. He does not want to venture too far away. He does not want to expend too much energy stalking that prey and wearing it down. He looks for victims who are easily in reach, who he can bring down without much effort and then sink his fangs into with ease. It might be that a more suitable, a more fuelling victim, is a little distance away, but the Lesser goes for what is in front of him. He will not spend time seeking out a better victim but slays what is nearest and then moves on to the next nearest and so forth. Thus the Lesser hunts in an aggressive and volatile manner, he must seduce his victims quickly for fear of the beast within making itself known too soon and frightening his prey away. He has to camouflage his own creature and is not able to do it for too long. The Lesser will want low-hanging fruit. He is not interested in those that might pose a challenge and thus provide more rewarding fuel. He will take fuel from his primary source victims anyway he can. You may liken it to someone mine sweeping for drinks at a party. Rather than waiting to find the bottle of Grey Goose vodka hidden by the host at the back of a cupboard, the Lesser will drink the dregs of a can of beer, then swig what remains from the nearest bottle of wine and thus move from receptacle to receptacle, feasting and draining.

The Mid-Range is more discerning. He knows what he is attracted to and he will spend longer searching for it. He has reasonable intelligence, guile and ability and thus he will put this to use in order to find the more appropriate victim for him. He can pass over somebody who might be suitable but is not entirely satisfactory. Whereas the Lesser would have snatched hold of that victim, sniffing out that person’s reasonable suitability, a number of the traits he requires being met, but not all, the Mid-Range is content to stalk a little longer. The Mid-Range makes considerable use of watching from afar as he evaluates the applicability of his prospective prey. He observes, regards and reflects. He does not have the out and out confidence to go for the kill straight away like the Greater, nor is he pushed by the sense of urgency and hunger which afflicts the Lesser. He has some control and he will use this to ensure his appliances, especially those which become the primary source are the better ones. He of course is not of limitless energy and there comes a time when necessity becomes the driver for interaction and he must make his choice, but it is not without consideration and application to those traits, both generic to the empathic individual and specific to the type of victim which best accords with his own needs. The Mid-Range recognises that there is a type of person he is drawn to, although he does not know why this is. He is able to discern those traits and characteristics which serve him best and as a consequence it is those that he will apply some time to achieving. He recognises that certain traits in people afford him greater satisfaction and therefore he will look for those without knowing the true reason he does so. The Mid-Range will apply some methodology to the hunt for his prey but there is always the pressure of need which means that it may not be as ideal as he might like.

Continuing the mine sweeping analogy, the Mid-Range would not bother to sup the dregs from bottles and glasses at the part but spend time thinking about where the “good stuff” might be stashed. He will locate four cans of beer in the fridge. There might be greater rewards elsewhere but he is satisfied with this reasonable degree of quality that he has identified and does not want to risk letting his prize disappear as he gambles on trying to find something superior and failing.

The Greater revels in the hunt. The identification of the choicest victim is crucial to him. Yes, there may be times when necessity brings about the imposition of a less desirable (yet still functional) victim but when the conditions are apt (there is no fuel crisis and we are preparing for discard and are therefore in control of our environment) the Greater will spend time identifying those who exhibit many of the generic and specific traits that will serve him best. Indeed, the Greater will have several prospects in hand as he mines information about these prospects, assesses and evaluates it. Once satisfied that the signs and indications are good, he will make his move and engage to ascertain that his initial intelligence remains good. If it is (and it is usually is) he will then move in for the kill. Unlike the Lesser who will go for the jugular and bring his victim down swiftly and promptly, the Greater will utilise the intelligence that he has gathered in order to mesmerise, charm and hypnotise his victim. With dedicated application, the Greater will readily disarm his victim, disable any self-defence which may exist and have the victim exactly where he wants him or her. Like a viper, he will strike suddenly and with lightning speed he will be attached to the victim, fangs sunk deep and then the draining will begin as the fuel pumps from the unwitting victim to be sucked up by the Greater. The Greater knows what he wants and he will stalk different hunting grounds in order to achieve what he wants. He has the ability and the energy to sustain a longer hunt, or a shorter hunt where the victim may prove to be more challenging. Of course if a victim supplies the necessary traits and can be ensnared with ease, the Greater will also take this low-hanging fruit. He is no fool. However, he is undeterred by the higher-hanging fruit, that which is more succulent and nourishing in terms of fuel. He knows where to find the best victims, that is why he operates in several hunting grounds and he also is the most able of the three schools of narcissist to identify the traits in his victims. Whilst the Lesser sense by instinct, the Mid-Range knows what works for him but does not know why, the Greater knows precisely what it is what he wants. He also knows how these various traits manifest in his victims. He understands what to look for, what to see, what to listen out for and once he has seen the indicators he is able to satisfy himself that the appropriate traits exist within this target. He will then lock on and only in the most extreme of cases will he be prevented from conquering this target. The reward is too tantalising, his skill set too great and the lure of such a delicious victim proves too great for him to resist, challenging or not.

Once those fangs have sunk into the victim and the fuel is drawn, whether it is a Lesser, Mid-Range or Greater, we will remain until it comes time to identify the next prey.

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66 thoughts on “Prey”

  1. Do narcissists apply different degrees of love-bombing in the initial stages depending on their source? For example, are their sources that they do not bother love-bombing and seem to keep around longer?

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    1. It depends on the nature of the narcissist and the role of the victim. Mid-Range and Greater Narcissists engage more in the bombardment of the love bombing whereas the Lesser is pleasant and might do the odd romantic gesture but his golden period I suppose is more of a Bronze Period as he is keeping the beast under control during the seduction. The person who is allocated to the role of primary source receives the most intense love bombing because of their importance as a source of fuel. Secondary sources receive less love bombing and tertiary less again.

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  2. Would it be a “Greater Narcissist” that concentrates on semi-famous female musicians that interact with him on FB? Him being front row in their concerts staring at them with a lust filled predatory stare, having photos of himself taken with them. Constantly trying to interact with them online… Hoping to devour them as his next prey?

    Or could a Lesser or Mid-Range set his sights up so high?

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    1. This would not just be the preserve of the Greater Narcissist, Hope, any kind might engage in this kind of behaviour in order to acquire fuel (from people admiring the fact he is a “close personal friend” of said musician, the potential for triangulation) and also to acquire the traits from the musician. The persistence factor would probably discount a Lesser though.

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      1. Thank you, HG.
        Funny thing, none of these female celebrities wanted anything to do with him. 🙂 He eventually got annoyed and shut down that FB account. {I watched from afar} hehehe 🙂

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  3. This article was unnerving, as you know I’m on what the fifth Hoover this weekend since I’ve connected with you on your blog. With his constant silent treatments, I’m curious, does he still view me as prey? Am I compared to other contenders as you describe in that sense? Or do you still think I’m compartmentalized as an appliance he wants to punish with malign hoovers? It gets confusing when I try to apply your principles of thinking in good/bad and black /white? Knowing his patterns as well as you’ve nailed each time, am I in the dreaded category of him wanting a “Grudgef*ck”?

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    1. Yes subconsciously he will regard you as prey. You will be compartmentalised and at present he still regards you as good, but that will change as his frustration mounts and he will switch to black in due course. I suspect that JN with his predilection for sexting is a prime candidate for wanting a grudge fuck.

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      1. His frustration will mount if I don’t deliver positive fuel at a certain level? You know he has reached out at times pushing me to specifically extract negative fuel from the onset. Or is that the illusion he’s creating? He still considers me bad / black for all my treacherous acts (calling him out repeatedly for his bs) and he is setting the scene to be able to push me off of the cliff? Ultimately you’ve always said negative fuel is more edifying and he’s especially partial to mine.
        Applying your principles from Fuel, it’s almost fascinating watching his patterns and how they switch back and forth, now that I am emotionally guarded and not interacting from a place that he must be returning because he’s in love with me. I know he loves my fuel, so I’m perfectly ok with doling out a small sample to remind him what he had then shutting the tap off.

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      2. He wants you to respond in the manner he demands of you. His sense of entitlement is driving him on to ensure that you remain compliant. He wants you to provide positive fuel when he deigns to be pleasant and magnanimous in order to try to draw you back in so that he can then punish you for your transgressions.

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  4. I enjoyed that! I can still feel her biting on my neck. My ex loved leaving marks also because she said she was marking her territory. Another red flag. The image above was fitting. Mesmerize, charm, and hypnotize the victim was precisely what happened to me. She knew exactly what she wanted. She stated that she loved married women, any women really,( I think married was a bonus), ages 35-55, and patient. I don’t know how I didn’t see it. I’m now seeing more and more that she falls in the Greater category. Everything she did was planned and it shouldn’t be a surprise to me that, as HG has pointed out, she still has plans. Do you think that’s what category she belongs in? Silent treatments,gas lighting, extensive love bombing, triangulation, guilt, withdrawal, and projection were all in her devil’s toolkit. Thank HG

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      1. Omg my narcissist used to do the same… marks on my body as he was marking his territory. Thanks Snow White for pointing it out 🙂

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      2. Oh G you get another kiss from me You cute ! Xxxx That is logical too. I wonder what code would You leave and do You keep Your receipts?

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      3. Snow White and the seven dwarfs. Lol..branded for life. You must have a file full of receipts. 🍎

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      4. Lol!!! I can picture file cabinets in a locked room! But with your memory, I imagine you have everything stored in you head.

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      5. dear G. Thanks for the reply. I was sure You keep Your receipts 😉 what mark would You leave on me though?

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    1. My ex was similar as yours, Snow White .. HG marked him as a Mid range cerebral narc…he love bombed through entire relationship, he went from go,den to devalue on a continuous basis, golden period I would say ended 2.5 years in, when he began internittent devaluation with silences. He was excellent at circular conversations to deflect his wrong doing , gas lighting, blame, silent treatments and making make me feel guilt and shame…he knew all the tricks to me to make me relent and forgive his ways. Until, I didn’t anymore. In that sense they don’t play their game very well, if they falter so much, that we realize what they are and what we must then do.
      They know how to effect us, MCN was sweet and sensitive…not like other men…that is how he drew me in. It is still difficult to believe at times. How excellent an actor he was to achieve his means to end, FUEL.

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      1. Hi PM! They have a lot in common unfortunately😖 That was my initial guess, Mid range to Greater. My love bombing was the exact same and it is still going on. They had excellent skills. I bet from years of practice. They weren’t amateurs.

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      2. Amen to that Snow White…I believe MCN has been doing this since he was a teenager….he told me a few things and I listen. I wager since he was fifteen.

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      3. PM, they had to learn at such a young age how to manipulate the world and what to do to survive and we just wanted to love them.

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      4. It always makes me wonder why say, both MCN and a I grew up with narcisisist mums, co dependent fathers, similar background, affluence, education, and so forth…yet , he becomes a Narcissist and I became a co dependent empath…I often and sit and wonder why? Why didn’t I become like him or he become like me….what was the difference. He has hatred for his mum, a deep seated indiffernce. I loved my mother and knew even as a child she was ill and her behaviour was wrong. I forgave my mum when I was still a child and I became more like my father, a caretaker, a giver…I chose to not be like my mother. Yet. Through his hatred of his mother, he became the same as her…his story is so similar to Hgs. It is eerie.
        HG can perhaps speak to this form his and sisters prespective, where he became as his mum and she became as her father. I think for me, I respected my fathers way of being. Unlike MCN and HG, almost revered their mums sense of power and authority, despite fearing it. They saw their co dependent fathers as weak. Whereas I my father is strong and loving and enduring.
        I can only for why I am as I am and what MCN told me of his childhood to determine why he is why he is and I cannot speak for HG, so would ask your I out HG on these matters.

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      5. That was quick HG….simple and to the point. I don’t take, I always give. He even tried to encourage me to take more, change how I am. Be different, more like him. Mind you as thought at time, he was like me.

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  5. Thanks for the invitation HG! After taking a look I’m sure that I would never be able to leave the locked room. Lol!

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  6. And so do you HG!
    Do you have a file or chapter talking about the mothering that a narc might seek out in their prey? Mine was 26 and I was 43 when we met. I said above that she preferred a select age group and she most definitely loved older women. You could tell she enjoyed being taken care of. Doing the laundry for her, cooking, making sure she was comfortable. The icing on the cake was when I saw her girlfriend cutting her nails!!! Is that something else that you are on the prowl for? If we have motherly qualities is that a bonus? I know it’s all FUEl!! She did her hair every morning too. I find it very interesting and would like to read more about it….The moment I said something that she found similar to her mother the fury or silent treatment began. Also interesting.

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    1. Yes these are residual benefits. They are discussed in Sitting Target and the “mothering element” forms a large chunk of The Victim Narcissist,which is still in progress.

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      1. Thank HG! I will get that one next. I plan on finishing Devil’s Toolkit tonight. It still blows my mind how much there is to learn and you are excellent at giving us all the pieces to the puzzle.

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  7. HG..finding your blog a couple of days ago seemed to be the missing link that I needed to fully stop questioning, wondering and worrying.

    I appreciate your work very much.

    Thank you

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  8. Thank you for the email reply:)

    I’m torn right now between knowing if this is all over or if I’m just discarded for the time being.

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